Warning: some smut
Chapter 14- To be Healed
Draco hung his head, sitting in the chair Severus had put beside the bed. Severus had barely said anything to him, merely looking over Harry's wounds, forcing a potion down his throat, and telling Draco that he would be fine before looking over Draco himself—as if he mattered after what he'd done.
He could remember bits and pieces of what had happened. Mostly it was all a big blur, as it usually was when he transformed. But he did remember Harry's Animagus form yowling in pain, Harry's shouted spell, Blaise and Granger's Stupefy.
He'd woken up alone and in an unfamiliar part of the forest and known immediately that something was wrong. By the time, he'd made his way up to Hogwarts, Severus had had Harry's wounds mostly in hand and had sent Weasley, Granger, and Blaise away after properly scolding them.
He hadn't left Harry's bed since, and Severus hadn't said anything about it. He'd been placed in his own private room, a lot like Draco's; something about how Harry hated the infirmary, and it would be better if he wasn't around other people. Rationally, Draco knew he hadn't been in control of himself; he knew Harry had been trying to help him. He knew he hadn't infected Harry, and the worse he would have was scars. But that didn't lessen the guilt or the anger.
"Draco?" Harry's voice sounding in the small room.
"You're awake," Draco answered, looking up. Harry blinked at him, green eyes staring in that way he had when Draco was being particularly annoying. "Are you in a lot of pain?" he asked, leaning forward. He had to clench his fists against the impulse to reach forward and pat Harry down, to make sure Severus hadn't missed a spot, to make sure Draco really hadn't done permanent damage to him.
"I'm fine," Harry said, still staring, and Draco had to look away before he did something horribly stupid. Like beg Harry's forgiveness. He was sure that would go over well.
"I should get Severus."
"Do you remember what happened?" Harry asked, and Draco could tell he didn't move, but he didn't need to, the grate of his voice and the force of his stare was enough.
"I could have killed you," and he was suddenly standing, his back to Harry and his hands at his sides and he still somehow heard Harry shifting to sit behind him above the pounding of heart.
"I know that," Harry said, and he sounded entirely too calm.
"Why didn't you run!" he turned, staring at Harry with what he was sure was a psychotic expression. "Why didn't you leave when you knew I was out of control? You could have-."
"I didn't want to leave you," Harry interrupted, and though his voice was soft, and his face blushed bright red when he said it, his eyes never left Draco's.
"Why?"
"I…" and Harry's eyes finally flicked away, locking anywhere but on Draco. "Why does that matter?"
"Bloody Hell, Harry, because-," he stopped abruptly as the door opened to his right, and Severus stepped through, dark eyes focused on Draco with an expression he couldn't read.
"Our Apologies for interrupting," Lucius said, stepping into the room behind Severus and speaking with a not at all apologetic voice. "But I need to speak with Potter, and I'm sure Severus was wanting to check on him."
"I'm fine," Harry repeated, turning his head away. He didn't bother laying back down as Severus came around the bed to look him over but neither did he bother to argue as Severus cast a few spells on his person and ordered him to drink a couple potions.
"You were lucky," Severus said finally, taking a step back and sinking into the chair Draco had recently abandoned. "Most of your wounds were superficial, and the few scratches that weren't were placed just so to avoid any real injury," he cast a strange look Draco's way, half inquisitive, half suspicious. "I'd almost say Draco wasn't actually trying to hurt you."
And Draco couldn't stop himself from biting his lip. Severus knew. Severus knew that Harry was his... Merlin, what Severus must think of him and-
"That makes sense," Harry answered, paying no attention to Draco's distress or Severus' hard stare. "Werewolves aren't usually violent toward animals in general. He would have just wanted me out of the way."
"True enough," Severus said, turning away from Draco as if he truly accepted Harry's answer, but Draco knew he didn't. He knew. His eyes flicked up and met his father's, who frowned at him. It was clear Lucius didn't have anymore idea what Severus was thinking than Harry did, and Draco was a least glad of that.
