"Token's gonna pick us up after work. We're all staying at his house," Craig tells me. "We're going to my house to get my stuff right now though." I swing our conjoined hands, playing a lovely melody in my head. I know we aren't supposed to, but he let me and that makes me very happy. Clyde looks displeased but it's very rare that Craig is so laid back about this stuff and he seems kind of content even. Maybe he wanted to see what it felt like to just do it and not care. Regardless, fuck Clyde, dude. "I want you to meet my parents."
And just like that, the record scratched. I stopped walking but didn't let go of Craig's phalanges and so, as a result he was pulled back- or more so, yanked. I caught him in a completely appropriate way and set him straight by his shoulders. "Craig," I say. "Your parents are religious homophobes. Remember?"
Craig sighs, slowly rolling his eyes. "We avoid your parents- as well as mine. God forbid they become friends cause then they'd be in cahoots and- Jesus Christ- That's too much pressure," I ramble.
Craig yanks his hand back, "It'd be more obvious if I was avoiding them meeting you. I hang out with you so much that they'd notice and get suspicious. If I just introduce you as a new friend then they won't care."
"Craig," I say. "You're a genius, baby." I peck his forehead before he can object.
Clyde starts to snicker. Craig's cheeks darken, "Don't fucking call me that."
"Or what?" I tease him. "You blushed a lot. That's cute." I poke his cheek. Craig glares at me. "You should just quit pretending that what I do annoys you. I know it doesn't really. I think even Clyde knows too so, you don't have to."
"It does," Craig corrects me.
"Maybe a little bit, but I think only because Clyde's here and you're embarrassed." Clyde shrugs and Craig doesn't say anything which proves me right in my opinion. We continue to walk; Clyde with his hands in his pocket and Craig and I hand in hand. "What about you?" I ask Clyde. "Where's your luggage?"
"We keep stuff over there. Token's house is like a second house-"
"Especially since his parents are always gone," Clyde adds.
"I need to feed my guinea pigs… and talk to my parents," Craig says.
"And stock up his dildos."
"Clyde, shut the fuck up," Craig tells the brunette with a jerk of his middle finger in the boy's face.
"I didn't know you were into that…" I say to Craig. "If I had known I would've-"
"Tweek," Craig warns.
I snicker and then keep up my front, "At least now I know what to get you for Christmas."
Clyde begins to laugh loudly. "I'll get him a vibrator and you get him a dildo," he says between laughs.
I smile a little knowing I made Clyde genuinely laugh. "What kind do you favor, Craig? Long or thick- or both?" Clyde laughs harder. "And I also need to know what kind you already have so that I don't accidently get you one you already have."
"Colors," Clyde wheezes. "Designs too; I want this gift to be perfect," he laughs harder.
"Blue," I suggest.
"Oh, my God," Craig mumbles. "Do you think with the type of family and house I live in that I really have the opportunity to buy and stash dildos or even use them for that matter?"
"If you want one, Craig, just ask, dude," Clyde tells the niorette.
"Yeah, man, you can use it at my house," I wink at Craig.
Craig groans, "I'm so over this."
"I'm sorry," I tell him, nuzzling into his hat. It would be his hair if he weren't wearing it which is mildly vexing if I'm being honest. Craig's hair always smells so nice. His hat is okay, I guess.
"Yeah, well, whatever…" Craig looks away. "We're getting close to my house so," he glances at our hands. I can tell he doesn't want to just take his back. As if that would hurt me somehow which isn't not true… I don't know.
Our hands drop as Craig's house comes into view. There's a huge work truck parked in the driveway and I can tell by the way it lacks a white sheet of snow that it's probably only been there a few minutes. I glance at Craig, unsure of whether I should be worried or not.
"What if they already think I'm gay because they've heard about me?"
"They're 'loving Christians', Tweek. They don't hold judgement," Craig says resentfully. The way his whole comment, which was meant to comfort me, was completely sarcastic. Does that mean I should worry? I guess he's right… If they're so religious and their religion says not to judge people. I should be good. Plus, they don't even know I'm gay.
When we get to the door Craig pushes it open. "Fucking finally," a huge deep voice says before we've even entered. "Craig, your mother told you take the trash out two days ago!"
After we all enter, I can see Craig's house is picture perfect. It's tidy but homey yet modern. It's main color scheme is a navy blue and there are a bunch of candles everywhere. I can imagine that they copied the IKEA catalog to a T.
The walls are moderately plastered with family pictures, portraits, and baby pictures with only one piece of art that looks kind of expensive. Big Tuck is sitting at the dining room table with a newspaper which is feel is so ironic that it isn't ironic. Mama Tuck comes out of the kitchen, pulling yellow rubber gloves off her fingers and wiping her hands off on her apron- yes, apron.
They both stare at us. "New friend?" asks Mama Tuck.
