The next day Lily sat at the Gryffindor table, trying not to fall asleep into her porridge. Her eyes burned, and she had neglected to put any effort into her appearance.
Will sat down next to her and saw her face, with her bloodshot eyes and dark moons stamped under her eyes. "Wow, you look like crap," he remarked.
Lily glared at him. "Thanks."
"Sorry. I just meant you look tired. Late night patrolling?" He asked. He combed his fingers through her hair, attempting to untangle some of the mess.
Lily gave a subtle look to James, who shook his head once. "Yeah. Some fourth years were sneaking around. It took a while to deal with them." Her look at James didn't go unnoticed by Will. He glared at James, and put his arm around Lily. James flashed a grin at Will.
"I'm sorry. Maybe you can get some rest before dinner tonight." He kissed the top of her head. Lily nodded, pushing her food around. She didn't feel like eating or resting. She wanted to take her anger out on something. She felt useless in this situation, and neither she nor James knew what to do. She wondered if she should try to talk with Severus, convince him to get Dumbledore's help. She wasn't sure how serious it was to take the Mark, but she was sure that it would be difficult to pull himself out now. She felt like she had to do something, like she had to stop him.
She still missed being his friend, and she wanted to keep him safe. She hated his friends for dragging him into this. She sighed. No matter what happened though, it was nobody's fault but his own. He could have said no, gotten help, something.
Lily was pulled from her thoughts by Remus joining them at the table. He leaned over to Lily and whispered, "Lily you look worse than I do."
She laughed. "Well that's because you look gorgeous. I'm glad the potion is working."
He smiled, then looked at her sadly. "James told me what happened last night, I'm sorry." Will, at this point, was eavesdropping.
"What do you mean? What happened last night?" He looked at James, then at Remus.
"He just meant the patrols, Will. I didn't get to bed until two or so," Lily said, calming him with a look.
"That's true, I heard her come in late," Marlene said, through a mouthful of sausage.
Will nodded, though he looked at James again. James smiled to himself, glad that he could make him insecure.
Remus spoke up, "Are you guys ready to go to Potions?" Lily nodded and stood up, But Will grabbed her hand and kissed her, much more intensely than she would have liked to display in the Great Hall. She pulled away and furrowed her brow. She shook her head at him. He gave her his now-signature confused look whenever she held back physically.
She, Remus, and James walked to Potions together. "I don't think I should be lying to him. He's already worried."
"Well you can't exactly tell him that your ex best friend is a Death Eater, and that he may try to attack you," James said, rubbing her back as they walked. "The less people that know about it, the better. Who knows what kind of chaos would ensue if everyone thought Death Eaters were roaming about." She stepped away from him, and James pulled his arm back, forgetting that he wasn't supposed to be too friendly with her.
Her eyes widened. "You don't think he would attack me, would he?" James shrugged and pushed open the door to the dungeon. Snape wasn't anywhere to be seen, much to Lily's relief.
They settled onto their stools and began brewing. Lily tried to concentrate on the potion, but her mind kept wandering. James grabbed her wrist right as she was about to add crushed beetle. She looked at him in bewilderment. "Lily, you aren't supposed to add those yet, right? Won't it like, explode?"
Lily looked down at her book, confused. He was right, she had entirely skipped a step. She nodded and thanked him. He looked at her. If she was messing up potions, she must be really distraught. He patted her awkwardly on the back. She tried to laugh and returned to the potion.
Later, after class, she went up to her dorm and slept right through dinner. Unfortunate for her, James, Sirius, and Remus all did too, and their absence was noticed by Will and the rest of the Gryffindors.
In complete character, rumors spread around Hogwarts that James and Lily were becoming more than friends. Everyone had noticed the increased contact and the time they were spending together. Lily had to fire back sarcastic retorts to anyone who mentioned it, but Will was still not happy with the situation. As the week went on, he had taken to aggressively displaying their relationship in public places. He held her hand whenever they walked through the corridors, kissed her before every class, and spent all of their meal times with his hand wrapped around her waist.
