Author's Note:

Hi again and sorry for taking so long with this chapter. I've had the first part of this chapter written since before the holiday but the second part of it was kicking my butt. So I talked it through with my beta Taxivan and we thought we could break up the chapter into two different ones so that you can at least enjoy a chapter now while I wrangle my muse and break it to her that vacation time is over.

Hope you all enjoy this chapter (which, just because I broke it into two, doesn't mean it suffered in length, it has the usual length of all the other chapters). Again I could not be able to make it without the very valuable input of Taxivan.

Another thing that she brought to my attention is the fact that there were some inconsistencies with names and ranks. For that reason, I will set the record straight and go back to earlier chapters to make changes.

Changes to rank or names:

Commodore Roy Fokker (He died in the series so we never saw him get through the ranks. In this story since he is alive, we will assume that he kept up raising in the ranks. We looked up the proper chain of command and there you have it…)

Captain Barry Hawk (went back to the series and went with the proper rank)

Jan Kugo (he has many variations to his name. Changed it to this because it's different than Koji, there are other reasons but this is the less complicated one to explain. If you would like more info on this character, there is a Wiki on him. Look up Starzingers)

Captain Claudia Grant

Lieutenant Colonel Vince Grant (went with the army rank since he is ground forces and I am assuming he uses Army rank and not Navy or Air Force)

Also I used both Radar and Cypher for the same character (one of the Izzari bad guys) because of different reference resources (his name changes in different translations). To set the record straight, his name will be from now on, Cypher.

I think those are all the changes and info I was going to give you. Hope you enjoy this installment and know that I am working on the next one…. Hope to see you all soon!

#

Chapter 14, Painful Realizations

The next morning came far too quickly for Rick. He felt as if he had not slept a wink. First night out of the infirmary and he had not dealt well with the pain, regardless of the medication. It was not a sharp pain anymore, more like a dull ache that just wouldn't go away. He felt like a baby for complaining about it since it had lessened from before. It didn't help that he was starting physical therapy today, and there was the promise of even more pain. He didn't want to think about it, just like he didn't want to think about the other reason why he had not slept well.

Not even the blessed numbness of the medication had helped him forget what had driven him to his room in such a state last night. The inappropriate thoughts he had towards his friend had not lessened, nor had the feeling of loneliness.

And though he wanted to hide from her, he knew he could not avoid her. She was a valued friend and confidant, and on this mission, the lifeline to his sanity. Or at least she had been, until yesterday happened. Regardless, he remembered her concerned words from last night, and on hindsight, he could see the worry that had clouded her eyes.

Maybe, since he was up so early, he could go and see her before the meeting. Even though he couldn't tell her the exact reason why he left so hastily, his abrupt leaving was still rude, and he should let her know that he's okay to ease her worries after last night.

Looking at his reflection in the mirror, he finished straightening his uniform. He looked as careworn as he felt. His mouth was in a constant frown from the pain and it had started to form brackets around the corners of his lips. He felt much older than his twenty three years and it weighed heavily on his body and mind.

#

A couple of hallways down, Lisa was getting dressed in her standard Macross uniform. Aside from the fact that she would be in meetings inside the base all day, her uniform felt like a protective second skin. And she had a feeling that she would need it today. Her mind was contemplating multiple things at the same time as she allowed her body to go through the familiar motions of getting ready as if on autopilot. While this was not unusual for her, it was unusual for her to not be able to organize her thoughts in a productive manner.

Every morning, Lisa's morning routine began with organizing her massive to-do list. She had learned early on in life that if she didn't take the time to organize these random thoughts, she would get overwhelmed and become unproductive. So the mental exercise of compartmentalizing each task and assigning a priority had become an essential part of her day. She credited her efficiency to this organizational practice. She would then dictate her results to her official phone as a voice memo and work from there to chip away at her to-do list.

