Angelic Scars: I comand you all to bow down to the awsome Kolie-chan!
Everyone: has fainted because she updated so fast
Angelic Scars: Hey get up, im not that bad. Anyway, Kolie is an amazing beta and has broken her own record i think, for betaing a chapter the quikest ever. (Glomp) THANK YOU! So you all better give her cookies and read her stories.
Muse-chan: Why am i still here?
Angelic Scars: because i was bored
Muse-chan: ... thats it...no writting...FOR A MONTH!
Anglic Scars: NOOOOOOOOOOO! I promise i'll be good, anything but that, please!
Muse-chan: ...fine...but only because i know i wont hear the end of it.
Angelic Scars: YAY! Now...on with the fict!
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"Nakano-san, he's awake."
There was a triumphant and joyful yell on the other side of the phone. Eiri held the offending object away from his ear, glaring at it and willing Hiro to be quieter. He could almost hear him smiling, HEAR HIM SMILING! What the hell was that about? Eiri glared at the phone again as he moved it closer to his ear.
"How is he? Is he ok? Did he say or do anything? What's he doing now?"
"He...," Eiri stopped. He still wasn't sure if he really had heard Shuichi speak. The voice had been so quiet, so weak, "he asked why."
Hiro was silent and Eiri could feel the atmosphere suddenly get heavier.
"Ok, I'll be there soon. Thank you for calling, Eiri-san." There was a click, and then the buzzing of a dead line. Eiri hung up the pay phone and listened to the coins clatter to the bottom. No change. He glared at the phone again.
Eiri walked slowly back to the room, shoulders hunched, lost in thought. He couldn't get rid of the image of Shuichi looking so lost, upset, scared. He wanted nothing more in the world than to see Shuichi smile. Smile a true heartfelt smile, one that wasn't there just to cover up another emotion. The one always so evident in his eyes.
Shuichi was still asleep, looking more peaceful than he had in days. One arm rested above the sheets. It was covered in bandages. They were stained a slightly dark red color, obviously needing to be changed soon. Even though the deep cuts had been stitched they still bled a little. And it frightened Eiri every time he saw the blood. An image of Shuichi lying on the floor, in a pool of his own blood, was permanently burned onto his retinas.
He sat on the edge of the bed and took the hand in his own. Lifting the bandaged wrist to his lips he gave it a gentle kiss, willing the boy to get well soon.
ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Hiro walked briskly through the hospital corridors. Turning this way and that as he negotiated the labyrinth. Suguru jogged along behind him trying to keep up. They soon arrived at the familiar door and the two of them burst and tumbled into the room.
"Shuichi, are you ok? How are you feeling?" Hiro said as he ran to his friend's side and plopped down on the edge of the bed. Shuichi was awake now, sitting upright and leaning against the soft, fluffy pillows. The boy stared at his friend with dark amethyst eyes. He looked down to his lap and shrugged. Hiro smiled, or at least tried to. The smile ended up looking more like a grimace. He rested a hand on Shuichi's shoulder and gently squeezed.
"We're all so glad you're ok, Shuichi. You have no idea how worried we were."
Shuichi looked out the window trying to ignore his visitors. His mind was in turmoil and he just wanted to be left alone in the quiet, to try and sort it out. But at the same time he was afraid to be alone. A large part of him was angry, angry they hadn't just let him die, angry he'd failed, angry that they were all here worrying about him when they didn't care...shouldn't care about him. He didn't deserve it.
He sank deeper into the pillows and sighed.
Another part of him, so faint it was barely there, was glad. Glad that they were all there, glad they hadn't left him. He was so glad to see them that he felt like crying.
But another part, the part of him that was currently screaming the loudest was terrified. Terrified of what awaited him outside of the pure white walls. Just when he was starting, slowly but surely, to relax around people and enjoy his life at University, it had happened.
Why? Why did the world hate him so? Anytime he started to feel happy, anytime he was allowed to be happy, his happiness was snatched away; waved tauntingly in front of him, laughing at his pathetic attempts to snatch it back, before it vanished and left only despair and pain in its wake. It seemed the only emotions he was allowed to feel.
And who was he to argue with fate, or whatever it was? If he was only allowed to feel pain and misery, then so be it. He sighed again and looked at Hiro. He didn't bother smiling or doing anything to reassure his friend. He felt too tired, too exhausted, to do anything.
Suguru walked up to the bed and sat in the chair. Eiri was standing by the door, not saying a word.
"Shindou-san, I'm glad to see you're awake. We were all so worried." He looked at Shuichi and took in his dishevelled and tired appearance.
"You should get some sleep, Shindou-san. You look exhausted." Shuichi smiled inwardly, glad to Suguru for saying that. Glad the boy had given him and excuse, and escape. Shuichi lay down and pulled the covers over him. Hiro shut the curtains, plunging the room into a state of semi-darkness. Hiro didn't go back to the bed, instead he walked up to Yuki and started to talk to him.
"We're going to get some coffee, you want anything, Fujisaki?" Suguru shook his green head and watch the two leave the room. The door clicked shut behind them and the only sound in the room was that of faint breathing, and the occasional beep of a machine.
"Shuichi," Suguru whispered. But he stopped, he didn't know how to go on, how to put what he wanted to say into words.
"Its ok, to be scared, you know?" Shuichi looked up at him, jewel-like eyes full of confusion.
"But don't let your fear take over. Or it'll be all you ever feel. You have us...if you ever need to talk to someone, confide in someone. Your friends will always be there." Suguru sighed again as he trailed off. That wasn't quite what he wanted to say. It just didn't sound right somehow.
