(Disclaimer: Wow. Just, wow. I have seriously never written anything this long. It's all thanks to Masato Kishimoto. Naruto is not mine. Masato Kishimoto's soul is. Yes people, I did buy his soul,not on E-bay, but on Amazon. HA! I WIN!)

Chapter 14...

As the stitched man opened his leather (fake) wallet to pay the cashier, he saw two familiar figures step in the store from the corner of his inverted eyes. He quickly put the money down on the table and hid his wallet inside his pocket. Deidara was the first to notice. The blond waved and jogged over to him.

"Kakuzu, un! We're here to save you, un!" He called out loud. The older nin opened his mouth to reply, but one, well-manicured hand covered his mouth, silencing him. Masato then took his hands from Kakuzu's mouth, but he still couldn't speak. The stitched man felt his lips to find that Pinky had put duct tape over it.

"I like, totally know you," Masato said with a deadly tone. His once ugly panda-looking makeup was now all gone, revealing his true face that, quite frankly, looked very normal. His eyes were burning hateful flames as he glared at Deidara. He pointed an accusing finger at him and continued, "You soooo like, totally stole my like, boyfriend that one night!"

Deidara's jaws dropped as he cried, "WHAAAAAAAAAAT, UN???!" He turned to Sasori for some kind of aid, but he only shook his head at the blond disappointingly.

"Deidara, I never really thought you were the type."

"I'm NOT, un!"

"Oh, stop denying. Besides Itachi, you're the most feminine looking out of all of us."

"Well...y-you and Itachi are bishi's, un! So doesn't that count as looking 'feminine', un?!"

"No, that just means he and I are beautiful men, though I'm prettier. There's a difference from looking gay and looking extremely hot."

As the two artists argued, Kakuzu was busying himself by trying to un-duct tape his lips. It was stuck like super glue (not glue, 'super' glue). Then, he noticed Masato rummaging through his little poodle purse, looking for something. Pinky took out a piece of blank paper and pen and started writing something on it. That was when the stitched man noticed something was wrong. A dim, smoky light was surrounding the younger man's hands. The smoke of light grew bigger and bigger while it formed itself into a shape of a bow and arrow. That doesn't look too good...

Kakuzu used the threads in his mouth to tear the duct tape from the sticky side. It worked and the tape ripped loudly off. He felt the burning sensation of the tape pulling at his sensitive skin and the tiny hairs around his mouth. Someone screamed and yelled at the sight with fear, but the stitched man ignored them. Kakuzu lifted one of his arms and aimed at Masato. He curled his hand into a fist and fired.

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The shark man swung his Samehada down and smashed the concrete beneath. The ground shook and a gloved hand popped out. It snatched Kisame's ankle and it tried to drag him down with it, but he kicked it off of him quickly and backed off. A figure emerged from the ground like Samara (The Ring)and glared at him with fiery orange eyes. The shark man's yellow orbs glared back and he felt his whole body shake with excitement.

"I see you're a worthy opponent," Kisame complimented, "I don't think I've had this much fun since I fought Zabuza-san."

"I'm quite honored," the other replied. He stood almost as tall as Kisame, but he had an afro so he seemed a bit taller. His light blue raincoat was caked with soil, plus some worms clung to his shoulders. "I've heard that he is quite a swordsman. Or I should say, he was." The afro man made a small cross across his chest with his finger.

"By the way...," the shark man paused and questioned his opponent. "Why are you wearing a raincoat?" The afro man puffed out his chest proudly and snapped his raincoat open like Superman. Underneath revealed a nice black tuxedo, bow tie, cummerbund, and everything. He tossed his coat off to the side and grinned, his teeth blindingly white.

"I was on my way to my friend's wedding," the afro man explained, "but my little bro called me up, saying that he needed my help. How can I decline my beloved younger sibling's request for my assistance?"

"In more ways than I can imagine...," Kisame muttered under his breath, thinking about how Itachi described the way he tortured his "beloved" little sibling. He did pity the poor lad, but it wasn't his problem. The shark man mentally shrugged and turned his attention back to the afro man. "I'm guessing you and your brothers are from the Village of the Hidden Stone?"

"Quite right, quite right," he replied. "How did you know?"

"My sharky-senses tingled," Kisame continued. "So maybe you guys are familiar with Deidara-san?"

