A/N: guys. I must have got about 60 reviews for the last chapter. Thank you SO much for your support! I'm so glad that you all enjoyed it. It was a difficult one to write and a sensitive topic to handle so it is really reassuring to know that I'm doing alright with it. Thanks again! It definitely helped me to write this next chapter much more quickly than I otherwise would have xxx
…
Mary's eyes fluttered open. There was a heavy presence on top of her, acting as an obstacle to her movements. She always tossed and turned a bit in her sleep, but couldn't seem to now. As her eyes opened, the immediate sight of thick blonde hair reminded her where she was.
Matthew had fallen asleep shortly after they'd made love, still inside her, with his head resting upon her shoulder. The knowledge that his mind was peaceful enough for him to sleep – at least for now – helped Mary drift off into slumber herself. She didn't know how long they'd been like that; it was bright and very sunny outside now, but she didn't feel well-rested, so it was difficult to know. What she did know, however, was that she was uncomfortable and extremely warm. The car, which was stuffy at the best of times, had steamed up from the heat of their exertions and the glowing sunshine beaming in through the windows was making it difficult to breathe.
Removing her arm from around Matthew's neck, she reached behind her and skilfully opened the door, leaving it slightly ajar to allow some cool air to filter in. It did provide some relief from the suffocating environment, but she soon realised that the larger source of the problem was the grown man who was lying on top of her. She tried to readjust herself underneath him as smoothly and discreetly as possible. Unfortunately her characteristic elegance betrayed her, and she ended up sharply kicking Matthew's calf.
With a grunt, Matthew's head lifted up and his eyes opened. The sunlight pouring into the car hit his irises and gave Mary a spectacular close-up of the brilliant blue peeking through the slits of his sleepy eyes.
"Mmm," Matthew sighed contentedly upon realising where he was and who he was with, his head re-burying itself in the crook of her neck.
Mary smiled warmly. "Are you alright?" She asked kindly, running her fingers through the hair near his temple. She wasn't sure what sort of mood he'd be in.
"I'm as well as I can be." Matthew replied, looking up and into her eyes. "Thank you, Mary."
"There is absolutely nothing to thank me for." Mary told him firmly. "I wish I could do more."
Matthew shook his head. "You're here, you exist. That's enough for me to feel better about it all." He kissed her cheek before leaning up to look at her again. His mouth parted to speak, but Mary quickly silenced them with a finger on his lips.
"Before you say anything, there is nothing to apologise for either." She pre-empted him, recognising the hint of regret in his eyes.
The corner of his mouth turned up with affection. "Oh, I must be crushing you!" He said suddenly, and promptly sat up to allow Mary to move.
"You were indeed." Mary teased.
"You should've just pushed me away." Matthew said, his brow knitting in concern at her lengthy period of discomfort.
"I tried to but you're quite heavy, you know." Mary retorted. "Have you been comfort-eating lately or something?" She joked, patting his flat stomach as if it were a rounded belly.
"Oi," Matthew smirked, gently pushing away the hand that was playfully pinching his cheek. Mary was beyond relieved to see him looking more like himself again. She suspected that it wouldn't last long – he would at some point be hit with the reality of what had happened the previous night. "So what are you doing today?" He asked, playing with her fingers.
"Erm, I'm actually quite busy today…" Mary said regretfully.
"It's fine, Mary. I'm not expecting you to drop everything for me." Matthew assured her. "Besides, I should go to see my Mum. I don't want to keep this from her – I've always told her everything. I sort of need her advice, too, about what to do."
Mary nodded. "Alright, well, I'm free tomorrow?" She offered. "We can spend the day together if you like. I'll just tell everyone that I'm out shopping."
"You're not worried about anyone seeing us? I don't particularly want to be spotted." Matthew almost cringed at the thought of how awful that would be – to be seen out with another woman a mere day after breaking his wife's heart, and for Mary to be seen with another man while still married.
Mary pondered places for them to escape to. "We'll go for a drive, to a village in Hertfordshire or somewhere like that. The weather's supposed to be good so we can have a picnic and go for a walk!" She said cheerily, imagining all the things they could do together.
Matthew smiled broadly at her enthusiasm. "That sounds perfect." He brought her hand up to his mouth and placed a firm kiss on the back of it. The need to spend time together, now that they felt some semblance of freedom to do so, overwhelmed them both. They were both going through testing times, but the company of the other provided a safe haven from it all. It provided them with comfort that they were doing the right thing.
Eyeing him curiously for a moment, Mary asked, "How are you really feeling?" She looked at him searchingly, wanting to make sure that he wasn't putting on a brave face for her sake.