"Fear...is a powerful emotion. It can destroy all other emotions if you let it. But...there will always be something that makes you feel safe...and that can drive the fear away...you ...just need to find it...and trust in it."
Shuichi remained quiet. A picture of Eiri popped into his mind. His safety? Yes, Eiri was that one who had done the impossible. Made him feel safe, made him feel, as if he just maybe...could trust people again. But...did he fully trust Eiri? Shuichi didn't know.
The fist time he'd met Yuki, he'd been terrified. Yuki was taller and bigger than him and looked mad. Shuichi had gone to his room and had the same nightmare he had every night. Or at least it had started that way, but halfway through he felt...warmth...a gentle kind warmth and his dream...nightmare vanished.
The terror of finding himself in a stranger's arms when he woke was probably greater than his fear of the nightmare, at first. But what scared him the most wasn't the fact the guy was a stranger. The thing that scared him the most, was the fact. That in Eiri's arms he felt...safe. And although he had been scared at every touch, he'd become addicted, addicted to a sleep not punctured by nightmares.
Things had gone very fast, most people would have probably dismissed him as a fraud, terrified of people and yet trusting Eiri so easily. But it wasn't that easy... He didn't trust Eiri completely. He let the older man hold him because it was the only way to sleep without the nightmares. And he had been so tired for so long. To finally have something...something that helped him, it was like a drug. He just couldn't give it up. And so he would sleep with Eiri, let him hold him not because he fully trusted him, but because he was weak and didn't want to go back to the nightmares. As time went on, he did slowly begin to trust Eiri, but then there was that girl Ayaka...and him. Shuichi shuddered.
"Don't let the fear beat you." Shuichi looked at Suguru again who was looking out the window, or at least looking at the curtains as if he could see through them.
"Don't ever let it win. Because it can't win...if you don't let it." Suguru gave Shuichi a brilliant smile, one that stretched to each ear and lit up his eyes. He gave Shuichi's hand a reassuring squeeze and then fell silent.
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"So what exactly happened when he woke up?"
Hiro and Eiri stood by the coffee machine. Hiro held a cup of coffee in his hand, the machine hummed as it poured another cup for Eiri.
He sighed and pushed back his blond hair angrily. He glared at the machine for a minute before he spoke.
"He asked...why...then he started to cry. I think he was really mad at me. I tried to hug him...to comfort him. But he tried to shrug me off. Then...he fell asleep."
Hiro nodded but didn't say anything. He watched the coffee machine pour the last of the coffee, it gave a shrill beep and Eiri took the cup.
"Why would he do that? He seemed...ok...well as ok as he could be... I never expected..."
"You don't know the full story...he's...he's been through more than you realize. He's done this before. He's probably just angry you didn't let him die."
The two fell into silence, unsure of what to say.
"I thought he couldn't talk?"
Hiro looked up at the sound of Eiri's voice.
"He can't. At first, he just didn't want to talk. He would talk sometimes when he was angry or upset, but soon, it was as if he'd forgotten how to talk. What you heard today, that was the first thing he's said in ages. I've forgotten what his voice sounds like."
Eiri took a sip of his coffee and nearly burned his throat, but he ignored it. He wanted to do something other than just stand in this uncomfortable silence.
"Well. We should go back."
"Yeah."
They walked down the corridor still in silence, their footsteps echoed eerily and the place was nearly deserted. Only the odd nurse and someone visiting a friend walked past them.
When they got back to the small white room they found Suguru sitting on the chair and Shuichi lying down apparently asleep. Both were sitting in silence. Only the sound of breathing cut through the air. And if you listened closely, you could tell that Shuichi was not asleep, just faking it. But it was a clear sign that he wanted to be left alone for a bit.
Suguru stood as the two came through the door.
"We should get back, we've already missed loads of classes, and Eiri hasn't been to a single class since this happened. Come on, let's give Shuichi some peace."
He walked past Hiro and Eiri and out the door. Hiro followed after him. Eiri cast one last look at Shuichi before following, closing the door softly behind him.
When the door closed, a pair of dark eyes opened. Shuichi didn't move, just stared at the ceiling thinking. He was still slightly angry, but after what Suguru had said, he felt his anger subside slightly. He still longed for the blackness of death somewhat but...maybe...just maybe, with the help of Eiri, Hiro and Suguru he could get through this. He hoped so because a part of him, a very small part, didn't want to die yet. There were still many things he wanted to do.
He moved his wrist slightly and winced in pain. But it was a good pain; it was a pain that proved he was alive. He continued to twist his wrist slowly in small circles. He was probably doing some damage, but... he didn't care. He needed the pain, needed to see the blood.
He longed for something sharp...anything sharp. Just to do a few scratches. Maybe on his leg where no one would see. He just wanted to see the blood. There was something about seeing it, watching the bright red liquid stain his body. It made him feel better, in control.
He knew this was wrong, bad. He knew it was dangerous but he just couldn't help it. It was like asking a smoker to quit and not smoke a single cigarette for the rest of their lives after smoking 40 a day since they were 12. It just wasn't easy. It was an addiction in a way.
He closed his eyes angrily as he concentrated on the dull throb in his wrists. He would have to go back to see a psychiatrist. He hated those doctors. They tried to help you, pretended to be your friend. Most just treated him like a child, someone to be pitied and babied. He hated the way they talked down to him, the tone in their voice, indicating that they were better than him so he'd better listen. He hated it so much that it nearly stopped his thoughts of cutting himself again just so he could get away from them...almost. His life was full of don'ts whenever those doctors were involved. So he rebelled in the only way he could think of. His life really was a mess. He laughed inwardly at the mess he created.