Lily thought this was a stupid response to the whole ordeal, but she decided not to say anything. She figured it would only make things worse if she and Will got into another fight.
James, however, was loving the situation. He smiled whenever he heard people saying that they seemed like they could be a good couple. He wasn't helping the rumors, as he wasn't denying anything. He wan't confirming anything either though, so he didn't see an issue.
Later in the week, James was laying on his bed, debating how long he could procrastinate his Transfiguration essay before he really needed to start it. Remus and Peter came in and stood over his bed ominously.
"Are you going to kidnap me?" James joked. They both sat down.
"I know what you're doing, Prongs," Remus said, looking at his shoes.
"Procrastinating? Yeah I know, I'll start it in a bit," James said, laughing.
"I know you're enjoying the rumors that are spreading about you and Lily."
James rolled his eyes. "Oh please, I'm not doing anything."
"Well, you're not helping."
"What do you want me to do? Publicly announce that Lily and I, are in fact, not together? That would just make everyone think we're trying to hide it," James scoffed, rolling off his bed.
"You're just hurting Lily, she's already dealing with enough right now, she doesn't need the whole student body debating her love life," Peter said, though he recoiled when James glared at him.
Remus sighed, "Look, Prongs, I know you don't want to hear this, but Lily isn't going to date you." He backtracked when he saw his face. "Right now, at least." Remus went over to his side of the room and pretended to tidy his bed, which was already made. "I'm just saying, maybe you should try to move on, and just settle with being friends with her."
James looked from Remus to Peter, then back at Remus. "Thanks for the support guys. It means a lot," he said sarcastically, with a little more bite in his tone than he intended.
"James-" Peter started, but was cut off by James slamming the door behind him. He trotted down the steps and saw Will and Lily sitting on the couch. He had his arm around her, and Lily was reading her Transfiguration book, frowning. James rolled his eyes and climbed out of the portrait hole, heading for the grounds.
He walked around, ending up at the lake. He sat on the shore and started tossing rocks into the black water, watching the ripples they made when they landed.
He knew they were right, but there was always a little hopeful voice in his head that said that he and Lily could end up together. The voice had gotten louder, especially after the break. They had become such good friends, and always spent so much time together. But she spends just as much time with Peter, Sirius, and Remus, another voice in his head said maliciously, she isn't interested in any of them, either.
James shook his head. This was different though. There was something else between them, he was sure of it.
He laid down on his back, looking up at the sky. He supposed he should try to get over her. He knew he never would be able to, but he should at least try, for her sake. He knew that he was just hurting her by still being interested in her. But it had only been six months, and she had already warmed up to him so much. At this rate they could be married by the end of seventh year. He chuckled at that thought. Maybe he was getting ahead of himself.
He sighed, took off his glasses, and rubbed his eyes.
"Hey, mate." Sirius' voice pulled him from his thoughts.
"How'd you know I was out here?" James asked. Sirius held up the map, and James nodded. Of course.
"Moony told me what happened."
"Whatever. It doesn't matter," James brushed it off and sat up again. He sat with his legs bent, his arms around them. Sirius sat down beside him.
"I'm sure it does," Sirius patted his back. "Maybe you just need to find a bird to shag and you'll get over her," he joked.
James rolled his eyes, "I could shag a hundred girls, it wouldn't change anything." Maybe he was right though. He could find a nice girl to distract him for a while. It'd help with dispelling the rumors, he thought.
Sirius shrugged. "A hundred girls? Maybe you should at least try." James rolled his eyes, "Strictly for research purposes, of course." Sirius amended, grinning wickedly.
"Maybe I can find someone to mess around for a while with," he mumbled.
Sirius laughed. "Maybe you'll make her jealous and she'll come running."
"That's the exact opposite of what I'm trying to do, Pads." James flopped back down again.
