The salsa music swarmed around the room in a hot blaze, swallowing the spectators entirely. It seemed like even the people that didn't want to be there, which made up a worrying percentage, couldn't keep their eyes off the dance partners taking center stage. They were elegant, glistening , talented. Every move demonstrated a mixture of good genes, strong will power and hours of practice. Even the proud parents who only wanted their family to win couldn't help but smile as the man in the sequined tux twirled the graceful girl in red or green or blue around in circles. Everyone was hooked on each perfected twist and turn, everyone except Quinn and Rachel.
As the ambient lighting fired the room into a misty warm glow, Quinn Fabray was starting to see all the colors merge into one glorious smudge. Across the room from her, right in front of the stage, sat the judges. Allocated along the long velvet red table they tapped their pens approvingly and watched curiously. The first judge was an old man with a furrowed brow, a heavy pair of caterpillars that notoriously jived when he was enjoying the performance. The second judge fell into the previous category of wishing she was anywhere but here. She was a beauty queen, or something like that. She was an empty vessel of a past career that boasted titles for her smile and her desire to have world peace – which left her with a contract that meant showing up to events like these in Ohio. On the odd occasion she approved of a couple (usually thanks to a little muscle showing on the male's account) she'd flash her prosthetic pearly whites in a gleam for all to see. The lady next to her looked like she could be her mother, and by her miserable expression she was very much aware of the fact too. She didn't have a tell, and what more – she was a famously tough judge. Verna was probably the only one on that panel that actually knew a foxtrot from a waltz, and she definitely didn't mind pointing out the tiniest of footwork errors. And the guy next to her, well it seemed as if no one would mind if he wasn't even there. The only bonus was his slick backed jet-black hair and blow tie, like the beauty queen he didn't mind a little male skin either.
"So what do you do?" Quinn tempted the man next to her through her dark lashes. He didn't seem very interesting, but he sure seemed interested. That was enough for her in that moment. That and his expensive wallet which was funding a streamline of alcohol through her angered lips.
"I'm a lawyer" he declared in a smooth smug tone to the unimpressed Quinn. "A litigator actually"
"The arguing guy" she noted, her eyebrows lifting simultaneously as she took another sip from her drink. He laughed. They always laughed. From across the room Verna gave one of the best couples an insulting six, bringing them to a seven in total. The next pair stared up as the tango music started playing, matching eloquently to her peach orange dress.
Across the room, and what felt like light years away, Rachel scuttled to take a seat by her dads as the dance began. LeRoy's face lit up as he saw his girl in all her glory, glowing blue against the dark lighting, only her eyes shining out in a midst of worry. LeRoy's smile fell.
"Where's Quinn?"
"I don't know dad" Rachel confessed through tight lips. It felt worse saying it, admitting that she wasn't there. It made everything more real. "Have you seen her?"
"You got to find her!" Hiram butted in, his attention being snapped away only briefly from the flamingo like creature center stage. His mind was torn between enjoying the show and accepting defeat and a life of a debt.
"I know that." She said agitatedly, unable to sit still without her blonde by her side. "I'm gonna go look for her" Rachel declared before setting off back into the storm of the center ballroom.
She marched and paced around the room on a mission, nothing else mattering except the one goal of finding Quinn Fabray. As her eyes scanned every individual possible and her tiptoes felt like they'd crunch under her weight through the struggle of stretching up, she finally saw her. There, sat on a bar seat as nonchalant as possible, was Quinn. Drink in hand. Man by her side. Rachel froze as if a wave of ice hit her, but picking up the pieces she found enough fire within to melt away that ice and get what was rightfully hers. Her lips tightened into a stern line as she moved her away towards the laughter that spiraled out of the girls mouth, nearly as fake as the hair on that judge. The music continued to pester into Rachel's trail of thought, only being blocked out by her mind working on overdrive.
"Hey?" Rachel announced, turning Quinn's shoulder away from her conversation and towards her own disappointed expression. "What are you doing?" she asked almost bewildered.
"Look, she's fine" the lawyer felt the need to butt in as Quinn stared blankly at Rachel and back at the stranger.
"Oh you think she's fine?" Rachel rhetorically asked, looking at the intoxicated Quinn for emphasis. The man just stared with a confused smirk and Rachel shot him a look of disgust. "Why don't you just shut up, okay?" she ordered before he could add another word. Then she turned to Quinn. "How many drinks have you had?"
"I've had two vodkas"
"Listen, I don't know what choices you've made but we have to deal with this right now." She explained to the blonde bluntly and precisely, ignoring the hint of anger she could see playing up behind those hazel eyes. If Quinn wanted to have a temper tantrum, Rachel decided she could do that another time when the one thing she's always wanted wasn't on the line. "We're in this."
