I think maybe I imagined the part where she said she'd be back for breakfast. I mean, it's possible. I was pretty incredibly dead to the world when Katniss left sometime last night. But I think that happened for real.
And even if it did, I know I shouldn't be bothered. She'd gone home to take care of Mason and that was a good thing – hadn't it been the one thing I'd wanted since his birth?
I was basically mentally chastising her for doing everything that I'd wanted her to do already and now I was frustrated with myself.
That realization had stunned me and I'd locked the thoughts away as I got ready to return to the mines.
The walk to work had been long – the rising sun creeping up my neck as the day started to begin. With every inch that the sun rose, I couldn't help but resent every step I was taking towards the mine. All I wanted was to return to my life in the bakery. To be with Katniss every day and watch as Mason grew up. To be there for them both when –
"Mellark, where have you been?" Smits calls my attention out of my wandering thoughts as he stands at the entrance to the mine with a cigarette hanging from his lips. I pull up short, unsure of how to answer exactly what's been going on with me lately. "You've missed three shifts this week, boy," Smits adds almost as an afterthought.
"I'm sorry – things are..." I struggle to find the right words. Things aren't 'falling apart' but they're not necessarily 'coming together' either. Smits nods knowingly, having a vague grasp of what I'm dealing with outside of the mine.
"I get it – just know that there's other men here. Hungry men..." He trails off, looking away.
I can only nod as he head's inside, leaving me to digest the fact that he's talking about giving away my job. About firing me if he has to. The idea makes my blood run cold through my veins and I quickly shuffle into the mine and down into its depths while vowing not to miss another shift.
"Peeta! Peeta, please," The voice echoing in my head is frantic, its pitch hurting my ears as my mind swims back into consciousness. Slowly as I come to I realize the ground underneath me is dirt. That the air I breathe is thick with dust. That I'm still clad in my uniform overalls. Opening my eyes, I suck in a thick breath and sit up quickly, my head spinning as the body above me jerks backwards. I hear them stumble as my eyes come into focus.
"Katniss?" I gasp, trying to steady my breathing. I feel like I can just barely pull in enough air to be sitting upright before her hand is on my shoulder forcing me onto my back again.
"Oh, Peeta," She whimpers as she looks down at me, her hands pressing to my cheeks and across my chest. Her face is smudged with dirt, her hair running loose from its braid and her cheeks are flaming red.
"You passed out again, kid," Thom mumbles from somewhere beyond my head. I watch dazedly as Katniss snaps her head up and looks above me with a scowl.
"Again?" She hisses. I reach my arm up until it rests over hers on my chest. Squeezing gently, I move to sit up while keeping her fingers clutched between mine.
"It's not a big deal," I insert carefully, looking to where Thom stands behind me with a few other fellow workers.
"Not a big deal? Peeta! Are you fucking crazy? Do you know what Prim would say if she heard that?" Katniss yells, her red face furious as she looks down at me again. "You need to eat, goddammit!" She shouts more forcefully.
I'm taken aback by her anger, confused at the lash of her tone. There has to be more though, I'm convinced, because right now she's here somehow and she's still letting me hold her hands in mine despite how angry she looks.
"Katniss, I'm fine – look, all good. Okay?" I attempt, raising my left hand to her cheek. She swats it away and gets to her feet, reaching down to grab a paper bag before tossing it in my direction.
"It's not okay!" She bursts. I see her eyes snap between the other workers, her colour draining as she looks down at me again.
It happens almost in an instant as she steps backwards, her hands flying to cover her mouth as her eyes squeeze shut. I'm on my feet quickly, grabbing her up by the arms as her legs shake unsteadily and she gasps.
This was too much like what had happened to Gale. Too familiar and terrifying. And I'd belittled it.
Yanking herself away, she refuses to look up from the place on the ground that she's staring at as she addresses me.
