A quick A/N before you read- There's a bit of material at the end of this chapter that I feel is a bit too mature for the T rating. However I didn't want to change the rating of the whole story because of one small section. Therefore if you're uncomfortable with (or not old enough) to read, then please stop when Rachel crawls into Noah's bed. I'd be more than happy to summarize if you PM me.

"Love is an act of endless forgiveness, a tender look which becomes a habit." – Peter Ustinov

It only takes a few hours for Noah to show up at the hospital and come barging into the room. There's something in the way he looks at her and the baby in her arms that tells Rachel that this isn't going to be an easy conversation.

"What the fuck are you doing?" he questions. His arm reaches behind him to shove the door closed, the sound echoing through the room. "I just got a call from your Daddy telling me that I needed to come talk some sense into you."

Her skin bristles at the words and she rocks the little girl back and forth for a moment, her frown prominent on her face. "I'm not sure why he was concerned, Noah, or why he felt the need to concern you. I promise you there is nothing untoward going on here and I really don't appreciate the attitude you are giving me right now."

"Don't even fucking try to deflect away from what we were talking about." He scrubs his hands along his face, his fingers digging into the skin near his temples. A small sigh escapes past his lips and she watches as he pulls out a stool, his body dropping down onto it. "Your Dads are obviously worried about you which makes me worried about you." He looks tired, his eyes scanning over the two of them with concern.

"Why don't you let the nurses watch her for the rest of the night and you can come back and visit in the morning." His voice is pleading and she knows without a doubt that her Daddy has said more to him than he's letting on. She hates feeling like a child, hates feeling like they are talking behind her back. It kind of pisses her off. "She's already asleep for the night and the only time she'll wake up is for feedings or to get changed."

"I'm not leaving her, Noah." The words are resolute, leaving no room for his input.

"Rachel," he replies, his voice deep and growly, "I'm not asking." She lets out a small chuckle, her eyes rolling at his dramatics. It isn't until she looks up at him and sees the sadness in his eyes that she realizes he's not joking. "Your Dads are waiting in the lobby and if you don't leave willingly they are going to call security to escort you off the premises."

"How could you do this to me?" she questions him, the venom in her voice cutting through the air. "I'm just worried about her and I want her to be safe, Noah. I figured out of everyone, you would understand that. Then again," she pauses for a moment to swallow her anger, "you gave up your child with no questions asked so an abandoned baby is nothing new to you." The minute the words leave her lips she wishes she could take them back and for a moment neither of them moves, breathes.

It's then that she hears the hitch in his voice and sees the way his shoulders crumble. She sets the baby in the small plastic crib next to her and moves closer to him, her hand trembling as she reaches out to touch him. His fists are clenched at his sides and she pauses halfway across the room. "Noah," she murmurs. Her voice is quiet but over the silence in the room it sounds loud. His head shakes back and forth and she pauses waiting for the yelling and the swearing that she knows are his coping techniques.

"If you leave now," he whispers, "I'll pretend that you didn't just say that." He looks up at her, his eyes filled with unshed tears and some other emotion she can't quite name. "Just walk away from this room and don't look back and I promise it will be like you never said the words." She feels her heart start to crumble in her chest and she looks back at the crib, sadness filling her.

"I can't just leave her."

"And I can't watch you self-destruct again." The door opens behind her and she turns around to look at her two Dads and the two bodyguards with them. "I'm sorry," Noah replies sadly, "I gave you the choice." Her Dad moves to stand beside Noah, hand resting against his shoulder.

She only looks back once, her eyes darting from the crib to the man crumbling beside it.

##

For the first day she's so angry she refuses to talk to anyone. It's easier to pretend then to deal with the hurt and betrayal. Her Dads stay out of her way for the most part, occasionally popping their head into her room to make sure she's alive or to set a bottle of water and some sort of food on the edge of her desk. She keeps her phone next to her on the bed, her eyes lingering on the screen each time it lights up.

The name is never the one that she wants to see.

On the second day she waits until her Dad and Daddy have both left for work before she leaves her room. The house is quiet and it feels like it's pressing down on her, suffocating her slowly. The first person she calls is Kurt and he doesn't pick up his phone, so then she calls Finn. He leaves the front door unlocked for her and she finds him sitting in his room, brow furrowed in concern as he waits for her.

Neither of them really says much of anything. It's pretty obvious that he knows something is going down; he doesn't turn on the TV or the radio but sits resting against his pillows silently watching her. It isn't until Kurt arrives that she lets the tears she's been fighting off tumble down her face.

"I think you need to talk to Puck about this," Kurt whispers a little while later, after she's calmed down a bit. "It's not my place to tell you this but he was here last night with Finn and it wasn't pretty." Finn's got this conflicted look on his face and she's pretty sure that Kurt shouldn't be telling her any of this. She kind of loves him for it, though.

Instead of going home and suffering through more silence, she spends the night in Kurt's room watching classic movies and musicals until they both pass out in his bed. Finn joins them again in the morning and she makes pancakes for the three of them. It's almost like nothing has changed and as nice as she thinks that would be, it would also be a lie.

