Sorry for no update yesterday, first day of a bad cold all I wanted to do was curl up and die!
This first part of this a bit of a filler... but Naomily is certainly on the rise!
Thanks for reading, and as ever, reviewing! Really love it!
Oh, not proof read, I've had a bit to drink and really can't be arsed! So apologies for any mistakes!
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Chapter Fourteen
It's half term, the entire school is buzzing at the prospect of going home. Me, well, I'm not.
A month ago and I'd have bitten your hand off had you offered me the chance to go home. Funny how things change, huh?
"So where you live?" She asks as I'm packing my bag for a week, it's only just occurred to me that I don't even know where she lives apart from here, obviously.
"Bristol" I say,
"Really?"
"No, I lied" She chuckles, "Why?"
"I live in Bath..."
"Oh, so not very far away" I say,
"Nope, you can always visit me if you want" She says a little nervously,
"What?" I laugh, "Haven't you spent enough time with me over the past few weeks?" she goes quiet, I clear my throat, "I mean, yeah that'll be great" I laugh.
Everybody waits in the main hall until they're folks or whoever is picking them up shows. My mums late, as per usual, but then so is Red's. "Looks like we're staying here over half term" I joke, but she simply chuckles nervously. "Oh great" I sigh as I see me over zealous mother walk in, waving like a retard on a day out. I bow my head, "Mother's here"
"Naomi, Naomi, my darling" She comes up to me, hugging me so tightly, so much so that I want to push her to the floor. But I don't,
"Hi mum" I say,
"God, you look well" She ruffles my hair, "You look really well!" She says, a big smile on her face, "I knew this place was a good idea"
"Go you" I joke,
"Come on, let's get your bags in the car and we'll get going" She grabs my bag, but I stop her,
"You mind waiting..." She frowns, "Just Emily's family haven't come yet..."
"Sure thing" She smiles widely,
"You don't have to, really?" Red starts, she looks embarrassed, "they'll be here soon"
"Nonsense" My mum waves her hand, "I don't mind waiting" She smiles widely, "I'm Gina"
"Emily" Red says, sticking true to her name as she blushes.
"Nice to meet you, have you been making friends Naomi?" I roll my eyes, and now Emily is laughing,
"I'm her roommate" Emily says, "And friend"
"Good to hear it, Naomi could do with new friends, her old ones being-"
"Mother!" I warn, and she holds her hand up,
"Sorry, sorry"
"Emily Fitch?" Anal shouts, and Red holds her hand up, Anal comes walking over, "Naomi, Gina, good to see you again" She smiles, nodding, "There is a slight problem, Emily"
"What?" She panics,
"Nothing to worry about, it's just your parent's can't make it up here to pick you up, they've forwarded their bank details for you to get a train down"
"Great" She sighs, "Ok, thanks"
"Where do you live, sweet?" My mum asks,
"Bath"
"Oh, come on, we'll take you down"
"No, it's ok, I'll get the train, but thanks anyway"
"It's really no bother"
"Come on, Red..." I say, nodding toward the door,
"You sure?" I nod, "Is that ok?" She asks Anal, who smiles widely before nodding,
"That is fine, very kind of you Naomi" She smiles again, "I'll ring your parents back and let them know"
"Thanks"
"I hope you girls have peed, cause there isn't much chance once we get on the road"
"Yes, yes" I say, shaking my head and pulling a face at Red, who giggles.
*******
We've been driving for about an hour, my mother in a world of her own, quietly smiling to herself as Red and I sit chatting in the back seat. "I need a fag" I say, and she giggles,
"Have one then"
"She'll go nuts"
"I'm sure she won't mind"
"Mum" I ask, and she looks to us, "Can I smoke" She sighs,
"If you must, but make sure the window is open fully"
"What?" I'm flabbergasted,
"Do it quick before I change my mind" She sighs, shaking her head. I smile, lighting up. "So, Emily" Red looks towards her, "How are you finding my daughter?"
"Great" She smiles widely, "I mean we get along well..."
"Really?" She seems shocked, "Just she wasn't exactly the friendly type when I dropped her off"
"Oh, she's not friendly" She giggles, and my mouth falls open, "What, you're not" She shrugs, "But once you get used to her mood swings and sarcastic comments, she's not as bad as she seems, really" that's how the conversation went pretty much.
Both of them taking the piss out of me, comparing stories about my stubbornness, I was beginning to regret bringing Red with me, but as my mum filled up with petrol, just about half an hour shy of our house I had an idea. "Can I ask you something?" I say as she's flicking through a book,
"Hmm" She looks up at me,
"Will you come back to mine?"
"Why?" She frowns,
"I want you to do something with me?" I ask quietly,
"Sure" She smiles,
"But I haven't told you what it is yet"
"I have an idea"
"It's not sex" I frown at her, and she laughs,
"I know"
"So how can you know what I'm talking about?"
"I just do"
"How?" I frown deeper,
"I can't explain it... you just have... I don't know, different tones"
"Tones of what?"
"Voice..."
"Right" I sigh,
"You're talking about Jen, aren't you?"
"Yeah"
"I thought so"
"How'd you know" Now she sighs,
"I don't know, I just do..."
"Ok then"
"So..." Mum breathes as she gets into the car, "I know my way back to Bristol from here, but not bath"
"Emily's coming back with us for a bit, if that's ok?"
"That's fine love" She smiles,
"I'll get my mum to pick me up from yours, save you the bother Gina"
"No worries darl, I don't mind" Red smiles widely, I think she likes my mum.
*******
"I'll cook some tea, I bet you're dying for some home cooked food" Mum smiles widely,
"Thanks" Red grins,
"Come on" I nod, tugging on her sleeve, she frowns but follows. I take up the stairs of my house and into my room, "Welcome to my sanctuary" I grin, I've missed this place.