"I brought you some lunch because I was late getting back. I'm going to go home and talk to Prim about this and I'd like it very much if you came over after your shift." She states, formality lining every tightly controlled word that slips from her lips. I try once more to wrap my arms around her – to steady her shaking core as she stands before me – but she pulls back and turns, stomping through the coal dust as she disappears out the door.
My heart plummets as I look to see Thom instructing the men to return to the mine. This can't be good. I know it.
"Peeta, let's talk," Thom says, turning to me with his arms crossed over his chest and his helmet askew. "Look, I know you're trying to get a handle on things here and support your... friends," He stumbles and I falter.
"My family, Thom, - they're my family now," I insist. He nods briskly and shifts on his feet.
"I know you're just trying to help your family here, but I'm worried. It's dangerous to be doing what you're doing. Not to mention how dangerous it is for the rest of your crew. What I'm trying to say here is, take some time off. Get some food into you if you can-"
"No! Thom, no, please!" I beg, stepping towards him as my hands shake. I need this job. I need to do something to keep my worth and show Katniss I'm valuable for something. The idea of not having this job, of existing only to subsist on others' support is unthinkable. "I can work – don't fire me, please," I croak, taking in his furrowed brow.
"I'm not firing you Peeta. I just need you to take some time off until you can get through a shift, you hear?" Thom repeats, grasping my shoulders tightly before stepping back. I feel my head nodding in agreement, fear lacing my blood. I won't have a job after this. He can say I'm not being fired but I'm not stupid – I know that this job will be snatched up while I'm off shift.
I'll become useless. I won't have anything to offer.
Lifting my helmet and lunch from the floor I turn and walk unsteadily from the building as Thom returns to the lift office behind me. I make my way home, slowly trying to stifle the way my breathing riffs on terror and uncertainty. I don't know what I'm going to do now – I know that I can't face Katniss until at least the end of my scheduled shift. I can't bear to let her know that I no longer have anything to offer. Instead I head back to the bakery to hide out until this evening – to try to get a hold on myself and come up with a plan.
But I'm not alone when I get back to the bakery. Peering through my windows is Peacekeeper Thread, his hands pressed against the glass as he shelters his view from the sun. I almost consider turning and walking away – too exhausted to deal with this – before he spies me in the glass and whips around.
"Mr Mellark!" He snaps, his gaze hard. He barely hesitates before stepping forward to confront me, pulling my helmet and lunch from my hands and dropping my gear onto the ground. He tears at the paper bag, exposing the crust of bread and chunk of meat that are packed within. My stomach drops, instantaneous fear filling me as I realize this is just what he was after all along. "Well, what do we have here?" He taunts, unwrapping the meat and lifting it until it touches his nose.
I hate him and everything that he represents. I hate every second that he spends breathing on the lunch that I deserve.
"This smells like squirrel meat, boy," He threatens, leering at me as his tongue flicks out to taste the edge. "Tastes like it too. I knew you been into the forest – how else would your grubby ex-finance be feeding those brats at the community home?" He snarls and before I can react to his accusations – before I can even comprehend that he's talking about Delly – he's cuffed me upside the head with his fist and I'm falling to the ground in a lump.
I wake up cold. I wake up to a crowd around me, chanting and hollering filling my fuzzy brain. When my eyes open I see wood panels and a pile of black. And then a pile of my own clothes. And then my blood on those clothes. At least I hope it's my blood.
Instantly my body reacts, thrusting with an upward jolt that only seems to hurt me more as my body reams against the wood panels holding my hands and neck. My mouth lets loose a screaming yell of surprise and pain as it begins to understand my predicament.
I'm spending far too much time unconscious, I think to myself as I come to, twisting and groaning as my head throbs. I take in the fact that I can't move much slower than I'd like as my neck twists and catches on the wood of the stocks again.
It's only after I've strained instinctively at the restraints that I realize I'm not alone up here. Shifting, I hear the crowd around me as I freeze. My heart nearly stopping.