"We're in what?
And before Rachel could say all the things she wanted to, she heard the one thing she couldn't bear to. Her name. The presenter called it out followed by Quinn's with such enthusiasm that it was hard for Rachel to remember that this was the make or break moment of everything. She hated having her name called out in front of that big audience. She hated the memories that it brought back with it and the expectations of a performance. She hated the possibility of failure and never being able to capture and change that moment again. And most of all she hated that Quinn Fabray wasn't in it with her in the moment she needed her most, which ironically was the exact moment that Quinn needed her the most too. Rachel took control of the situation and released a slow breath.
"You know I used to think you were the best thing that's ever happened to me." Quinn said in a silky voice, pulling Rachel's attention back to her and the bar stool. But before Rachel could acknowledge that light headed feeling, that pounding in her chest, that pull towards the girl inches before her – she spoke again. "But now I'm starting to think that you're the worst – and, I'm sorry that I ever met you" Quinn added in a spiteful confession. And before Rachel's heart could even take off, it already crashed. But it couldn't, not in that moment. Not for her own sake, and definitely not for Quinn's.
"Good for you" Rachel shrugged before gripping onto the girls arm. "Now lets dance."
The dance floor began to simmer down from the roar of the previous performance. Whispers of dismay flooded the room from the last scores, a humble eight considering the dancers perfection. To one side the Berry's clasped their hands together in anticipation as Randy stuffed a plump complimentary olive into his mouth. On the other side of the room Santana gave an apprehensive tug of a smile to her husband and then to Finn. And in the middle of the slowly hushing room Rachel Berry yanked her partner onto the stage as she slipped her own coat off before removing Quinn's. She protested that she was fine and she could do it herself, but there was no denying that Quinn was anything but fine. Immediately as the two of them stood there in their matching outfits the murmurs began. Slowly but surely everyone in the room found an opinion on the fact that two girls stood before them, even before they started dancing. The heavy brows of judge 1 lifted, the puckered lips of judge 2 tensed, the glasses of judge 3 threatened to slip off the very end of her crooked nose – whilst judge 4 smiled for the first time since the topless waltzer.
The truth was they weren't good. And they knew it. They were okay, but okay compared to the rest of the group that was good just made them see even worse than they were. The judging panel was tough and Quinn was drunk. The Berry's were watching, Finn was watching, the entire room was watching. All they needed was a five. A holy five would mean it was all okay. Rachel felt a streamline of nerves electrify her entire body as she stared at Quinn's glazy eyes before looking out to the audience – but she couldn't see anything. That's what people forget about the stage, the fact that you're up there all alone. You're swallowed in black thanks to the spotlight – but just like sharks, you know they're out there. Somewhere close by you're fully aware that everyone is watching you. You see a glimmer here or there of watchful eyes, but if you focus too long you loose your steps and you might as well be out there with the sharks. They can smell fear – mess up, and you draw blood. Rachel took her position opposite Quinn as a shaky breath managed to fill her lungs, but even it wanted to escape from this titanic scale disaster.
Rachel stared at Quinn's eyes with a panicked urgency that threatened to expose her fear, but this time it was Quinn who balanced the crazy in them. She just nudged her head to the side, and with the motion most of Rachel's anxiety went too. She wanted Quinn to do something more, she wanted more of Quinn to make her feel alright. Quinn was her placebo effect, she was her happiness – and it took this paper thin moment for Rachel to finally accept it with every inch of her being. Frankly, there wasn't much use denying it.
But it was too late. The music had begun.
