How long had her eyes been reading the same line over and over again? It seemed like it had been such a long time, but there she was, still hoping that it would disappear or change. But even when her glare was so heated that it could drill holes on the paper, the rule didn't disappear.
Rule #5: Don't fall in love.
It was the only rule that Elsa implemented; the only reason why she accepted.
Elsa was already against the idea of dating, repeatedly saying how it was weird for best friends to pretend to be lovers. It was already one thing that Anna realized she was gay or bi, but to fall for her own best friend? Of all the girls to fall in love with, it just had to be Elsa! Why?! And now, she has to act normal because they were still in a pseudo-relationship. She couldn't let Elsa notice her feelings, especially when the blonde warned her about this beforehand!
Absolutely not! NO! WAY!
Then, there was also Elsa being distant ever since that night in the club. They would talk, but not a conversation as long as what they used to have. Of course, if Anna was being normal, she would've already busted her way through. But no. She wasn't the past her anymore. This time, she acknowledged her own feelings... and it only made things complicated.
"E-Elsa?"
Anna shuffled uncomfortably around the corner, knowing full well that she did something reckless and has to explain herself. It was harder than anything she had ever done before simply because she couldn't get Elsa's words off her head: how Anna would let that stranger kiss her but flinched away when she tried. Knowing Elsa, she was probably trying to make her realize how reckless she was that night.
I realized it, alright.
Anna could try and explain, but the only explanation was that she couldn't kiss her best friend, especially when there were feelings involved.
Elsa wasn't any better herself. She respected Anna and couldn't stop berating herself for almost forcing a kiss on the girl solely because of jealousy. If it wasn't for Anna flinching away from her, she would've done it. But still, that didn't mean it didn't hurt to see Anna look afraid of her, and how it was her who made Anna uneasy. Elsa was glad she was able to stop herself in time, but she hated how she was only able to do it because of Anna.
"Yeah?" Elsa asked without looking back.
"A-About the n-night in the c-club," Anna began, failing to notice the way Elsa stiffened. They hadn't talked about that yet. There were times when Anna tried to open the topic, but Elsa would always shrug it off.
"Let's no—"
"That girl and I didn't kiss," Anna promised. Of all things, she didn't want Elsa to misunderstand her proximity with the other blonde. Especially not when it was Elsa running inside her head the entire time.
However, Elsa only felt conflicted. To hear Anna admit that she and that girl didn't kiss was good news, but, nonetheless, they were close enough to do it. If she hadn't arrived, they would've done it. More importantly, why did Anna let a random girl get close to her that way? Was she that curious about how homosexuality worked? Didn't it matter if she kissed a guy or a girl?
Elsa didn't know what hurts the most: Anna letting another woman kiss her, Anna flinching away from her when she initiated a kiss, Anna with a guy, or Anna with a girl who wasn't her? Everything was confusing, and Elsa didn't know how to deal with it. Because this time, she was jealous of a girl.
"Anna." Elsa adjusted on her seat, finally looking at a fidgety redhead. For a moment, she hesitated. "Are you that curious? You'd let a stranger kiss you because you want to understand?"
Hearing it explained that way made Anna feel twice as stupid. So her actions were impulsive, but she was desperate then. Regardless of how strong those feelings were slowly becoming, she didn't want to believe that she was looking at her best friend romantically.
"I'm sorry."
"Were you able to get it?" Elsa asked, clutching her knees. "You said you wanted to understand why I'm into girls. Well? Were you able to do it?"
"I," Anna paused. "Elsa, I'm sorry. I was... I don't know what came over me a-and... I was under the influence of... alcohol."
Maybe that lady bartender was right. Being gay wasn't something she can just figure out. It was something that has to be 'felt'. Even Elsa said so. It was only like falling for a guy. Those nonsensical words from them, it made sense now. It did, but Anna couldn't understand why she had to experience it with Elsa. Of all people, why did it have to be with Elsa?
"It's fine." Elsa sighed and looked at her papers again. "It already happened. Let's just forget about it."
"B-But y-you're angry."
"I'm not. I just need to finish these."
"O-Okay... I'll... be in my room."
Anna didn't know what to do with herself. She wanted to hug Elsa and assure her that nothing happened between her and the girl in the bar, but at the same time, she was reluctant. They weren't real girlfriends. It was all fake and there weren't supposed to be any feelings attached. Besides, this was Elsa. She knew that the blonde was only angry because she was careless with her decisions again. Maybe it's for the best, she thought as she walked back to her room.
