Hello, hello! Let me just give you an inkling of my plan. I think I'm going to end this story after Chapter 15, which will presumably wrap up any of the strings, and you'll be happy with it…but I'm not ruling out a sequel. Maybe its just that CSI: Miami has been frustrating me lately, but you at least get 2 more chapters. After that, I'll take a few days off and try to work out a plot for the sequel. It's tough being an author, am I right? This chapter is A LITTLE CaRwash-y, but I promise you nothing will come of it. Enjoy the last few, and R&R!

Behind These Hazel Eyes- Chapter 14

It was as if his entire world came crashing down in 24 hours. Ryan had awoken, and Alexx had assured him that he need not worry about Natalia or Molly, as they were both in good health. She had purposefully left out the details of Natalia's disappearance and the death of Ryan's child, but had insisted that he stay in rest at the hospital, and that he should have no visitors. Calleigh had argued incessantly, so Alexx had finally agreed to allow her entry. Calleigh softly opened the door to his small room. "Hey, honey," she whispered, and Ryan smirked.

"How are you?" he laughed, and she rolled her eyes.

"I'm glad you're feeling well enough to be an ass," Calleigh giggled and stroked the back of his hand. "How are you?"

"Been better," he mumbled slowly. "Where's Natalia?"

"At the lab," Calleigh lied. "With Eric."

"Is he taking care of her?" Ryan demanded.

"I promise you…she'll be okay," Calleigh responded, wiping her eyes.

"Cal, what's wrong?"

"Nothing is wrong," Calleigh whispered. "Honey, there's something I have to tell you."

"Go ahead," Ryan replied slowly. "Hit me with your best shot."

"When…Molly was stabbed, the baby didn't make it."

Ryan's hazel eyes expanded in utter shock. Calleigh continued to stroke the back of his pale hand. "Wow," was all he could manage. One lonely tear traced its way down his cheek. "I…hadn't been thinking about…what it could mean for Molly."

"It's not your fault, sweetheart," Calleigh insisted. "Never."

"Is Molly okay?" Ryan inquired, wiping his eyes free of the glimmering tears.

"Better than you," Calleigh quipped jocularly.

"I'm glad," he whispered, and closed his eyes for a second. "Can I call Natalia?"

Calleigh choked on her water as she heard his question. "Ryan, I don't know if that's such a great idea."

"Calleigh, what's going on?" Ryan demanded. "I can tell something's wrong. I WANT TO CALL NATALIA!"

"You can't!" Calleigh begged. "She ran away, Ryan. She wants you to move on."

"No," Ryan whispered, before he found his voice. "NO," he cried, his voice cracking like a teenaged boy. "It's not true! YOU'RE LYING!" It was more of a question than an accusation. "Tell me you're lying," Ryan begged, wiping his eyes.

Calleigh's eyes brimmed with tears Ryan guessed had been building up over the past week. "I'm so sorry," she whispered. That was the last straw, as Ryan's eyes rolled back in his head and he returned into a deep sleep.

Xxx

One month. Ryan tried to go to work without thinking of her brilliant smiles, her bright chocolate eyes, or her sweet voice as she sang her off-key rendition of songs that made him cringe. Everything had changed within a week. Natalia was gone, and Ryan assumed that she would never be coming back. He and Eric had visited her house and found that the majority of her clothes were emptied out of her closet and all of her forty pairs of shoes were abandoned out on the front lawn, clearly burned by a failure of a bonfire. Her house looked relatively pristine from the outside. Ryan went everyday to keep the weeds under control in feeble hopes that one day she would return to find a perfectly tended garden sprouting beneath her windowsill. He knew that was misinformed wishful thinking.

Horatio had been showing up less and less for work. He implored Frank to go to the crime scene on his own and instead stayed in the lab, occasionally interrogating suspects but spent the majority of his time running DNA in Natalia's stead. Calleigh had insisted that Valera could handle it on her own, but Horatio had refused the notion angrily and she had not followed up on her insistence. Frank was aging rapidly as well, Ryan noticed, and occasionally requested that Eric chase down the suspects while he spent most of his time on the computer, running information for Calleigh.

