So here is the next chapter, I'm sorry it is shorter than usual, but as it deals with such an important point I hope you all won't mind too much!
Special thanks to Guest Rosy for your reviews and support and to ffcrazy15 (on here ) since you inspired the way I did the song in this chapter, I hope you don't mind that I borrowed on your method of flowing the songs in, but it was so lovely!
Chapter Fourteen: The Firebug
I stare at him, not only hit by his words, but also by what he just called me, Elsa. He has never before dared to drop the title.
'What do you mean Hans?' I ask.
His turns eyes burning with fear on my face,' I don't know,' he says,' but something is wrong, I can just feel it.'
I reach out and take the burning hot hand in mine, I let a gentle drop of snow fall to cool it. He gives a sharp breath and the snow frizzles away and burns as though it went to near a flame.
I let go his hand, my own is feeling scorched after holding it,' something is very wrong,' I agree.' Hans are you afraid?'
He looks at me, the answer written over every inch of his face,' terrified,' he says, his voice horse.
'Hans,' I lock his eyes,' don't fear, fear is your enemy.'
He stares back at me,' what do you mean?' he asks and now his voice is vibrating and his frame is shaking.
I don't want to tell him, but I know I have too, it's too clear what the trouble is,' love,' I say quietly,' love is your answer.'
He takes a hurried step back, away from me,' I'm not like you Queen Elsa,' he says,' I don't...' he chocks over his own words,' I don't...! I'm not...!'
'You're becoming like me,' I say,' my power mixed with the fire bug, we can both see where this is going!'
He stumbles further away,' no,' he says,' no,' his hands clench tightly and his face is deadly pale.
'Hans,' I take a hurried step toward him,' I can help you get through this, just let go of your fear, listen to me, I can help you! Just...
let it go, let it go,
I can help you through this storm.
Let it go, let it go,
you can be safe and warm.
Don't you fear,
I'll help you through...'
He cuts in, his tone sharp,' don't you see?
This fire's long encased me!'
I take my line from him,' let me help, let me aid
I can do more than you'd guess
Let me help, let me aid
You can learn control, not make a mess!'
His turns half away, unclenching his hand. A bead of fire, shaped like a tear drop, burns in his palm.' No this cannot be!,' he exclaims,
why is this happening to me!?'
'Let me help you now!' I cry,
we can fight through this somehow!'
Hans thrusts his hand in the snow at his feet and the fire dies out with a splutter.' This can't happen!' he moans, eyes fixed on his hand as he raises it again,' this can't happen!'
I come up behind me,' it doesn't have to be so bad,' I say, gently as I can,' it can be okay...'
'OKAY!?' he cuts in swirling round and facing me,' Okay?! Is this from the woman whose own subjects were afraid of her? Who was called a sorcerer and a curse on her land?!'
'How dare you!' I throw back at him,' it was you who caused Arendelle to be frozen over, if you had not been up to trickery it never would have happened!'
'And you'd still be locked in your room,' he retorts,' cutting off Anna and the rest of the world! Trying to conceal a power that it's no use attempting to control!'
He extends his hands as he talks and a ripple of fire bursts forth and rushes along the snow beside us.
'It can be controlled,' I cry and let ice spray over the burning flames, extinguishing them,' or do you call this,' letting snow swirl into the air,' by some other name?'
'It's more like management,' he says,' you can't get rid of it and it comes out when you are angry.'
'Is this a sample of your repentance?' I ask,' lying, as you have said you did, throwing accusations at me? Is this all a taste of it?'
This cuts him up short, his head lowers and the anger in face is gone almost instantly,' what I said was low,' he confesses,' I'm sorry Queen Elsa.'
'I'm a little sick of hearing that and not seeing it!' I snap unfairly, then cooling down,' but I can help you, you need control, you know I can't get rid of it for you.'
He is silent for a moment, then asks,' can anyone? Get rid of it I mean.'
I pause,' I don't know,' I say simply,' if anyone...' I am careful, I don't want to give him false hope,' if anyone can, which I'm not at all sure is the case, that someone is probably Grandpa Pabbie, the leader of the trolls.'
