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A bunch of authors are getting together to raise money for the "Alex's Lemonade Stand Foundation." The charity helps children who are suffering from cancer. I have decided to offer "Seth." If you want to become Seth's imprint in my stories, you can now bid on him. I'll also write a one-shot of the two of you. For details on where to bid, please see my profile page.

2) Forum

I had someone ask me to start a forum a couple of months ago. I didn't really know what to do with it at the time, so I passed on the idea. I started one this week because I wanted a place to put all my tidbits and story extras. Please check it out. If you go to my profile page, you'll see something that says, "My Forums" near the top of the page. Click on that and you'll be redirected. I also have a poll up right now. Tell me who's your favorite of my original characters (ex: Gracie, Ryan), and I'll give you some background information on whichever character wins.

3) Award

Early Imprint (Quil's Story) was nominated for a "Silent Tear" award for the "Best Imprint" story. Thanks to whoever nominated it! You can go to the following link to vote (also available on my profile page). Thank you in advance to everyone who takes a moment vote.

http://silent-tear-awards(dot)webs(dot)com/vote(dot)htm

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Chapter 14 – Both Sides Now

Embry's POV

The plane ride to Hawaii passed by without me even noticing. When we finally landed, I pulled myself from the heavy thoughts permeating my mind so that I could force myself to concentrate on leaving the plane. I wanted to leap over the people congesting the aisle way, but I forced myself to be patient as I waited for my turn to exit the aircraft. As soon as I was able to step outside, the heat hit me swift and fierce. Living in Hawaii would never be an option for me. It was too hot for me to enjoy. I felt as though my skin was sweltering.

I made my way to the rent-a-car place and got directions to Waikiki. It didn't take long for me to reach my destination. The pale sands and ocean views flew by me with barely a glance. Once I reached the actual city, I followed the pull to my imprint though it was very weak…I hardly felt it. The weather seemed to match my mood. The closer I got to Rebecca, the wetter the weather got until it finally started to rain.

I reached a residential street and parked my car. In the distance, I saw Ian head to a car with a surfboard attached to the roof. He hopped in the vehicle and took off in the opposite direction from where I was. I rested my head against the steering wheel for a moment as I tried to control my raging emotions. I felt slightly crazed at the moment and I was beginning to scare myself.

One part of me wanted to follow Ian and rip his head off. My hands actually trembled and the wolf inside me purred with contentment at the idea. I didn't even know it was possible for a wolf to purr. The other part of me wanted to bust down Rebecca's front door, throw Rebecca over my shoulder, and run back to the airport. I wanted nothing more than for us to disappear where no one would ever find us again. I wasn't above kidnapping her at this point. I was almost eager to.

But the most logical part of me knew that I wouldn't do any of those things. I was here for one purpose and one purpose only. I needed to talk to Rebecca. From that conversation, I would figure out what I was going to do next. Maybe I'd return to La Push. Then again, if I could convince Rebecca to run away with me, we'd need to disappear until she could get her divorce. Maybe we'd head out East together. She'd be close to Jake that way.

I got out of the car and walked over to the house running my hands nervously down my pants. I knocked a couple of times on the front door before I heard movement inside the house. The door slowly opened and there was my Rebecca.

"Embry…" Rebecca said in a shocked tone. She looked over my shoulder, obviously looking for Ian. "What are you doing here?"

"We need to talk," I stated.

"About?"

"The baby for one thing."

"What about my baby?" Rebecca asked, her hand automatically covering her stomach area. The baby wasn't visible yet, but Rebecca was already in protective mother mode.

"I thought Ian didn't want kids." I said absently, not taking my eyes off her hand.

"How did you know about that?" Rebecca asked with what sounded like betrayal in her voice.

"I overheard you that day on the beach."

I could sense Rebecca's anger as she realized I had eavesdropped on a very personal conversation.

"We had a long talk after I got back and w-we decided to work on our problems. We started marriage counseling. The baby was a surprise, but one we both welcome."

I let the baby comment slide for now.

"Why bother saving this marriage when you know in your heart you should be with me?" I asked bluntly, raising my eyes from her hand to her face.

Rebecca lowered her eyes to the ground.

"Embry, I'm so sorry if I've mislead you…"

I grabbed her chin and forced her to look at me.

"Becks, I know how you're feeling right now. Guilt's a bitch, but it shouldn't be the reason you to stay with Ian."

"You know nothing about my marriage and you have no clue how I feel right now," Rebecca said furiously, yanking her chin out of my light grasp.

"I know you wouldn't have reacted to me the way you did if you loved Ian. No one can fake an orgasm like that."

