A/N: Some spoilers for The Paper Snowflake. Some spoilers for Earthbound. Nothing really major though, but I know I'm just too much of a wimp to not tell you if you want to do a blind reading/run-through of either. One day I'll be a man, Mama.

Sorry for getting this out so late. That's life for you.

Chapter 14: Rome

Autumn had finally come to the metropolis known as Smash City. Mainly what this meant was that the cold fronts from the Glacial Peak would stream across the streets and sidewalks, chilling the skin of its residents. The leaves in Smash Park would finally start falling down, covering the green grass with a golden orange hue. The pumpkin spiced flavors and the warm pies that followed suit would fill the shelves all around Smash Mart, just waiting for patrons to dig into the season.

It really felt magical to the viewer, watching in silence as not only the temperature changed, but the temperament of the citizens as well. Most folks, after the long workings of summer, were exhausted. Summer only came once a year, so the wise ones would tried to take advantage of the warm days and cool nights as much as they could. After their labors, the season would flip on like a switch, and the once frantic and joyous folks turned lackadaisical and sated. If was as if a giant hand had snapped their fingers and changed everything.

"It was crazy," reflected Dr. Mario as they strolled down the streets of Smash City. "I swear, ROB did a total turn around. Ever since he came back from that Summer Conference he's been doing awful in training, but it's like the day the tournament comes back he knows my every move even before I do!"

"That's robots for you," replied Bart, his breath visible in the air. "Stupid scans and whatever. They can almost tell everything about somebody."

It was a breezy weekday in October. Since The Falcon House wasn't open on Mondays, Falcon was just going to make a quick stop at the coffee house and meander his way back to catching up on training. After all, he had started to spend more time in The Falcon House than anywhere else as of lately. The Smasher found that more and more of his enjoyment came from helping people as Bart Lemming rather than bounty hunting as the boisterous strapping Captain Falcon. Then again, bounties had seemingly evaporate from the SCPD, so it was getting kind of hard to keep that up anyways…

"I'm probably going to have to train harder now, too." added Dr. Mario with a bit of wistfulness, buttoning his lab coat. "The others are catching up to me and I refuse to be beaten by Charizard. I may be towards bottom of the Tier list, but heck if that stupid dragon thing beats me."

"Hmm… " nodded Bart absentmindedly. "Yeah. I mean, I'm not that into the tournament as some of the others in the city, but I think you're going to be fine as long as you be you." They turned a corner, perking the entrepreneur's interests. "Here we are!" He exclaimed with such jovial energy that the good doctor jumped. "Aye, Pit!"

"Bart!" Pit, Captain of Palutena's Guard, waved his hand at the F-Zero racer. Dr. Mario raised an eyebrow when he realized that his fellow Smasher was standing behind a hot dog stand, a white hat on his head and an apron around his waist. His wings were resting idly behind his back. "Is it that time of day again?"

"Sure is!" Bart put his hands on his hips and posed proudly. "Three hot dogs: mustard, onion, chili, and cheese only!"

"Coming right up." Pit turned towards his acquaintance, who stood perplexed. "Oh. Hey, Doc!"

"Pit…?" Dr. Mario raised his eyebrow. He was usually good with keeping up with the children, so the fact he didn't now about that the young angel was working behind a hot dog stand was a bit surprising. "What are you doing here?"

"I need the cash." Pit stated bluntly. He was lathering four hot dogs in a brownish liquid that he assumed was chili. He handed three of them to Bart, put the fourth one on a separate plate, and checked his watch. "Can you take a step back really quickly, Doc?"

Confused, he obeyed. Pit stared at his watch for a good couple of seconds. "Three, two, one—" The angel threw the plate into the air at what seemed to be directly at the hungover patron. The physician was about to smack it out of the air out of natural instinct when a blue blur came passing by, causing him to instead cover his eyes and take a step back. When the wind had died down, the duo could see that the plate was gone, appropriate payment and tip on the stand.

"Sorry, you know Sonic." shrugged the hot dog vendor. "Always in a rush." Pit grabbed the money from the counter and started adding it up.

Bart, in the meantime, had been stuffing his face with the franks. Currently, he was trying to stuff all three in his mouth at once, creating a sloppy mess of condiments on his face. "Youff wanfff soomf Doc?" The F-Zero racer managed to choke out.

"It's really good! I made the chili myself!" said Pit excitedly. He handed him a chili dog. "First one's on the house!"

