Ia wasn't sure how long she spent in her room after Yukari left, doing nothing but listening to music, letting it fill her mind and reverberate her insides, shutting out everything that had happened, shutting out everything she didn't want to think about. She turned the volume up so high, there was nothing in her ears but music, painful in its volume, though Ia endured the pain for the sake of drowning out the pain. She didn't hear the front door open and close when Mayu came back, didn't hear the sound of feet approaching her room, didn't hear the knocking on her door. It was only after Mayu yanked the headphones off of Ia's ears when Ia reluctantly returned to her non-musical reality.

"Ia! You should really turn down the music," Mayu said with a frown. "Anyways, I got dinner. Made too much lunch today at my friend's, so we got lots of leftovers."

"Oh," said Ia dully, swinging her legs out of bed. Even though Mayu was standing right next to her, she sounded swimmy and distant. "Yeah, I'll be right down."

Mayu paused and looked at Ia askance. "Is everything okay?"

Ia hesitated. Or at least, she thought she did, but she must have told Mayu something, because Mayu's eyes widened. "What?"

"Yukari," Ia whispered, hanging her head. "She…um," it was too hard to speak the next few words, but it seemed as though Mayu got the idea anyways, judging from her stricken expression.

"She rejected you?" Mayu practically screamed.

Ia nodded numbly. All of her feelings seemed so far away. The moment Yukari spoke those fatal words, Ia felt as though she was thrown all the way back to the beginning. She didn't want to go outside. She didn't want to talk to people. All she wanted was to go back to her room and bury herself in music, bury herself so deep, she would never have to think of anything at all. That was exactly what she did, exactly what she wished she was still doing. Just thinking about Yukari's name was hard, thinking about school was hard, thinking about everything Yukari ever touched – movies, the mall, her friends at school – it was all too much. The pain was simply too great for her to want to comprehend.

Mayu took a deep breath and paced, running her fingers through her hair agitatedly. "She rejected you. She rejected you. I can't believe it," Mayu scoffed. The more she paced, the more her hands tightened into fists in her hair. "I really can't! What is she thinking…ugh, forget it, I know what she's thinking. And in that case, wow. What a coward."

"She's not a coward," Ia said.

Mayu shot Ia an annoyed glance. "Not a…Ia, she rejected you, why are you defending her? You know, I really can't believe her. Though I guess I shouldn't be surprised, what with her oblivious act."

"Oblivious act?"

"Come on. You didn't know? Yukari knew about SeeU's feelings. I don't know if she knew about yours, but she definitely knew that SeeU liked her. And what did she do? Reject her in the most cowardly way possible. For real," Mayu snorted, "I can't believe that, once again, Yukari is just going to run away."

Now this was getting to be too much. Even though Yukari didn't like her back, Ia didn't want to just sit here and have Mayu slander Yukari left and right. "Mayu, come on. Yukari's not a coward. She…she just," Ia squeezed her eyes shut as her heart compressed like a vise, "she…doesn't return my feelings. That doesn't make her scared."

"Doesn't return your…" Mayu laughed disbelievingly. "You are so dense. Doesn't return your feelings? Is that what you really think? A little wake up call for you, girls don't act all blushy-blushy and give cute little music box presents and rearrange their entire social lives to accommodate someone who's just a friend. Girls don't call their friends and talk nonstop to them about someone who's just another gal pal. And before you ask me how I know this…SeeU told me, okay? Yukari literally could not shut up about you."

There was a short silence for a moment as the words sank themselves into Ia's head, one by one. There was too much in there for her to tackle all at once, and thinking about it was making her head dizzy. The pieces were coming together, but the picture they implied couldn't possibly be true. It just couldn't. Because why would Yukari…

"Ia, you idiot. Yukari likes you too. She's just too much of a coward to admit it."

Ia drew in a sharp breath at the words. Her heart felt strange and wobbly as hope entered, spreading through her veins like an injection. No way. Yukari…Yukari returned her feelings? "But…but why?"

"Hell if I know and hell if I care, and you shouldn't either. Seriously, you're way too good for this girl. At least you got it done over break so you have some time to recover, I know it sucks you have to see her at school still but…" Mayu trailed off and stared at Ia. "Ia? What are you doing?"

