A/N - This is sort of a continuation from the chapter 'Never easy' same themes, enjoy!

We all teach we all learn

An adolescent male walked briskly through the ancient halls he knew so well, his well-used brown cloak billowing in his purposeful wake. The young man's pace increased as he neared his intended location, approached the very reason why he was out of bed so very late into the night. A plea from a friend.

Obi-Wan moved swiftly past flowing streams and crashing fountains as he zeroed in on said friend's location, Siri's location. His breath caught in his throat as soon as he caught sight of her even whilst knowing that it should not. She sat hunched over one of the main beauty spots in the room, her blonde hair had been let loose for a change which showed just how long it had grown since he had last laid eyes upon her, showed just how long they had been apart.

He slowed his pace as soon as he saw her wanting to at least have the chance to sense her mood, perhaps have some time to prepare his next move. It was obvious to him that Siri was not herself as she sat there crouched, her body language shrieked of dejectedness and the few emotions he could sense from behind her usual rock-solid shields were one's of immense grief. Something awful had happened.

Obi-Wan frowned over the feelings he had never once seen Siri this way and it worried him, she was always so strong but now… He mentally shook his head free from that train of thought, that line of thinking would not help Siri in the slightest and that was what she so evidently needed right now. Help, or more specifically his help. The only question that mattered then remained, What had happened to cause Siri this much pain? This much distress?

"Siri."

At hearing his voice she flinched, visibly reaching for her saber hilt only to lock eyes with his and recognise there was no threat present. Her hand fell away from her side to land heavily in her lap and Obi-Wan was once again puzzled by how disheartened she appeared as her head whipped away from his. When there was no response Obi-Wan moved forward to join her by the river, as he lowered himself down he caught a glimpse of tear tracks on her cheeks. Siri of course wiped at her face fiercely not willing to be caught in such a compromising position, she had always been so very defensive.

He took her visibly trembling hands in his own, gripping lightly to stop her from rubbing her own face raw. She was forced to look up into his eyes as he refused to let go, not wanting to lose the one chance of connection he saw. When their eyes locked again Obi-Wan almost recoiled, he saw such agony in those eyes, untold misery and pain from an event so harrowing that the scars ran so deeply. He gulped as he caught a glimpse of how haunted she looked, how dead she looked.

"What has happened?" He asked the inevitable question in a tone not much above a whisper, seeing her in such a state had clearly rattled his composure also.

She breathed in deeply and squeezed a hold of his hands more firmly as another wave of tears threatened to burst over the dam, her voice cracked as she told her chilling truth.

"I've killed someone Obi." She closed her eyes blinking back tears, struggling to finish her sentence. "A child…"

Siri didn't often leave Obi-Wan speechless but she had managed it again, out of all the things in the world he had not imagined those words leaving her lips, no wonder he could feel such immense guilt pouring from her very soul and he could now identify the boundless shame.

Of course this was not the whole story, Obi-Wan could tell from the way Siri was struggling that there was more, much more. He did the only thing that he felt he could do and held her against his chest as she cried her eyes out, as she unleashed just a tiny slither of the pent up agony held within.

"Your last mission?"

She nodded into his chest as the flow of tears seemed to slow her determination starting to shine through and so for the second time in their meeting, Siri pulled away and was busy viciously wiping away tears and attempting to recompose herself. She met his gaze again which caused tears to threaten even Obi-Wan, he couldn't stand what he saw in those eyes, they were so haunted.

"There was an uprising on the planet, so much violence from rebels and the world's security force's." Her voice grew steadier slightly as she automatically fell back into Jedi mode, reeling off the events almost mechanically.

"My Master and I tried to stop the fighting on both sides, it was getting innocents killed and the rebels were starting to cause more and more casualties in their bombings. We knew it had to stop. My Master ordered me to protect the world's senate in their capital building but it wasn't long before we had company. I dealt with the majority of the intruders and they were all arrested but one…"

Obi-Wan held onto her shaking arms as she struggled with the recent memory, she had done so well to recall what she had without breaking composure. As much as Siri would hate to admit it they were only human, they had feelings like any other beings and she should not feel shame over feeling something for live's that were lost.

"There was one boy who got past the defence's, got past me. I caught up to him just as he reached the Senate and their families, just before he had the chance to detonate his bomb. When he saw me he panicked… I tried to talk to him, tried to make him see that violence was not the way forwards but he… he didn't listen…"

Siri choked out the words as the tale became harder to stomach, Obi-Wan felt sick over hearing the words but mostly from feeling his friend's turmoil and knowing there was nothing he could do to help.

"You did what you had to Siri." He gently spoke with the knowledge that these words wouldn't really lessen her guilt, it was clear to him that she did not have a choice in the matter with so many lives at stake of course it was easy saying that as an outsider.

"He was a child!" Siri raged pushing away from Obi-Wan aggressively. "He was no older than us…"

Obi-Wan looked up at her sadly as he finally understood the reason for her agony, the reason for her loss of control, the guilt.

He stood to join her, placing a placating grip on her arm. "I understand."

The fire was back in her gaze as she forcefully ripped her arm from his grip, swift rebuttal lashing from her tongue.