His hand fell still, limp at his side. His mind wandered. He half wished Eiri, Hiro and Suguru would come back; one could die from boredom in hospital, if the food didn't kill you first that is.
He stared angrily at the spot of ceiling in front of him. He was definitely going to die of boredom soon.
oooooooooooooooooooooooooo
The day passed in a monotonous drone. Suguru was half asleep by the time class finished. He really hated lectures and that one had been pretty bad. All he wanted to do now was go back to his room, curl up on the couch and have a nice cup of hot chocolate. Yes, that sounded nice.
But first came dinner, so he followed Hiro into the cafeteria. They both ordered the food that looked edible and took a seat at a table already occupied by Eiri. None of them talked. There was only one topic on all their minds, and it wasn't easy to talk about it. It wasn't easy to get the words right in their own heads even. But Suguru had another thing on his mind. The conversation he'd over heard between Ayaka and Taki. It troubled him. But what could he do? Go to the police? No, he had no proof. Taki would get away with it and be madder than ever. Tell Eiri or Hiro? Definitely not, they'd kill him. Not that he cared for Taki's welfare, but he didn't need them becoming murderers. It would not help at all.
He continued to push his food around on his plate with his chopsticks. Sushi today, it was his favourite, but he just couldn't eat anything. He didn't notice Hiro watching him closely, or the smirk that crossed his face. He did however notice when the chopsticks were snatched out of his hands.
"HEY!" Hiro just smiled.
"Fuji-Chaaaaan, you should eat up." Hiro expertly used the chopsticks to pick up a bit of Suguru's sushi.
"Open up," Hiro said in a singsong voice as he moved the chopsticks closer to Suguru, making plane sounds. Suguru went very red and batted the chopsticks away, knocking both the chopsticks and the sushi onto the floor. He stood up quickly, still seething. You could practically see the steam coming out of his ears.
"STOP TREATING ME LIKE A CHILD! I'M QUITE CAPABLE OF FEEDING MYSELF!" He gave one great angry sigh and stormed out of the cafeteria, leaving a shocked Hiro and an amused Eiri.
"Well, what crawled up his ass and died?" the dark haired teen asked.
"PMT," muttered Eiri as he continued to eat his dinner, trying not to laugh.
Hiro just frowned and glared at where Suguru had been. Honestly, he had only been trying to lighten the mood. The way they were all acting you would think someone had died. Or maybe Hiro was just too used to being around Shuichi.
Eiri stood then, his dinner only half finished.
"I'll go after him. He might just bite your head off." Hiro glared even more.
ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Eiri searched all over the school for that baka and still he couldn't find him. He was starting to regret offering to look for Suguru. That boy was more trouble than he was worth sometimes. Eiri was just about to give up when he entered the library, and over a book, that was upside down, he could see a green head. He sat down opposite Suguru and waited for the boy to acknowledge him.
It took a few seconds but soon the book was set down on the table and closed with a gentle thump.
"So what's eating you?"
Suguru remained silent.
"Look I've known you since you were in diapers. You can't hide anything from me. Spill."
"It's nothing." Suguru muttered quietly. Eiri didn't look convinced and raised an eye brow.
"Uh huh, and you didn't just scream at Hiro in front of the whole cafeteria and then storm out. That was your identical twin who we've never met, right?
"Something like that."
Eiri rolled his eyes, Suguru was just so...impossible sometimes. It drove him crazy.
"I just...Ayaka...I never...FORGET IT!" Suguru yelled, as he stopped himself just in time from telling Eiri. He sounded angry with himself. Just as he was about to leave Eiri grabbed the boy's arm.
"What about Ayaka?" he said in a calm dangerous tone, anything to do with Ayaka was not good, and Eiri felt he deserved to know. After all, he was the one who had to deal with her for all those years. His grip tightened around Suguru's arm and the boy winced. Just thinking about Ayaka made him see red.
"Eiri...Eiri, your hurting me." It was then Eiri notice the hand on his, trying to pry strong fingers from around the small arm. And the expression on Suguru's face...fright. Eiri instantly looked down at the ground and had the good grace to look ashamed. He'd been gripping Suguru's arm a bit harder than need be and was sure the boy would probably have a hand shaped bruised wrapped around his arm in the morning.
"I'm sorry."
"That's ok. Don't worry about it. I shouldn't have tried to hide it from you...but...I don't want you doing anything stupid. Please, promise me if I tell you, you won't do anything stupid."
Eiri nodded, it was as good a promise Suguru would be getting.
"I over heard Ayaka talking to someone... By the sound of it, she's the one who asked him to attack Shuichi."
Eiri was on his feet so fast it was as if he'd been standing all along. His eyes darkened dangerously, his hands twitched as if he longed to hit something. Suguru backed away slightly. That was exactly why Suguru didn't want to tell Eiri.
"Who?" Eiri's voice was dangerously quiet. "Who did she get to do it?" His voice was so icy and dangerous that Suguru shivered.
"Taki...I...I don't know his first name...I...Eiri, wait!"
Eiri was now storming out of the library, hate waves radiated off him and people ran so fast out of his way the corridor was soon deserted. Suguru stood still for a second. Should he go get someone or should he follow Eiri?
"I'm gonna kill him. I'm gonna kill him," Eiri muttered as he stormed down the corridor.
"Eiri..." Suguru closed his eyes tight as if he could make all his troubles go away by doing so.
"EIRI!" he clenched his hands into fist and ran after the seething blond.
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Eiri was pissed. No he was beyond pissed, he was bloody murderous. He didn't know who he wanted to find first, that damn bitch Ayaka or that evil bastard Taki.