The familiar chachacha music filled the room. It was smooth and it was mellow, and it worked with the gentle twists and movements of the girl's slender waists as they pushed and tugged every dance move that they'd learnt. It was good, there weren't any mistakes and they looked great – they felt great. As the chachacha music slurred and Quinn spun Rachel for the last time, the brunette was sure that her partner was about to bring those two vodkas right back up – but she didn't. And then the chachacha finished, but the dance had just begun. With an ecstatic shock the entire room shone a bright flashing light of orange as the music suddenly changed with a roar to the clash. Loud, powerful, abrupt – just like the moves that followed this part of their dance. Wild hair flicking and eighties head nods filled the room with a much needed light hearted spirit and foot tapping rhythm – all whilst the pair of them on stage dorked themselves out with bright smiles. They were actually having fun. It was as if it was just the two of them again in that petal pink room. As they jumped and increased proximity there wasn't a single pair of eyes that weren't on the two of them. The chemistry was obvious and the heat between them was contagious. Hip on hip, hand on hand, they electrified the room with something that was missing from the evening. As their soft ballet shoes tapped against the hard wooden floor and Rachel's legs wrapped around Quinn's in one of their more intense moves, the music once again washed over to the next song – just in time for Rachel to find herself pressed against Quinn's chest in an ballerina worthy hold. A jazz waltz danced onto the playlist accompanied with swoons of elegant hand gestures and swift gliding feet, the two girls never leaving each other's touch as their eyes remained locked with one another's. Separating briefly they tap-danced the short routine that they'd practiced to a pinch. Their feet making the same sounds at the same time causing them to proudly grin up at each other as a soft applaud of approval wavered through the audience. Back into the waltz they found the moment growing closer and closer – the final big move. It was there, it was the cherry on top, it was the thing that would make them get the scores – essentially getting everything. They parted as they made their ways to the opposite corners of the stage, the music continuing to pace them for the huge finale. Quinn crouched down onto her knee as she'd practiced, giving a reassuring nod to Rachel who was about to run from the other side. The entire audience held their breath as a silence engulfed them all in locked anticipation. Heart pounding heavy in her chest, Rachel ran. Rachel leapt. And Rachel failed. There she sat, straddling young miss Quinn Fabray who was struggling to keep her up –whilst the entire audience couldn't help but let out shocked gasps of both woe and awkwardness. As Quinn continued to fumble desperately to get a panicking Rachel down, the judges whispered to one another as they watched the brunette's hips suffocate Quinn's face. Finally with an exasperated and painful to watch struggle, Rachel found her feet on the floor as Quinn searched for her breath. LeRoy's palms met his face as he looked away into Hiram's coat. Santana's red lips winced into both amusement and sadness, and maybe just a little bit of indulging improvement. The music tauntingly continued to blaze as the two of them finished off the dance in a wave of embarrassment. Finally Rachel tipped Quinn back and held her as the music drew to a close and the lights went down.
When they went up again so did the audience to everyone's surprise. Applause met Rachel like an old friend as the room clapped in approval of the first all female performance that this completion ever saw. The Berry's proudly stood and hooted, accepting defeat. Santana whistled, even to Carl's disapproving frown of her volume. And Finn looked proudly content, even if Rachel couldn't exactly see him. The judges were harder to read.
But the girls weren't looking at their family, or the judges, or at anyone else in that room. Because it still felt like their pink room. It still felt like just the two of them. And what more, it felt right – it felt like something they'd never want to change. They gave each other a look of support as they interlocked their fingers and walked to stand before the judges, their hearts still racing with every emotion possible. Their friends and families came to stand closer to them too, something that made Rachel realize this dance wasn't only just for Quinn – no matter how much she wished it was. It wasn't just for her parents either though, it was also for herself. It was the ceremony she needed back to being able to perform.
But there wasn't anytime for Rachel to think because the judges were shuffling their cards already. The presenter called out that it was time to see the scores, and the ambient music that the small orchestra decided to play seemed very out of place. Quinn squeezed Rachel's hand just that little bit tighter.
It was the old man first, with a 4.9. That was fine, sure it wasn't a five but it was hardly off it – and most of all, it was still possible to get a five. It was still possible to be okay. An uncomfortable snigger of laughter surrounded them as the more competitive and professional competitors and audience members mocked the low score. Blondie was next, and clearly starting to question her own sexuality by the look of utter delight during the crotch extravaganza – she went with a safe bet of a 4.9, exactly what the person before her gave. The woman was next, she was the toughest one – surely it meant that it had to get better after her? It was a 4.8. Rachel hitched her breath and Quinn felt it in herself too causing the same reaction. This was it – the last score that could save them or kill them. The tango dancers next to Rachel and Quinn gave them pitying looks.
"It's too bad you guys" the girl in the aqua dress said, a look of sympathy smothering her face "that's a lot of fours…"
But Rachel and Quinn ignored her, because there was still one last judge. There was still hope. And hope came in the form of a shining 5.4 from the best smile on the panel.
"For an average score of…" The presenter teased, though uninterested considering they were the runts of the competition. "5.0"
The audience cooed a mixture of apologetic wishes and the other competitors came closer to give their condolences, but they were met with a very different response to what everyone expected. A roar of happiness. An explosion of pure joy. Two girls screaming and jumping as if they'd just won the lottery – but of course they'd won something much better. As they celebrated with their arms in the air, the whole room and judges stared in confusion at the reaction to the lowest scores of the entire completion. Hiram hugged Rachel, LeRoy hugged Quinn, they swapped and then they did the same with Carl and Santana. Randy complained, everyone else remained confused, and Rachel and Quinn continued to jump with a new found ecstatic energy. They'd done it. All the practice had paid off.
Rachel turned to Quinn and felt the familiar rush after a good performance, tears threatening to meet her eyes. The blonde ran over and wrapped her arms around her as she yanked her into a tight hug, her face nuzzling into the warmth of Rachel's tied back lock of hair.
