A/N: Greetings,
I know I've been somewhat of a silent-author and haven't been doing any AN's or replying to many reviews, but I'm here now! Yay!
I had a lot of fun with Chapter 11 and showing Regina and Emma's relationships from the perspectives of different residents, so I thought I would expand on that a little bit. This chapter revolves around Big Mama G (aka Granny). Throughout my story she's been somewhat of an all-knowing outside figure, so I thought I would bring in a little Granny character/story and who she is as a resident and (in my opinion) a key figure in Storybrooke as a functioning society.
Non-related note: Got some feedback about Jefferson and Grace in CH11, yes I intended their set up as voyeurs to be a bit creepy, but silly. Storybrooke to me has a lot of suspect individuals whose strange habits and set-ups are rarely addressed in fics, so I thought I would tell what I liked to think happened with post-curse Jefferson/Grace. And use it as a possible spin-off fic.
Anyway, thank you for reading! I'm happy that so many people are latching on to this silly, little, romantic-comedyesque fic. I would like to hear everyone's thoughts and possibly get some constructive criticism. Shout out to JQUACKERS. Tell it like it is, friend.
-MLEther
Punctuality, patience, diligence, courage. This is her credo, her mantra. When she was a child, her grandfather pulled her onto his lap and taught her the most important lesson of her life, "Always be watchful, and don't stand by and let people act a damn fool." She sat in bed smiling to herself, thinking about that old man with his grizzly long white beard, rough workman hands, and bouncing icy blue eyes. She loved sitting on his lap and watch his chewing tobacco-covered whiskers jump up and down as he would recount little tales about foxes, owls, mice, and all the other forest creatures that surrounded their small world. The sun crept into her window, whipping her out of nostalgia and straight back into working mode. "Time to open." She flung the covers off and marched to the adjoining room. Swinging the door open widely she bellowed, "Time to get up, Rubes! We've got a town to run!"
In a small way, Granny liked to think that she actually did run the town. If all the incriminating things she overheard suddenly grew wings and took flight, the whole town would crumble in utter chaos. It wasn't her fault that the citizens of Storybrooke constantly felt compelled to conduct their extremely personal business in her very public diner. She also couldn't help the fact that her wolf blood granted her with a sharpened sense of hearing. She often considered this trait a gift, except when Dr. Whale would stride in like a peacock to meet some poor unsuspecting woman for a date.
After getting dressed, she marched back to Ruby's room for her second wake-up call, She then proceeded to walk down the stairs to the diner. She gripped the rail as she moved slowly down the staircase. When did I get so old? She thought to herself. "HA! What am I talking about? I'm exactly the age I need to be!" She said out loud to herself. Reaching the bottom of the stairs, she flipped a few switches and the lights of the diner came on. "Oven on, grill on, stoves on. Coffee on." She walked into the refrigerator and pulled out crates of produce, beginning prep work. Half way through peeling a pile of potatoes, she heard Ruby stumble down the stairs and come yawning into the kitchen. She whipped out a mug and poured coffee for her granddaughter. She never drank coffee. She was very adamant about not depending on substances, with the exception of her occasional pipe smoking after a long day.
She watched her granddaughter shuffle into the next room to begin setting up. Ever since the curse broke, she had started looking at her granddaughter in a whole new light. Either it was the curse or the mere passage of time that altered her Ruby, but she no longer saw a naive little girl, instead she saw a confident, sassy, and kind young woman. She liked the sassy part the best, though she would never admit that to Ruby. She smiled to herself as she dumped a heap of bacon on the stove, ten minutes until opening and Leeroy will be here first thing for his plate of bacon.
She knew everyone's schedules like clockwork. Leeroy was always first to arrive. He would get a plate of bacon and two thick cups of coffee with a dash of sugar. Next would be the Blue Fairy, she would pick up a bagel and chamomile tea, Archie would arrive later for a well rounded breakfast while he read the newspaper, then the rest of the dwarves would stumble in for their coffees and sausages, on weekends Charming would stroll in grabbing a couple frothy lattes and some pastries.
Ruby pulled the blinds open, flipped the sign on the door to "open," and the door immediately chimed. Granny could hear Leeroy's heavy feet shuffle across the floor as he took his usual place at the counter. The morning went as it usually did, same orders, same faces, minimal conversation… lunch was usually when all the action happened.