The sound of a feral crowd fills me as I struggle more with my hands being bound. All around me, people are clamoring to witness destruction – the only thing left they can consume. My stomach drops to my feet at the noises of the people, some cheering, some hushed disdain. All without mercy.
"Shhh, Peeta!"
Delly. Delly can't be in the stocks. They never put women in the stocks.
I turn my head slowly, the pain resonating through my body as I try to see her. I get so far as to see her fingers before I can't turn anymore.
"What is happening?" I moan. The body I used to rely on so fully is now failing me.
"You're in the stocks. Thread is watching. Just be quiet!" She insists but I can't. I can't get my mouth to shut up. I can't get anything to work, especially not while my legs continually go weak and my body lurches with the increased pressure.
"Why? Where's Katniss?" I remember carrying the lunch she'd brought for me. Her poached meat.
Oh god I hope she's not here. My thoughts immediately flicker to Mason and my blood starts to rush again in my ears.
I couldn't bear it if Thread did something to her. To him.
"Peeta please," Delly cries again. But she's too late. Behind me I hear boots on the platform, echoing in the air around us as the crowd hollers with excitement. Slowly, the boots come into my fuzzy view.
"Mr Mellark, so glad you were willing to turn yourself in," Thread's voice rings out. The crowd seems to quiet suddenly, almost as if hanging off his every word.
"What the fuck do you want?" I croak. I need to shift my feet before they give out again. I nearly fall. Thread laughs sickly.
"Ms Cartwright here was caught distributing unsanctioned meat this morning," Thread starts and my blood runs cold. I try to look up and meet his gaze but my neck won't extend far enough and I'm left staring at his belt. And the whip in his hands. "She claims you had no knowledge of her affairs – what with you no longer being engaged – but I beg to differ. I would actually wager that you knew all about her poaching. What with all those new mouths you have to support. And with how willing you've been to defraud the Capitol with your mockery of an engagement..."
He pauses, his feet starting to pace across the platform as he lets his whip down. It trails along the ground threateningly.
I can't help but wonder where Katniss is.
I'm too afraid to ask.
I'd rather take a whipping than know she's hurt.
Where's Katniss?
"I thought you both should be left up here to see what happens when people break the law. I was just about to send out a search party, but then you made my job so much easier." He taunts. I watch as he lightly whips the ground, teasing us with the display that he knows is the only thing our eyes can see. Beside me I hear Delly whimper.
"It'll be alright, Delly," I whisper quietly. The sentiment enrages Thread as he paces before us and the whip slaps the ground angrily.
"Be quiet Baker, or the next snap will be on your back," He threatens, his voice seething. The hairs on my arms rise up as my nerves crackle. I bite my tongue, physically silencing myself from asking any more.
I don't want to know if Katniss knows what's happening. I don't know where she is.
I don't know if she's abandoned me again.
I hope she's with Mason. Dear god I hope they don't have her.
"A night in the stocks should serve you two well. We'll have to see what tomorrow brings. Who knows if you'll still be standing?" Thread's voice rings out and the crowd erupts in shouts. I don't know whether they're anticipatory or furious. It doesn't matter. My body again tries to revolt in its restraints, forcefully reminding me that I can't go anywhere.
Thread comes down to my level, his sick breath blowing in my face and I cringe at the sight of his angry eyes.
"You might be here longer, if the birds don't get you first." My body reacts again viciously, my head rearing as a guttural sound is pulled from my throat. Hands flexing, neck burning, I let my eyes follow him as he rises back up.
And brings the butt of the whip down against the side of my face before a scream rings out and everything goes black.
When I come to again my head is throbbing. My vision is blurry at best, my legs are tangled, and my eye is half swollen closed. I think I've even nearly bit through my tongue. Either that or it's blood from my cheek.
"Delly?" I ask, my voice thick and painful. I hear her whimper next to me, her body shifting as she tries to ease the obvious strain on her legs and back.
"I'm sorry," She groans sadly. I hear the chains on her feet rattle as they shift against the boards.