The doctor sniffed it suspiciously. Hesitantly, he took a timid bite, chewing slowly as if to process every single molecule of the hot dog. "This…" He said after a few seconds. "Is actually really good."

Pit beamed with pride. "Thanks Doc! That means a lot!"

After they had ordered a few more hot dogs, Bart and Dr. Mario found a green bench underneath a birch tree. It was a nice spot, near the intersection of 6th and Brawl and just where they could see Smash Park in the autumn. Both ate in silence for a moment, just taking the time to enjoy the scenery.

"So. Umm…" Dr. Mario started after he had finished his second portion. "How do we do this?"

"Dunno." Bart shrugged. Thinking, he added, "What's was with earlier? Mind explaining that to me real fast?"

Earlier that morning

"Dr. J's lined up at mid court line…" Captain Falcon mumbled to himself, standing at the back door of his establishment. He was holding a bulking bag of trash awkwardly underneath his armpit, eyeing the peeling green paint on the dumpster across from him. "There's three seconds on the clock. Julius needs to make the basketball if he ever hopes to beat the Celtics for the Championship. He takes a deep breath," Similarly, Bart took a deep breath, "and knows what to do."

With a running start, Bart pulled out the trash bag, made a fantastical leap in the air, and dunked the garbage into its new home. "ROCK THE BABY!" He yelled out heroically, landing on his feet. "And the crowd goes wild, screaming—"

"AH!" The seemingly innocuous trashcan screamed back.

"AH!" Startled, Bart leapt backwards, landing on his bottom. He felt his heart beating a thousand beats per minute, so quickly that he felt as if he was racing.

"The heck am I—" Grumbling, Dr. Mario crawled out of his improvised bed and stood up. The good doctor wasn't looking too well. His brown hair was ruffled and dank, presumably from the mysterious liquids and sticky anomalies that festered inside public dumpsters. His clothing was worse for wear, drink stains all over his lab coat and buttons missing from his fine dress shirt. His red tie, the Captain reflected, was missing.

"Where am I?" The doctor shook his head, dropping the flask in his hand and grabbing his forehead. His face was pressed with the worries of tomorrow, and his eyes stared dully into space. "Maybe I did have too much to drink last night."

"I'd say." said Bart, holding his chest in panic. "You about scared the living crap out of me!"

Now that he had a firm grasp on the ground, Dr. Mario took a good look at the Smasher in disguise. "Oh." He said blankly. "It's you."

"Bart. Bart Lemming." The waiter nodded, standing up. He allowed his posture to be straighter than usual, as if he was trying to intimidate the medical man with his sheer size. It was clear, however, that nothing could intimidate the hungover doctor.

"So that's what you're calling yourself these days." Dr. Mario snorted, picking up his flask and putting it back into his coat pocket. "'Bart Lemming.'"

"That's right." Captain Falcon nodded darkly. He paused for a moment, trying to suppress his memories. "Er, hey Doc, why are you in my trashcan?"

His companion looked towards the metal can and back towards him. Sarcastically, he scoffed, "I was becoming one with my people."

"No really, why are you here? And why—are you drunk again?"

Dr. Mario had known to be kind of a drunk in the past. Ever since some Christmas episode a couple of years back, the poor medicine man had taken to the bottle rather than actual society. For a while now, it seemed that he had gotten back into his old cheerful demeanor, but the image in front of Bart wasn't a positive reinforcement of the doctor's reformation. His face seemed sad almost, as if he had didn't care about how he looked, but the reason was currently beyond the F-Zero racers' abilities.

It looked like Dr. Mario was about to deny the accusations, but he sighed before he could utter anything. "Yeah, I am." He pulled out his flask and started pouring it on the ground. Gritting his teeth, he muttered, "Everyone gets one night, right?"

Bart nodded approvingly, but the physician's off-putting mannerisms felt wrong. "You okay, Doc?" asked Falcon, concern bending his brow.

Again, it looked like the Doctor was about to deny his claim, but with another sigh he shrugged. "No, Bart. No I'm not." Hesitantly, he added, "Mind if we talk about it? If you have the time, that is."

"Yeah, that's fine with me. You know I owe you more than I can repay." Falcon reminded him. A loud grumbling shook his stomach, immediately followed by Dr. Mario's own ferocious roar. "But first, let's wash our hands and grab a bite to eat. I'm starving!"

Present

"So what's bringing you down, Doc?" Bart continued, taking smaller bites of his hot dog. "Sports? Bad news? Relationship problems?" Aside, he muttered, "I get a lot of that these days."