Molly and Ryan mainly sought each other's company. He occasionally slept by her side, but always on the floor. Natalia may have left him, but the hope that she would someday return lingered in his mind, refusing to leave like a parasite. Molly had begged that Ryan move in with her, assuming that they were growing closer, but Ryan denied her request and reinforced the fact that as long as Natalia was gone, he would remain faithful.

Calleigh, for her part, had been running every investigation with an iron fist. Natalia's absence had shaken her visibly, but she attempted to cover it up. Most of the time Calleigh spent with Ryan, and the two grew closer, their friendship feeding off each other's grief. Ryan and Calleigh would go to the same bar together for a round of drinks. Eric had complained to the latter about the lack of time they spent together, but Calleigh had insisted there was nothing she could do about it- she needed Ryan, and Ryan needed her. When Eric had subtly mentioned his concern to Ryan, the younger man had assured him that there was nothing romantic or sexual about their bonding, only that together they could fight through the loneliness that came with Natalia's absence. Calleigh's CaR had never been cleaner, as Ryan consistently insisted that she organize it. Calleigh's influence on Ryan was not quite as obvious, but Ryan had taken to working in ballistics more often, finding the firing of guns much more relaxing than going home and watching movies. It made him feel as though he was doing something important. Calleigh had noticed this and made a smug comment about it, but Ryan brushed it off. He knew she was hurting as well.

For the most part, the moment Natalia came up in conversation, everyone dropped it immediately, changing the subject. Walter, in all his intelligence, was often the last to pick up on the hint to change the conversation. He would frequently be the most surprised when the moment Natalia's name was mentioned they would change topics. Walter had addressed it to the team, but few of them were willing to give an answer. Molly had made one snide remark about Natalia, and Ryan had snapped at her. Molly had been surprised, but immediately understood the fragility of the situation.

Ryan had from the beginning been relatively concerned about the closeness between Eric and Natalia, but shrugged it off. Truthfully, he was not jealous of Eric even though he had had a small schoolboy crush on Calleigh since he had joined the team- which had immediately faded when he saw Natalia. Now he knew he could not even think about romance, as his heart was already broken and a large part of that was due to Natalia's conspicuous absence. Horatio, being generally good at reading people, had informed the newer lab techs how to handle Ryan's recent unpredictable behavior. He had also told them not to mention Natalia Boa Vista, even when inquiring about an old case. She had become a legend by not being there.

Xxx

Ryan closed Natalia's locker sadly, having wiped it free of dust for the fifth time that day. He heard Calleigh's heels against the locker room floor. "Hey, handsome!" Calleigh called. She immediately saw that he was not at his own locker.

"Hey, Cal," he whispered softly, picking up the Clorox and spraying the outside of her locker.

"Ryan, what are you doing?" Calleigh asked. Stupid question, Calleigh mused angrily to herself.

"I'm cleaning her locker. I figured since she's…not here…someone oughta keep it organized at best," he mumbled awkwardly.

"Ry, let's go get some drinks," Calleigh replied, staring at her absent friend's now-pristine locker. "We should get out of here."

"I loved her, Calleigh," Ryan blurted. "I really did."

"You love her, Ryan. You really do. Present tense."

"Thanks, Calleigh, I went through 1st grade," Ryan spoke dryly and coldly.

In the past, Calleigh would have grown frustrated, but pure empathy and compassion surged through her heart and she sighed. "She'll be back, Ryan."

"What if she never does?"

"She'll be back," Calleigh insisted, growing irritated.

"How do you know, 'oh miss perfect'?" Ryan challenged, slamming the door of Natalia's locker.

"SHE'LL BE BACK!" Calleigh screamed. Walter, who had just entered the locker room, turned around and exited awkwardly. "Ryan," she whispered, her voice growing weary, "we have to believe that she's going to come back. If we don't, we have nothing to hope for."

"I loved her," Ryan repeated, his voice cracking. "I LOVED HER!" he cried and smashed his arm into the locker door, his head falling against his forearm as soft tears plummeted from his eyes. "I LOVED HER!" he cried again, only quieter.

"I know; we all did."

"No, I LOVED her. Calleigh, she was the only reason I live. Now, why am I still here? WHY?"

"That's enough, Ryan!" Calleigh's voice rose to heights she didn't know existed. "Listen, Ryan, there are people here that love you and would die for you, so please don't go all-holier-than-thou on all of us and think that you're the only one that misses her!"