Ia was already getting up, already putting on her coat. She barely heard what Mayu said, her every thought laser-focused on Yukari. Yukari liked her too. Now that Ia thought back on it, it made so much sense, considering everything that has happened, considering Yukari's recent behavior. SeeU's depression too was explained now...she must have known Yukari's feelings, otherwise, why would she have said those words on the last day she was here? And while Yukari rejected Ia, Ia was already rewinding back the rejection, playing it in her mind, noting Yukari's careful word usage. Not I don't feel the same way. Not I don't like you back. Only the vague I can't accept your feelings.

Ia had assumed back then that it meant that Yukari simply did not feel the same way. It had made sense, after all, that someone as popular at Yukari wouldn't want to date a shy wallflower like Ia. The moment Yukari rejected her, it was as though a switch was flipped from life after Yukari to life before Yukari. The loss of confidence, the loss of friendship, the loss of all the colorful emotions Ia had experienced...it had been so sudden after the rejection, and yet, so expected. Perhaps that was why Ia was so calm afterwards. At the time, being with someone as perfect as Yukari had been a dream that was too good to be real, so why would Ia be surprised when she inevitably woke up?

But it was all rationalization now. Now that Ia knew Yukari's feelings, she was beginning to regain herself. And there was one clear path, one clear thing, for her to do.

"You're kidding me," said Mayu. "You are not."

"I have to," Ia said, rushing down the stairs and stuffing her feet in sneakers. Mayu followed her down, saying things that Ia couldn't hear. All of Ia's thoughts were devoted to Yukari, all of her Mayu's words blocked out by the beating sound of her own heart. She opened the door and set out into the winter night, slamming it shut behind her. The cold air hit her like a blow, the icy wind stinging her face, but she ran anyways. She knew Yukari's neighborhood, though she didn't know her actual address. Yukari, however, had described the appearance of her house before (though it was vague – two stories, painted blue), and Ia held the description in her mind as she ran down dark sidewalks sporadically lit by streetlamps, rounded corners with quick glances at street signs for orientation. It wasn't far. It couldn't be far if Yukari walked back home

And sure enough, after a few minutes, Ia slowed, panting, in front of a house with two stories, painted blue. There were lights on, but what Ia noticed the most was a stuffed purple rabbit in front of one of the second floor windows. That, and she belatedly realized, the little sticker on the side of the mailbox that read 'YUZUKI'.

Ia clenched her hands into fists and took a deep breath of the wintry air, gathering up her resolve. Then, she walked forward, and pressed the doorbell. She heard shuffling, then the door opened. Standing before her was a man, tall and surprisingly young-looking for someone Ia assumed was Yukari's father. He was dressed in a shirt and sweats, and looked inquisitively at Ia, who said a greeting she barely remembered.

"Are you one of Yukari's friends?" he asked.

Ia nodded, breathless. "Yeah. Can I talk to her, please?"

He smiled amiably and nodded, turning back and shouting Yukari's name. Ia heard Yukari shout a "Coming!' back, and held her breath. She saw Yukari skidding down the stairs behind her father, dressed in a shirt and pajama-pants with her hoodie over it, and as she approached the door her eyes widened.

"Ia?" Yukari asked, dumbly.

Ia nodded and turned towards Yukari's father. "Can I talk to her alone, please?"

Yukari's father only laughed and nodded. "Of course. Don't forget your coat, Yukari."

Yukari looked as though she wasn't quite sure whether this was reality or a dream as she retrieved her coat and put it on, and her father, quietly chuckling, ushered her outside and closed the door behind him. Ia had to wonder what exactly about all this he found so amusing. Maybe because Ia was also dressed in her pajamas with a coat over it.

Yukari sighed and scratched the back of her head. She looked tired, and far less upbeat than Ia had ever seen her. Her eyes were slightly puffy, and her posture was slouched. She inclined her head towards the street. "Let's talk in the park."

-o-o-o-

The park was completely empty, and consisted only of a set of wooden benches around a small sandbox, a swingset, and a playset with tubes, stairs, and slides. It was bare and hushed, surrounded by quietly slumbering houses as the moon shone bright, reflecting off the metal links of the swings. Yukari, hands in pockets, walked over and took a seat on one. Ia sat next to her, and for a while, Yukari said nothing, her eyes focused on her sandal-clad feet as the swingset creaked. Moments that felt like hours passed, marked only by the rustle of trees and the murmuring of wind.

Then, Yukari spoke, her voice ringing in the icy air. "So…what is it?"

"I want to talk," said Ia, surprised by the strength of her voice. "About earlier."