The physician shrugged. "I guess, if you look at it." He sighed. "For starters, Mr. Game and Watch and Rosalina just made things official."

"Really?!" Bart raised his eyebrows. "Like, official official or just down low official?"

"The first one." The clone of Mario nodded. "They just went out on their third date last Friday. And you know what happens on the third date."

Bart coughed for a moment. "Umm…"

"It means they're in a committed relationship with each other and clearly enjoy being together." Dr. Mario finished through clenched teeth. He didn't notice Bart's sigh of relief. "I can't believe I waited so long."

The F-Zero hero gulped. Mr. Game and Watch had mentioned that he couldn't make it to work on Sunday because he "needed to go on a hot date." He just assumed it was another one of his playboy runs, not an actual commitment. Yesterday, he realized, would be his fourth date then. He decided it might be best to withhold that information from the Doctor.

"I should've just done it." sighed Dr. Mario. "I'm stupid, but I guess 'Live and Learn,' huh?" He paused for a moment, taking another bite of his hot dog. "Teach me to hesitate."

"But that's not all." said the Smasher in disguise. "You look crushed."

"Am I a book or something?" chuckled Dr. Mario, lightly elbowed his companion. His laughter passed quickly, and his face grew grave. Resting his head on his hands, he sighed, "No, that's… that's not all." He licked his lips, leaning back as a rush of cool air game him goosebumps. "I'm… I'm Ness's legal guardian."

"What?!" Falcon hadn't heard about this. He leaned towards the Doctor. "Like… his parents died?"

"No, nothing like that!" Dr. Mario shook his head rapidly. "His parents live on Earth II, you know, so… I don't know how much you know about his life, but his parents owe a lot of money to the Minch family. I mean, a lot. And ever since Porky or whatever his name is went missing after the whole Giygas thing the Minchs… you know…"

"Blame Ness?" guessed the bounty hunter.

"Yeah. They've been heckling them nonstop for payments. They nearly didn't have enough money to send him back for this Smash Era. I actually paid half of the trip money, and well… none of them can make it here." Dr. Mario snorted. "The standard of living is too high for them, poor folks. Ness is staring school again here soon and they thought it'd be easier if they had someone they trusted here to take care of him, to sign all of his legal forms and stuff."

"And they chose you." finished Bart.

"The one and only." The doctor shifted uncomfortably in his seat, adjusting himself until he was semi-comfortable. "Well, I'm not the one and only. There's Mario, I guess…" With a sigh, he rubbed his eyes. "I guess I was just the best fit for the poor kid, huh?"

Captain Falcon had a part in that story. When the Melee Era had started, Ness had started to get really get homesick. Long phone calls weren't working anymore, and soon it was almost as if the PSI Powerhouse couldn't function, a broken machine in a system meant to prevent that. Mario, with his somewhat inexhaustible well of wisdom, had asked Dr. Mario if the good doctor could room with the Eaglelander, just so he had company. Although somewhat reserved, the doctor obeyed with the duteous disposition he was known for. That decision was one that he never regretted.

"Well congratulations, Doc!" Bart patted him on the back. "You're a father! Sort of."

"And therein the third problem." Dr. Mario let out another sigh. "I just lost my job at the hospital. Well, I didn't lose it. I… I quit."

"You quit?!" The Smasher in disguise's eyes were huge like discs. "I thought you loved that job!"

"I don't, actually." Dr. Mario shook his head. "I got put on cosmetics. You know, plastic surgery. They didn't trust me to resume my research into Mega-Vitamins after I took to alcohol. Rather I be put on something less harmful, just in case I have a relapse." Distastefully, he pulled out his flask and tossed it into the trashcan nearby. "Well, I'm not proving them wrong." He duly noted. "But that's not real, you know? I'm supposed to help people. That's why I'm a doctor. I want to save lives, not help someone get a bigger butt or something stupid like that. I pledged my life to saving lives, but I couldn't even take care of my own. Now look." He turned at his companion with a look of desperation. "How the heck am I supposed to take care of Ness and do something that I love without risking both of our futures? I mean, I want to be a doctor and save people, but I don't want to be a plastic surgeon. But if I don't, then how am I supposed to take care of Ness?"

Bart stared at him blankly, processing everything he had just said. "Doc," He stated bluntly. "I have no idea."

Dr. Mario snorted. "Thanks. I could always count on you."