As soon as her door shut, she leaned on her back and slowly slid down to the floor. She was trembling and feeling so cold. Finally acknowledging that she was in love with Elsa and suddenly, the same woman was being distant to her? Her eyes burned and, this time, she couldn't stop it. She hugged her knees and bit her lower lip to try and stifle her own cries.
There was no way she would let Elsa hear that she was crying.
Meanwhile, Elsa couldn't concentrate on her papers anymore. Her elbows were propped up on the table as she rubbed her temples in an attempt to calm down. She knew she was being cold. But knowing that some other girl almost kissed Anna... It was nerve-wracking.
The longer she couldn't get herself together, the more chances there were for Elsa to think that something was up. Anna knew that for a fact, and she was slowly getting irritated at herself. Usually, she would sit in front of the blonde no matter how busy she was while doing some research. Marveling at Elsa's beauty had always been one of her favorite pastimes. This time though, it only made her heart feel conscious.
"Anna?"
The breath caught on the back of Anna's throat the moment she caught a rhythmical knock on her door. Usually, hearing that would make her beam in delight, but this time, it made her alert. "Y-Yes?!" Anna shrieked, coughing a few times to straighten her voice. She stood from her chair and hastily opened the door. "H-Hi!"
"Hi." Elsa dipped her head and bit her lower lip, seemingly unsure of what to say. "I was... wondering if you're free."
"Now?"
"Yeah."
"Uhm..." Anna swallowed once and looked inside her room, pretending to think about something. "Yeah! Yeah, I'm... free."
"Can I ask you out?"
"D-D-Date?"
"I guess?" Elsa answered uncertainly. "I was thinking... Maybe you want to hang out together? It can be a friendly date or girlfriend date... if you want."
"S-Sure! Uhm... where?" Anna mentally went through her closet; she had to know what to wear. She didn't want to look ridiculous beside Elsa - and she never even cared about that before. Before, she wouldn't mind, but now she wanted to make sure she looked presentable.
"Amusement park... maybe?"
A beaming smile lit up Anna's face at the suggestion, excitement taking over her that she ended up tackling Elsa into a huge bone-crushing hug. She realized a little too late what she just did, and now it would be awkward if she let go.
Act normal, she reminded herself.
But Elsa was so soft that if Anna wasn't careful, she surely wouldn't be able to let go, especially when she felt a pair of arms wrapped around her protectively. Now that Elsa was hugging her back and seemed like the anger had passed, Anna had to wonder when she started falling. Was that the reason why she would always choose the blonde over someone else? Why she always loved it when Elsa hugged her? When the blonde kissed her on the forehead? Why she hated it when Elsa's attention wasn't on hers? She's my best friend, she thought.
"I'm sorry," Anna whispered.
"For what?" Elsa asked in an equal hush tone.
"For being reckless. I-I swear nothing happened with that girl." Anna squeezed Elsa once and was rewarded with a soft caress at the back of her head. I could get used to this, she guiltily noted.
"Just... don't do that again, Anna. I know you get curious easily, but you have to think before you act," Elsa gently admonished. "I'm not mad at you. I'm angry at what you did."
"Sorry..."
"Hey." Elsa pulled back, greeting Anna with a warm and gentle smile. "I'll be fine as long as you don't do anything rash again. Besides, I went a little far too. I mean I tried to... kiss you." Her statement was accompanied by a light blush on her cheeks.
"T-That's," Anna sputtered. "Y-You were just trying to knock some sense into me and... w-were you really about to...?" Way to be obvious, Anna mentally berated herself.
No matter how many times Elsa tried to prepare herself for that question, it still made her panic the moment it was voiced out. There were no other excuses because she really was about to kiss the redhead that time. If Anna didn't flinch, she could've done it. But she couldn't just say that, right?
"What about it?" Elsa asked instead. Maybe it was the coward's way out, but at least she could hear a response from Anna without revealing anything from her side.
"S-Sorry for... a-avoiding? I was... shocked and y-you looked angry so I thought... but I swear I wasn't going to let that girl kiss me! I was about to push her away but you did it before I can! I-I can't really kiss any other girl but you anyway! I-I mean we're... well, I-I'm comfortable with you a-and... n-nevermind."
Elsa watched as Anna's face turned cherry red, feeling her own face heat up. I wonder if you can still say the same thing if I told you how I feel, she thought. "I'm flattered, but I still think we should hold that kiss for now."
"A-Anyway! Don't you dare leave without me!"
Elsa giggled as Anna closed the door and shuffled into her room, happy that the girl was slowly going back to normal. She was glad that they had that talked out. It was her who started acting cold anyway; it was only fair for her to take the first step of making up. Elsa sighed and walked back to the living room, waiting for a certain redhead to come out.