Disclaimer: I don't own Transformers, copyright Hasbro, Seibertron's Heavy Metal War game, or War For Cybertron, just the characters that I created for my own usage on said games. I'm not making any money off of them, I just play the games for fun.
This Personae's unofficial voice credits include the late, great Mel Blanc as Dart. You'll understand why...
"Dramatis Personae"
'Death Valley'
By J.T. Magnus, 'Turbo'
Knowledge is power.
An ancient axiom, but a popular one. I think it's incomplete. I prefer 'knowledge is power when it's where it can be used effectively'. Information is ineffective if it arrives too late to be of use. Which is why communications in times of conflict are so important; both securing your own side's and disrupting or intercepting the opposing force's. When communication security is suspect or a message simply too important to trust to normal lines of communication, that's where I come in. My function is to get the message though by any means necessary.
Which usually turns into an episode of the human entertainment program 'Dastardly And Muttley In Their Flying Machines'. Ironic considering that my alternate mode is based on a human magnetic-levitation train, not a flying machine At least I've refused the attempts to convince me to let my alternate mode be re-engineered into a mechanical road-runner. Bodge-Job's engineering team may think they're funny, but they're not. I've watched Looney Tunes. For one thing, the character Roadrunner is actually closer to an ostrich in design than a true road-runner, the head and tail are the wrong shape.
And the Coyote is probably smarter than your average Battlefleet Decepticon for another. Understandable considering that most of the Transformers that actually believed in the Decepticon cause and what it was meant to stand for left with one renegade Commander or another during the Sundering, leaving Megatron with most of the bullies, sycophants, self-serving types and other dregs rounded out by a few decent types. The special team that I'm dealing with at the moment, however, definately fail to qualify on that last, but between them they have the others just about completely covered.
The Stunticons.
Or as I like to call them with backhanded affection, my own private Wile E. Coyote-cons, ACME not included. They try, they really do, I'll give them that, but just like Wile E., they always end up charred and smoking or battered and smashed. It doesn't help that they've only got one processing cycle between them and unfortunately for them it's the one that Menasor needs to use Scrambletech. They're made up of a braggart, a lunatic, a defeatist and a nervous-wreck, all led by a bully...
And on the other side of the yellow line on the road; me, Dart, Martian Decepticon courier.
I'd almost feel sorry for them if I didn't know they were all stupid enough to keep trying. Honestly, sooner or later a bot's got to ask themselves, 'am I ever going to catch that train?'
In their case, they couldn't catch a train even if they bought a ticket.
Speaking of which... and on today's episode, the Stunticons will try and stop the train, most likely failing and suffering damage in the process. Actually, episode isn't that bad an idea. I've got to get a better sensor suite; I could make a fortune turning these courier runs into a show.
"You again?" Dart asked, boosting his magnetic field output so that the yellow Formula One car that had just tried to sideswipe him passed right under.
"I'm gonna get you this time, Marsie, getcha good!" Drag Strip crowed.
"That's what you've said every time, Drag Strip," Dart retorted, "I'm still waiting."
"In just a second, you won't be waiting for anything ever again," Wildrider threatened, coming up from behind to flank Dart on the opposite side from his teammate.
"Clown to the left of me, joker to the right... Stealers Wheel would be proud of me," Dart taunted.
"Let's show this rail racer who rules the road!" Wildrider shouted
"Smash 'im, smash 'im, smash 'im!" Drag Strip chanted in agreement.
The two Stunticons moved to the outside edges of the road before swerving inward, trying to catch Dart in a classic 'squeeze play'. Unfortunately for them, they underestimated the Martian's control of his magnetic abilities; increasing the output of the field generators that allowed him to hover, Dart lifted higher into the air where he transformed to robot mode and landed with his feet on the two Stunticons as they came together underneath him.
"Hey! Get off!" Wildrider ordered.
"Watch the spoiler, Marsie," Drag Strip complained.
"You're the ugliest set of roller-skates I've ever seen..." Dart informed them, "And that's including those wingnut Battlechargers..."
Saying that, Dart activated his magnetic field generators in 'attract' mode, using them to secure himself to the Stunticons and started throwing his weight around.
"Hey, watch it!"
"Are you crazy?"
"One might," Dart jerked his weight again, making the two cars steer to the right, "Think that," and again to the right, "Couldn't they?"
"No, no, no, no, no, no, no," the Stunticons started firing off negatives quickly as they realised what they were now headed towards now that they were off the road, a large rock facing that formed the backside of a hill.
As they quickly approached the cliff face, Dart inverted the polarity of his mag-field to 'repel' to break free from the Stunticons and fired his foot-mounted thrusters to allow him to go upwards and land on top of the hill as the two cars, newly acquired scorch marks included, slammed into the rocks below.
Dart looked back over the edge of the cliff, down towards the dented and smoking forms of the two Stunticons, "That's gotta hurt!"
Then he spun and dropped as he transformed back into bullet train mode and headed down the sloped side of the hill.
With two Stunticons out of the immediate running, the remaining three only redoubled their efforts to intercept Dart, once more proving the human axiom about a fanatic being one who redoubles their effort whenever they lose sight of their goal.
"You know, I kind of get the feeling that there's some hostility here," Dart remarked as Motormaster blasted his horn from behind the courier.