"Well Valentine's Day is coming up, I'm sure any girl would be desperate to go to Hogsmeade with you," Sirius suggested, tossing a rock in the water.
James opened one eye and looked at Sirius. "That's not a bad idea."
"You could ask that Lydia girl."
James gave Sirius a quizzical look. "I thought she had a crush on Moony."
James thought he saw Sirius tense, but maybe it was just the cold breeze. He spoke up, "Nah, and Moony would never go for her anyways. She's too-" he hesitated, "Girly."
"Too girly?"
"Yeah, I just don't think she's his type," Sirius said simply.
"Do you think Moony would be mad if I asked her?" James asked.
Sirius shook his head. "Nah, I don't think he would care."
"Are you sure?" James confirmed. He didn't want to undercut Remus just to try to get over Lily.
Sirius didn't answer for a moment, staring out of the water. His demeanor changed completely, deviating from his usual carefree attitude as a somber, pensive look crossed his face. "Can I talk to you about something?" He asked. James nodded, a little confused. "I just," he paused, nervously playing with a strand of his hair. "First off I just want to tell you that I hope that what I'm about to say isn't going to change anything in our friendship."
"What do you mean?" James asked, worried.
"I'm still the same person, the person you've been friends with for years-"
James interrupted, "Sirius, what's wrong? Are you okay?" Sirius' tone and hesitation worried him.
Sirius looked up from his hands, meeting James' eye. "James, I'm in a relationship with Remus. I'm bisexual."
"Oh."
"I'm sorry if this makes you uncomfortable, or if you don't-"
James cut him off by reaching out and grabbing his hand from its place in his hair. "I'm not uncomfortable. I know you're still the same Sirius. This doesn't change anything." Sirius gave him a lopsided smile. "We've been friends since we were eleven." James shook his head. "No, we're brothers. We're family, and we'll always be family."
"I love you," Sirius said, his voice cracking slightly.
"I love you too." James pulled Sirius' hand and they hugged, embracing each other. "I'm glad you decided to tell me."
"Lily knows too."
"What?" He pulled away from the hug. "You told Lily before you told me? Your best friend?"
"We didn't mean to. She walked in on us, you know," he said sheepishly.
"I'm hurt," James accused, laughing lightly. He smiled at Sirius. "Well at least you told me. How long has this been going on?"
"Since September," Sirius answered.
"You've been together for," he counted on his fingers, "eight months, and you just decided to tell me?" He asked, incredulous.
"We were scared. We didn't want things to change," Sirius explained quietly.
James shook his head. "I feel terrible that you felt scared to tell me."
"It wasn't the fact that it was you in particular, it's just the fact that people always think differently of you when you tell them something like that," Sirius said.
"You can tell me anything and I would never stop being friends with you. I will love and support you no matter what you decide to do."
"What if I became a Death Eater?" Sirius joked.
James wrinkled his nose. "Alright almost anything you decide to do." He leaned back against his pillows. "So Remus, huh?" He shook his head. "Unbelievable. Even Moony and Wormtail are getting more action than I am."
Lily woke up and groaned. It was Valentine's Day. She hated Valentine's Day. Not because she wanted to be cool and hate romance and love. She loved romance, and would love Valentine's Day if everyone in the castle wasn't grossly displaying their affection. Every person felt forced to find a date to the Hogsmeade weekend, which was ridiculous to her. Everyone always ended up disappointed somehow. It is a stupid holiday designed to make people buy overpriced chocolate and flowers.
Mary had been on a quest to get Sirius to ask her to Hogsmeade and was flirting relentlessly with him. Lily wanted to tell her why he would never ask her out, but she couldn't. She tried not to get her hopes up, and even suggested that she go out with one of Will's roommates, or Anna's boyfriend's friend from Ravenclaw.
She had her eyes set on Sirius, though.
Lily was mostly dreading facing Will. He had gotten more aggressive in order to show that they were very much a couple. She feared he would do something crazy today to remind everyone that they were, in fact, dating. She felt like he might as well let a billboard that said in big bold letters, "I, Will Price, am dating Lily Jane Evans."