Oh yes, it would have to be Taki. Taki was one of those people who thought way too much of himself and was filled with his own self importance. His fists clenched and he gave a mean, slightly mad laugh. Only utter hate drove him now. He ignored the pleading of the green-haired boy following him.
"Eiri, please stop. You promised. THIS ISN'T GOING TO HELP! EIRI!"
They were now in the cafeteria. Eiri looked around for the familiar group of three men. He'd never liked them much, they were loud, rude and bullies. He'd always longed for an excuse to do something about them, and this was perfect. He spotted them then; all three of them sitting around the table, directly in the middle of the room, laughing and joking, being as loud as ever.
He was just about to walk towards their table when a warm, heavy something latched into his arm. Suguru may not look it, but he was pretty strong.
"Eiri, stop and think for a second please. This isn't going to help Shuichi. PLEASE!"
Eiri was beyond pissed now. How could Suguru do that, how could Suguru defend that evil son of a bitch, stop Eiri from giving Taki what he so rightly deserved. He was now so angry at Suguru and everyone else he was beyond reason. He longed to hit the boy who clung desperately to his arm trying to stop him.
Both were so preoccupied they didn't notice the eyes of everyone on them, and the fact that the place had gone so silent their voiced echoed.
"Let. Go." It was a warning, his voice showing his anger, eyes flashing. Suguru shook his head.
Hiro watched all this in a state of alarm. Eiri looked ready to kill, and Suguru was clinging to the blonde's arm for dear life.
"Please don't. Please!" the green-haired teen kept shouting.
By now dinner had been forgotten. Some people had run out in alarm. Some people were now watching the scene play out in front of them. But the look on Eiri face scared Hiro the most. The way his fist trembled, Eiri looked frightening. But that wasn't what scared him, he was scared for Suguru, he was scared that the younger boy would get hurt. And the thought of Suguru getting hurt, of another friends getting hurt, made him ache.
Eiri by now had lost his cool. His whole body shook with rage.
"GET OFF ME, YOU STUPID LITTLE BOY!"
Eiri shook his arm, hard. He lifted Suguru about two feet off the ground, then threw him into a table. There was a crack as Suguru's body hit the table, and a small gasp from the boy. Then his body fell to the ground with a thump. There was a collective gasp from the student body, and a few girls even screamed and dashed away in fright.
"SUGURU!" Hiro screamed, just as the boy his the floor. Hiro's chest clenched painfully as he watched the boy's body hit the table then the floor. He was at the green-haired teen side before anyone had a chance to react.
"Suguru? SUGURU? Are you ok?" He shook the boys shoulder slightly, and smiled when he realized the boy hadn't passed out. He was just a bit dazed. He looked up at Hiro with tears of pain in his eye. Hiro gently helped the boy sit up and Suguru leaned against him as a wave of nausea hit him.
Eiri stared in horror at what he'd done. Suguru wasn't hurt seriously. In fact apart from feeling slightly sick and bruised, he was fine. But he could have hurt him badly and Eiri suddenly felt sick. He sat down weakly into the nearest chair, his thoughts of killing Taki momentarily forgotten.
Hiro was still sitting on the floor next to Suguru, both arms wrapped around the boy gently to support him.
"Are you ok?" he asked again. Slightly more calm than the first time, now he knew Suguru wasn't hurt badly.
Suguru didn't say anything at first, just looked up at Hiro. Then, unexpectedly he smiled. A broad grin that spread all over his face and made him seemingly to light up.
"You called me, Suguru."
Hiro looked slightly surprised and confused for a second, before it suddenly clicked. He had indeed called Suguru by his given name, shouted it in fact.
"Yeah, sorry about that." he smiled sheepishly.
Suguru shook his head, still smiling.
"I liked it."
Hiro felt Suguru might have bumped his head harder than he thought, but he decided to ignore it for now and concentrate on getting Suguru to his dorm room and getting him to rest.
He looked up then and spotted Eiri, looking slightly pale and not quite so angry. But Hiro felt it hard to feel any pity for the pale looking blond.
"What do you think you were doing!" It was Hiro's turn to be raving mad.
"I'm sorry," he whispered, "I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you. I'm sorry."
Hiro still felt angry and wasn't about to forgive him so easily. He was shocked however when Suguru spoke and no trace of anger was in his voice.
"It's ok, Eiri. At least I got you to stop. Please, just think about what your actions could mean. Especially to Shuichi. It won't help him if you end up in prison." Eiri nodded and muttered sorry again.
Hiro pulled Suguru to his feet and half carried, half dragged him out of the cafeteria and towards the building that held their dorms.
"Don't be angry at, Eiri." Hiro's eyes widened even more. Surely Suguru wasn't about to defend Eiri.
"He was just a little mad. I told him something I shouldn't have. It's not his fault. It's mine. Please don't be angry."
"Just because he was angry at you, doesn't give him a reason to hurt you!" Hiro said outraged.
"He wasn't mad at me; I told him something...that got him mad at someone else. And I had to stop him, I had to get in the way. If his anger had been allowed to run its full course then he probably would have killed him."
"Killed who?"
"It doesn't matter...I'll tell you later. I think I need to lie down right now." Hiro nodded and continued to lead Suguru down the hall.
They arrived at Suguru's dorm pretty quickly. As soon as they got to it, Hiro lead Suguru to the bedroom and sat him down on the edge of the bed (nothing's going to happen yet you perverts, sorry). He helped Suguru take his shoes off and then made the boy lie down.
"Get some rest now ok." Suguru nodded and snuggled into his pillows hugging them. Then, he closed his eyes with a sigh.