Promptly at noon, Belle would be the first to arrive. Ruby would take a short break before the rush to gossip with Belle. Granny never took a liking to gossip, if she did- oh the things she could tell. But she's no sadist. She's seen enough of the world and the humans that occupy it to know that sometimes people need to have humbling moments of stupidity, and they shouldn't be judged for it. It is their character, and the manner in which they conduct themselves in dire situations that proves to her who they really are.
Next to arrive would be the Mayor or the Sheriff. One of them would come in and pick an order up to-go, but ever since they started heavily planning their wedding, the two took to sticking around huddled in a corner booth, draped over that big, white book of Regina's. Granny found it to be utter nonsense, but she knew how the Mayor operated and was often grateful for her sense of thoroughness and attention to detail. She often thanked the gods that Storybrooke is run by women.
Sheriff Swan, with all her clumsiness, was the perfect peace-maker. A little impulsive and about as stable on her legs as Bambi perhaps, but a solid force of protection. Snow, who sat as chair of the reestablished EF council, remained the constant champion of the underdog- a quality Granny admired and felt was rare among the Royals. Blue was incredibly logical, able to observe scenarios from multiple angles. She's awfully rational for a fairy. Granny snorted at this thought. She didn't approve of fairies, they put on too much of a flashy show of sparkles and smiley faces. She glanced over at the booth now occupied by the Sheriff and the Mayor. They were wrapped in each other's arms giggling. Emma had put a dab of foam from her cocoa on her nose and Regina licked it off and proceeded to kiss the blonde. Granny rolled her eyes and turned around to polish glasses. "And that giggly little school girl is our mayor." She sighed to herself.
To be honest with herself, Granny actually really enjoyed post-curse Regina. Just after their memories were restored, she was inclined to crossbow Regina through the skull and was a part of the first mob to storm to Regina's house. She quickly became disillusioned after hearing Emma defend Regina, and noticing that the mob was simply a physical manifestation of the Herd Effect. And that, is the one thing Granny fears the most. A group of people irrationally moved to blind anger has caused more damage than any individual throughout history. Sure what Regina did was absolutely awful and Granny wasn't ready to forgive and forget, but her grandfather's words echoed in her ears, "Always be watchful, and don't stand by and let people act a damn fool."
Being one with a difficult past, she felt that in some small way- she could have become Regina if she hadn't suddenly been charged with looking after Ruby. She thought about Henry, and how much Henry alone had changed Regina. A thin line of solidarity between Granny and the former Queen that day, and as the months passed she would often join Emma on the Mayor's porch- crossbow in hand. As more time passed and Regina would occasionally stop by for coffee and something to eat, they would engage in small conversation. It was then that Granny noticed her sarcastic sense of courtesy, her sense of refinement and dignity, her patience, her diligence, and her courage. She was never one for idol gossip, granted most of the gossip would be of her, regardless her questions were always very respectable and Granny admired it.
She was suddenly jolted from her thoughts by a loud slam. Regina had slammed the book shut and was giving her soon-to-be spouse a death glare. Oh lords. She rolled her eyes and sat back to watch the almost daily scene unfurl. She could nearly map out the situation without hearing a word, it always went the same way. Emma would cross her arms and jerk her shoulders up and down, Regina would proceed to scan the room before moving in to whisper something while making some sort of condescending gesture (usually poking Emma's shoulder with her index finger), then Emma would push away and her arms would start flailing and she'd start stuttering, Regina would roll her eyes and rub her temples, then Emma would get flustered and storm out leaving Regina alone. Granny watched the scene act out exactly how she had predicted, and just after the Sheriff stormed out the door she began the countdown. "3…2…1…" the door would chime and Emma would shuffle back in and sit next to Regina pulling her close and placing her head on her shoulder. The Mayor would wrap an arm around her and they would quietly resolve the argument, give a quick peck on the lips, and get back to planning before going back to work.
"It's almost creepy how you do that." Came Ruby's voice next to her.
"Comes with the job, Rubes."
"It's like you know Storybrooke inside out."
Just then, the dwarves came bursting through the door laughing and singing, ready for their lunch. Granny rolled her sleeves up and turned her head towards Ruby.
"Honey, I am Storybrooke." She marched back into the kitchen prepared for the onslaught of seven large orders.