"Run 'im off the road!" the Special Team leader demanded of his subordinates.
"Haven't you ever heard of 'please'?" Dart retorted as he adjusted his magnetic projectors so that the closer Motormaster and the Stunticons tried to get, the more they ended up pushing him away, "When you're trying to kill a mech, it doesn't hurt to be polite, you know!"
Speeding down the long highway through the desert, Dart's sensors scanning around him picked up a cliff that as he went past it flowed from cliff to ridge to sloping hillside, giving the Martian courier an idea. Using his mag-field to reduce the friction while at the same time keep him from spinning out, Dart flipped a switchblade turn and before the Stunticon trio could react had shot back through their ranks heading for the slope.
"What was that?"
"He's behind us!"
"Get him!"
The Stunticons tried to brake and turn to go after their target, skidding to leave black marks on the road - and in Motormaster's case, almost jackknifing his trailer over - before they regained control and went off-road, following Dart intently.
Which was exactly what he wanted them to be doing.
As Dart went up the slope, he picked up speed until he reached the cliff, then increased the output of his mag-lev systems, launching himself into the air. Without thinking of the consequences or the situation, the Stunticons rev'd their engines and followed him over the cliff, just like he wanted. Transforming to his robot mode, Dart blasted them with magnetic force causing them to lose momentum and drop to the ground.
"Who would have ever thought that watching monster trucks with Bodyblock would be so educational?" Dart commented as he transformed back into mag-lev train mode, catching himself with another magnetic field as he landed and spun around to head off back down the highway.
It was only a matter of moments before the two Stunticons that had been the first to suffer reached the rest of their group, but Dart was already out of sight.
"You look like junkyard-bait," Wildrider announced as he and Drag Strip came upon their brethern.
"Oh, shut up," Breakdown snapped.
"Enough playing around!" Motormaster snarled, "Stunticons, transform... stage two!"
All five Stunticons flew into the air before Motormaster gave the next order.
"Stunticons, merge to form..."
Parts shifted and moved, bodies becoming limbs and taking their places until finally one of the Decepticon gestalts hung in the air and spoke...
"Menasor!"
"Oh, look," Dart muttered, picking up the transformation on his sensors, "They've decided to try working together... I give it another eight minutes."
Menasor had caught up with Dart and landed in front of the Martian, making his intentions known.
"Menasor will smash little train..."
"Hey, do I look O scale to you?" Dart demanded, transforming again into robot mode and dodging out of the way of the gestalt's hand, "You want to play with trains, try a hobby store!"
Growling, Menasor drew back and smashed down with the other hand. Dart used his magnetic repulsors to dodge backwards, then lunged forwards, skimming up Menasor's arm until he was hovering just above Menasor's shoulder next to the gestalt's head. What happened next proved that for whatever else he might be, Menasor was definately not the smartest of the Decepticon gestalts when, trying to hit Dart, he struck himself in the head when the Martian Transformer used a combination of magnetic repulsion and flight systems to backflip over his head and end up hovering over the opposite shoulder.
"Eh, nice try," Dart taunted.
Correction, what happened next proved that Menasor barely had the processing power of one of his individual components, never mind all five combined, as he again swung towards the smaller Transformer and instead impacted with his own cranial unit when Dart jumped off and down to the ground.
"What a maroon," Dart chuckled as Menasor roared in pain and frustration, "What an ignoramus. What a crumbling rust-sore on the skidplate of the Transformer race..."
"What a..." Dart glanced back over his shoulder and started to smirk, "Hellooo..."
Dart lived by the concept that 'knowledge is power when it is where it can be used effectively'. Between that and being a courier, information was his stock and trade, information like the fact that, for some reason, combined gestalts rarely used projectile weapons, prefering hand-to-hand combat. Combining that information with the knowledge of the surrounding terrain that he had just gained, Dart now had a plan.
"Hey! Mena-bore! You can't hit me!"
Menasor growled and took an underhand swipe at the courier, missing when Dart dodged backwards away from the gestalt.
"Eh, were you trying to hit me or fan me there, big guy?"
This time, the Battlefleet gestalt raised both hands and brought them down in a hammerblow with Dart throwing himself backwards and rolling to avoid it.
"Too slow! I can see why Megatron doesn't keep you with the rest of his merry band of psychopaths."
Now Dart moved before Menasor could so that he was using his mag-lev abilities and flying circuits to hover just off the edge of a cliff, suspended in mid-air as he unleashed his ultimate taunt...
"Devastator's scarier than you - and he's lime green!"
Menasor roared and lunged at the Martian courier, intent on his deactivation. Before the larger Transformer could react, Dart used the same abilities that allowed him to leviatate as he did to flip up and over the gestalt and blast him with magnetic repulsion, sending him tumbling over the cliff and down to the canyon floor hundreds of feet below.
I shouldn't. I really shouldn't, but I'm going to anyway. I'm standing on the ledge that Menasor just went over and I can't resist. Using my mag-lev abilities, I jump into the air and hang there long enough to click my feet together twice before I make a sound.
"Meep-meep!"
Down on the canyon floor, Motormaster heard the beeping sound coming from above and shifted under the pile of Stunticons he was at the bottom of, groaning, "Ooo... I hate that train."