All around us people still watch. Though I can't see them I hear their voices – no longer threatening or calling out. Instead they're calm whispers amongst groups.
I don't know if they're more threatening or not.
"Delly, is he here?" I ask quietly. If Thread's here I'll surely know it. He'll likely slam me into unconsciousness again and I won't wake up until the middle of the night.
Maybe that would be better. It's already evening now. I've made it through most of the day.
"No. One of the Peacekeepers came and got him. They've got Darius standing guard but he's almost harmless," Delly replies calmly, seemingly smoothing out her reactions as I come to. I'm thankful for it because right now my heart is beating wildly in my chest and my stomach is growing for anything to eat. I can't remember the last time I ate and being stuck here is only making it worse.
"What happened?" I'm not sure if I want to know but I know I need to know.
"You got knocked out, I think. I couldn't see you but the way Katniss was screaming I thought he'd killed you," She whispers trying to avoid raising Darius' attention. Her recollection astounds me and makes panic start to fill me.
"Katniss? She was here?" I whisper frantically, my hands struggling instinctively as I become more aware of my position. It starts to sink in almost immediately – Katniss was here. Katniss watched Thread as he hit me out.
I don't even remember it. Was she okay? How much had she seen? Had Thread caught her? The last thought was almost the absolute worst for me. The only thing worse would be if she checked out mentally again.
If Katniss was unhinged, if she was lost or 'drowning' as she'd described it, who was taking care of Mason? Who was taking care of her? Where was she?
"Peeta-" Delly starts again and my moan cuts her off as my mind gets dizzy and my body slumps heavily in the stocks as my legs give out. "Peeta come on, stay awake." She cries frantically, her voice still trying desperately to be low but failing. I hear the crowd around me rise a little and I'm near on the brink.
"Where is she? Is she alright?" I honestly don't even care that I'm in the stocks right now. All I care about is Katniss and if she's safe. If Thread has her. If Mason is getting his dinner.
"Mr. Abernathy came and took her, I think, at least it sounded like him." Delly responds carefully. I can tell she's being precise with her words. She always punctuates with emphasis when she's being careful. "Peeta, I'm sorry you've been dragged into this."
"Is she alright?" I nearly shout, focusing on how she's avoiding the question. I hear wood collide with wood as Darius shouts at us to shut up.
"I don't know. I'm sorry, I don't know. She was with Haymitch, I'm pretty sure. And I think she walked away with him." Delly tries reassuringly. I try to take it as a good sign but I don't know if I can believe it. If I know Katniss, this could either destroy her because she thinks she's lost me or this has just made her angrier after this afternoon.
But I can't be sure.
"I wish they hadn't found you," She moans sadly, drawing my attention back and away from my dangerous thoughts. The ones that assure me that once I'm free I'll kill him. I'll destroy him if Katniss is hurt in any way.
"Tell me what's going on Delly." I state. I need to know, even if I'm only using it as a ploy to keep me conscious for the time being.
"I was stealing," She admits softly, her leg kicking at the fabric still tucked around her feet. "Not poaching. But he thinks I was anyways. I was giving Peacekeeper chickens to the Community Home where Gemma works. They needed them more than the Peacekeepers did. Hell, some of them even knew what I was doing!" Delly hisses but halts as soon as Darius cracks his billy club against the wood again. She takes it as a sign and remains quiet for a long while.
I let the idea sink into my thoughts. I try to rationalize what Delly has just told me. I try to equate this Delly with the woman I knew – the one who stole from me and Katniss. Who stole from Mason.
They're not the same person.
"Did he say what's going to happen next?" I prompt after a while, the thoughts running through my head. There was still so much unresolved. So much to change.
"No. He just said the stocks. I don't know if I believe him though. It seems too easy." She admits and I nod in agreement. For Thread, it does seem too easy.
"Well, let's just get through tonight."
I hope we can get through tonight. Though I don't know how we will.