Today though, those thoughts were stubbornly getting bumped out by her worry over Rick. She mentally cursed at herself; she couldn't help but keep thinking about him. She had promised not to let herself dwell on him, and here she was, affected by him again. And regardless of the fact that it was not in a romantic manner, thoughts of him still intruded into her routine. With a sigh, she gave in and decided to address those thoughts in order to move on with the rest of her tasks.

Aside from the obvious concern about his physical condition due to the accident, she was more troubled about his mental state. She worried if he would be able to carry out his duties, and how that would affect him personally. He seemed capable, based on yesterday's performance, but she had seen him doubting himself after. He didn't think he was ready for command. He thought his place was in the thick of the battle. And although he had performed admirably, Lisa knew it had been an instinctive reaction to the situation rather than a planned, strategic one. She knew Rick was like that. He would act in the moment, letting instinct guide him, but then he would become confused when he had too much time to dwell on things. He was also a person with a strong sense of loyalty, almost to a fault. Case in point, his loyalty to be on the field with his team, and his unflagging loyalty towards the little singer that continues to haunt him. It was hard for him to let go of the status quo and move on.

Lisa made a moue of distaste. No, she was not going to go down that rabbit hole. Not now. It had been hard to accept, but love could not be manufactured or earned. Reality was harsh and nothing like the movies. There is no changing one's heart when it is being held by someone else. Just like she could not change her own heart and make it stop loving Rick, she couldn't change his from loving Minmay.

When her eyes started to prickle with the sting of imminent tears, Lisa gave herself a stern glance at the mirror. The face that looked back at her reminded her that this was not the time to be thinking such frivolous things. Mentally, she visualized herself sending all those thoughts and emotions down a virtual cliff and scoffed at herself for her flight of fancy. With a last look in the mirror, she exited her room to start her day.

#

Rick finally decided to head down the hallway to Lisa's office. He had procrastinated enough on coming to see her. He was apprehensive at the thought of being alone with her, so after he left his room, he had not gone to get her for breakfast like he usually did, instead he spent it with the other Macross crew. But as much as he tried to appear unaffected by her absence on the outside, inside, that was not the case.

Rick sipped his coffee and let the sounds of the breakfast rush buzz around him. Conversation was lively on their table but even though he listened with half an ear, his attention wasn't really into it. His friends attributed his silence to his normal pre-caffeine stupor and therefore left him alone to nurse his beverage. He was included in their conversation briefly when the topic turned to his health but after responding to their inquiries, the topic fizzled and he was left once again to listening morosely to the light gossip of the other couples at the table. As interesting as it usually was to hear the others' views on how situations were developing around the base, Rick could not shake the feeling of being left out.

For that reason, he did not stay too long. As soon as he had finished his breakfast, he cited an excuse to leave the table. Whether by habit or gut instinct, Rick's footsteps led him to the well-known path to Lisa's office, and he reasoned that this time would be as good a time as any to clear the air with her.

His hope of catching her by herself was not to be since he could hear voices as he approached. He slowed down his pace in order to determine if it was a good moment to walk in or not. He was also curious as to who could be there so early.

"Remind me again Ryoma, why did I not have this meeting in the conference room?" Lisa's voice floated out of the open door of her office. Her tone made it seem like the question was more in humor than a real question.

"Because then you would have had to haul this mountain of papers across half the base," Ryoma responded just as wryly. Lisa snorted and they both let out a good laugh.

'Huh, since when did they both get so chummy?' Rick thought crossly. Last he knew, Lisa was using his room to hide from the stalkerish samurai spy. Remembering that day made him recall the feel of her body as she pressed herself against him to look down the hallway. Rick shook himself out of that train of thought real quickly. He was trying to not think about his friend in that way, dammit!

More laughter trickled out towards him and he realized he had spaced out in the middle of the hallway. Rick's mood darkened even further at the husky sound of her laughter. Laughter that mostly Rick was able to pull out of the normally taciturn woman.

'So I get myself laid up for a week and Lisa replaces me with this guy?' Rick thought angrily. The flash of anger that ran through him shocked him and he stopped himself. 'Where did that come from?'