She thought for a second. She didn't think he knew her middle name, and she definitely didn't know his.
She rolled out of bed and went to brush her teeth. She was not expecting what she found in the bathroom. It was like they had opened a hair salon in the middle of the loo.
Anna, Alice, Marlene, and Mary were all shoved in the bathroom, each one fighting for mirror space. They were applying lip gloss, fixing their hair, and looking at their outfits. She smiled at the ordeal, then quietly closed the door and walked down the stairs and up the boys staircase. She knocked on the boy's door, and Peter opened it. He was wearing a nice button down shirt, and slicked his hair back.
His hair pulled back like that gave his face a sharper definition, kind of making him look like a rat. Lily smiled, "You look sharp, Pete!"
He blushed. "Do you think so?" He played with his cuff sleeves. "It's for Stacy."
Lily smiled. Peter had been dating the fourth year he danced with at the Halloween party, but she didn't actually know her name until now. "I'm happy for you. She's lucky to go out with such a gentleman." She stepped inside.
Sirius looked at her. "Lily, why are you in your pajamas? Are we going to have a pillow fight?" He winked at her, and she rolled her eyes.
She held up her toothbrush. "Can I use your bathroom to brush my teeth? Mine has been overrun."
He nodded, "Yeah, James is in the shower, but you can wait until he's done. Or you can join him." He winked again.
Lily looked down at her feet, "Please don't," she said quietly.
Sirius blinked stupidly and he looked at Remus, who shook his head. "Shit sorry, I didn't mean anything by that. I was just joking."
"It's okay," Lily said, still looking at her feet. She heard the bathroom door open and James emerged in a towel.
"Hey Padfoot, do you think Lydia will want to shag me if I wear your cologne?"
Lily cleared her throat, and James noticed her.. His eyes widened; he looked stricken. "Lily, what are you doing in here?" He looked at her tank top and shorts. She definitely was not wearing a bra. "Are you in your pajamas?"
She laughed. "No this is my Valentine's day outfit, do you like it?" James looked at her, bewildered. "You dolt, yes these are my pajamas. I just wanted to brush my teeth in your bathroom, if that's okay." She held her toothbrush up again weakly.
James nodded and stepped out of the doorway, gesturing for her to go in. She slipped in and felt the steam of James' shower hit her. She cleared the condensation off of the mirror with her palm and looked at her reflection. She frowned. Was he going with Lydia to Hogsmeade?
She shook her head. That did not matter to her. Not at all. She started brushing her teeth.
Outside in the dorm, James rounded on Sirius, "Fuck Pads you couldn't have told me she was in here before I came out shouting about screwing a random girl?"
Sirius threw up his hands in defense, "What was I supposed to do? Open the door to your bare arse and let you know that the love of your life was hanging out in here?"
"She is not the love of my life, Merlin." James kicked his shoe under his bed. "Fuck, I'm so stupid."
Lily emerged from the bathroom, and looked at James, then looked away quickly. "Sorry to interrupt. Thank you for letting me borrow your bathroom. I'll see you guys at Hogsmeade."
She quickly slipped out the door, and stood against the wood for a minute. She realized how this might look to an outsider, emerging from James' dorm in nothing but a thin tank top and some shorts. She sprinted down their staircase and up her own, slamming the door behind her, breathing heavily.
She sat on her bed and brushed her hair, then put on a sweater and a nice pair of dark jeans.
She peeked into the bathroom again, "Hey guys, I'm going to be in the common room whenever you're done."
Mary waved at her, "Sorry to take over the bathroom, Lily!"
Lily laughed. "That's okay. You look beautiful, by the way!" Mary giggled and spun around. Lily gave her a thumbs up, then shut the door. She went down the steps to the common room.
What she saw horrified her. Will was standing in the middle of the common room, and surrounding him were a dozen bouquets of white lilies.