'How cute!' Hiro smiled to himself.
Hiro went over to the window and drew the curtains tightly, making sure not even the smallest ray of light could get though.
"I'll wait in the living room for a bit in case you need me, ok?" he whispered. Suguru nodded sleepily but gave no other reply.
Hiro sat on the sofa but didn't turn the TV on; he stared at the black screen. He didn't know why he stayed really. Suguru was quite fine. But he couldn't help but worry about the teen. He tried to act older than his years, but Suguru was still so small and the youngest in the building. Hiro couldn't help but worry.
ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Eiri was pacing his room and he only did this when he was really mad or really stuck on an idea. Right now it was the former. He longed to lash out at something, but every time he thought of beating Taki to a bloody pulp Suguru would come to his mind.
"...it won't help him if you end up in prison"
Eiri punched his fist into the palm of his other hand. Damn that brat always being right. He knew that beating Taki wouldn't help Shuichi. It would make him feel a hell of a lot better though.
Eiri continued to pace. He had to do something about Taki, though. He couldn't stay around, not with Shuichi here. Eiri didn't want to risk another run in with Taki. Shuichi might just end up actually killing himself. But what could he do. He had to do something, for Shuichi, he wouldn't let that bastard Taki get to him again. Not if his life depended on it.
He stalked to the door full of determination, he would get rid of Taki somehow, and he wouldn't go to jail either.
oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Taki lounged on the sofa staring into space. Ma-kun was in his room doing homework, Taki could hear the scratching of the pen, and Ken had gone to the library. Taki didn't have the TV on or anything. He wanted to give Ma-kun some peace.
He thought again of the look on Yuki's face in the cafeteria and shuddered. He knew Yuki of course; it was because of Ayaka that Yuki currently wanted his head on a silver platter. Taki sighed again, he really got himself into some messed up situations. He laughed to himself.
He was a real idiot sometimes. He didn't even know why he was doing this, it was all Ayaka's fault damn it. He wasn't really going to rape the pink haired idiot just scare him, but not rape. Was he? He couldn't really be sure. He had to admit the boy was very cute.
Taki shook his head. This was stupid. He didn't know why he was worrying so much. He was just about to go to his room when there was a knock on the door. Taki glared at the door; surely Ken hadn't forgotten his key? Wait the door wasn't even locked. Was it? He shrugged.
He open the door prepared to give the normally organized Ken a lecture, he rarely got a chance to annoy Ken about anything like this so he was going to enjoy it. But it wasn't Ken at the door. Taki backed away slowly into the room.
"What do you want?" he shouted at the towering blond. He could almost feel the anger radiate off him, even though the blonde's expression was calm. As Taki backed away, he strode into the room shutting the door behind him.
"Hello. Taki." He took a few quick steps and was standing right in front of the scared brunette. Taki gulped as Yuki grabbed the neck of his shirt and lifted him up a few feet before throwing him onto the sofa.
"Now, you're going to sit there nice and quiet and listen to me. Maybe then I won't kill you." Taki sat in a nervous silence. Yuki was still smiling sinisterly, looking as if he'd strangle Taki to death at any moment.
"Now I know it was you who attacked Shuichi." Yuki looked angry now, very angry, golden eyes had darkened so much they looked brown.
"So you have one option, you will leave this University, transfer, drop out of school, I don't care. But you will leave, and you will never go near Shuichi again. Understood?"
After getting over the initial shock, Taki was getting a bit braver, and also mad.
"What makes you think I'll leave just because you said so?"
Yuki smiled again.
"If you leave, I won't kill you."
Taki shuddered. Yuki didn't look like he was joking, but Taki wasn't one to be pushed around. He stood up, his bravery growing by the second.
"I have no idea what you're talking about anyway. Now leave before I get the University's security up here." Taki was standing by the door now. He was just about to open it when Yuki grabbed his shoulder and shoved him sharply into the wall. Taki gave a gasp of pain but looked Yuki straight in the eye.
"Now that was a stupid move," Yuki growled. He raised his fist and with all his might threw it at Taki. Taki closed his eyes tightly ready for the impact, but none came. There was a thud and a cracking sound. Yuki had punched the wall and the plaster was now falling away around his fist. There was a small dent in the wall too.
"I don't want you near Shuichi. Do you know what you drove him too? He nearly killed himself. I should do to you what he did to himself. Do you know what he did? He slit both his wrist, so deep they wouldn't stop bleeding even when I covered them with a makeshift bandage. Or maybe I should do that to someone you love, so you can see them in a pool of their own blood, slowly dieing. How would that make you feel, huh? Or do you not feel anything? Is it only yourself you care about? You just use people as a means to get what you want, and stuff the consequences."
Taki shuddered. Yuki sounded serious, and Taki was scared now. An image of Ma-kun, lying on the ground, covered in blood came to his mind and he couldn't get rid of it. Yuki was still talking but he couldn't make out the words.
"Hey, what the hell is going on?" Ma-kun came out of his room, a look of surprise on his face. He spotted Yuki and Taki standing near the door.
"Let him go," he said calmly to Yuki as he strode over to where the two stood. Yuki sneered.
"I'm trying to teach your friend a lesson. Please don't get involved unless you want to get hurt."
Ma-kun frowned.
"Let him go now!" Ma-kun made to run and attack Yuki but the tall blond was faster. One punch in the stomach immobilized Ma, another punch to the face sent the boy flying backwards.
Ma-kun sat up, blood flowing from his nose. It looked broken. Taki blanched, feeling sick.
"Leave him alone!" Taki yelled as Yuki made to continue the fight the Ma-kun. "He had nothing to do with it, leave him alone!"