"How could you possibly understand?" Her tone was overly harsh, even for her.

Obi-Wan felt his anger rage before he brought the useless emotions under control, what he could not reign in however was the memories of his own past and the demons that came with it, of Bruck. Siri must have sensed his thoughts or at least a handful of them as she recoiled in horror at her own words before reaching out to her wounded friend.

"Oh Obi I'm so sorry, forgive me." She was looking up at him pleadingly and he could feel the desperation clinging to the words, he was all she had at the moment.

He knew there was no real malice behind her words she was simply in pain, he understood that feeling and did not blame her for her words no matter how harsh they had been. He could put his own feelings aside if it meant helping Siri.

"It's alright." He calmly assured her, returning the grip she held on him as she remained unconvinced. "Really."

She didn't seem entirely swayed but nodded anyway and felt huge relief that no permanent damage had been done, an air of melancholy threatened to drown the pair as they both fought to control the feelings brought on by their respective ghosts. Obi-Wan indicated they retreat to one of the seats beside the river, he could feel that this conversation was heading towards even more hazardous grounds.

"You still feel that over him, after all this time?"

Obi-Wan stared out ahead over to the waterfall where it all happened, all those years ago. He had managed to accept his role in Bruck's death and moved on enough to continue duties, that did not mean however that he had forgotten, he never would.

"I will until the day I die." Even as he spoke the words he knew them to be true, the horrifying realisation that he would have to live with countless other deaths in the future also.

Siri's eyes widened at the confession she had obviously not thought that Obi-Wan would still be so afflicted this many years on. Of course the line of thoughts bought her back to her own demons and the ramifications that meant for her.

"How did you know that it was… right?"

Obi-Wan thought back to his many healing sessions with Qui-Gon at the question, he too had the same worries over his actions. Who was to say what was right and wrong? Nobody truly knew the answer to that but the force.

"The force." He smiled at her as he remembered what Qui-Gon had once told him. "When you were stood before the boy facing the decision, what made up your mind?"

She grimaced as the memory replayed in her mind however he could tell she was thinking through the question seriously, he was sure she would come away with the same answer he had. There was no decision on their part.

"I didn't decide." She finally confirmed. "I felt from the force that he was a danger and needed to be stopped immediately, I followed the urgings."

He nodded at the words knowing that it had been the same with him and Bruck, the knowledge that it was the right decision had helped him battle his feelings however of course the guilt remained for a long time. Without Qui-Gon's intervention he truly didn't know how he would have coped, or even where he would be now.

"It was still my hand that ended his life Obi-Wan."

"Yes, and that is what you'll have to accept." He willed her to see what he could, a strong determined loving person who could accomplish everything. "Siri if you can get through that then there will be no stopping you, you will be a great Jedi."

He was rewarded with a slight ghost of a smile before it was eradicated cruelly by her next train of thought, as hard as he was trying Siri was doomed to return to brooding and self-blame.

"If that was truly the will of the force then I should not feel so guilty, how can I expect to be a Jedi if I react this way whilst doing my duty?"

Obi-Wan sighed as Siri had missed the point, it was the way she was reacting which made her Jedi, she had compassion.

"Siri most others cannot do what you do, in the face of such a decision they would never be able to place their own feelings aside to do what was necessary. You demonstrated the true meaning of selflessness and were in fact the perfect Jedi as when the force commanded you listened, regardless to your own reservations and personal consequences. You saved everybody in that building with such a great personal cost to yourself without question, you must surely see how selfless that is?"

The tears running down her cheeks began to slow as his words worked their way through to her own mind, as they began to make sense and more importantly gave her some reason to move forward. She truly had not thought about it from this side just as Obi-Wan had once been blind, he was just glad that his words appeared to be easing some of her misery.

"I… I just wish it didn't hurt this much." She half laughed and Obi-Wan was sure if she hadn't she would have cried instead.

He too felt a smile pull at his lips as he heard her laugh again, even if it was for only a few seconds it still lifted the mood considerably.

"No you don't Siri, not really." All of her attention was on him. "Your compassion makes you strong, I admire you for it. Without love or the pain of loss would we really be living?"

It was something that came hand in hand, without emotions or attachments there was no pain of loss but that was an empty world which Obi-Wan had no interest living in, it wouldn't truly be living anyway. Siri of course understood what Obi-Wan was saying and pulled him into a long embrace, without feelings then there would be nothing between the two of them they would not have this special connection.

"It would be easier though." She finally pulled away from the embrace and joked.

"Easier but not better." Obi-Wan quipped back.

They were interrupted by the beeping of a com-link which turned out to be Siri's, her Master was calling her back. Obi-Wan was surprised to learn that the Jedi Master had allowed Siri her space for a few days, perhaps he felt things would right themselves the force did work in mysterious ways after all.

As Siri prepared herself to leave Obi-Wan felt that she still had a long way to come, a lot of healing to accomplish. He was very pleased to have been able to help his friend though and start the process of acceptance which she now understood and also more importantly it's necessity. It was rather strange how mirrored this meeting had seemed for Obi-Wan, it was now he standing on the opposite side of the experience and counselling. In the past of course it had been his own Master who had aided him.