Will laughed at her face, which he must have taken for surprise rather than terror. "Do you like it? Lilies for my Lily Flower." He pulled her in for a kiss. She kissed him back, but kept her eyes open, looking at the bouquets in the periphery of her vision.
They pulled apart. Will was looking at her expectantly. Lily forgot he asked her a question. "Oh! Yes, they're um, they're lovely. Thank you."
He smiled and kissed her again. Mary came down and saw all of the bouquets and gasped, "Oh, wow, Lily this is so beautiful!"
"Not as beautiful as the real Lily," Will said, wrapping his arm around her waist.
Lily smiled and poked his cheek. "That was cheesy."
Will laughed and kissed her again. "I'm okay with that." He pulled away. "Listen, I'm going to run up to my dorm real quick, but I'll be right back and we can head down to breakfast."
He ran up the stairs and Lily turned to Mary, her eyes wide.
Mary looked at her, confusion spread on her face, "What's wrong? I thought you loved romance!"
"I do!" She sighed. "I do, just not this, um, public," she explained, lamely.
"I think it's sweet!" Mary exclaimed, stroking the petals of one of the flowers.
"It is sweet, I just wish it wasn't on display for all of the house to see." Several fourth years walked by, snickering. Lily watched them pass. "See? I'm a joke." She immediately quieted when she heard footsteps coming from the boy's staircase. It was just the Marauders though.
Sirius whistled. "Damn Lily, did Will clear out every florist in the country?"
Lily's face turned red. "Don't, please. I'm already mortified."
Sirius laughed, "Sorry that someone loves you, Lily." He squeezed her shoulder on his way past, and the rest nodded at her. James deliberately did not make eye contact, which made Lily feel even more embarrassed.
Will came down at that moment, and they headed down to the Great Hall together.
Lily rolled her eyes at the display. There was pink everywhere, and there was heart shaped confetti all over the table. That was another thing she didn't like about Valentine's Day. The red and pink clashed horribly with her hair.
They sat down and Lily started to serve herself some toast, but Will slammed a box down on the table, making her jump.
He laughed, "Sorry, I'm just excited." Lily eyed the box suspiciously. "It's not going to explode confetti or anything, don't worry."
Lily nodded and delicately undid the giant pink bow and pulled the paper off. Inside there was a framed picture of them at Slughorn's party. It was a wizard photograph, so it moved back and forth. Will from the picture waved up at her, then returned to his place.
Will had his arm around her waist, and was kissing her head. Lily had her eyes closed and was laughing. It was a cute picture. Lily had forgotten they had even taken it. Some third year was going around taking pictures of everyone at the party.
"I had to track down that third year and have him go through all of the pictures to get it. Do you like it?" Will asked, beaming down at her. She smiled at how sweet he was, and she really did like the picture.
Lily nodded. "I'm sorry I didn't get you anything, I just completely forgot this was even coming up."
Will's face flashed disappointment, but it was gone as soon as it came. Lily saw it, though. "That's okay, you're my present." He kissed her forehead.
"You're just full of cheesy lines today, huh?" He nodded and kissed her again.
Down the table James watched them out of the corner of his eye. He had been panicking. He turned back to his friends. "Should I have gotten Lydia flowers? Or a gift or something? I didn't think I had to, I thought gifts were just for their birthdays. What do I do?"
Peter laughed. "Prongs calm down. It's your first date, I'm sure she's not expecting anything."
James put his head in his hands. "Why did I do this? Do I have to take her Madam Puddifoot's?"
Sirius shook his head. "Just take her to Honeydukes and buy her some chocolate then walk around or something."
"It's freezing!"
"Then go to The Three Broomsticks, I don't know," Sirius shrugged.
"Padfoot, you're supposed to be the one good with girls! Tell me what to do," James pleaded.
Remus snorted. James looked at him and Remus looked up, "Sorry, I uh, got some pepper in my nose." It took him a moment, but he realized why his comment was funny. He tucked his head and tried not to laugh.