Yuki smiled, as if he'd just found out something to his advantage. He looked from Ma-kun to Taki. Taki was shaking and Ma-kun looked confused. Yuki looked satisfied, as if he knew victory was within reach. But it was Ma-kun who spoke first.
"Taki, what the hell have you done now? You stupid idiot" His angry gaze focused on his friend, the blood still running down his face, his words slurred slightly because of his broken nose.
Yuki moved back to stand in front of Taki, and whispered so only he could hear.
"Three days, three days to pack and get the hell out of here, or else it won't be just a broken nose that your friend gets away with next time. Understand?" Taki nodded still shaking slightly. Yuki patted his shoulder.
"I never want to see you again." And Yuki left. Taki slid down the wall and landed on the floor in a heap. Ma-kun still sat where he'd fallen, glaring at Taki.
"So? Are you going to tell me what got that guy so pissed?"
Taki looked at the ground and told his friend in a monotone whisper. Ma-kun sat in a stunned silence and then punched him. Taki just sat there and let him, feeling a trickle of blood fall from his mouth.
"I'm sorry, Ma-kun."
"It's not me you should be apologizing to!" Taki looked up at his friend who now sat in front of him. Blood now stained the front of his shirt and his chin and lips. Taki reached out and cupped the others cheek.
"Does hurt?"
"Like a bitch, but I'll live." Taki's hand dropped and he stood, holding out his hand to help Ma-kun up.
"We should get you to a hospital."
"Nah it's ok. I don't think it's broken, just bruised." Ma-kun held out his hand and Taki pulled him to his feet.
"I'm gonna clean up." Taki just nodded mutely.
oooooooooooooooooooooooo
Ma-kun soon came out of the bathroom, face clean, pinching his nose to stop the bleeding. Now that he'd cleaned his face Taki could see an angry purple bruise start to form. The bruise spread over his nose and left eye. It was a miracle his nose hadn't been broken. But judging by the way he winced every now and then, it hurt just as much.
"So, what are you going to do?" Ma-kun asked seriously. Taki sighed.
"I don't know... I don't see why should listen to that bastard." His old arrogance was back in his voice. Ma-kun sighed. Taki was way too arrogant, but he was also his friend as well, mores the pity. And no matter what Taki did, he would be there for him.
'What am I getting myself into?'
Ma-kun, unlike Taki wasn't stupid and knew when to give up. Taki however was too arrogant for his own good and did not like being bossed about. Yuki would have to bodily throw him out of the university...if he didn't kill him first.
Ma-kun sighed; he needed to think of a way to get Taki to leave. He'd even go with him to make sure he stayed away from Eiri Yuki. Yuki was scary, Ma-kun decided. He'd seen the glint in the taller man's eye, pure loathing shone there and a thirst for revenge. Not that Ma-kun could really blame him.
But he had to protect Taki, he just had too. Even though Taki was the world greatest and most hated bastard, he loved him. Ma-kun shook his head, realizing he'd zoned out and Taki was now staring at him questioningly.
"You ok?" Taki said, actually sounding concerned.
"Fine...but we need to leave. Transfer I think. Yes...it would be best."
Taki looked outraged at first, then Ma-kun's word sang into his brain.
"We...?"
Ma-kun smiled, or at least tried to as he was still pinching his nose, and it hurt to even talk.
"You didn't think I'd let you go on your own did you? Who knows what would happen to you."
Taki grinned. Ma-kun and Ken were the only people who Taki was nice too. They were also the only people who could deal with his overly large ego.
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Hiro had fallen asleep on the sofa for lack of anything better to do. He didn't put on the TV because he didn't want to disturb Suguru and he didn't have his bag with him, so no book or even homework to do. And so that's how Suguru found him, curled up on the sofa, his wild hair floating everywhere.
Suguru kneeled in front of the sofa and brushed the hair from Hiro's face.
"Thank you," Suguru whispered and kissed Hiro gently on the forehead. He stood then, blushing furiously and went to the little kitchen area to get something to eat.
'I can't believe I just did that! Thank God he didn't wake up.' Suguru let out the breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding and tried to calm his pounding heart. Which was currently trying to fight its was through his rib cadge and up his throat at the same time.
Suguru took a few deep breaths before grabbing a can of soda and a pack of crisps (or chips if you're American).
Suguru went back to the living area and frowned. He had nowhere to sit. Hiro was occupying the only sitting place he had. Suguru sighed. Looks like he'd have to sit on the floor then. Suguru made himself as comfy as he could, his back to the sofa, and he began to eat his snack.
He stopped when a hand moved lazily through his hair. Looking up Suguru saw a sleepy Hiro, now awake sitting up and smiling at him.
"You could have just woken me up if you wanted to sit down, you know? It's your dorm room."
Suguru smiled. "I didn't want to wake you." Suguru stood and sat on the bit of sofa Hiro had cleared for him. Suguru suddenly realized how small the two-seater sofa was. Hiro was so close he could feel the warmth radiating off him.
"So where's my snack?"
"Oh, I'm sorry. I'll get you one now!" Glad for a reason to get up, Suguru dashed to the kitchen and returned with a drink and bag of crisp/chips for Hiro. Hiro was laughing.
"You know, I was only kidding. No need to get yourself all wound up." Suguru tried to glare at Hiro as he sat down, but it was hard to glare at someone who was laughing so happily. Suguru threw the bag of crisps at Hiro and they caught him on the side of the head.
"Well I got them for you so you can damn well eat them." Hiro grinned and obeyed.
"When will Shuichi be allowed out of the hospital?" Suguru asked.