Rick's eyes opened up wide as his heart pounded painfully. He normally only felt this hatred towards Kyle. Did that mean he had feelings for Lisa? Rick felt as if he had been doused with cold water. He couldn't, could he? His mouth dried up and his palms started sweating. In order to distract himself from this thoughts, he walked into the room abruptly.

"Good morning," he grumbled as they both turned around to face him.

"Morning Captain!" Ryoma replied cheerily, a smile still on his lips from his earlier conversation with the honey haired captain. Lisa on the other hand, echoed the sentiment with a bit more reservation, her demeanor shuttering down into the usual cool professionalism.

"Did you come to help us set up for the meeting too?" Ryoma asked casually.

Rick looked around the room and noticed how her tidy office had been turned into to a mini conference room for the meeting. He kicked himself for not thinking that she might have needed help a bit sooner. Not that he could have helped much at the moment. Even forgetting about the fact that he was still wearing a sling, to immobilize his shoulder, he was forbidden from doing any manual work that might strain his still healing ribs.

Even while awaiting a response to his polite inquiry, Ryoma kept on working, moving around some chairs as Rick grunted out what could pass as an assent. 'He's probably trying to suck up to her by being extra helpful. Did he really think he can get her to fall for him that way?' Rick thought angrily. That anger made him lash out at the one person that was causing all of this confusion in his head and heart.

"What is that?" Rick asked Lisa, his voice sounding much harsher than he intended. At her blank expression, he pointed in the direction of her hands.

Lisa blinked in confusion as she was trying to put down the mound of papers she held in one hand. She looked at the papers in puzzlement, wondering what was so strange about the reports she held.

With an exasperated sigh, he gestured towards the other hand that was holding what amounted to her whole breakfast.

It took her a few seconds to catch on, but then Lisa responded. "A cereal bar," she replied slowly, the silent 'duh' permeating the air.

"You seriously cannot tell me that that is what you are having for breakfast."

She gave him an arched look and asked, "Are you my nanny?"

"Lisa, we've talked about this, that's not good for you. I'll go and get you something. It's not like I am doing anything else that's helpful right now," he replied bitterly.

"That will not be necessary." She said in a clipped tone.

They were both on edge after their tumultuous night and morning thoughts, and thus started reverting to their old ways. In the back of his mind, Rick realized that he was antagonizing Lisa on purpose, probably because he was upset with the whole situation and he just wanted to lash out. And although in his hearts of hearts he knew he was wrong, he couldn't stop himself from frowning back at her. The dark feelings he had been trying to escape bubbling to the surface, almost drowning him and he realized that he had not done a good job at managing them. He was angry at himself, at his removal from his duties, his estrangement from Minmay, his confusion over his emerging feelings for Lisa, the fact that he was alone...all of that had been weighing heavily on him lately. He had tried to avoid thinking about it in the past, but now that he was laid up, he had more time to ponder these things, and the confusing thoughts were drowning him.

Feeling the tension in the room, Ryoma jumped in and said, "Captain Hunter is right. You should have a full breakfast and a coffee refill. How about I'll go get it, Captain Hayes? Captain Hunter you should not be straining your injuries."

Lisa didn't want to be ungrateful, so she allowed him to go. "Thanks a lot for all your help Ryoma. I would not have been able to do this without you," Lisa said as the samurai turned to leave.

"It was my pleasure, Captain Hayes," Ryoma responded. Out of the corner of his eye, he caught the bright blue eyes of the other man and he was taken aback by Captain Hunter's obvious dislike of him. With a muttered goodbye, he left, closing the door behind him, all the while puzzled about the young Captain's reaction to him.

After Ryoma was gone, Lisa turned to Rick with an angry look. "See what you did?" she said frustrated.

Rick just turned his face mulishly away from her. At the childish action, Lisa rolled her eyes and took a deep, calming breath. She knew how this song and dance could go if she let it get away from her, and she made it a point to not give in. Therefore, she decided to be the bigger person and not lash back at him. Lisa sat down and patted the cushion next to her. Rick looked at her, and like a dejected puppy, approached her.