"What is there to talk about?" Yukari asked. Her voice sounded so lifeless, Ia shuddered. Yukari had never sounded like this before. As she looked at Yukari's bleak profile silhouetted against the frosty park, Ia became acutely aware that she was dealing with a Yukari who was, up until now, hidden; a Yukari that wanted to stay hidden. "I told you. I can't accept your feelings."

Yukari was still looking away. This won't do. Ia got up from the swings, prompting a surprised glance from Yukari, and walked over to her such that she was standing in front of her. It was strange to be looking down at Yukari, Ia thought absentmindedly. She had always been taller than her. Looking at her now, Yukari looked far more vulnerable than Ia had remembered seeing her. Had her shoulders always been this thin? Had her skin always been so pale?

"Why not?" Ia asked.

Yukari swallowed and looked down, opening her mouth to speak, but Ia put a hand on the swing's chain link and Yukari stopped.

"Look at me, please," Ia said, her voice soft. She wasn't about to let Yukari wriggle away from explaining. It was harder to do so, when looking straight into another's eyes.

Yukari nodded and did so, her gaze wide. "I…." the word escaped from Yukari's lips as puffs of white air appeared between her breaths, like vague speech bubbles. "I just…I can't."

"Please," said Ia, tightening her grip on the chain. She felt the beginnings of tears prick her eyes, and she wanted to look away from Yukari's, but she couldn't. Strange – it was hard to look, and it was hard to not. Ia was arrested, caught in suspension. Her heart was beating quick, and it felt like confessing all over again, but worse, somehow. This felt final, in a way the confession hadn't been. If this went poorly, Ia knew in the back of her mind that she and Yukari would never talk again. It would simply be too awkward, too hard, to recover from this naked display of their feelings. It was too late to turn back, though perhaps in some ways it had always been too late, ever since Ia met Yukari, to have ever turned back. "Please, Yukari."

Yukari bit her lip and hesitated a second too long, and Ia's impatience overwhelmed her.

"Yukari," said Ia. "I know you like me."

That did it. Yukari practically flung herself out of the swing, forcing Ia to take a step back. Her eyes were almost comically wide. "W-what?"

"You know what I said."

Yukari broke the link of their gaze again, forcing her eyes to look at the expanse of houses to her right as her lips pulled up in an agitated, pained smile. "C-come on, Ia. What makes you think that?"

There was a dead silence as Yukari's words wormed their way down Ia's ear canals to her stomach, where they sat and festered until Ia couldn't stand it anymore. Why was Yukari denying it, when to Ia it was suddenly all so clear? All of the memories of Yukari's actions flashed back in Ia's mind, and all of a sudden Yukari's deflection seemed ridiculous, obviously false, something that even a child could see through. Did Yukari really think that such an obvious lie would deter Ia, after everything she's told her about her feelings, after everything they've been through together as friends, after Ia promised her so many times that she would be there for her? Ia's hands had tightened into fists, and she couldn't control the irritation bubbling up in her chest, the hot exasperation that suddenly powered her arms and legs to stride forward and grab Yukari by her thin wrists. Ia didn't feel the slightest bit of anxiety doing so, and didn't even think about the contact; it barely registered amidst all the fury in her body. Anger fueled Ia's next words, which she practically spat. "Stop it! That's…that's such a lie! How could you just stand there and say that? We're friends! Why are you looking away? Why are you lying to me? Why are you running away when…" Ia took a deep breath, and the next words came out in an agitated, impassioned rush, "why are you running away when you like me too?"

Throughout it all, Yukari had stared, eyes wide, even when Ia grabbed her. As the words went on, Yukari's expression shifted, her eyebrows knitting together, her eyes full of some conflict that Ia couldn't understand, and when Ia finished, when the last words were thick in the air, when there was nothing but Ia's ragged breathing and trembling hands, Yukari responded, her voice weak, repeating words like a broken toy. "Because I…because...because I…"

"Because?" Ia repeated, half in impatience, half in anger at Yukari's hesitation. "Because what?"

"Because…Because I'm scared!" Yukari shouted, taking a step forward against Ia's hands. "Because it'll hurt both of us!" Yukari was trembling under Ia's grip, her voice rapidly disintegrating in a premonition of tears. "Because love doesn't last, because I'm messed up, because you deserve someone better, because I don't want to wake up one day and feel anything less than what I feel for you now!"

Another silence, and Ia slowly eased herself out of anger as the words eased themselves into her. There it was, then – the confirmation of Yukari's feelings for her. Her grip on Yukari's wrists loosened, though she didn't let go of them yet. Tears were running down Yukari's face now, tracing the contours of her cheeks, and Ia held her breath and stared at her. Never before had Yukari seemed so fragile. The movie incident so long ago could barely even compare to this. That was…that was just some dumb thing about Ia's touch problem combined with her teenage hormones, but this? This was Yukari's soul laid bare.