"Thank you Ben." She hugged him quickly once more before turning to leave, whispering into his ear her appreciation.

"Anytime Siri."

Just before she reached the edge of exit to the room she turned and smiled, "How did you get so wise anyway?"

He grinned and chuckled at the question, how was he to answer when he did not know himself? He thought it appropriate to settle for a quote, the fact that it was a quote would almost certainly drive Siri crazy which of course was his prime directive in life outside of normal studies.

"Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom."

The answer had the desired effect, well from a certain point of view. Siri threw her head back to laugh and muttered something along the lines of him being a dork before disappearing from sight.

Obi-Wan moved his attention away from her retreating force presence as he suddenly sensed another, somebody who was close by and who should have announced himself far earlier. Qui-Gon. The Jedi Master walked calmly into Obi-Wan's sightline.

"How long have you been standing there?" Obi-Wan managed to keep his rising irritation out of his tone.

"Long enough." The Jedi Master replied whilst giving Obi-Wan a knowing look.

His Master's shielding was often deadly and powerful, Obi-Wan hadn't sensed the Jedi's signature until the man wanted him to. Obi-Wan felt angered that his private moment with Siri had been watched, that he was being spied on. Of course he released the negative emotion in the next second realising Qui-Gon deserved none of his wrath there may be a very good reason for the man's presence.

It then occurred to Obi-Wan that being seen with Siri at this time of night was perhaps not a good idea, especially with their history. Perhaps that was why Qui-Gon was here?

"Master this isn't what it looks like…" His attempted explanation was cut off from his Master who held up a hand and shook his head.

"Obi-Wan you are in no trouble…" Obi-Wan breathed a sigh of relief at the words. "Siri needed a friend and you were here for her. I am proud Padawan."

Qui-Gon stepped slowly towards his fidgeting apprentice and allowed a smile to grace his features at feeling Obi-Wan's joy over the praise, to think a few seconds ago the young man was so sure of his guilt and impending punishment. Qui-Gon indicated that Obi-Wan join him at the water's edge so that the two could sit and admire the beauty which surrounded them, Qui-Gon had always loved this area above others.

"The counsel you gave her, it was wise." Qui-Gon continued.

Obi-Wan flushed with embarrassment again as the thought of his seemingly private conversation being overheard mortified him, he was humble as always with his next admission.

"I only told her what you have told me, I wouldn't have known what to say if you had not already done so Master."

Qui-Gon smiled at the words knowing that this was of course the way of teaching, he could at least be assured of his Padawan's teaching capabilities someday. The boy was quite clearly not only a good listener but he understood the lessons.

"How do you think I learned Padawan? If it were not for somebody showing me the way?"

He let the words sink in which of course did not take long, Obi-Wan was a quick study and had a lightening fast mind.

"We all teach, we all learn."

They both stared out at the glistening lake in contentment, with anew understanding. Qui-Gon looked down at his Padawan and smiled warmly, his apprentice was becoming a great Jedi right before his eyes, a great man.

As his gaze slid to the water he stopped. There in the reflection was not the familiar image of his Padawan, Qui-Gon saw a much older Obi-Wan staring back at him. His breathing stilled as the mirage remained, the man he saw in the water was still undoubtedly Obi-Wan. There was the same hair albeit it had grown, the face was still that which belonged to his Padawan with the addition of some wrinkles setting in and a beard, which still did not accomplish in hiding his Padawan's dimples.

It was the eyes which had Qui-Gon truly troubled however, on first look they matched the same intelligent sparkle which he had just witnessed in Obi-Wan's young face, the same eagerness and intelligence shining through. The longer Qui-Gon stared at the reflection however the more he saw, those eyes he knew so well looked so old, older than the body which indicated that harrowing experience's had aged the Jedi. The depths of those eyes held so many horrors, they looked so very pained and haunted, battle-scarred.

Was this a glance into his Padawan's future?

Before he could truly get lost into thought the surface of the water was disturbed, Obi-Wan's feet splashed into the surface causing the entire mirage to shatter and the lake to ripple. When the surface calmed again back was the rightful reflection of his Padawan, young as he should be.

"Master are you alright?"

Qui-Gon started as he felt his Padawan's hand on his arm, the contact served to bring him fully back into the world. He rubbed calloused hands over his face wearily and realised just how exhausted he felt, perhaps that was why he was seeing things?

"Yes fine Obi-Wan, perhaps a little tired."

Obi-Wan nodded in agreement as they both acknowledged how late an hour it was, Qui-Gon made the first move to leave the beauty of the fountains behind giving into the fact that even Jedi had their limits.

"Hungry?" He asked of his recently rapidly-growing Padawan.

Obi-Wan offered a huge grin at the question and his stomach offered up an answer also.

"Always."

The duo laughed as they headed out and away from the peaceful setting, happy enough that they had both moved another step forward on their journey together.

A/N - A slightly brighter end than the start :D I have a few more ideas ready but my focus is on finishing the first book in my series first, which is nearly there!

Until next time...