Falcon sat silently for a moment, letting his thoughts seep in. Relaxed, he rubbed his chin. "You know Doc, I've learned recently that not everything's so black and white. I thought it was, but… I was wrong." He leaned back on the bench, tossing the remaining bits of hot dog in his mouth and swallowing. "I've learned a lot these past couple of months, especially about people. You know, I thought I knew it all. I thought the world black and white too. I knew who to trust and who to hate, and it was a simple as that. But… what happens when one of those right things becomes wrong, you know? What happens when the things you trusted would remain the same pop back up again?"

"What are you talking about?" said Dr. Mario, raising his eyebrows.

"Nothing, Doc." sighed Bart, half-heartedly smiling at his acquaintance. "I just want you to know that even I don't have the answers to my own questions. Sometimes it's not so clear as night and day. That's why dusk and dawn exist: to remind us there's a blur between the two. Doc, I wish I knew how to solve both of our problems, but all I can tell you is this: you did the right thing by becoming Ness's guardian, but sometimes you have to sacrifice the things you love to make sure the people that you love can do the things that they love— if you followed that. Sometimes you have to live with the burden of knowledge, of certain facts that shouldn't be revealed so others can be happy." He rubbed his face stoically

"You're thinking of James again, aren't you." said Dr. Mario, patting him on the back.

"Every day." Bart told him. He shook his head and cleared his throat. "Dr. Mario, I'm not sure what it is about me talking to people on benches, but it always seems that something unnecessarily serious happens on them. I don't want to end our conversation on this note. How about we head over to the Mini-Golf course and play some ball, huh? It'll be on me. Tomorrow is another day, so for now let's rest up and figure out our crazy lives when we can, okay?"

Dr. Mario sat up, adjusting his jacket. "Okay. But first, let me head back to the manor and get on some fresh clothes."

Bart smiled. "Great. You stink to high heavens."

As the doctor walked away, Captain Falcon leaned back against the bench, his arms resting on top of the back support. Someday he'd figure out all of this: his messy life, his relationship, his identity.

But Rome wasn't built in a day.

A/N: Yes it was short, yes it probably wasn't worth the wait, (but unfortunately this chapter was necessary) but hey, I didn't want it to be as long as the previous chapters. Gets hard to constantly update like that, you know?

And those wondering about Pichu's money… Dr. Mario spent it all to repay his student loans. End of story.

That being said, Hallobowleen is nearly on us, so that update is set to come out soon. Probably should start on that. Like, right now. So until next time, work hard, keep your head up, and smile! Have a fantastic day!

Guest Review Response Corner:

Guest #3 (October 16th): Never.

Guest #2: (September 19th): Falmus will never die. Also, I have evil plans for Lucina ;)

That being said, thanks for your words on Mr. Game and Watch. He's one of my favorite characters in Smash ever since I was young, and I feel like he's more than just a two-dimensional character- literally and figuratively. The whole COSB trilogy was based on building up Robin and Mr. Game and Watch, who I felt were weak compared to Bart. This story is in the end about Captain Falcon, but it doesn't mean that each character is just here for the ride.

Also, about the black and white thing… keep that in mind as you progress forward. That was something I didn't except anyone to catch.

Magie: Becoming pun-ny isn't a pun-derful process. In order to pun-derstand puns, you got to work on your pun-damentals. You'd think it a pun-ishment (to which, a pun-itentiary is most appropriate) to pun-raise for your brain, but as long as it pun-ctions, it's fine in my book.

Also, I wanna play Mr. Game and Watch too.

Guest #1 (September 3rd): You're the reason that I went in reverse order this time.

Before I delve into that, the Bee Movie started out as a joke. Some of my acquaintances are obsessed with it, so how could I not resist? The Robin and Dark Pit stand off was something I've been waiting for a long time. I left the final conclusion between them open for interpretation, so you may see him again, you may not. All I know for certain is that I'm a load of Undertale trash :P

Okay, now about the root beer.

I decided to leave this as vague as possible, so here's what I can tell you: the chapter is a lot like a cake. You licked the icing when you uncovered that detail, but you don't know the flavor of the cake. Perhaps take a second look at it, except taste the real ingredients, not the artificial stuff that you thought was the main part (I mean, it still is, it's just for the answer to your inquiry). You might just discover something that you missed.

That being said, thank you all for your reviews. As I said, it means the world to me. I wish you love!

-Circuit's De—

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Star: N/A

Key: 2-1-18-20

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