Lily looked around at the display, noticing the fat little cherubs floating around.
"Will, let's not go to Hogsmeade."
He stopped chewing. "What?"
"Let's not go to Hogsmeade," she pleaded, "It's just going to be full of gross couples and I don't want to have to fight to get a drink at The Three Broomsticks and deal with everyone buying chocolate at Honeydukes. Let's just hang out in the common room or something. Please."
Will nodded slowly, then shrugged. "Yeah okay. I guess that makes sense."
Lily sighed in relief. There was another reason why she didn't want to go, but she wasn't going to tell Will about it.
Breakfast finished and everyone started out the doors into the cold February air, but Will and Lily started up towards the tower.
Sirius called out after them, "Lily, are you guys not going?"
She shook her head. "No, we're skipping the festivities today."
"Ah damn, that's smart, we should have done that."
"Nah, go find a date or something. I'm sure it won't be hard." She looked pointedly at Remus and winked.
Sirius rolled his eyes and waved them goodbye. She saw Peter walking out, hand in hand with his date and smiled. She then saw James doing the same with Lydia and her face fell slightly. She turned back to Will and started climbing the stairs.
They entered the common room, and Lily saw all of the lilies still sitting in the same place. She groaned internally. She was hoping they might have vanished by now.
Will sat on the couch and patted the spot next to him.
Lily stopped. "I'm just going to go grab my Transfiguration book, okay? I want to look over the theory for this quiz we have."
Will frowned. "Well, okay. But you aren't going to study the whole time are you?"
"No I just, it gives us something to do. You can go grab your books and we can just read on the couch today. Have a nice, quiet day." She turned and headed up the stairs. She grabbed her Transfiguration book and her Charms book too. She hadn't looked at this chapter at all so far.
She went back downstairs, and Will was reading his Potions book. He looked up. "You know you'll have to help me with Potions sometime. I think I might fail my N.E.W.T."
Lily laughed. "I'm sure you're fine. Besides it's easy. You just have to listen to the potion."
He looked taken aback. "Listen? To a potion?"
Lily nodded. "It tells you what it needs."
Will scoffed. "I think you're just crazy."
Lily scrunched her face at that and opened her book. She was stretched out on the couch with her bare feet on Will's lap, and he was sitting up, flipping through his book. She read through the chapter, intently studying the theory. She always had trouble with Transfiguration, which irked her. James never had to try at Transfiguration. She was better than him in every other subject, but she wanted to be the absolute best in everything. She had always wanted to be superior to James in school, maturity, friendships, everything, but lately, she found herself not wanting that. She still wanted to be the best, but her motivation instead was drawn from her own desire to succeed rather than a desire to succeed over James.
She also really liked whenever she did well in class and James would grin at her and give her a thumbs up. She always felt a swell of pride at that, knowing that she could impress someone who had been around powerful wizards his entire life.
She shook her head, realizing she had read an entire page of text without actually absorbing any of the information. She looked up at Will. He was absentmindedly tracing his hand over her calves as he read. She giggled and kicked her leg. He looked at her. "What?"
She shook her head. "That tickles."
He did it again and she giggled and kicked. "Are you ticklish?" She shook her head violently. "Are you sure?" She nodded, but she knew what was coming next.
He pounced on her and started tickling her sides while she thrashed under him. She screamed.
"Stop! Will, stop! Please!"
He laughed and kept tickling. She kept trying to push him off and he finally stopped. He was above her, looking down. He lowered his mouth onto hers and she felt his weight settle on to her.
She kissed him back, and his hand grabbed her waist. His other hand slipped under the hem of her sweater, sliding up her waist to grab her breast. He moved his mouth from hers and kissed down her neck. He pushed the fabric of her shirt up and kissed a trail down to the waistband of her jeans. His hands started undoing the button before she grabbed them.
"What are you doing?"
He laughed, "Well uh, trying to get your jeans off." He tried to move his hands back down but she held tight.