After he sat down, she tried again, in a softer voice. "What is it, Rick? You are usually not like this. I know that you are frustrated with this whole situation, and you would like to go back to your regular duties, but don't think that you are not needed."

"I know, I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me." Looking at her expression, he lowered his head in shame. "Ok, I do know. I hate being a grump about this but I just hate not being in the cockpit with my team. I feel useless. But you are right, it's not like I'm not doing anything." His voice sounded dejected. "Don't worry about it, I'll get over it. I can be a big boy about it."

Lisa was about to make a joke about it if the situation had not been so tense. It seemed that there was more to what Rick was saying, and this situation was the tip of the iceberg of whatever was troubling him, so she refrained from levity at the moment.

Rick looked at her strangely and lightly asked, "What, I give you the perfect set up and you don't even take take a shot at it?"

Lisa looked at the humor that sparked in his baby blue eyes, making them more electric. She realized how much she had missed his good humor after the tense week they'd gone though after his accident. She couldn't help the fond look she gave him. "I was trying to be sensitive, and now you've ruined it," she replied with a scoff, which Rick responded with a quiet laugh.

"Well, I will take the reprieve for what it is. But I do not expect to be treated like a baby anymore; I can take a licking from that sharp tongue of yours." Realizing what he had said once the words were out of his mouth, Rick's eyes widened in a panic.

He could feel his ears getting warm and he hoped his embarrassment was not too obvious. What the hell had he been thinking? He was trying to get their relationship back to normal, and here he was, overthinking his comments for double entendres. God, could this get more awkward? Lisa looked at him, her eyes clouding with bemusement. Wildly, Rick looked around, trying to find something to distract her with before she really thought about the comment and the innuendo couched into it. His eyes fell on the stack of papers she had placed on the table previously. He recognized them as the files on the rest of his team and he grabbed the top one swiftly.

"So, what are your thoughts on who could be the lead on the field?" he asked, changing the subject.

Lisa blinked at the sudden change in conversation and a small, adorable frown of confusion creased her brow. Rick avoided her gaze, trying to avoid the temptation he had of smoothing out said frown with his fingers.

A few terse seconds passed before Lisa responded. "Well, I have two candidates in mind, but I would like to hear your opinion before we make a decision about it. I told you I wanted to hear your thoughts first, remember?"

"Oh, yeah, I remember now," Rick said quickly, happy she had taken the change of topic in stride. She was still looking at him strangely, as if she knew there was something odd going on, but he could work with this. "What a coincidence, I had two in mind too, although I'm leaning more towards Daigo than Kugo. What do you think? Who made it on your shortlist?"

Lisa and Rick discussed the pro and cons of both candidates, knowing that they had some time before the rest of the group came to join them for the meeting. The murmur of their voices reached the other side of the closed door, where unbeknownst to them, a figure stood quietly, unmoved since exiting the door.

Even though he couldn't hear exactly what they were talking about, Ryoma could still hear the cadence of their voices. He wasn't eavesdropping, per se, that was not his intention. It was more of an evidence gathering mission.

Ryoma was a former samurai, trained in spying and tracking services. When he had found himself without a home because of the Madokters, he had decided to try his fortune by following the footsteps of his childhood friend. He had been received with open arms by Daigo and his sister Saori, and he had been content with his new job in the military that his friend served in. It was for a good cause and he had found himself comfortable in his current situation.

Ryoma was generally a man of simple tastes and simple requests. He had a job that he enjoyed, but he found himself at the point in his life where he wanted other things. While none of the available women in Mechakon had grabbed his eye because of their shallowness, the moment he had laid eyes on Captain Hayes, his attention had been truly caught. It wasn't just her natural beauty and the elegance, it was the air of calm and confidence that surrounded her. He always respected strong women, and Captain Hayes seemed to be the epitome of all that he admired. So he had made it his mission to get close to her, studying her habits to woo her properly.