"Uh, yeah, mom…" Craig takes his hat, coat, and shoes off at the door and sets them next to all the others. Clyde and I follow his example. "This is Tweek. We hang out now, I guess."
I smile, politely and wave. I'm glad I look casual today. I don't know what I usually look like but I feel good about today's look with the events that I found myself in. I wish I had known about meeting my 'not boyfriend's' parents before I left the house. I would have changed into something more… ass-kissing.
"Well, it's very nice to meet you, Tweek."
"Richard and Sherry's son right?" Big Tuck questions. I nod.
"Oh, uh, yeah," I nod. "We own the- uh- coffee… shop."
"Oh yeah," Mama Tuck says. "The one by the Whole Foods. I heard about the reopening but coffee really isn't my thing. You should swing by there, hun," she pats Big Tuck's shoulder.
"We serve other things than coffee. We make tea and pastries- well, my ma does. She's a really good baker." That's how they went into business together. It's a beautifully balanced mix if you ask me. The only thing my parents actually have under control, I think.
"Oh, really? I oughta swing by sometime then," she says to herself. "Are you all staying for dinner?"
Craig shakes his head immediately. I almost forgot that these are the same parents that make Craig hate himself, the same ones that manage to teach Ruby the things she's said to Craig. They were probably exact words she's heard from her parents- or her pastor. "Token's picking us up. I'm just checking on Jack and Sally."
"Oh, well, alright," his mom says, staring at Craig for a moment before returning to the kitchen.
"Take out the trash before you leave," his dad says, not even glancing up from his paper.
Clyde tells Craig that he'll feed the pigs while Craig does the trash and we head upstairs, leaving Craig with his parents. As we're entering his room another door opens behind us. I dare to glance back at the strawberry blonde exiting her own bedroom.
She seems surprised to see me then her face turns red with anger and embarrassment. She starts to open her mouth but then presses her lips together tightly, clenching her jaw. "You're gonna ruin our family," she whispers.
She decides she's not gonna leave until I do or maybe she's waiting for me to respond. Instead, I close Craig's door.
I glance around the room. It's just like the rest of the house and seems to me, at least, the exact opposite of Craig. With plain beige walls and a nicely made bed with navy blue sheets and comforter, dark wood nightstand and matching dresser and desk. The only thing on the wall is a calendar with no dates crossed out or marked. On the dresser is a framed picture of the whole family.
Clyde grabs the guinea pig food bag and the room is filled with loud urgent squeaks. "Wow," I say, looking at the cage for the first time. It's two story with a blue igloo and green fleece bedding.
"Yeah," Clyde says, petting one's head with his finger. "Craig probably takes better care of these fur balls than himself sometimes."
"They're cute… Which is Jack and which is Sally?"
Clyde hums in consideration. "Jack's the black and white one and Sally has some orange on her." He pours the food into their bowls and then throws some hay in.
Craig walks in and sighs heavily, shutting the door behind him. "I fucking hate it here."
"The atmosphere is… tense," Clyde says.
"And fake," I add. "Like, what the fuck is this?" I gesture to his room. "Whose room is this?"
"My parents put it together… They have this picture perfect idea of what we should be. God forbid, I step outside the lines," he tells me. "But, like, I said, Token's house is more my house than my own house is."
"What'd they talk to you about?" Clyde asks. I don't know what he's talking about.
"They said I can't stay at Token's all break and that they want me back for Christmas and they want me to go to church with them this weekend."
"God," Clyde groans.
Craig doesn't say anything but his face agrees with Clyde. He opens his pet's cage and pulls out Jack. He pets his guinea pig affectionately and my head cocks, curiously. How uncharacteristic… Craig is being… so cute! On top of that, he's acting like he has feelings. I always knew he did but he never acts like it.
"Craig," I whisper. He looks at me with a furrowed brow. "Are there cameras in here?"
"What?" he asks.
"Do your parents have cameras in your rooms? To like watch you and make sure you're being holy?"
"God, what? No, Tweek, that's just crazy," he tells me.
I kiss him anyway.
Even though he called me crazy.
"Aw," Clyde coos. "I wish I had a camera."
When I pull away from Craig's lip, a little reluctantly, Craig says, "Let's go. I don't want to be here anymore."
"Lucky for you," Clyde says, checking his phone. "Token is outside waiting for us anyways."
Craig gently places his pig back into the cage after kissing his forehead. I swoon. We head out after a quick goodbye to Mama Tuck, Big Tuck, and now Baby Tuck who's on the couch watching cartoons.
"I'll hopefully see you soon, Tweek," his mother said.
I nodded trying to look as hopeful as I could pretend to be, then we all follow Craig out and pile into Token's Cadillac.
Craig says, "That was... uncomfortable."
I had a choice to post this today or take prob another week to write about the sleepover at Tokes but someone reviewed today so idk. THanks for the suppost and new music c: lmk if you'd rather the longer chapters tho and I hope you had a nicer week than I