"Next week if everything goes ok." Hiro sounded relieved. "But he'll probably have to go see a physiatrist again." Hiro frowned at this. He hated those doctors. They were so damn annoying and acted as if they knew everything.
"But don't worry. Shuichi will be ok. We'll make sure of that," he turned to Suguru and gave him a little wink. "Right?"
Suguru nodded.
"Right!"
ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Eiri was now tidying the room. He'd let it get into a hell of a mess when Shuichi had been in hospital, and the boy would be back soon. Shuichi couldn't come back to a pigsty. He winced every now and then as his hand gave a dull throb, as if scolding him for doing something as stupid as punching a wall.
He looked at his fist, it was grazed slightly, not bleeding but it was starting to go purple. He glared at it. Damn that stupid bastard. He continued to tidy up, still glowering angrily at various inanimate objects.
After tidying the living room, Eiri moved to the bedroom. This area was tidier, but not by much. After clearing his desk, Eiri noticed his laptop. It was still on and had been on since last night. He was just about to shut it off when he noticed what document was open. It was the one that he'd written when he'd come back from the hospital for the first time. It was extremely strange to him. It wasn't a story, more like a poem.
He stared at the words, trying to get them to make some sort of sense. He sighed as he closed the document and then shut the computer down. He really did write some stupid things when he was worried. And he'd been particularly worried that night. No, scratch than, he'd been scared to death.
He had the vaguest memory of typing something; his fingers seemed to move with a life of their own as his brain was lost in thought. Eiri was just about to delete the document, but he stopped. Something was telling him not to, even though he had no idea what to do with it. It certainly wasn't suitable for any book he was currently writing. Eiri sighed and closed the document and shut down the machine. Eiri continued to tidy up, humming a Nittle Grasper song to himself. It was something that he had sworn never to do, but after listening to them non-stop at Shuichi's bed side, it was kinda hard not to.
oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Suguru was very reluctant to let Hiro go, but he could think of no good excuse to make the older teen stay. He thought for a moment, to complain about his bruises, make the pain seem worst than it was. Hiro would stay then, he knew, but he just couldn't face the guilt of making the tall man sleep on his sofa. It was definitely was not a suitable bed for anyone, anything, in any size, shape or form.
So, reluctantly, Suguru watched the older teen leave. Hiro walked with a spring in his step. Happy. Suguru watched his every move, watched the way the long hair danced around his broad back.
Suguru longed to call him back, longed to hug him, hold him and never let go.
Hiro had long since disappeared around a corner, out of sight, but most definitely not out of mind. Suguru thought of him all the time. Every thought he had that wasn't about him, turned to him somehow. Suguru thought the most of what he could never have, for it was still clear to him Hiro still loved K.
He still refused to go to English classes, and on Suguru's request, more like clever nagging, Hiro was looking at other subject to replace it. None had caught his attention yet. At least none that his parents would approve of anyway.
Suguru didn't realize he was crying until his vision began to blur. Suguru brushed away the wetness gently, as if testing it was really there. The moment his fingers touched the tear trails, he could hold the tears no longer. He slid to the floor and let the full stream of tears loose, like a great dam finally breaking.
No sobs escaped his throat though. His cries were silent, unnoticed. Like him.
Once he was sure they had slowed down, he brushed away at the trickles angrily. He quickly walked inside and shut the door with a snap. He didn't want anyone to see him like this.
Suguru walked over to the sofa and collapsed on it. He could still faintly smell Hiro's aftershave lingering in the air. He breathed it in and smiled. He was being was too emotionally lately.
ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Shuichi wanted to scream. He wanted to punch smoothing. Hell, he'd even be glad to have a doctor to shout at. But no, all he had were the white walls. He slammed his head into the pillows repeatedly.
He was so bored! He wanted to go home.
But, where was home? He had no home. He didn't belong anywhere.
A memory of Eiri flashed in his mind, the feel of Eiri's arms wrapped around him, his smell. Shuichi sighed.
He also thought of Hiro, who had done so much for him, and Suguru who always seemed to have great advice.
He remembered the speech Suguru had given him.
'Don't let the fear win'
These words still ran through his mind. He didn't want to let his fear win, but he was weak and his pain was so strong. It was easier said than done.
oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Suguru wanted someone to talk to. It was ok being the one who gave advice to people, but where did the advice giver go for advice? He shook his head.
Tatsuha was out of the question. He could be serious, to an extent, but Suguru just couldn't cope with him right now. Plus, Hiro might overhear. Eiri had his own problems. There was Hikari, but Suguru felt he didn't know her well enough to unload his problems onto her.
Then it hit him. He'd go visit Shuichi. Even if he couldn't talk, they could keep each other company. Suguru was sure Shuichi was probably dieing of boredom.
So, he grabbed his jacket and headed for the hospital. He hoped Shuichi wouldn't mind a visitor.
ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
There was still an hour left of visiting hours by the time Suguru arrived at the hospital. He had stopped on the way to buy a new pad of paper and pen for Shuichi. He'd noticed that the one Shuichi normally used was looking full.
He'd bought the pen just for the sake of it. It was a nice pen and wrote smoothly.
After getting lost five times and ending up on the maternity ward at one point, Suguru finally arrived at Shuichi's room. He knocked on the door, to alert the boy that someone was coming in, he the opened the door slowly.
"Mind if I come in?" Shuichi was sitting up in bed, a relieved expression on his face. He shook his head and motioned Suguru to sit down. The green-haired teen smiled.
"Here, I got this for you." Suguru handed the pen and writing pad over. Shuichi looked delighted and he quickly scribbled a note.
'Thank you.'
Suguru smiled.