"Peeta," The voice startles me and I roll my eyes up. I think I'm dreaming. Or that something is seriously wrong in my head. "Peeta come on, get up!" The voice tries again and I groan, my body protesting the movement of my arm as it's pulled downwards. When a hand lands on my back, forcing my hips forward, I cry out with the change in position as my legs shake.
"Get him up, we need to go!" Another voice from nearby calls out. I shift around in my daze before the shooting pain in my arm overwhelms me. Someone is lifting my arm up. There's a warm body next to me.
"Come on, Peeta. Walk with me here."
So familiar. So warm.
A short scream bursts out from around us.
"Shut her up!" Another voice yells. I hear a noise like gagging and my blood starts to thrum. It all seems to come back to me in a rush as I remember where I am. What was happening. What was going to happen.
My first instinct is to push away. To lurch towards where I thought Delly to be. To try to save my friend before the Peacekeepers took her away. I hadn't gotten so far as to figure out where they were taking her in the middle of the night but I didn't need to know. All I needed to know was that I had to fight.
"Get off!" I croaked, my words jumbled as my throat screamed in protest at its use.
The figure next to me, the one holding me up, was pushed away by my flailing arm as I tried to move towards my friend.
In another moment, a large arm was around my waist, pulling me up from where my body was inevitably sinking towards the ground. Twenty hours in the stocks and no food or water was taking its toll.
"Delly!" I cried out. The feel of fabric pushing past my lips and flooding into my mouth made me groan.
They were gagging me. Silencing me. They were going to kill us. All for food. All for food that was rightly ours.
My mind couldn't process what was happening fast enough as my body was released and they began swinging an axe against the chain at my feet. For an instant as I watched, bound and gagged on the ground, I was sure they were going to cut my feet off. Prevent me from running. But then the axe connected with the chain and the metal sparked.
The shadowy figure rose up again, swinging forth and bringing the metal down again. This time it separated, the metal coming loose quickly.
"Come on Peeta," The first voice from before was back. Only this time I knew that voice. I longed for that voice.
"Ka-iss," I yelled through my gag, my word only barely escaping the cloth. The figure whipped towards me, its braid flying in the shadows of the street lights. I momentarily wondered where the moon was as I viewed the sky overhead.
"Shh, it's okay," She soothed, her hand resting on my forehead and running to my jaw. She repeated the motions until another figure over her shoulder called out.
"We've got her, let's go."
"We've got to walk now Peeta – can you do that?" Katniss asked lowly, shifting until she was gripping both of my hands while standing over me. I slowly tried to comply, rolling to my knees in an attempt to get a balance before my body protested the movement. Near me I could hear Delly crying through her gag, her own body unforgiving.
Finally standing, Katniss removed the gag from my mouth, apologizing quietly.
"Where's Mason? Is he safe?" It was all I wanted to ask now that I knew she was here, safe, in front of me.
She didn't get a chance to answer before the heavens opened up and lightning cracked the sky, its sharp current sizzling around us as the street lamps flickered under the shock. Gripping Katniss' hands tighter in mine, I pulled myself against her as the first drop of rain hit my forehead. I stood frozen as drop after drop swept down towards my dried and chapped lips, licking them clear as the overwhelming urge to cry with relief overtook me.
"Peeta, please, we need to go," Katniss moaned as I leaned heavily against her. "We need to get out of here before-"
She didn't get to finish her sentence as a hand came down heavily on my shoulder, forcing me out of her grip with a surprised gasp.
This was it. This was what Thread was waiting for.
AN: Another cliff hanger, mostly because I wanted to get this out because I've been so delayed by the holidays. Silly holidays, taking up my time. I hope everyone's enjoyed theirs and are looking forward to a wicked new year! Let me know what your thoughts and predictions are on this if you're so inclined. Now I'm off to the gym, merry fucking fitness to me. Come join me on Tumblr at lollercakesff if you'd like.