"Why…" Ia said, barely aware of when she asked it. "Why do you think that?" Such thoughts hadn't touched Ia's mind at all. The possibility of the end of love? How could that be true when her love felt infinite right now? The pain? What was pain placed next to the happiness Ia felt when she was with Yukari?

"Because…" Yukari shoulders slumped. "Because of everything. Because this is just…this is just the kind of person I am."

"What do you mean? Tell me," Ia squeezed Yukari's wrists gently, a small gesture of reassurance. "Please."

Yukari bit her lip, took in a hiccupping breath. "I…my parents…we moved around a lot, and…well, their relationship…um," Yukari shook her head, as though to clear it, and began again. She started out slow, stammering occasionally, though the more she talked, the clearer her voice became. She began with her memory of her parents arguing in the apartment. Then, the moves, the steady losses of friendships that caused Yukari to seek out protection for herself by only keeping friendships at the most surface of surface levels. Then, the disintegration of her parents' marriage. Her father's many affairs, her mother's prison made of money. The halting relationships Yukari had where she felt nothing at all. SeeU's friendship, which opened Yukari's eyes to deeper relationships again. SeeU's crush, which Yukari didn't realize, and when she did, handled it in the most cowardly way. And now, SeeU's silence, for which Yukari blamed herself.

When Yukari finished, there was no sound other than the faint rustle of leaves, the occasional chirping of a cricket, the rushing of the wind. The two of them had sat on the ground sometime during the course of Yukari's story, though Ia still held on to Yukari's hands. When had it changed from wrists to hands? Must have been at some point, but to Ia's surprise she hadn't noticed at all.

Ia bit her lip and rolled Yukari's story around her mind. She never knew this part of Yukari. But of course she wouldn't. For all of Ia's worries about not knowing Yukari well enough, Ia was almost certain that Yukari would have never told her about these things had Ia not confessed and driven them both to this situation. But still, now that she knew, she was glad. It suddenly seemed that the Yukari with her now was no longer someone to be idolized, to be placed on the lofty pedestal Ia had her on before. Indeed, after tonight, Ia learned that Yukari was far from perfect. But that, in its own way, was better. Yukari was better. She was human. She was someone Ia could touch. Someone with fears, someone with insecurities…the Yukari of before had kept those out of sight, obfuscating them with smiles and deflections. The Yukari now didn't.

And for that, Ia felt a throbbing pain in her heart, felt tears prick her eyes and fall freely down her cheeks. For all Yukari said about her fears that Ia would be unhappy with someone like her, Ia felt the complete opposite. The story only made her love Yukari more, for it filled out the image Ia had of Yukari before with much needed shadow.

"Wow," Ia said at last, softly.

Yukari breathed out a sigh. "Y-yeah. I'm sorry." A bitter smile. "I'm sure you didn't expect me to be like this, right? I'm supposed to be happy. Optimistic. Fun. And, well, now I'm not any of those."

"That's fine," said Ia. "I…um, I like this more."

Yukari laughed dryly. "What? Really?"

"I mean it," said Ia earnestly, holding tight onto Yukari's hands and looking into her eyes. "I'm happy you told me about yourself. Really happy. I…I've always wanted to know more about you. To be there for you as someone you can tell your problems to. To understand you and support you. I mean," Ia hesitated, her cheeks heating, "that's what love is, right?"

Yukari looked at Ia for a moment, and her lips pulled up in a weary smile. "I heard it's one of the symptoms."

"I know you're scared of this not lasting," said Ia, "but…I think it's worth it. You just have to trust in it. It was scary being friends with you too, you know? I thought I was happy before, in my room, but you showed me that I wasn't. It was just…it was just fake happiness. What I feel now can't even compare to what I felt back then, it was like I was feeling nothing at all. And I was thinking, when I was writing my song, that you can't really experience life without running into things that can end, that can really hurt you, because, um, I think…" Ia paused, "I think that you can only really feel happiness if you make yourself vulnerable. And…and I know that we're young, and that statistically speaking, high school relationships are unstable, and I know that you had some bad relationships, but I don't want to give up what I feel for you right now, and I'm sure…I'm sure you don't really want to too, right?" Ia's eyes sought Yukari's, who was staring back at her, her lips slightly parted. "And…and I know you're thinking, 'What if this doesn't last?', but I want to make it such that you won't think that at all, because I'll make you feel so happy in every moment that you wouldn't even have the time to think about it, and whenever we get close to that point when you're thinking about it, I'll try my hardest so that we'd bounce right back again, and I guess all this was just a really, really long way of saying, um," Ia's throat was getting dry, "I love you, Yukari."