##

The thing that bothers Rachel is that she knows how much she messed up. She was angry and she wanted to make Noah angry and it ended up backfiring on her in big way. It takes her most of the day to build up the courage she needs and then before she can really even think about it she finds herself standing in front of the Puckerman residence, hand knocking on the door. She's not really sure if he knows it's her and is ignoring her or if he doesn't hear her knocking. Either way she's not giving up now that she's made up her mind.

Rachel climbs over the wire fence blocking the Puckerman's backyard and grabs the hide-a-key box sitting on the porch. It was something Eva had told her about years ago and she's kind of surprised that in all that time it hasn't moved. She flips her shoes off, listening to the silence of the house, and checks the calendar on the fridge. Eva is working late, Noah's sister is staying a friends.

She's been in the house enough times to know her way around and she trudges her way up the stairs and down the hall to the last room on the left. It's quiet and the room is dark but she knows before she even shoves the door open that he's inside. He's laying on his bed, a pair of ear-buds shoved into his ears, and his eyes are closed. Rachel lets the door click closed behind her and makes her way over to his bed, hand resting on his arm.

"What're you doing here?" he mumbles. His voice is thick, grainy, and she knows without a doubt that he's hungover. He squints up at her through slits in his eyes, a sad sigh escaping his lips, before he pulls the headphones out.

"I wanted to see you," she replies softly, "to talk." He shifts to the side, making room for her to lie next to him but otherwise he doesn't say a word. The bed feels familiar, comfortable, and it reminds her of so many memories through the years that she's kind of taken back at the awkwardness surrounding them now.

"Let's hear it," he grumbles, his hand brushing against his tired looking face. He's wearing a façade in front of her and it hurts almost as much as she's sure she hurt him. "I thought you wanted to talk?" he growls, frustrated. "So talk."

"I'm not sure what to say to make it right," she replies sadly. "I'm not sure anything I say can undo what's already been said." He lets out a sort of huff, his head crashing against his pillow and his eyes clenching tight. She watches him for just a second, before the words tumble from her lips. "I wanted her so badly, Noah. As crazy as it sounds, I couldn't see beyond that."

His eyes crack open to look at her but he doesn't make a sound and for the first time in quite awhile she feels nervous around him, the words continuing to spill out. "It seemed like fate in a way, the mother just walking up to me and handing me the baby. She was so tiny and so helpless and I just felt this need to be there for her, to protect her." Tears trickle down her cheeks as she gasps for air, the pain and honesty of the words a new fresh wound.

The bed shifts and she's moved to the middle, his body hovering just over the top of hers. There's a flash of something in his eyes and across his face and before she can really react, he leans down and presses his lips against hers. It's a push and pull of lips and tongues, their bodies bending and pressing together. Her fingers tangle in the small patch of hair near the nape of his neck and a small whimper escapes his lips as he pulls away.

"Rachel," he whispers. His hands wrap around her wrists, tugging her hands away from his neck and over the top of her head. He presses down against her for just a moment before pulling back and holding her arms still. He moves his mouth over her lips, her eyes, her cheeks, and then her neck and ears. "How do you think it felt," he questions his body dipping into hers before pulling back. "Hearing those words out of your mouth?"

She lets out a small cry, her eyes clenching tight. "Horrible," she replies loudly. "I'm sure it felt horrible." Using one hand to hold her wrists, the other moved lower, snaking under her shirt his fingers running along the length of her stomach. Her whole body shivers and arches and he looks down at her, his face serious.

"I was trying to protect you," he continues, his nail dipping into her bellybutton before tracing the waistband of her skirt, "trying to help you." His hand stops for a second, his eyes closing as he looks down on her, "trying to be there for you." There's a hitch in his voice and she closes her eyes, listening to the sound of his ragged breathing.

"Noah," the word tumbles from her lips and her body trembles as the tears streak down her face. Instead of responding, his hand moves lower, his fingers shoving her underwear aside. He presses against her for just a moment, before entering her quickly. A grunt escapes past his lips.

"Do you think," his eyes are clenched tight, jaw strained and he halts his movements as he continues to talk, "this would feel any better if we could make a kid?" He pulls back slightly before plunging back in as if to emphasize his point. Her labored breathing matches his and she flexes her wrists for just a moment testing his hold. He lets more of his weight press down onto her and she can feel his heart beating against her skin. Before she can answer he continues.

"It would feel exactly the fucking same, Rachel. It would be just as fucking good. Just as magical," a small cry escapes her lips and she opens her eyes, the intensity of his gaze burning through her. "Do you understand yet?"

A tear falls down his cheek and splashes against her face and she finds that she can't take her eyes away from him as his forehead presses against hers. "I don't fucking care that you can't have kids or that you're crazier than a fucking loony. I knew all of that before I even got involved with you, Rach. What I care about is you and me, us, together."

"I love you." The words tumble from her lips and she thinks she's never meant them more in her life.

"I know," he replies seriously, "and I love you too. That's why I can forgive you."

I hope you know that you guy's are pretty awesome. I'm planning to get to the review replies tonight or tomorrow with (hopefully) some new insights. Until then, thanks as always!

N