"Honestly?" Matthew asked rhetorically. "I'm immensely relieved." He confessed. "I didn't realise how much I was being weighed down by guilt and longing - all this time the burden had been steadily increasing, but so gradually and sub-consciously that I had no idea." He frowned in thought. "I think last night I was a bit shell-shocked. The decision to tell her was made fairly suddenly and it was all a bit of a blur. But after sleeping – and after seeing you – I feel much better." He said sincerely.
"Good, I'm glad." Mary replied softly. "But you can still take all the time you need to be alone or be with your mother." She said seriously, back-tracking from her earlier ideas about their day-trip. "I don't want to push you into spending time with me if that's not what you want."
Matthew looked at her pointedly. "Mary, you do realise that the whole reason any of this happened is because spending time with you is precisely what I want?" Mary's face coloured pink in embarrassment. "Goodness, I hope you're a bit quicker-witted than this when you're at work." He goaded.
Her eyes automatically narrowed at him, but Mary was inwardly rejoicing. It felt so nice to be here with him like this, free to talk and caress and joke. Well, half-free – there was still her family to deal with. But this was still the best situation they'd ever been in together. Buoyed by this realisation and by the thought of their day tomorrow, she leaned over and gave Matthew a proper kiss.
"Speaking of work," she began, affectionately smoothing her hand down the front of Matthew's shirt. "I'm supposed to be meeting Dad for brunch with an advertising agent at 10am…" She sighed and looked up at Matthew apologetically.
"So you should probably start getting ready." Matthew finished her sentence for her. He shook his head with a smile, knowing that she felt like she was abandoning him in his time of need. "I'm telling you the truth, Mary – it's fine. I'm fine. I'll go to my Mum's place now and you can call me later when you're finished with work and we'll make arrangements for tomorrow." He said rationally, eliciting a reassured look from Mary.
"Alright." She couldn't help but smile when Matthew kissed her again. She shuffled out of the car and was almost at her front door again when Matthew called her name.
"Do you have a charger I could use? My phone's died on me." He held up the phone and showed her its blacked-out screen.
"Yeah, should do." Mary replied, approaching him to check what model he had. "Come inside and you can have a look." Matthew got out of the car and followed her into the house.
"There should be some upstairs, I'll bring them down." Mary said as she ascended the staircase.
Matthew waited in the hallway, his eyes aimlessly wandering around the room. They settled on the large grandfather clock in the corner. Must be a family heirloom, he thought, appraising its 19th century features. It was probably worth a sizeable sum, given that it was still in very good condition…although it appeared to be broken – the time showing on its face was incorrect. But then he noticed that the second hand was still ticking around, and his eyes grew wide in alarm just as he heard Mary curse loudly on the floor above him.
His head snapped round as he heard her footsteps run down the stairs, her expression panic-stricken.
"It's 11.20!" She cried. "Dad's left me four voicemails. How did this happen?" She held one hand to her head as she scrolled through the messages on her phone.
"Well…we probably didn't fall asleep until about 5am or so…" Matthew pointed out. "We must have both fallen into such a deep sleep that it felt like no time at all." He watched Mary frown as she finished listening to the first voicemail and moved onto the second. "Everything alright?" He asked.
"No, no, no," Mary muttered to herself, "no, that's a bad idea…" She told her phone, finally selecting the fourth voicemail to listen to.
"What is it?" Matthew asked, her countenance suggesting that he should be worried.
"Dad's –" Mary began, only to be cut off by the sound of the doorbell ringing loudly.
Matthew's eyes darted to the door and back to Mary, silently asking her a question. His heart sank when she gave an almost imperceptible nod. They merely stared at each other, at a loss, while the doorbell continued to sound out shrilly in the hallway. Eventually, for the sake of ending the piercing noise, Mary moved over to the front door and opened it just enough to see who was on the other side, despite already knowing.
"Mary, what on Earth happened?" Matthew heard Robert's raised voice, although he could not see him from where he was standing. "I've been trying to get a hold of you for over an hour! You didn't show up at all!" He pushed his way through the door, and Matthew braced himself, for the second time in twelve hours, for the inevitable onslaught. "You knew how important that meeting was and –" Robert cut himself off abruptly. He had just spotted Matthew.
Too exhausted to actively explain anything, Mary decided to remain silent and simply respond to her father's remarks.
Having been blinded by his indignation, Robert paused to survey Matthew's dishevelled appearance – his ruffled hair, his shirt untucked and half unbuttoned and his tired eyes, as if he'd only just woken up. He then turned to look at Mary, only just noticing that she was still in her nightdress. He turned back to Matthew. "So it's your car in the driveway, then." He said, with a tone of understanding.
"Yes." Matthew replied quietly, unsure what to expect.