I was acting abominably towards her. I couldn't help it. Sheer panic was causing me to want to lash out. Either that or re-consider my plan to kidnap her. She took a step back and put her hand on the door handle. For a moment I thought she was going to slam the door in my face. Either that or deck me, which would only cause her to injure herself. I didn't know if she would ever forgive me for what I just said. Taking a deep breath, I chose a different tactic before she could do anything.

"I'm sorry…that was way out of line," I told her remorsefully.

"Look," Rebecca replied. "I'm sorry you wasted your money on a plane ticket out here, but I've got nothing more to say to you."

She began to shut the door on me. I grabbed the edge before it could shut and gently pushed it back.

"You and I are going to talk," I told her again. "And I'm not leaving here until we do."

Rebecca's eyes flew nervously over my shoulder again. Her mouth firmed.

"Fine…but not here," Rebecca replied, coming out of the house and shutting the door behind her. "The beach isn't far away."

I knew she was angry with me, livid in fact. But I couldn't take my eyes off her. I wanted to desperately pull her to me and never let go.

"You look beautiful," I said as we walked and I meant it.

Pregnancy, even in the early stages, made her skin glow. She didn't say anything in response. She kept her eyes on the ground as we made our way to the beach.

There were a lot of different emotions running over her features. They were easy for me to pick up. I saw things I never wanted to see on Rebecca's face. There was shame and there was guilt. Suddenly, I thought of Jacob's warning to me years ago when we got into a fight over Rebecca.

"I know my sister. She'll never forgive herself if she cheats on Ian. And she'll end up hating you if you're not careful."

And something else he said was nagging me.

"If she feels anything for you, she won't understand why because of Ian. All you're going to achieve is making her feel guilty. She's vulnerable right now and you're taking advantage of it."

Is that what I had done…taken advantage of Rebecca when she was vulnerable? Had I turned her against me completely? She was the single most important person in my world. I didn't think I'd be able to live with myself if I had somehow taken advantage of her emotional state.

"Becks…" I reached out to touch her arm gently once we reached the sand. She shrugged my arm off and took a few steps away from me.

"Is my touch so repulsive?" I asked, angry again.

"More inappropriate than anything," Rebecca responded.

"I wish I would have picked up on the fact you find my touch so disgusting in the letter you left me. Maybe I wouldn't have bothered to come here."

Rebecca's cheeks turned red.

"I'm sorry…you deserved better than that letter. But I thought it would be easier if I wasn't there when you got up."

"Easier on you, you mean," I retorted.

"Fine," Rebecca said angrily. "I didn't want this conversation. It's pointless. I know you were hoping for us to have some kind of relationship, but we're just not meant to be together. You belong with all those women you like to sleep with, and I belong with Ian."

"Becks…you have it all wrong still. We are meant to be together. I'm sorry if I ever gave you a reason to doubt that, because I don't want any other woman. I've only ever wanted you. What else can I do to prove that to you?"

Rebecca shook her head and walked a few steps further away from me so that she could stare out at the ocean. I stared at her profile before finally asking her the main reason I was here.

"How do you know the baby's not mine?"

"It's not," Rebecca replied.

Frustrated, I went over to her and stood in front of her.

"It has to be mine…I mean it's not like you slept with Ian right after you left me."

Rebecca looked guiltily to the ground.

"You slept with him?" I whispered.

"That's none of your business Embry."

"The hell it isn't!" I shouted.

"He's my husband. I'm supposed to sleep with him…no one else."

"That doesn't discount the fact that this baby could be mine," I said, pushing away the anger and betrayal I felt.

"The baby isn't yours," Rebecca insisted again.

Frustrated and feeling more terrified than I had ever felt in my life, I grabbed Rebecca by the shoulders.

"Tell me this baby is mine," I pleaded.

"I can't," she whispered with tears in her eyes.

"There's no way you could know that for sure." I practically pleaded with her to tell me otherwise.

Meeting my eyes, Rebecca said simply, "I had my period after I got back from La Push. I slept with Ian after that and I haven't had my period since. Embry…I'm sorry, but this baby isn't yours."

I let go of her then and took a step back. Because I finally believed her. I saw it in the absolute sincerity in her eyes. As much as I wanted to believe otherwise, this baby wasn't mine. I would know if she was lying to me, just like she always knew when I wasn't telling her the full truth. My already tattered heart shred into a thousand pieces. And yet, I still couldn't let go. I couldn't let her go.

