This was difficult to write… Dunno if I pulled it off realistically enough, but I think I am pretty satisfied with it.
14
"You're just in time," Katniss says, ushering us inside, her face brighter than I've ever seen. "Is that for Prim?" She turns to me, scowling. "Gale, I thought we talked about this. I get the presents, you just show up."
"Tell that to Rory. It's from him."
"Gale!" sputters my brother. "You're lying!"
"Katniss, dear," says my mother wryly as she pushes a beet-red Rory along, "remind me how long we've known each other?" She sniffs the air. "Now, if you excuse me, I have to go find your mother in the kitchen so I can finally unearth the secret to her recipes."
"Hazelle," says Katniss, shaking her head, but her lip's twitching.
A spiel of giggles sound and I glimpse Prim running by, tracking dirt all over the floor. At last putting the shiny marble surface to good use. "Prim, slow down!" calls Katniss. She got a "Tag! You're it!" for a response; and then all hell breaks loose as we're engulfed in a tide of pre-adolescents.
Mellark saves us with a soccer ball under his arm. "Who wants to play?" It takes him three minutes to charm over the Capitol audience; it won't take him much longer to charm over kids. Already, Posy tries to climb over him and screams when he lifts her on his back. Haymitch then swaggers in and roars, "YOU ROWDY BRATS QUIET DOWN!" only to be tackled by Rory and Vick.
"So uncivilized," says Katniss, smirking.
"Not like us," I agree.
There's so many smiles going around that it's getting contagious. Mine is probably going to freeze on my face. But who the hell cares? For this one day we get to forget everything - or at least push it away - and be happy for Prim. And we are.
Just then, the doorbell rings. "That must be Madge," says Katniss, brightening again. "Hold on."
When she opens the door, I stay at the edge of the foyer, waiting for Madge's quiet "hello."
But that's not what I got.
"Hi, Katniss! I like your dress! You really should wear bright colors more, you know." Madge flounces inside, grinning widely and flashing her dimples. "I love the balloons, by the way. Where do I put the gift for Prim? Oh actually, where is the Birthday Girl?"
Katniss laughs. "You're excited today, Madge."
"Of course I am! I mean, what's not to..." She sees me. "Hi, Gale."
The pause is miniscule, and she glides over it smoothly. When she speaks my name, her smile never leaves her face, the warmth in her voice never slips a notch.
"Prim's in the back, Madge," Katniss is saying now, and Madge - again, naturally and smoothly - turns her gaze away.
"Is that soccer? That looks fun. Katniss, wanna join? Come on, it'll be just like gym class in the old days." Laughing, she loops her arm around Katniss and the two of them walks to the gym. I watch them go. Madge is back to her cheery self. She's happy for Prim, like I am, like we all are.
Except that isn't true. Something's still off, and I know I'm not imagining it. And the reason I know this?
Madge never looked me in the eye.
x
By the time we've cut the cake, I know there's no way I can be imagining it.
Madge Undersee is breaking underneath.
No one else seems to notice. Katniss, of course, sees no one except her sister; she keeps reaching over and touching Prim on the elbow, on the shoulder, and I know she's just memorizing enough of Prim to last her through the Quell (because damn it, she's coming back). Mellark's preoccupied with distangling himself from his newest fan, Posy (a losing battle if I ever saw one); any free time he has is devoted to staring at Katniss. Loverboy, indeed. The rest of the party attendees are equally preoccupied with shoving cake in the mouth and shoving gifts at Prim to open. My mother and Mrs. Everdeen are watching this and growing misty-eyed over tea; Haymitch is nowhere to be seen, but last I saw him he was holding something suspicious behind his back and swaying on his feet. Mellark's too busy today to be watching him like a hawk, so no doubt Haymitch is taking advantage of his newfound freedom somewhere out of the radar.
Madge taps Katniss on the shoulder, mouthes something apologetically. Katniss looks ready to argue but then one of Prim's friends tugs her arm, whining about where's the bathroom. That's my cue.
I grab Madge's wrist before she reaches for the doorknob.
"What's up, Gale?" she asks, smiling. "Not a fan of cake?"
It's a smile that doesn't reach her eyes, which still aren't meeting mine. They're on my face, but trained to the right. Like she's focusing on the edge of my cheekbone instead.
"You tell me what's up," I say quietly.
"I don't-"
"Madge, quit forcing yourself. You can't fool me."
The smile slides off, slowly. She pulls at her wrist. I grip it tighter.
"Why are you doing this?" she whispers.
"I'm worried."
"About what?"
"About you."
"What's there to worry about? I'm fine."
"No, you're not."
"Yes, I am."
"Then look me in the eye."
She glances up, but only fleetingly. It's still enough. Enough for me to see it.
"I'm right, aren't I?" I ask her. "Madge."
She doesn't reply.
"Tell me- is this about a guy?"
She still doesn't reply, but stops struggling.
"So it is." Thom was right. I don't know what to think of it, or why I suddenly want to punch someone. "Who?"
With one final tug she breaks out of my grasp, pushes open the door and runs out. The message is clear, but I refuse to take it. Before she can get off Katniss's front porch, I've gripped her arm and spun her around.
"Madge, answer me."
"You don't want to know."
"Try me."
"You really don't, Gale," she says, more softly, staring behind me, her eyes vacant and dazed.