"When did you arrive here?" Robert asked. His demeanour was calm – too calm. It worried Mary. She could sense that something tumultuous was brewing beneath the composed exterior.
"A-a while ago." Matthew said evasively, not wanting to invite more questions. "It's my fault that Mary missed your meeting; I was a bit upset and she stayed with me to talk me through it. Sorry." He apologised. There was a feeling of discomfort and suspicion between him and Robert now, one which had never existed between the two of them before. It saddened him.
"Oh? And what problems do you have that require such urgent assistance from my daughter?" Robert raised an eyebrow, his distrust clear.
"Dad!" Mary interjected. "That's a private question."
"Fod God's sake, Mary, I'm not an idiot!" Robert exploded, finally losing his patience. "What is going on here?" He looked between the two of them.
Matthew peered at Mary. She gave him a look which told him that she would do the talking. He had been screamed at enough lately – she should bear the brunt of the shouting from her father, not him. Quickly formulating a strategy in her mind, she estimated that it would be best to just come out with it. Protracted arguments and skirting around the issue would be of no use, and the truth was bound to come out anyway. It was wisest to be blunt.
"Matthew and I are…in a relationship," Mary began, suddenly realising that she didn't know quite how to define their circumstances, "and we want to be together. I'm going to break things off with Ash soon." She explained. Robert did not react other than to gaze at her, dumb-founded. "Matthew spoke to his wife last night, which is why he's here now." She thought she'd use her father's silence to elaborate, only there didn't seem much more to say. It was strange that something that had been so clandestine and torturous and complicated could be distilled into a few short sentences.
Mary watched her father as his face steadily grew in colour until it was almost totally red. Instead of directing his rage at her, however, he faced Matthew.
"What is the meaning of this?" He shouted.
"Robert, we-" Matthew began.
"Don't you dare try to justify yourself to me!" Robert cut him off, presuming that he was about to hear some spurious excuse escape Matthew's lips. "I take you under my wing, mentor you, introduce you to my contacts, dedicate more time than your business ideas are worth to advise you and this is what you do? Dance around with my daughter behind my back?" He bellowed.
"No, I – " Matthew stammered, taken aback by the fierceness of Robert's reaction. Tears were stinging at the back of his eyes. He'd greatly valued Robert as a friend and mentor during the formative years of his adulthood, and now he had lost his trust and his respect.
"Dad, we're not just fooling around." Mary said sternly, angry that she was being ignored. "We're in love and -"
"Oh don't give me all that bullshit." Robert dismissed her with an aggressive wave of his hand. "This isn't a fairytale. You two are both intelligent adults – you knew exactly what was happening and you knew what you were doing. I had my suspicions but let it slide in the mistaken belief that you would come to your senses. But I will absolutely not tolerate any more of this nonsense!" His voice rose again.
"This isn't something for you to 'tolerate', this is something that is going to happen." Mary said with conviction, although she feared that her arguments were futile. Her father was, by and large, a rational and reasonable man. But he held his pride above all other qualities and he had a few personal prejudices which were deeply embedded in his psyche. When any of these came into play, it was near impossible to change his mind and any words against him only fuelled his outrage.
Robert let out a rueful chuckle. He let his gaze linger on the floor for a few seconds before looking back up at Mary. When he met her eyes, there was a look on his face nothing short of utter disappointment.
"You know, I thought I'd never have to worry about you, Mary." He said, much more quietly than before. "I never thought you'd trouble us, never thought you'd even risk disgracing the family, given that you have the most pride out of all my daughters. Now, you're throwing everything away. You've forgotten who you are."
"And what exactly am I forgetting?" Mary challenged. She was incensed by his words, but a small part of her was devastated that his reaction was so adverse, albeit expectedly so.
"Well, Mary, if I haven't gotten the message to you over the past 26 years then I don't stand much of a chance of succeeding within the next five minutes." Robert replied bitterly.
"So what would you have me do? Force me to remain married to someone who I don't love?" Mary asked.
"Don't be so dramatic." Robert tutted. "You were perfectly content a few months ago. Besides, I think you've made it quite clear that you're not going to listen to me."
"But if you had your way?" Mary prompted, wanting him to explain what he wanted from her so that she could attack it from a logical perspective. That was the most effective way to appeal to his senses.
"If I had my way then I would have a daughter who respected her upbringing!" Robert shouted again. "And a student who respected me!" He turned to Matthew, who determinedly did not look away from his reproachful stare. The appearance of shame would lead Robert to think that their relationship was nothing more than a bit of physical fun, and he wanted to do everything he could to combat that notion.
Mary sighed deeply, her breath shaky. "It seems like you're not going to understand where I'm coming from." She told her father.