"Thank you" Quinn whispered in a muffled confession. "Thank you, you were amazing" the blonde continued. But this time Rachel was looking at someone other than the girl locked in her arms. She knew what she had to do. Rachel wiggled her way out of Quinn's touch without a single look, leaving the girl in the crowd of happiness as she made her way across some tables at the man in the suit standing alone. That very man in a suit that long ago wanted to marry her. Quinn watched her leave and never tore her eyes away for a single moment. The moment felt forever and every step that Rachel took away from her and closer to him killed Quinn in every way possible. Quinn watched them meet, even though it pained her. She watched them politely great as if nothing had happened over the years. She watched as he bent down and kissed her cheek as if she might as well have been his girlfriend. She watched even though it hurt more than anything had hurt her in her entire life. She was loosing someone she never even had. But she couldn't look away.
"Thanks for coming" Rachel said with a nod and a smile as Finn exchanged the same expression.
"The performance was awesome. How have you been?"
"I've been good, and you?"
"Same, thanks. You were really good out there" He added with a simple shrug and that same darn polite smile, Rachel wore it too. It was empty.
"Thank you. Who would've thought…dancing." She rolled her eyes and he laughed a little as anyone should have. Quinn continued to watch as parts of her shredded away with each little smile that they shared. She couldn't hear what they were saying but part of her thought that was for the best. It would hurt too much, not that letting her mind imagine the romantic conversation didn't.
"You look fantastic, Rachel"
"Really? Thanks." Rachel added without a single nerve, looking down at her dress before back at him. "I've been reading up on hockey too, by the way. Actually I've been trying out this whole new positive attitude in general. I'm in therapy too, and I'm taking my medication." A few encouraging nods followed through her dark lashes.
"Wow, Rachel-" Before Finn could say another word Rachel stood on her tiptoes and diminished any distance between them. And that's when Quinn snapped. She stood there watching as Rachel came closer to him, whispering god knows what with what Quinn imagined was some ridiculously unnecessarily seductive face. Quinn hated the way that Rachel could do that – even when she was mad. The brunette could arch her brows and pucker her lips and she'd get that cute little frown line and – Quinn halted as she squeezed her eyes shut. It was too much this time, it was too much to watch the girl you'd fallen in love with go back to the guy she loved. Especially when in someway or another you played in a part in all of it. That stupid letter haunted Quinn's trembling heart.
Quinn grabbed her coat from the stage side and bolted out, refusing to cry and only leaving Santana, LeRoy and Hiram staring longingly after her just as they'd watched her see Finn and Rachel. They could all see it, the way that Quinn had looked at them two – and when they thought about it, it was the way that Quinn had always looked at Rachel. That same hidden proud admiration that often disagreed with the venomous words that left her lips. LeRoy was about to go after her but he stopped, his attention going back to his daughter who was now coming this way away from Finn, just as Quinn fled the ballroom and the hotel just as swiftly as she'd come into Rachel's life in the beginning.
"Dad, where's Quinn?" Rachel quickly asked Hiram as she returned to the group to find that her blonde was nowhere to be found. Behind her Finn remained standing and watching her with a longing that no one had ever seen before, but it was only a slither compared to a similar expression they'd just seen on Quinn.
"She left, Rach-"
"What do you mean she left?" Rachel abruptly asked, only to have Hiram repeat the same thing. "Where did she go?" the brunette continued with an increased sense of urgency. But before Rachel was about to run after her, Hiram put a firm hand on her shoulder.
"Wait Rachel, let me tell you something – and I know you don't want to hear it, and I know you don't want to listen to your old man because I didn't want to listen to mine but here's the thing. In life, we have to look out for the signs. And a moment like this? It's a sin if you don't reach and grab it, Rachel." Hiram put both his hands on her this time and Rachel had never seen him like this, so desperately wanting her to do something. "You're facing a big challenge in your life right here, sweetheart, right here in this moment and right now. Forget about the labels, forget about what you think you knew about yourself, you're young and that girl? That girl loves you, she really really loves you – and I don't know if Finn ever did, but he sure as hell doesn't now and not like that, he never did and never would. And I'm telling you Rachel, don't let this moment haunt you for the rest of your life."
Rachel didn't say anything back, because for once her dad had told her something she already knew. Everything she already knew, but was too scared to admit. It was Quinn that was the music she was too afraid to hear. Quinn was that something that made life worth living, even if facing up to it meant risking it in the first place. Rachel pulled him into a hug and he held her for a moment, but it wasn't a moment too long – because they both knew she was running out of time.
"I love you, dad" She whispered before she ran to find the girl that she had fallen in love with.
And quite literally, fallen.