"Severus told me about your mission, Potter," Lucius said, and Harry blinked before turning to stare at Lucius as if he'd suddenly grown a third eye.
"Severus knows?" Draco asked, because well, as good as that was, he hadn't known Severus knew, and it wasn't like Harry to go around tell people things about Horcruxes and Dumbledore's plans and that he'd wanted to get himself killed and stuff. Harry tended to bottle that shite up until Draco demanded to know what he was doing and accused him of cheating when he refused to answer. But then, maybe he'd only done that to Draco.
"He was with me when I found the diadem," Harry said, and he was staring at Draco with those green eyes again, his expression dark and charged and Draco should know what it meant, but all he could be was surprised. Surprised and hurt.
"You found the diadem?"
"And we think a way to destroy Horcruxes," Harry said.
They had been together almost exclusively the last three days, sleeping and talking and when Draco wasn't staring at Harry, he'd caught Harry staring at him, but not once had Harry bothered to tell him any of that.
"Why didn't you tell me sooner?"
"Didn't occur to me," Harry answered, and it was so blatantly a lie that Draco didn't know what to say, so he just nodded and turned away.
"Right," his father said, lips pressed together in his most disapproving look. "Well, I've been asking around, and I think we'll have all the ingredients in time to start brewing by next week."
"Which is faster than I'd anticipated," Severus said, his hands folded carefully across his lap as he spoke, and Draco could tell by the look on his face that something was coming.
"What?" Harry asked, his eyes flicking from Severus back to Lucius. "What happened?"
"Nothing happened," Lucius answered, his lips pursed. "It's only… the Horcruxes you were talking about, I may know where another one is."
"Where?" Harry asked, and the emotion was gone from his face so fast, Draco was half convinced he'd imagined it in the first place. Except he knew. He knew now what Harry did to avoid his emotions.
"Bellatrix Lestrange's vault," his father said. "She's always been loyal to Voldemort, so proud of how much he trusts her. She used to go on about how she was his favorite, about how he would trust her with his soul. I used to think she was being metaphorical, but now I'm not sure."
"I remember that," Draco said. "It was right after he broke them out of Azkaban. But she was mumbling all sorts of nonsense."
"Was it nonsense or did we just not understand?" Lucius asked, one eyebrow raised. "And do you also remember how many trips she made to her vault when she first returned? How defensive she got when anyone asked where she'd been?"
"She would never betray him," Severus said.
"On purpose," Harry answered, and he exchanged a look with Severus that Draco didn't understand. "It makes sense."
"It's too dangerous," Severus said. "Lucius and I can look into the matter."
"Lucius is in just as much danger outside the castle as I am, and if you go breaking into Gringotts, the Ministry will have your head," Harry said, tilting his head and staring with dark green eyes, and Drack suddenly realized with a horrifying start what they were talking about.
"Harry, don't be an idiot," he said, and Harry turned to glare at him as if Draco wasn't right about this. "You can't go running off to Gringotts. Voldemort-."
"I can do whatever I like," Harry snapped.
"Now isn't the time to debate this," Lucius interrupted before Draco had the chance to retort. "You should rest," he told Harry. "And I'm sure we have work to do," he glanced at Severus, who gave one stiff nod before standing.
"I'll be back to check on you later," Severus said, and then they were gone.
"A werewolf?" Theodore Nott asked, his eyebrows raised. And Blaise thought that he could have done a much better job at pretending that he didn't know. He had been the one to tell them to go into the woods in the first place. "Really?"
"You almost got us killed!" Granger said, her voice sharp as she looked at Blaise, and he suddenly knew that she saw through Nott just as he did. He supposed she at least wasn't an idiot.
"I assure you that I had no way of knowing what would happen," Nott answered, wide eyed and innocent. "And really, wouldn't it be better if everyone knew, so they could avoid this happening again?"
"What?" Blaise asked, and he had to consciously control his voice before he said something he regretted. "That would just cause chaos. Beside, it's obvious Headmaster Snape knows, which is what really matters, isn't it?"