"No problem. I noticed a while ago that you'd need a new one soon." Shuichi gave a small smile and waited for Suguru to say more, or explain why he was there.
He was quiet for a while, both teens just staring blankly into the distance.
"Shuichi, do you have someone you love?"
The pink-haired boy looked surprised and blushed pink for a moment as he thought. He thought of his family, of his friends...and...of Eiri. Slowly, he nodded.
Suguru smiled.
"Have you ever loved someone and not been able to tell them?" Shuichi shook his head.
'I can just write it down'
Suguru laughed at the little note, and how naïve the boy could be.
"No, I mean when you love someone, in that way. In a way when you always want to be with them, want to kiss them and hold them, do you understand what I mean?" Shuichi nodded. Thinking of Eiri again, he blushed.
'Who do you love?'
Suguru read the note, but gave no reply.
"It's so hard to tell them, when they love someone else. When all they feel for you is friendship...when," he sobbed, "when they can't even see you because they're blinded by the love they hold for someone who doesn't feel the same." Suguru felt the tears run down his cheeks again and felt ashamed of himself.
Shuichi leaned forward and gently stroked Suguru's hair, trying to comfort him. Suguru cried silently, saying nothing. Shuichi gently stroking his hair, the touch was soft and gentle, like a mother comforting a child.
"Gomen, your problems are greater than mine. I shouldn't be bothering you with my petty problems."
Shuichi shook his head and wrote something down.
'It's good to talk about how you feel. I'm glad you trust me enough to tell me. Thank you.'
"Thank you, Shuichi." Suguru wiped his cheeks viciously, getting rid of the wet trails. Shuichi wrote something else.
'You should tell Hiro how you feel.'
"NANI!" Suguru jumped out of his chair as he read that. His face was now as red as a tomato.
"How...I mean...what makes you think it's Hiro?" Suguru tried to put on an air of innocence and disbelief, but he failed miserably. He sat back down still red.
'It's not that hard to see. Hiro's just being an idiot.'
Suguru blushed redder.
"I can't."
'Don't let the fear win!'
Suguru blanched slightly then smiled weakly, holding back a laugh at that. To have his own words thrown back at him was rather uncomfortable and embarrassing, but also quite funny. He smiled at Shuichi.
"I'll make a promise with you." Shuichi sat up straighter, curious.
"I'll gather all my courage and one day tell Hiro my feelings, if you promise to try and get better and never scare us like that again."
Shuichi nodded slowly, not sure if he could keep the promise, but he sure would try. Try for his friends. Suguru seemed to realize this too. He knew he was asking a lot from Shuichi.
"And if you ever need anyone to talk to, you can come and unload any of your problems onto me, and I won't complain no matter how silly they are, ok!" He smiled and Shuichi nodded.
They talked about various things after that, playing hangman and listening to Shuichi's CDs. The hour flew by and Shuichi didn't want Suguru to leave, but the nurse was a very fearsome one and not even Eiri could have charmed her into letting him stay.
Suguru said goodbye to Shuichi and left, looking apologetic. But Shuichi was happier now. Suguru had also bought him a little puzzle book. Shuichi wouldn't be so bored now, after all.
oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
By the time Suguru left the too familiar building, it was dark and cold. He tugged his coat tighter around his body and walked faster. There were still buses running at this time, but after digging through his pocket Suguru found he didn't have change so he decided to walk. The walk would do him good anyway; help blow the cobwebs from his mind.
The walk from the hospital wouldn't be a long one. If he took all the short cuts and walked quickly he would be home within forty minutes. The autumn breeze blew, carrying the multicoloured leaves with it in a waltz like dance.
The wind tugged at his green hair as he walked, much like the way it tugged at the blades of grass on the ground. He could feel his face turn pink from the slight chill. He tugged his jacket tighter around his body, tugging at the collar and trying to get it to cover his face. Yet the wind still blew right through his clothes, its icy fingers pinching him. He cursed the thin material of the jacket and muttered darkly to himself.
He'd only been walking about ten minutes when he felt it, the slow creeping sensation of eye burning into his back. It made him shiver. The hairs on the back of his neck stood on end. He could feel someone staring at him.
A sea of people jostled around him. Looking around he could not see anyone he recognized. He shook his head and brushed the strange feeling off as his imagination. But he still walked quicker, tugging his coat tighter around his small frame. There was no chance anyone was following him, no chance anyone was watching him. It was nonsense. He scoffed at his tired brain playing cruel tricks on him.
ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
A man stood in the shadow of the many buildings, his eyes trained on a head of familiar green hair. He smiled softly as he watched the boy walk. He did not follow him; he made no move to follow him. He only let his eyes follow the boy. The man was no different to the other people in the town, at first glance anyway, and everyone merely walked past him, ignoring him as well as they ignore everyone else, too busy with their own task to concentrate on one man.
But there was something strange about the man. His smile was cold and distant, his eyes were hollow and held no sparkle or any sign of like. He merely stood there, watching as the teen vanished from his sight.
"It's been a long time, hitorimusuko."
Only the wind and cold building heard his whisper.
oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
hitorimusuko - only son
Angelic Scars: Well there you have it, chapter 12! Arnt you happy with me Ok...bad news...chapter 13 probly wont be up untill near or after christmas, see...i haven written it yet ;
Reader: (all ready with pitch forks and rotten fruit)
Angelic Scars: eeek, please dont hurt me! (runs and hides)
Muse-chan: ok you like it, REVIEW, you dont like it, REVIEW (is packing her bags) im going on my christmas holidays now, Ja.
Angelic Scars: Muse chan be nice. Please review The next chapter will get written soon, i promise.