That instant, a giant fist was flying towards him, hiding his field of vision. Kisame just barely moved out of the way, the fist scratching the surface of his cheek. With a loud crash, the ex-Hidden Mist nin felt the earth shake underneath him as he leaped to a safe distance away from the afro man. Kisame saw the other's forearm completely embedded into the ground, and the said ground had huge cracks and holes everywhere. The afro man pulled his arm out and tried to dust the mud off of his tuxedo sleeve.

"Aw man," he grumbled, "and I just had this dry-cleaned." He then turned back to Kisame and glared at him. "How do you know that bastard, huh? Did he find himself a new lover?"

"Eh?" The shark man was utterly confused. "What are you talking about?"

"He's the one," the afro man said with a shaky fist, "that stole my little brother's boyfriend!"

There was a moment of complete silence. Kisame's voice cracked as he broke it.

"Your brother's gay?"

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Itachi decided that it was cool to leave his teammates to fight the three random attackers and suffer while he went to the dango shop to eat. He noticed the sky was turning light pink, his shadow stretching out longer. The shop close around five. He'd better hurry. The hungry prodigy picked up the pace while he felt his pockets for his leather (fake) wallet. Then, he halted. Itachi patted his front and back pockets and found nothing.

Kakuzu, that bastard...he stole my damn money, the Uchiha silently fumed. He turned on his heels and sprinted back where he came from so he could get his cheap wallet back and to kick Kakuzu's ass. Hard.

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Pinky, at first, thought it was better to attack the one who had stolen his boyfriend first, and then killing the one he and his brothers came for second. He did owe the older stitched nin one, for Kakuzu went through the pain of shopping with a shopaholic. It was the least he could do.

Until that ex-Hidden Falls shinobi punched him in the face. Baaaaaad move.

Masato's body went flying in the air, his chakra bow and arrow fading away like dust. He slammed into a basket of hangers and purses with a crash. Kakuzu retracted his arm back and dashed towards where Pinky fell (er...crashed). Then, with a ear-shattering scream, a woman who was standing near Masato squirted out blood from...well, everywhere. She litterally fell to pieces, leaving chunks of her flesh and a large pool of blood. Kakuzu instantly recognized the cause and retreated back, reuniting with the two Akatsuki artists. Sasori's eyes were open wide while Deidara's jaws dropped, both members speechless.

"Wh-wha-...the hell happened, un?" The blond stammered. "Th-that chick just like...was chopped into pieces, un!"

"We all saw that," the redhead said, "but what did that kid just do?" Both artists turned to Kakuzu who was watching Masato stand up and dust his clothes. Pinky's once friendly-yet-gay expression was now completely gone. It was colder than ice and murderous looking, like a real hunter-nin. A real monster. Masato slowly lifted his visage to face the three and pretended to smile sweetly like before, but it looked as menacing as his white-hot glare, filled with hate. He grinned to show rows and rows of pointed teeth that weren't there before. A real monster.

"You're all are like, so totally dead," he giggled.

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Author: Chappy 14! Hurray! I rushed, but I finished it! FINISSEZ! YAAAAAAAAY!!!

Deidara: I'm not gay...un

Sasori: Keep on denying Deidara

Deidara: But I'm not, Danna, un! Believe in me, un!

Kakuzu: What the hell? You made me take Itachi's filthy wallet?!

Itachi: It's not filthy

Kakuzu: Prove it

Itachi: Your mom will prove it...

Kisame: Itachi-san! Stop it with the "Your Mom" come backs. It's seriously getting old

Deidara: I wonder why we can't say "Your Dad" come backs, or "Your Auntie" come backs, un

Sasori: They aren't as interesting

Hidan: I think I'm gonna cry...I still haven't appeared...(cries)

Tobi: Aw, Hidan-senpai, don't cry...(takes out tissue)

Hidan: Jashin-sama! What did I ever do to deserve such punishment?!

Itachi: You were born

Hidan: Kakuzu! Can I use this Uchiha kid for my next sacrifice?

Kakuzu: Knock yourself out

Kisame: No! Leader-san will cut my payment!

Itachi: Is that the only reason why he shouldn't kill me...? (activates Sharingan)

Kisame: Er...(hides behind Author) MEAT SHEILD!

Author: WHAAAAAAAAT???!