Although she had been spooked at first, he had managed to integrate himself into her daily life, to the point that she did not seem bothered by his presence anymore, but that she seemed to welcomed the company. The more he observed her day-to-day activities, the more he realized how much Captain Hunter was a steady part of her life. Ever since the first few days after the Macross crew arrived, Hunter had been a constant presence around her, almost as much as Ryoma himself. And while Ryoma was trying to integrate into her routine, Captain Hunter was deeply ingrained in her life in ways that Ryoma had not realized until now. Ever since last week, when Captain Hunter had been away from her, her demeanor had seemed downcast and overburdened with responsibilities and worries. But now, he could hear the uplifting tone in her voice as she addressed the man in her office.

Ryoma froze, finally realizing what many others had already seen and subtly hinted at, there was more between them than what they let on. And even if Captain Hayes and Captain Hunter were not aware of that fact yet, and even if they fought to deny it, there were feelings that needed to be addressed.

With these troubled thoughts, he went to the spacious kitchen that fed all the people of Santore. By now, the rush of breakfast was done and he could have the peace that he needed as he gathered a small plate for Captain Hayes. He was so deep in thought that he didn't realize there was someone else there.

"Hey, why the long face?"

Ryoma pulled himself out of his thoughts to see the smirking face of his oldest friend. Daigo was so carefree, Ryoma sometimes envied the way he lived his life. And while he knew it was mostly an act, there was a certain rebelliousness that still remained untamed under the surface. Even now, Ryoma could see through the nonchalance that Daigo tried to project. Daigo thought he was getting away with it but Ryoma knew him too well. His old friend was concerned about him, but was trying to hide it. If only Daigo knew that he could read him like a book!

The presence of his friend and the simple question were enough to pull him out of his funk, but not enough to lift his spirits. He gave his friend a considering gaze. Could he ask Daigo for confirmation of his fears? Daigo worked close enough with the both of them. And as much as he pretended not to care about anything but himself, Daigo was rather observant and astute.

"Do you think Captain Hayes is involved with Captain Hunter?"

Daigo did a double take at the question, almost toppling over as he stiffened from the relaxed posture he had a minute ago. Any other time, Ryoma would have laughed at the clumsy movement of his otherwise graceful friend, but he didn't feel like it at the moment. In fact, the closed expression on his friend's face, and the way that Daigo avoided his eyes gave him the answer he needed.

"I see…" Ryoma murmured, busying himself with filling up the plate.

"Well, I wouldn't say they are together…" Daigo said weakly.

"But she's in love with him."

"Well, she does feel strongly for him, more than anyone else it seems," Daigo prevadicated. He didn't want to break his friend's heart, but at the same time, he didn't want to give him any false hope. In fact, he had tried to hint to Ryoma that he might want to set his sights elsewhere but he didn't want to come out and say it in so many words.

"And he feels the same about her too?"

"Ugh, Ryoma, you are killing me here! You know I'm not good at this stuff!" Daigo made an exaggerated jazz motion with his hands, indicating his displeasure. An electric blue eye peeked at Ryoma through Daigo's ridiculously long bangs, but Ryoma did not smile at his friend's antics. There was time for levity, but this was not it, the young man realized. He slumped on the table behind him. "I have no idea," Daigo admitted softly. "He's a bit harder to read. I can say he's the only one aside from you that cares about bringing her food and making sure she's taken care of, so if I were to draw conclusions based on that…"

"Say no more. I understand," Ryoma said as he raised the plate and turned to leave the room. He wanted to sneak in the plate before the rest of the people came for the meeting. Checking the clock on the wall, he saw he had at least fifteen minutes before the meeting started.

"You are still going to bring her food?"

Ryoma raised his eyebrow at his friend's question.

"That's who you were preparing this for, right? I saw you had breakfast already."