Hans breaths sharply, nodding his head. Then he looks desperately toward me,' what do I do now Queen Elsa?' he asks.
'You love, love can thaw, it can extinguish fire too.'
'Love?' he echoes,' how does that work? Do I focus on people I care for, or do I...?' he flounders,' Queen Elsa what does that mean?!'
I sigh,' I can't explain it, you just need to feel it. Have you never loved anyone Prince Hans?'
He bites his lip and turns away,' I don't know,' he says,' I don't know what love means.'
'To put someone else and their needs before your own,' I say.
He swallows,' it's been some years,' he says.
'You came with here to help us,' I say,' that counts for something.'
'It was better than sitting in a cell, counting the very stone of the walls.'
'A fair point. But then you did also get hit by me in the first place because you were protecting Anna.'
'That's called naval training,' he says,' it's instinct.'
'No, there was more than instinct in that, it was in your face. You left Anna to die and now her safety matters to you.'
He looks pointedly at me,' Anna was not the only one I almost killed,' he says.
I give a weird, slightly sharp laugh,' I don't need protecting,' I say.
He gives a slight laugh too,' neither does Anna,' he says.
I have to agree to that and my laugh becomes slightly more natural. For a while we are silent, letting the snow whirl about us, cooling his hot face and relaxing me like only snow does.
Eventually I say,' think of that little girl, Irene, your niece, you loved her.'
He blinks,' that's pain,' he says.
'Because it's love,' I reply,' love and pain are one and who'd be without them?'
'You'll have pain anyway,' he nods,' why not take some love with it.'
'And don't be afraid,' I say,' there is always a bridge to pass over the running water, if we look hard enough and if we pray for the strength to cross it.'
He nods again, eyes fixed on the floor. I give him a moment to contemplate then say,' shall we talk about that lie you confessed to telling?'
'Okay, of course,' he says.
I sit down on the snow and he sits down beside me, hands tightly interlocked.
'So,' I say, aiding him by starting,' why did you only count six names to make the word weasel, why did you leave one out and who was he?'
'I told you seven men disappeared,' he says,' that was true, but I didn't... didn't tell you the end of that story. We found one of the men...' he stops, throat contracting.
'Yes' I prompt.
'He was dead.'
I stare at him,' and you saw fit to hide this?' I ask,' why?'
'I was afraid it would cause panic, to think one of them had been found dead, it would... make them all afraid that... that something like that would happen to one of the trolls.'
I nod. Lying is always wrong, but I'm not angry. There was no malice in the lie, no wish to protect himself or deceive us, only the wish to defend us from a cold truth.
When I speak my tone is firm, but gentle,' never lie to me again Prince Hans,' I say,' don't you ever dare to lie to me again!'
His head sinks slightly and he nods, chewing his bottom lip.' I know you are tired of hearing this, but I'm sorry.'
'Actually I admire your...' I stop, floundering for the right way of putting it,' to me sorry is always the hardest word.'
'That makes two of us,' he says, then adds thoughtfully,' I think though... that there is going to be a harder one, I feel as though it's waiting for me, something...,' he shakes his head and gives a laugh,' what nonsense I'm talking,' he says lightly.
'But what word is it?' I ask laying a hand on his arm,' tell me?'
He looks round, his green eyes look full into mine,' I don't know yet,' he says,' but nothing I can say looking into someone's eyes, especially yours... Elsa.'
I remove my hand from his arm,' it's Queen Elsa,' I say,' please keep your place,' then as I don't wish to seem unkind, I offer him my hand,' come on, how about we get you a pair of Haydn's gloves to help you out for now?'
He takes the hand and rises to his feet. His hand are warm, not cold like my own always are and it's oddly strengthening.
'Gloves,' he says,' I like gloves, they hide, conceal the truth.'
Conceal, don't feel, don't let them know!
The words ring in my ears. I close my eyes for a moment and determine this will not be a secret. Secrets kill everything and he is only just finding his way back to life.
More to come!
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