My double bed sits on the longest wall of the room, with double wardrobes either side. Every inch of my walls are covered in either posters of drawings that me and Cook have done. I have a desk that sits in the corner of the room, with nothing but empty bottles of alcohol and tab ends of spliffs sitting in an ashtray. It's a typical teenagers room, clothes thrown on the floor, it's just a mess, but it's home. "Wow" Red giggles, "This is so... you"
"I know" She looks at the posters on the wall, ranging from Madonna to Cristina Scabbia, there are even a few arty pictures hung up. She walks over to my desk, amazingly finding a picture hidden beneath all the rubble. Two blondes, one with green eyes, the other with blue. The blued eyed girl is carrying the green eyed on her back. In laymen's terms; Jen and myself.
"She's beautiful" She says sadly.
"Yeah"
"You're so different" She says, again quietly, almost as if she's tiptoeing around the subject, which I suppose she is,
"A lot has changed since that picture"
"Yeah"
"I'm sorry for keeping you away from your family, I bet they're dying to see you"
"Probably not..."
"What do you mean?"
"They've probably not even noticed I've gone"
"They have"
"Nah, they've got Katie... she's more than enough for them"
"Don't be silly, Red" She shrugs,
"They didn't even bother to come pick me up, Naomi"
"They must have reasons"
"If mum was busy, dad could have, and vice versa... they aren't together anymore and when mum's free, dad isn't... once of them is always free"
"You don't know what's happened" I rub her shoulder, "Don't worry so much"
"I guess" She shrugs again, "Anyway so what's your plan?"
"I want to do something I haven't done before"
"What's that?" She looks at me,
"Visit her"
"You've never?" I shake my head, "Why?"
"Couldn't bring myself to"
"And now?"
"I've got you..." I say simply, and she smiles.
"Come on then, no time like the present"
"Now?" She nods, "But tea"
"I'm sure your mum can wait an hour before she starts, go ask"
"Now? Can't we wait a little while?"
"You can put it off as much as you want, but we're still going" I roll my eyes,
"I'll go tell her"
********
It's as if the weather knew that I'd be visiting this place, it's like it thought that giving me rain, giving me a darkened sky would do me a favour, well it's not.
I understand that a cemetery isn't exactly the most joyous of places, but surely handing me thunderstorms and lightening on my first visit isn't exactly the best thing to do.
Then again, I suppose complaining about it isn't going to change a thing.
Red and I are only a few minutes away from the inevitable, our hoods up, our moods darkened, much like the sky. I try to ignore the nerves, I try to ignore the fear, but as sure as anything, they are there, and they are a constant reminder of the coward in me.
We finally reach the gates, and I stutter, I stall. But as her hand fits into mine, giving an encouraging squeeze, I know that I've got to do this.
It's almost like a magnet, although I've never been, I'm drawn to where she lies.
Nothing is said between Emily and myself, but then, nothing needs to be said. I just need her here... I can't explain why, I just do.
We stop in front of her grave, my heart sinking. I grasp hold of the flowers that I hold in my hand, leaning down I place them on her grave. 'Jennifer Williams, A beloved Daughter and friend, gone but never forgotten'. That's the message written, and as I read I feel a lump form in my throat. Emily grips my hand tighter.
I regret a lot of things, but the things I regret the most is not being at her funeral, and not visiting her grave. I was selfish, I was beyond help at that point, the only thing that helped was to drown my sorrows, but being here, being in the surreal place, it relaxes me a little. "Hey you" I say quietly, "Miss me?" I laugh. I feel stupid, talking to a piece of concrete. Then again, I don't feel stupid, because for some strange reason, I know that she's listening.
I understand how silly that sounds, but I feel her. Emily grips my hand again, before letting go, I look to her, and she nods away, meaning she'll leave me alone. I smile briefly, a tear shining in my eye. She walks away, "I'm sorry I haven't come before now, I've been a mess, Jen" I say, kneeling down, "I thought it was because of you, of what you did, but I realise now it's not. You were my best friend, and I miss you every single day. I blamed myself for the longest time, but I guess it was just your time" A tear falls down my cheek, "I just wanted to tell you that I forgive you... you'll be in my heart forever" I stand up, stepping backwards slightly, "I won't leave it as long next time"
I look for Emily, and she's slowly making her way back. She smiles sadly at me, she walks up the side of Jen's grave and places two rocks on top, I frown, "What's that for?" She steps back towards me and grabs my hand,
"Lets them know people have come to visit" She smiles again. I feel my bottom lip quiver, but before I can even stop it, her arm circles around me, hugging me tightly.
We're in this embrace for a little while, "You ready?" She asks quietly in my ear, and I nod, pulling away.
"Think so" I take one last look at her grave, and I start to walk away.
We're quiet as we're walking back to my house. The weather is dissipating, and as we make it to my door, the night is setting in. We walk in, noting the house in darkness. I look in the living room and my mother's nodded off in her chair. I smile to myself.
After a quick check to see that she isn't actually cooking anything, we both go up to my room.
I sit down on my bed. My body aching, my heart hurting. I feel like crying again. I feel a little closure, but then, I suppose it's something I'll never forget.
Emily sits down beside me. "Come here" She says, holding her arm out. I lean into the crook of her neck, holding onto her tightly,
"Thanks" I say through sniffing, trying to stop the tears,
"Anytime" she rubs my back softly. I indulge, before pulling away, my teary eyes looking into hers.
I can't stop glancing at her lips, I can't stop wanting to kiss her. I can't stop all these thoughts running through my mind right now, and I certainly can't stop the next words that come out of my mouth,
"Kiss me"
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