"You sure are nosy," Ryoma answered without turning around. "Just because I don't have a chance right now, doesn't mean that I cannot do something nice for her. Even if it may not be as frequent from now on."

"Here, let me go with you. I have to head that way for my training session. I'm paired with Takeru today of all people. Today's gonna suuuuuuck!" Daigo exaggerated, bringing a smile to Ryoma's face.

The two friends joked around as they reached the Captain's office. Aside from Captain Hunter and Captain Hayes, the only other person that had arrived early was Captain Hawk. All three were talking quietly, but Rick was the first to see the two men when they entered the room. With a quiet word, he detached himself from the conversation and walked over to them. Daigo could feel Ryoma tensing next to him as the young Captain approached them. Daigo felt defensive for his friend and stood tall next to him in solidarity. Captain Hunter seemed to not have noticed as he seemed preoccupied by something.

Ryoma thought that Captain Hunter was going to take the plate from him and claim all the glory for himself. And as much as Ryoma was resigned to it, he still felt resentment at the young man approaching him. When the black-haired man reached him, Rick raised his arm towards Ryoma, and Ryoma resignedly raised the plate to him, but Captain Hunter made no move to grab it. Instead, the other man lightly touched Ryoma's arm and a small smile warmed Rick's face.

"Thanks for bringing that Ryoma. That was really nice of you to offer. Why don't you leave it on her desk for now? People are going to start coming in soon so she'll eat when she can."

Ryoma was taken aback by the man's actions. He was not expecting anything like what had happened, especially after the harsh looks he received earlier from the young man. As the young Captain talked, Ryoma studied his face for any sign of deceit, and only found sincerity and gratefulness on his open features. With a nod, Ryoma headed over to do what Captain Hunter had asked, his opinion of the man slowly changing. As he passed Captain Hayes and Barry, she turned to him, nodding discreetly at him as her eyes seemed to thank him.

Ryoma decided that it was his turn to make a decision. He would either stand by the sidelines until they figured it out on their own, or actively help them get together. Regardless of his feelings, his lady's heart was taken for the time being and there was no space for him at the moment. He was grateful that if he had to lose her affections to someone else, at least it would be to someone that also seemed to care for her well-being.

#

Rick watched Ryoma discreetly place the plate on her desk. After his talk with Lisa, he had felt bad and had decided to approach Ryoma and offer up an olive branch. After all, he should be glad someone else was taking care of Lisa when he couldn't.

Realizing that he had an audience, he turned to Daigo, who was still in front of him, silently watching what had just transpired. Rick clapped his hand lightly on the other man's shoulder, only twinging slightly at how the movement pulled on his ribs.

"Daigo, I would like to talk to you after the meeting. Actually both Captain Hayes and I want to talk with you. Will 1300 hours work for you?"

"That's fine," Daigo replied. "Did I do something wrong?" he asked, puzzled. He had been on his best behaviour lately, no pranks or a toe out of line…at least that he knew of.

"No," Rick said and laughed lightly at the other's apprehensive face. "On the contrary. We'll fill you in later, but trust me, it's not a bad thing."

"Ok." Daigo shrugged. Whatever it was seemed like it could wait, and Captain Hunter would not be smiling if it was a bad thing. In fact, the Captain's spirits seemed almost to be back to his usual good mood. "You are looking well today, Captain Hunter."

Rick scoffed and replied, "Don't be fooled. That might be a combination of caffeine and the meds finally kicking in."

"Not a bad thing then," Daigo smirked.

Their conversation was cut short by the greetings of the other people that were starting to file in for the meeting. Koji in particular, smiled as he made a beeline towards them.

Daigo greeted the warrior- turned-scientist. "Well, it seems like you guys are ready to start. I'll take that as my cue to leave. I don't know who will be babysitting us today but I don't want to piss them off." With a two fingered salute, the long-haired man left. He did a discreet look back at the room to look for Ryoma and found him talking to Commodore Fokker. Satisfied that his friend seemed to be handling things for now, he left the room to head towards the training grounds.