"Don't do that." Will gave her the confused look again. She hated that look now. "We can, you know, snog and whatnot, but not that."
"Are you afraid someone will come in? We can go up to my dorm, everyone is gone." Will made to stand up, but Lily stopped him.
"No, it's not that, I just don't want to do that," she said, looking away.
He sat back down. "Why not?"
Lily scoffed at that, thinking it was a joke. She saw his face though and realized he was serious. "Well I just don't want to do that just yet. I've told you this before."
"We've been dating for almost four months now, though."
"We've only been dating for four months," Lily corrected.
"Yeah!" Will looked at her. "I think that's a long enough time to be fooling around, Lily."
"Well maybe you think that, but I don't!" She sat up. "I'm sorry, but I wish you would understand that I'm just not ready for that."
"Lily, it's not even serious, it's just fooling around. It's not like this is going anywhere, it doesn't have to be a big deal," he said throwing his hands up.
"What?"
He looked back at her, realizing his mistake. "No, I'm sorry I didn't mean it like that, I just meant who knows if we'll be dating after the end of the term, and I just meant this doesn't have to mean anything."
Lily narrowed her eyes, "Well I'm sorry I didn't realize I was just a fling to have your last year, Will." She spat his name. "But it's a big deal to me."
He put his head in his hands. "Lily, I didn't mean it like that. I wasn't thinking. I understand your first time is a big deal, I just thought that maybe we were at that point, but I see we're not now. I'll stop. I'm sorry."
He leaned over and kissed her forehead, and she tensed. This seemed to be a pattern with him. "Listen, let's just go back to reading and forget this happened, I'm sorry." He sat back and picked up his book. Lily continued to glare at him for a few more moments, but she returned to her book as well. Her body was still tense.
They sat in silence and Will kept looking outside instead of reading. She assumed he probably wished he was out with his friends now. She supposed it was partially her fault, since she led them to an empty common room that they knew would be empty for hours. Maybe she was being a prude. Four months is a long time; maybe she should be doing those things with him.
She wasn't sure why, but every time he touched her she felt guilty, like it was some kind of taboo. She felt like she was betraying someone, but she wasn't sure who. Maybe it was herself, since she knew she wanted to wait until she was serious about the person.
Which, she thought, is not Will. That comment stung, and she was upset that he thought so little of their relationship that he assumed it would end as soon as term was over.
Now she really didn't want to fool around with him if he thought he was just going to dump her once he was done with school. She wasn't surprised. She was sure that he wasn't thinking of marrying her or anything, but she was hoping their relationship didn't have a set expiration date before it even began.
She shook her head to try to clear it of these thoughts and noticed some of their fellow students climbing through the portrait hole. Some had confetti in their hair, which she assumed were the ones that went to Madam Puddifoot's. She kept looking at the door, hoping that Sirius or Peter or Remus or James would come back and break the tension that was palpable between her and Will right now.
Neither came for a while, so she was stuck on the couch, pointedly not making eye contact with Will. Luckily Marlene came in and she waved her over.
Will stood up uncomfortably. "See you later." Lily waved and he frowned.
Marlene gave her a look. "Are you two good?"
Lily nodded. "Yeah, just tired. How was Hogsmeade?"
Marlene rolled her eyes. "Just like you said it would be. Couples snogging everywhere, all the shops jam packed with hearts and cherubs. I wish we stayed back here with you and actually got some work done."
"Yeah I figured it would be a mess. Where's Mary?" Lily asked.
"Well Sirius all but ignored her, so she ended up finding some seventh year Hufflepuff to snog in Madam Puddifoot's."
Lily laughed, "Good for her. She's too good for Sirius anyways."
"Does he have some secret girlfriend in London or something? I haven't heard him even mention a girl's name since early in fifth year." Marlene asked.
"He might. Maybe he has an older lady and he's done with us silly Hogwarts girls," Lily mused, laughing about how far that was from the truth.
Marlene sighed, "I should do that too."
