DFR: Okay, I was planning to be a liiiiittle meaner to Corliss this chapter but I figured I'd give the poor girl –uhmm… homunculus- a break for a change -Rissy

Chapter 13

"Aunty Riza!!"

Riza bent down to embrace the five-year-old who opened the door for a moment, before looking up at her mother and smiling.

"Riza; Maria. Come in!" Gracia said, beaming.

Five minutes took them into the living room, chatting easily with Elysia playing around in a corner. Suddenly, though, a dark shadow passed over Gracia's face, "have you met this Hawkeye woman yet? I haven't myself, but Ms Rockbell and Elysia apparently ran into her at the park with Mr Mustang."

"Yes, I've seen her," said Riza, while Maria watched her intently.

"Is it true then? Is she really your cousin?"

"We're not blood cousins…"

"Riza?" Gracia seemed concerned.

Knowing that she'd have to tell her in the end, Riza lowered her voice further, "That woman is the homunculus Roy- Colonel Mustang created in my image."

"And Mr Mustang's hanging around with her?" asked Gracia, eyes widening significantly. "Those homunculi- those homunculi-" her voice shook, but she forced herself to go on, also low enough so that Elysia couldn't hear it. "Those homunculi were the ones who killed Maes!"

Riza nodded guiltily. "She claims to be on our side, though- or Colonel Mustang's, at least- and he's watching her carefully. He'll be fine."

"And you?"

Riza and Maria exchanged glances, then, and Riza shook her head, knowing that Gracia had picked up on her leaving herself out of the argument of Roy's relative safety. Gracia's face fell further at the look, understanding miserably, "Riza, you can't leave again."

"I have to, Gracia. All this mess is because of me. He could have been killed and it was my fault."

"Riza, don't you think for a second that what those men did to you was your fault," said Gracia, clenching her fists in her lap. "Don't you ever think that!"

Maria agreed fervently but Riza shook her head. "You don't understand."

"Then fill us in!" said Maria hotly, "because I have absolutely no idea how any of this is your fault, Riza!"

"He was with me the night before it happened," she said, staring down at her lap so she wouldn't have to face the looks she knew her friends would be affording her. "Nothing really happened- at least not in the way that you're thinking… We were both intoxicated, more I than him, though. He kissed me and I let him."

"You-?" Maria began, but Riza didn't let her finish.

"He removed my shirt and my guns but wouldn't let me take it any further while I was under the influence of alcohol…" She smiled fondly at the memory. "I didn't remember a lot at first in the morning. I was confused because he'd woken me up and it was already getting into the late morning. I did notice that my guns- even the holster from my thigh- were gone but I was too distressed, trying to remember what had happened, to put them back… by the time I left for work I was still distracted and unarmed. And I'd told him not to wait for me… if he'd been there I'm sure it never would have happened… I was foolish. But he shouldn't have tried that- I can't believe that he'd- He just shouldn't have tried to bring me back… It wasn't right. Did he honestly think I'd think him for it? For bringing me back to live with the shame and my wounds and the fact that he lost his arm- could have lost his life- for me?"

"Aren't you glad you survived, Riza?" asked Gracia softly.

"Of course I am. I'm not suicidal," said Riza, eyebrows furrowing a little. "But if he'd actually managed to bring me back he would have lost more- equivalent exchange and all that… If he'd brought me back and managed to kill himself, or even just maim himself more heavily, in the process… Then no. I'd rather he didn't. I'd just never be able to live with myself- you have no idea how hard I'm finding it as it is."

"And you think running away- making his sacrifice come to nothing- is going to make you feel better?" asked Gracia.

"It's going to keep him safe."

"What? Leaving him under the protection of the homunculus?" she asked sceptically.

"Don't try to change my mind, Gracia. I'm afraid and confused as it is, don't you understand?"

Gracia shook her head, "no. I don't understand at all. Whether or not you leave, Mustang is going to search for the men who hurt you. He loves you far too much to get away with it. What would you do if they harmed him? If they killed him? All because you couldn't be there to protect him like you promised."

"I'm scared," said Riza softly.

"Then let him protect you- God knows he's trying."

Riza shook her head and climbed to her feet with a small whimper, "Please don't make me say it again, Gracia. I just can't stay here." She turned and left, Maria following miserably.

Elysia jumped to her feet with a cry of "Aunty Riza, don't go!!"

But she didn't even look back.

-

"Hawkeye, do you know where I can find Riza?" asked Roy as he walked back into his office.

"She wouldn't want me to tell you," said Corliss, not looking up from her work.

"Hawkeye, please. I can't let her leave again!"

Corliss just shook her head.

"I need her, Hawkeye! Why won't you help me?!"

"…You don't need her, sir. You've got me."

Roy had to restrain himself from yelling at her- telling her that it wasn't the same. He knew it wouldn't be good to upset her- who knew what kind of monstrous and unexplainable alchemy she could pull on him? "Corliss…" he walked over to stand before her, crouching down to her level before continuing gently. "I do need her and I love her very much, but that doesn't mean I'm going to forget about you. Just think how Riza must feel- she doesn't want you to take her place either."

"You're wrong, sir," said Corliss. "That's exactly what she wants. She wants you to forget about her so that you can be safe. She wants to disappear and never see you again."

"Please, Corliss. I can't stand hurting her like this," said Roy sincerely and she caved with a depressive sigh.

"She- She's staying in Maria Ross' apartment on Fifth Street for the night. Tomorrow morning she's returning to the North by train."

Roy kissed her cheek quickly and fled the room in a heartbeat, while Corliss stared at the empty doorway miserably.

"He doesn't want me…" she whispered to herself. "He's using me to get to Riza. Even if I were human… he'd still want her. I'm special to Dante. She needs me- like Roy used to need me until Riza came back. I can be special that way, and if Roy can't see it, then it's his loss."

She stood up suddenly, scraping her chair back, and made for the door, where she bumped into a slightly familiar looking chest.

"Mr Havoc?"

Havoc looked down at her in surprise, "Corliss? Is something wrong?" Corliss nodded miserably and suddenly Havoc understood.

"Has Roy gone after Riza?"

Corliss nodded again and Havoc put his arms around her, mentally preparing himself to be slapped. He wasn't. Looking down at her cautiously, he saw that her eyes were closed and she was smiling.

"Do you like me, Mr Havoc?"

"Sure I do," said Havoc, tugging on her ponytail lightly with a grin.

"More than any other girl?"

Havoc thought back to his black list of females, then to his beloved, but painfully ignorant, best friend, Sheska. "Uhm…?"

"Please, Mr Havoc? You like me, don't you?"

Seeing the desperation of her face, he stroked her hair gently, "you and Riza are both like little sisters to me, Corliss, but I've got someone else I like a lot right now, even if she doesn't like me back…"

Corliss tore out of his arms and looked down at the ground disdainfully.

"But I won't ever leave you, Corliss," he promised, reaching out to touch her arm gently. "And neither will Roy. You're one of us now- everyone thinks so."

"But you don't like me best…"

"Be patient, Corliss. Some day you'll find someone who does- just like Riza and Roy found each other. It might be me; it might be someone else. Just give it time, and try not to be jealous of Riza. She and Roy went through their fair share of heartbreak up until now and it's still going on..." Havoc laughed grimly, "in fact, you're probably the luckiest out of all of us. You haven't got anyone to hurt you like we do, but you're still not alone."

"I like you, Mr Havoc," said Corliss, latching onto his arm with a naïve smile and a giggle.

Havoc grinned, "I like you too, Little Sis."