A silence big enough, full enough to encapsulate the universe. It felt as though time had ceased to exist, had ceased to move, it felt as though all that existed in the world was what Ia was seeing reflected in Yukari's eyes right now.

And then, Yukari's face softened in a smile. "That's a pretty good argument."

Ia blushed. "I-it's just how I feel."

Yukari hesitantly covered Ia's hands with her own, looking at Ia with nervous eyes that, for once, didn't seem to hide anything at all. Everything was there on the table now, and when Yukari spoke the next words, it felt as though she was offering that same everything to Ia. "Then…your heart for mine?"

Ia swallowed. Her heart was pounding off the edge of Yukari's acceptance, and her fingers felt tingly and hot under Yukari's. Yukari was trusting her with something incredibly precious, and the fact that she was doing such a thing made Ia's heart swell, almost painfully, almost enough to bring tears to her cheeks. She felt as though she was brimming over with emotions of happiness that she could barely keep in check, she felt as though she could barely breathe.

"Of course," Ia said quietly, moving her hand to squeeze Yukari's. Yukari's eyes widened, and her lips broke out in a tremulous smile that was both smaller and yet more genuine than any smile Ia had seen before, and she leaned forward to rest her head on Ia's shoulder. However, Yukari's shoulders were slightly shaking, and it was only after Ia felt her her shoulder begin to damp when she realized that Yukari was crying.

"Are...are you okay?" Ia asked, bringing one arm up to hug Yukari while the other stayed squeezing her hand.

"Y-yeah," Yukari said into Ia's shoulder, her voice hiccupy. "Just...thank you, Ia."

"You don't need to thank me," said Ia as she stroked Yukari's back.

Yukari laughed, and brought her head back up to look at Ia. Ia felt her face heat up. Yukari's face was incredibly close, and Ia was becoming increasingly aware of the heat in her fingers, the soft puffs of Yukari's breaths, the way Yukari's eyes looked in the moonlight, the proximity of Yukari's lips. Ia bit her lip and tried not to look away, though she was certain that her face was beet-red by now.

"I want to," said Yukari.

"Oh," Ia said, her voice coming out all funny and choked. "O-okay."

Yukari tilted her head slightly to the side and looked at Ia for a few moments before turning her eyes away. "Um," said Yukari softly, her eyes occasionally glancing back at Ia's, "so...I wanted to ask...and it's totally okay if you refuse..."

Ia swallowed, her throat suddenly dry. "What is it?"

Yukari took a breath and looked back at Ia, her purple eyes full of uncertainty, her cheeks deep red. Ia noticed that Yukari's hand was trembling, and Ia squeezed it in an attempt at reassurance, though her own were shaking too. She felt as though her heart was pounding off a cliff. Even though they were outside, Ia hardly felt cold at all. Yukari's eyes glanced back down for a brief moment before looking up at Ia's. "Can I...kiss you?"

Ia felt as though her heart stopped at the question, and her eyes widened. It was such a simple question, yet it felt as though it contained everything inside it. While Ia thought she felt a little scared, it wasn't the bad kind of fear - not at all. Somehow it was...Ia couldn't quite put her finger on it, but it was the kind of fear that was worth it. Perhaps it wasn't fear at all, but desire cloaked in unfamiliarity, because what Ia knew now was that there was nothing she wanted more than Yukari right now.

So, Ia took a breath. "Of course."

At the sound of that, Yukari's lips broke out in a smile, and she brought her hand up to place it on the back of Ia's head. Ia's breath hitched at the feeling of Yukari's fingers threading through her hair as Yukari slowly pulled Ia's face to hers, as she gently pressed soft, tentative lips to Ia's.

And in that moment, the rest of the world may as well not exist.

Hey everyone! I actually had this chapter written up at the same time I uploaded my last one. I was debating a lot between either uploading them together as one chapter, or uploading them separately. Pacing wise, I felt that it might not give the story enough 'space' had I put the last chapter and this one all in one chapter, but on the other hand, I might have ended up giving the story too much 'space' by uploading them separately haha. Anyways, let me know what you all would have preferred so that I can better pace things in the future! Thanks for sticking with me!