"Get an older lady in London?" Lily laughed at her own joke.
Marlene shrugged. "It might be nice to date a girl, you'd probably get along better," she laughed, "And you could share clothes."
Lily sat up and looked at her, "What are you saying?"
She shrugged again. "I don't know, maybe I'm just not really attracted to boys. Or maybe all of the boys here have just lost their appeal. I think I just might like to try dating a girl or something. I don't know. Maybe it's just a phase."
Lily was surprised. Three whole gay people in Hogwarts? Then she chuckled to herself. They weren't unicorns, she supposed. They only seemed rare because people weren't going to explain their sexuality in great detail to a random stranger.
"Well that's, that's just fine." Lily had flashbacks to the Christmas party. Why was she so bad at this? "I just mean, you don't have to figure anything out right now, you can shop around, try some new things."
"That sounds like I'm buying a new couch, Lils."
Lily winced. "Yeah I know, I'm bad at this, I'm sorry. Just know that I support you. I won't tell anyone unless you do." Marlene nodded and leaned over to hug her.
"Are you sure you and Will are okay? It seemed frosty back there," Marlene said. Lily could tell she was deliberately changing the subject. She decided to go with it, hoping to make Marlene more comfortable.
She hesitated. "I don't know." Marlene looked at her. "He just, he doesn't seem to understand my feelings, and it feels like he never listens to me."
"Really?" Marlene asked. Lily could tell she wanted her to tell her more.
"Yeah. He ignores my requests about-" she paused, feeling awkward, "Being intimate," she shuddered, embarrassed to even say it aloud. "And he doesn't actually pay attention to my input or suggestions on other things."
"That sounds annoying," Marlene commented.
Lily nodded. "I just want to date someone that trusts me and values my opinion on things, you know?"
At that moment James opened the portrait hole and saw the pair sitting on the couch. He walked over, leaning on the couch for a second. "Hey Lily, would you mind looking over my Potions essay? I don't know if some of the stuff I said was accurate."
She nodded and he grinned at her. "Thanks, you know I trust your input on these things." He turned and ran up his staircase, shutting the door behind him.
Marlene turned to Lily. "Want to go get dinner?" Lily nodded and they headed down to eat.
Lily and Marlene were coming up from dinner, and the common room was deserted. Lily thought that everyone must have still been down at dinner, or they all went to find a place to snog.
Marlene started up the staircase, but Lily hung back. "I'll be up in a bit, I have to deal with these somehow." Lily gestured to the dozen bouquets of lilies that were still placed neatly at the bottom of the steps. Marlene laughed and waved her goodbye.
Lily sighed and sat on the floor in front of them, wondering what she could do with them. She conjured a vase and stood up to set it on a table. She placed one of the bouquets in it and filled it with water. She realized she could decorate the common room with them, then everyone could enjoy them. She conjured a few more vases and looked around for places to put them.
She jumped when she heard the portrait hole open, still holding a vase in one hand and bouquet in the other.
James stepped in and stopped when he saw her. He ruffled his hair. "Hey."
"Hey."
He nodded towards the vase in her hand. "Redecorating?"
She nodded and moved to set this one down on a table in the corner. "They won't all fit in my dorm room, so I figured I could just..." She gestured to the room around her vaguely.
"You don't even like lilies," James said quietly.
Lily was shocked. He was right; she didn't like lilies. "What?"
He ruffled his hair again. "Nothing. Did you have a good Valentine's Day?"
She narrowed her eyes at him. "How do you know I don't like lilies?"
James shrugged. "I don't remember. I just know you don't like them. You like sunflowers." She stared at him. "Anyways. I hope you had a good day. I'm gonna…" He pointed at his dorm and headed up the stairs. She watched him ascend the stairs slowly.
"James?" Lily called out after him. He stopped and turned around. She didn't actually know what she was going to say. "Um, I hope you had a good day too."
"Thanks, Lils. See you later." He turned and went into his dorm. Her heart was fluttering and she didn't know why.