The door's still open, so from out here we can hear the noise from inside. Someone's shouting for another slice of cake. Cake. Suddenly it clicks. Why Madge looks so hurt, why she'd sooner die than tell me what's going on, why she's been plastering on the fake smile and fake laugh all day-
"Is it Mellark? Is that who it is?" I can't believe it. Mellark. But it makes sense. He's from town, like she is. He's her age. They were in the same class-
"Peeta? You think it's Peeta?" Her laugh is sharp, derisive, and I flinch. Her eyes finally flash to meet mine, and there's something suddenly wild about them. "Fine, you really want to know?"
I bristle at her tone. "Yes."
Madge advances a step closer. We're inches apart and I can count every freckle, every eyelash. "Then I'll tell you who this guy is. Let's see if you can guess him." Her eyes are blazing with fury now and I find I can't look away. "He's rude and harsh and for the longest time he writes me off as a spoiled little mayor's brat even though he knew nothing about me. But I didn't blame him, I knew he only acted that way because he's angry, angry at the world, at life, for taking his dad away, for making him and his family suffer when they never did anything wrong. I didn't blame him but I wished - just wished - he could've given me a chance to show I understood, that I wanted to understand. So I tried- I tried to make him see who I am, tried to be his friend, and it worked, he really started treating me like a human being. And it felt like a dream, I thought I wouldn't want anything else, it was all too good to be true... But I was wrong, I was greedy, and it got painful to even look at him. Just because every time I did, it's too obvious he'll always be thinking about someone else in a way he'll never think about me. And I hated myself for feeling like that because the girl he does belong with is my friend, too, and I know I'm awful to even have thoughts like these in the first place... And it's probably better if he was just a stranger again, because at least then-" Madge covers her face. "I don't know... I don't even know what to feel anymore. All I know is, I was keeping it under control until now." She drops her hands and draws a shaky breath. "Happy, Gale? Now do you know who I'm talking about?" She turns away from me, clenching and unclenching the folds of her dress.
We're both silent. Distantly, I can still hear the laughter from the house. A world away.
"Don't look at me," say Madge, her voice hardening. "I don't want your pity."
"Madge," I say. But I can't continue.
The anger's gone out of her now, and her shoulders sag. They've never seemed so small. She turns and looks at me, the blue of her eyes ocean-deep. "You probably don't remember this, but... seven years ago, you were with some of your friends when you saw me crying on the street. When you walked by you said, 'Only weaklings cry.' Not the best pep talk but I took it. I never cried again." She smiles, but it's not a bitter one this time. It does reach her eyes, even if they're sad eyes. "I won't cry this time either. It's just a silly crush. I'll prove it to you, I'll get over it. So- don't look at me like that. Please."
"Madge-"
"You heard me," she says, stepping back. "Please don't."
Then she's walking away, blue ribbon swishing in her hair, her hands clasped gently at her back. It's only that small detail - her hands clasped together, her clean pink nails barely visible the further she walks - that kept me from going after her. Because if I did, what would I say? I still don't know.
The weakness in my knees might also have something to do with it.
I sink down onto the porch step, raking my hair, pressing my knuckles against my forehead. Shit. Then I laugh. Because it's pretty funny, you know. The irony.
Now someone just needs to break my face for me.
There's a rustle, then footsteps. A pair of feet come into view. Perfect timing.
A gruff, dry voice. "Looks like you need a drink."
The bloody brawl can wait a few minutes. Wordlessly, I reach over and accept the bottle from Haymitch.
"You heard the whole thing?" I ask, even though I knew.
"Was enjoying my time in the bushes," he says lazily. "Felt compelled to stay when things got interesting." He takes a swig from his bottle; I do the same from mine. "So, what are you going to do?"
He cuts to the chase, huh. I don't answer. He pulls the Haymitch Sneer.
"Ah. Our Cousin Gale needs some advice, does he?"
I tell him to fuck off. He just barks a short laugh and lowers himself down onto the step next to me, a surprisingly steady motion.
"Alright, I'll help you out. But don't think I'm doing this for you. I'm doing this for the niece." Here Haymitch mutters something I barely catch. Something about a "debt" to "repay." Then, glancing at me, twists his lips grimly and continues:
"This mayor's lassie, if you'd believe it, she's the bravest one out of all you kiddies. That's 'cause she told you the truth. Granted, she had to be provoked into doing it, but still." He shrugs. "So it's damn clear to me what you gotta do. Return the favor. Tell her the truth... once you sort it out yourself. You owe her that, and that's the only thing she really needs from you."
He salvages the remaining drops of his bottle, all the while watching me closely.
"You know what, we should've talked sooner. You and I are quite similar," he says, rubbing his beard. "Although... I'd say I was never that dense at your age. Yeah, yeah, save the glare for another time. Hey, someone's calling you. Your mom?"
I glance behind me. "Sounds like it," I grunt.
Haymitch gets to his feet, tottering just a little bit, and reaches out a hand. I ignore his outreached hand and stand up on my own.
"Now what is it about cold-hearted Seam boys that attract girls like her?" he drawls, giving me an once-over. "Must run in her blood. G'luck, at any rate," he says, and I watch him saunter his way back towards his house, waving a hand unceremoniously. Haymitch. He's a weird one.
As I head back to the party, my brain kind of sluggish. Probably because of the alcohol. But I'm grateful for the sluggishness. Once my head clears up, there will be a lot of thinking to look forward to. A lot of sorting out the truth to do.
I hope I succeeded with my little HayMay hints, heh heh.
Any thoughts? Hopefully, Madge's rant was not too OOC. I debated for a long time how Gale should find out, and I ended with Madge directly telling him, but only when she was pushed past breaking point. The childhood encounter with Gale might be a bit cliché, but I needed something to explain, "Why Gale?" other than his dashing good looks and surly attitude. xD (Sorry, Gale, you always get bashed somehow)