"Rebecca, I love you…I don't care if the baby is mine or Ian's. You don't love him. You love me…I know you do. Come away with me. I need you Becks…I know you don't believe me when I say this but trust me, we are meant to be together."

Rebecca immediately shook her head stubbornly, dismissing what I was telling her. I still couldn't give up.

"Please…" I begged. "Please leave Ian. I'll take care of you and the baby."

"You'd really take care of another man's child," Rebecca whispered achingly.

"I would love any baby that was a part of you," I replied simply. "Please Rebecca…please come away with me."

My body shook in pain even before she gave me the answer I already knew to expect.

"I can't…I won't. Embry, he's the father of my child. I can't do that to him or my baby."

"You love me! How can you do that to me?" I questioned her, the volume of my voice increasing as I became more distraught.

Rebecca looked me straight in the eye and said, "I never said I loved you."

"Well, you sure as hell don't love him," I yelled back immediately.

I watched Rebecca's eyes narrow at my insistence. "Yes, I do Embry. I've loved him since the first moment I laid eyes on him. I'll always love him."

"Then what the fuck was I?" I shouted. How could she deny everything we meant to each other?

"We were a horrible mistake, plain and simple. What we did was wrong. I committed adultery and I'm going to have to live with that," Rebecca said in a raspy tone. It sounded like she was going to cry, and even after everything she said, I still ached to hold her in my arms.

Rebecca continued, "I'm so sorry for bringing you into my marital problems. I should have kept my distance from you. And now I have to live with what I did, not only to my husband, but what I did to you too. I-I'm so sorry if I've hurt you, but what happened between us shouldn't have happened."

"You don't mean that…" I said desperately. The sheer pain I was in was crippling me and it only seemed to be getting worse.

"I do mean it…" Rebecca said coldly. "You and I were only ever meant to be friends. Nothing more. What we did was wrong. We should never have done it and I have regretted all of it ever since…from our first kiss to our last encounter."

How could she be saying this to me? Didn't she feel it…couldn't she see that she was my soul mate...the whole reason I even existed?

"So where does that leave us?" I whispered painfully over the lump in my throat.

"We'll be friends," Rebecca answered, looking away from me and out to the ocean again. "Like we used to be when we were kids."

"Friends…" I laughed bitterly. "That's impossible."

Rebecca looked back at me. "If you can't handle that…then we're nothing. In fact…I think that would be best."

She turned to face the water again. All I could do is was observe her delicate profile.

"I don't want you to contact me anymore." Rebecca finally said. Her tone was so cold. It was nothing I had ever heard from Rebecca. She added, "Contrary to what you seem to have deluded yourself into believing, we aren't meant to be together. This baby proves it."

She turned her head and met my eyes. I was filled with instant dread.

"I want you to listen to me very carefully Embry, because I want you to fully understand. I want you to stay away from me. I don't want you to call me and I don't want you coming here to see me like this again. We're nothing to each other. Ian and my baby…that's what's important to me…they're all I need. I don't want you in my life."

I looked into her eyes and saw what I couldn't deny. She meant it. She wanted me out of her life. I had to do what my imprint wanted.

I nodded slowly, turned, and walked back the way I came. My legs felt wobbly underneath me, like a baby learning to walk for the first time. The pain was erupting inside me like a volcano, but I forced myself to put one foot in front of the other.

And then suddenly the pain ebbed away and was replaced with a coldness I had never felt before. I picked up my pace and felt a new strange lightness. I felt not pain but an eerie emptiness. I couldn't feel anything…I didn't even feel the sand under my feet. I realized what was happening to me.

We are whatever our imprints need us to be. All these years, I had felt attached to Rebecca because even on some subconscious level, she had needed me. That's why I always suffered so much when we weren't together.

But the imprint magic in my blood was granting Rebecca her wish. I could feel it. She didn't need me anymore. I was nothing to her…and she was now nothing to me. She had severed our bond. I was free.

I didn't look back as I continued on my path to my future. A future without Rebecca. The lightness ebbed away and what was left of me was nothing but a shell of what I once was.

I was what my imprint needed me to be…I was nothing.

A/N - The title of this chapter is from Joni Mitchell's song, "Both Sides Now." Check out the lyrics…it's very fitting for this chapter. To answer a question I'm sure I'll get:

No, Embry won't be miserable forever. Things are about to get very interesting for our hero. But this had to happen to him first.

Also, before you hate Rebecca too much, I'm going to throw something in my forum in the next couple of days called "Understanding Rebecca." Keep an eye out for it.

I don't usually post on Saturdays because for some reason feedback is always low. I'm really curious about your reaction on this one though so…please review!