And it wasn't that it didn't bother him. It wasn't that he didn't care that Draco Malfoy was a Werewolf. It was just… He cared about Draco. He cared, and how could he condone being the cause of Draco's life being imploded. No matter how conflicted he had been about Draco and Potter being together, he knew when he needed to take a step back. Because at least with Potter, Draco wasn't alone. And as a Werewolf, if Draco was with Blaise, he would always be alone.
"Does it?" Weasley snapped. "It's got to be illegal, having a werewolf in the school! And another student running around in the woods with him, unsupervised. It's wrong."
"Ron," Granger said. "We can't just go running off yelling about Malfoy. We don't know what that will do-."
"Why should we keep his secret?" Weasley asked.
"Exactly," Nott answered, one eyebrow raised, and Blaise knew with a sinking feeling that this was what he'd been planning all along. He exchanged a look with Granger as Weasley began ranting about werewolves and the law and 'the right thing to do.' The problem was that he had no idea how to stop it.
"Why didn't you tell me sooner?" Draco asked, and Harry sighed. He was still in bed, his back propped up against the headboard so he was sitting up.
"You've already asked me that," he answered, leaning his head back and turning away. Draco was seated back in his chair, far enough away that Harry could ignore him if he wanted to. And suddenly that was terribly too far for him. Draco stood abruptly, sitting on the edge of the bed and leaning over to get as close to Harry as he could without getting in his face. Harry turned toward him, his face flushed as he looked at Draco with dark green eyes locked on his face.
"Don't do that," Draco said. "Don't lie and avoid."
"You didn't need to know."
"How could I not have-?" Draco started, his voice high, as he felt the sharp stab of hurt when Harry lied to his face again.
"No, Draco," Harry snapped, and it was suddenly Harry grabbing him, his hand tight around Draco's wrist and his eyes dark and intense, and Draco was limb, unable to do anything but stare and listen. "You didn't need to know when you were scared and stressed and in the middle of your transformation."
"You…" Draco blinked. "You were protecting me…?" Harry blushed, flicking his eyes away with a scoff.
"Don't be ridiculous," Harry said, his cheeks now bright red, and it was ridiculous, because Harry didn't protect people. Even Severus and Lucius, who he obviously cared about in spite of making it very clear how little he cared about people, he didn't protect. So, yes, it was ridiculous.
Except... he had already protect Draco. The first night he turned, he'd been there to protect him from himself. He'd been there for the past three days. He'd been there when Draco needed to whine about his father or lash out. He'd been there to stop Draco from killing Weasley, Granger and Blaise, not because he cared about them, but because he cared about Draco.
And for the first time, Draco looked at him and thought that this was what it was like to be in love with someone. And it was a terrifying thought. Horrifying.
But he understood exactly why Lupin had been so unconcerned by Draco's insistent reminders that he and Harry weren't mated yet. Because it didn't matter. He didn't care. He was in love with Harry, and as terrifying as that was, he couldn't imagine himself running away from this.
"Why are you staring at me like that?" Harry asked, looking at him out of the corner of his eye as if Draco had lost his mind.
"Can I kiss you?" Draco asked, because he knew saying what he really wanted to say would only make Harry run the opposite way, and really, he did want to kiss Harry again.
Harry's lips parted, and he swallowed, his Adams-apple bobbing along his throat as his eyes flicked down toward Draco's lips, and Draco knew Harry wasn't physically apposed to touching him, but that didn't mean he was ready for it.
He wasn't stupid; he remembered Voldemort touching Harry, the way Harry had been so limp in his arms. He could have been dead except for the pain and fear and acceptance in his eyes. He remembered Voldemort's whispered taunt about Harry sitting and staring again. Like it had happened before. He remembered Harry answering something about his aunt drawing more blood than Voldemort could.
Draco wasn't stupid, but he also knew that there were some things he couldn't force Harry to talk about. But that also didn't mean they didn't affect him. That much was obvious by the way he avoided human contact as if it burned. By the way he'd reacted the first time Draco had tried to kiss him. By the way he still hesitated as he stared at Draco's lips.