There was a shocked silence. Ryan's eyes grew dark in sudden anger, but softened as he saw the wet, glistening spots below her lower eyelid. "Stop feeling sorry for yourself. I loved her too. She was like my sister, so please don't you DARE act like you're the only one going through this." Calleigh wiped her eyes absently and then closed them as Ryan placed his arms around her. She returned the friendly embrace and buried her face in his shoulder. "I'm sorry I screamed," she mumbled into his chest.

"I'm sorry I screamed," Ryan echoed, and Calleigh giggled softly before pulling away and straightening her wavy hair. Part of her was embarrassed that strong, unbreakable Calleigh Duquesne had just cried, but the other part of her just didn't give a damn.

"Let's go out for some drinks," Calleigh offered.

"Lord knows I need a buzz right now," Ryan quipped and Calleigh rolled her eyes lovingly.

"There's the Ryan I know," she laughed and grabbed his hand. "Drinks on you!" she teased, pulling him after her with laughter echoing down the corridors. Horatio stood in his office, watching the two CSI's run playfully together, and calmly placed the note Natalia had written to Eric in the bottom drawer of his desk. We'll get past this-Horatio thought to himself, closing up the lab for the night, taking one long look at the newly cleaned locker with Natalia's name branded on the front-but not yet.

Xxx

It had been one whole month. Ryan had never expected himself to move on so quickly from the grief that had dominated his thoughts for the first three weeks. Natalia was gone, he knew, but she would be back. Calleigh had convinced him that no woman could stay away from him for that long, and he had blushed, immediately embarrassed. Molly had agreed that whatever had grown between them during Natalia's kidnapping had faded, and the passionate sparks she had felt initially when they first met and flirted were under control. Molly knew that when Natalia returned, their prospective relationship would fizzle and die, and she had no problem with that. She had moved on, and she knew he had for the most part found himself.

Eric and Ryan had not argued since Natalia's departure, which had surprised the both of them. Eric had moved on from his fling with Natalia four years ago, acknowledging that there had been no deeper feelings than raw sexual attraction. Ryan had insisted that he was not interested in Calleigh romantically, and assured Eric that the moment Natalia returned, their friendship would remain strong but not quite as dominant over Eric and Calleigh's relationship. To Eric, for many reasons, the day Natalia returned could not come soon enough.

"Hey, Cal, you got anything on the Gables murder?"

"This gun is a needle in a haystack, Eric," Calleigh replied as the striations zipped through the IBIS database. "And we're getting no where."

"Should I visit Tom?" Eric inquired.

"Sit here with me!" Calleigh whined. "It's so boring!"

"Anything for you, love," Eric agreed, sitting next to her on a stool.

"Ryan's doing better," Calleigh, informed him absently.

"Can we seriously not have a conversation without talking about Wolfe?"

"Excuse me?" Calleigh snapped, turning to him angrily.

"Well," Eric began awkwardly, feeling the heat of her bitter glare, "you spend all of your free time with him, so when you spend it with me, can we not talk about him?"

"He's my best friend!" Calleigh yelled, louder than she had originally intended. "Detective Eric Delko- are you jealous?" she teased, her anger under control. Eric looked at her, a fake appalled expression flashing across his tan face.

"No! Why would you think that?"

"He has gotten bigger muscles lately… he looks more like a man," Calleigh observed, teasing Eric. He looked at her, shocked.

"Calleigh?" he asked, scared.

"Oh please, you know I'm just teasing."

"Well, with the time you spend with…" Eric began, but was interrupted by her shriek of delight.

"WE GOT A HIT!" Calleigh squealed.

Xxx

She closed her door, exhausted. Her house was cleaned to an extent that it frightened her. Ryan, she thought, amused. It was so organized that she had trouble even finding the milk, which was clearly organized by dairy products and then by the alphabetical order or all of those. It scared her that Ryan had taken care of her house for a whole month, without knowing exactly when she would be returning. She heard the door open and jumped at the sound of Ryan's obvious footsteps.

"Hello?" he called, hearing her clacking heels as she jumped.

"Ryan?" she asked, and he entered the room. His hazel eyes widened.

"Natalia."

Yay, she's back! But is everything going to be the same? R&R and you'll find out!