AN: Okay i know everybody was confused with the whole chapter 1 is chapteer 14 mess that happened last night so here is the story.

I was writing Chapter 14 last night and i could not remember if i had the time right in my story so when i looked at chapter 1 i noticed that it said Bella had been a vamp for 90years instead of 3 as i have been putting lately. So i being the klutz that i am i tried to change it but i accidentally ended deleting the whole chapter instead. I didn't know how to put it up there so what i did was post chapter 1 as chapter 14 and moved it up to the chapter 1 space. I'm soooooo sorry and its actually surprising that i can at least get chapters up on here because i have no idea how to work the site at all (lol)

So here is the real chapter 14

Chapter 14

"Would you mind if I came in?" he said quietly a hint of his southern accent poking out.

I nodded slightly afraid that my voice would crack if I answered out loud. I shifted over a bit as he folded himself on the ground next to me looking out the window as I had been earlier. We sat there for some time Jasper looking out of the glass wall at the scenery me wrapped in my thoughts again about what had happened. A fresh wave of guilt and shame made its appearance as I thought about all the horrible things I thought in order to get the nameless man.

"Why are you so guilty Bella?" I heard Jasper murmur. His eyes never leaving the window, I sighed before answering.

"I was remembering of what happened earlier and all the horrible things I was thinking as I chased that man down." I sighed again as I remembered how I blamed the Cullens for stopping me from before.

"If you don't mind what was it you were thinking?" he asked quietly turning to face me.

Though I knew that Alice had already told him the story I re-elaborated it to him telling him what I was thinking, how I blamed the Cullens when my predator side came out, how I felt Edward would react when he noticed how truly a monster I was.

It was a release talking to Jasper, maybe it was the calming atmosphere his presence presented or maybe he was cheating and using his powers to make me spill but either way. I found myself relieved when I came to an end of my story looking up at Jasper who was still gazing out of the window.

"Your not horrible, Bella" he murmured quietly "Your just new to this, it's like being a newborn again isn't it." he said glancing over at me "learning self control all over again only it's harder since you have already tasted human blood and you see how it quenches your thirst the way animal blood can't, have you heard my story Bella? I'm sure the bite scars tell you where I came from before I came here."

I nodded slowly it was quite clear that Jasper was in the southern wars before coming here.

"I only came here for Alice because she's always wanted a family and if she leaves so will I. I try only for her" he finished quietly "You have to learn restraint which can take centuries, you'll have to hunt more, and we'll all help you." he said turning his head to smile at me. "Well except for Rosalie she probably won't help."

From somewhere in the house I heard Rosalie shouting "Don't you dare tell her that Jasper Hale Whitlock."

He laughed loudly his golden hair falling over his.

"You know I will help her; how could you say something like that?" Rosalie continued "Don't listen to him Bella".

I snickered lightly as Jasper got up lending me a hand to pull me up.

" I think you should talk to Edward now before he paces a hole in the living room floor, Esme will not be happy if she has to relay the floors after doing them just last week" he winked at me before walking down the stairs toward Alice side ruffling her spiked hair before placing a chaste kiss on her cheek.

I walked in the living room to see Edward literallypacing a hole in the floor. Emmett and Rosalie cuddled on the couch there eyes following his movements like cats would follow string. Occasionally, Emmett would throw a pillow only to see Edward repel it back toward him with a flick of his wrist. Emmett's booming laugh would then fill the room as he persisted on breaking Edward's train of thought.

It was actually a comical sight. When Emmett and Rosalie noticed my presence they swiftly left the room heading up stairs. I decided to sit on the couch and wait until Edward noticed me. He seemed to be in deep thought since he didn't know notice I was out of the room and sitting right in front of him.

"Edward," I spoke quietly. His head snapped up at the sound of my voice. Once he saw me recognition flooded his face and he darted to me, sitting on his knees cupping my face in his hands.

"Bella, are you OK?" he said quietly his thumb tracing patterns over my cheeks "I was so worried, I shouldn't have let you leave. I promise, next time I'll come with you."

I put my lips to his ceasing his ridiculous rambling. I pulled away from him looking into his yellow eyes which still showed how much he was worrying. His eyebrows furrowed together to make a permanent crease over his eyes. I placed a finger there to smooth out his lines of worrying. I realized almost instantly that I never wanted to see him like this again. I hated anything that creased his beautiful face with pain like this.

"Edward," I said kissing his chin, he sighed "I knew that the time would come and I would react to human blood the only way I knew how, which was to hunt. It reminded me of my childhood, when my mother would tell me not to eat my dessert before my dinner. I couldn't resist and I'm sorry. I understand if you don't want me anymore." I said my eyes leaving his to nothing particular on the ground.

I heard the low growl that came from his lower chest before I felt his hands grab my upper arms.

"I heard that through Jasper's thoughts," he growled. "How could you think that?" His face softening with his voice "I love you, I won't leave you. I don't care what you do. Even if you massacre a whole town, I will love you forever. You have to realize that."

If my heart could beat it would have stopped at his words. He leaned down and pressed his lips against mine. It was then that I decided I would spend the rest of my forever with Edward.

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it's like getting a star next to your tests when your young (even if you didnt do a good job)