"You don't have to do anything you don't want to," Draco said, his voice almost a whisper in the still air of the room and still Harry started at the sound of it, like he'd been caught doing something wrong.
"I don't…" he flushed even darker before forcing himself to look up at Draco, his pupils blown wide with fear and lust, and Draco didn't think he'd ever seen Harry this open before. "I want you."
"Harry," Draco twisted his wrist around, and Harry seemed to realize he was still holding it. His fingers sprang apart and he went to move away, but Draco grabbed his hand, holding it between both his hands. "Has anyone ever touched you and not tried to hurt you?"
"I mean, there's Severus..."
"No, I mean sexually."
"I…" and Harry was turning away again, flushing with something too close to shame for Draco's taste, but he didn't pull his hand away.
"Harry," Draco said. "Would you let me show you that it can feel good?" He saw his eyes widen, though his head didn't turn, and Harry's breath sped up, his fingers locking around Draco's like a vice. "You can tell me to stop any time, but let me show you that it doesn't have to hurt."
He leaned forward, his breath ghosting across Harry's face. And then Harry turned abruptly toward him, and he didn't know who kissed who, but they were suddenly kissing, and it wasn't the chaste innocent kisses they'd shared before. Harry almost immediately opened his mouth for Draco, his hand fisting around Dracos' while his other hand hovered nervously in the air around his shoulder for a heartbeat before it latched on.
Draco's first instinct was to lean forward, to push Harry back against the headboard, to press his body against Harry's, but he'd done that last time. Besides, this wasn't about him. Instead, he leaned back, taking Harry with him until they were sprawled on the bed with Harry half laying on top of Draco. He broke the kiss, his green eyes staring down at Draco with shock and uncertainty, and Draco knew Harry had absolutely no idea where to go from there.
He pulled his hand away from Harry's, letting him setting his own hand next to Draco's head, so he could prop his weight up. And Draco started at his face, the tip of his finger against Harry's cheekbone, the bags under his eyes, down his nose, the hollow of his cheek, down his chin, and finally back up to his lips. And Harry opened his mouth, his breath hot against Draco's fingers as he panted, face flushed and eyes full of desire.
And Draco reveled in the fact that he could do this to Harry. Only him.
He let his hand slide around to the back of Harry's neck and pulled him into another kiss. Harry kissed him back easily, opening his mouth as Draco slid his hand up and into his hair and- He tensed suddenly, his lips freezing against Draco's. He pulled his hand away from Harry's hair immediately, sliding it back down until he gripping Harry by the shoulders, kissing gently until Harry was relaxing and opening back up to him.
Draco filed hand in the hair as a trigger as he put both his hands on Harry's chest, gliding them down until one rested on his stomach and the other was laying on edge of his robe. Harry pulled away from the kiss, gasping and wide-eyed. His eyes flicked down to Draco's hands and then back up, and then he was kissing Draco again like he was going to die if he didn't, and Draco was reaching in wrapping his hand around Harry and loving the gasped groan Harry moaned against his mouth.
He didn't really try to keep kissing after Draco started touching him. He just panted into Draco's mouth, his fingernails digging into Draco's shoulder so hard it hurt deliciously. And Draco was watching the pleasure move across his face with a sense of adoration he was entirely sure had almost nothing to do with the sex.
It wasn't that Draco wasn't turned on. It wasn't that Harry wasn't hot, or that Draco didn't want to shag him or be shagged by him. It was just that this was about Harry.
Harry came with a startled moan, his teeth clamping down on Draco's bottom lip in a way that absolutely thrilled him. He went completely stiff against Draco before going limp, collapsing boneless against him. Draco turned his hips away, careful to keep his own erection safely away from Harry's relaxed form.
"I…" Harry started, his face already tucking itself against Draco's neck.
"Just go to sleep, Harry," he answered, and wasn't too surprised when Harry did just that.