"No, I most certainly won't." Robert shook his head resolutely. "Going through a divorce will damage your work with the company, it will lower our standing among our friends and –"
"How will it do that, Dad?" Mary asked him exasperatedly. "This is the 21st century, divorce is not just for social pariahs. Jane Morley got divorced a few years ago and you and Mum still dine with her!"
"That was very different." Robert said sternly. "That poor woman was being abused by her husband, it wasn't a true marriage. She had no choice but to leave him and wasn't ruining anything by doing so. You do have a choice. You've married well and you're not being mistreated in any shape or form-"
"You know that Ash and I don't love each other." Mary interrupted him again, her voice rich with bitterness.
"You could have loved him if you'd given him a chance!" Robert countered. "We never forced you into anything, you were more than happy to go into the marriage. It's not even a year since you got married and instead of working on your relationship you're letting yourself be seduced by this man," Robert gestured towards Matthew, "and God knows how many others."
Matthew opened his mouth to retort, furious at Robert's assertions, but Mary caught his eye and shook her head. Purely because he didn't want to make the situation any worse for her, he shut his mouth.
"So my happiness means nothing in all of this." Mary said matter-of-factly.
Robert scoffed and looked up to the ceiling. "You're mistaking happiness for getting what you want, Mary. This is pure selfishness, with no regard for me, or your family's history, or your family's future, or the business."
There was no way she was going to persuade him to see the situation from her point of view, Mary thought sadly. She shrugged in resignation. "I have nothing else to say to you other than that this divorce is going to happen whether you like it or not. Disown me if you want."
Robert glared at her. "And let you shirk even more of your responsibilities?" He said incredulously. "Nice try."
Mary looked to Matthew with exasperation. Matthew had no idea what to do. It was all so unfair.
The trio stood in the hallway in silence for a minute. Eventually, Robert spoke. "I'm leaving. The meeting with the advertiser has been rescheduled for tomorrow instead. I can't go but I expect you to be there this time." He warned Mary. He didn't even grant Matthew the courtesy of acknowledging him before turning to walk out of the front door, letting it slam shut behind him.
Matthew looked at Mary; she was staring intently at the floor, her arms crossed over her chest, her body tense.
"Well, I think I need a cup of tea after that." She said with surprising nonchalance. Matthew watched her glide over to the kitchen. He knew that she wasn't as collected as she made herself appear. But she clearly wanted to be alone. He waited for a few minutes before entering the kitchen, to find Mary leaning against the counter, her body shaking violently with her sobs.
"Mary, Mary," Matthew rushed over to her, gently turning her around and pulling her into his embrace. "Shh, it's alright." He soothed, trying to calm her trembles.
The feel of Matthew's hand warmly rubbing up and down her back in a steady rhythm, coupled with his tender assurances, helped Mary quieten and control her breathing enough to speak. "All he cares about is his stupid family reputation!" She choked. "And his business. That's all I am – I'm just a means to carry on the bloodline and bring more money and prosperity into the Crawley dynasty."
"That's not all you are." Matthew told her, kissing her hairline.
"It is. That's probably all he sees when he looks at me - another employee, a successor. Not a daughter." She stopped crying and looked sullenly at the floor. "And to think, all this time I thought he'd raised me to have dignity and pride and ambition because he had my best interests at heart and wanted to equip me with the best qualities. But clearly he was doing it for his own personal gain." She shook her head as fresh tears fell down her cheeks. "Why doesn't he care about how I feel?" She asked sadly.
Matthew's heart broke for her. He tightened his arms around her and renewed his caresses and soft kisses on her hair, holding back his own tears of frustration at the injustice of it all.
"He just doesn't understand how you feel." He said patiently. "He's hurt because he feels like you're disobeying him and he's disappointed because he thinks you're giving up on your marriage easily. Remember – he doesn't know how close we are or what we've been through. As far as he knows, we've only met a few times and…slept together."
"Well then he should listen to me when I tell him what the situation is!" Mary protested.
"I know, I know." Matthew replied, massaging the back of her neck gently with one hand.
"He's treating me like I'm some dirty, troubled deviant." Mary said. Her head was still resting on Matthew's chest but her tears had stopped flowing.
"I still can't believe he's so uptight about what other people will think." Matthew shook his head in disbelief.
"Yes, well, he's still clinging on to the fact that his grandfather was an Earl." Mary scoffed. The Earldom had died out when Robert's maternal grandfather failed to produce an heir and the family gave up on trying to find a suitable one, given that the Earl no longer wielded any real power in the county. But Robert remained convinced that he was honour-bound by the gene pool and was obligated to live his life by a certain code of conduct. It was this conviction that had helped make Crawleys' such a success and lend it its air of exclusivity and aristocracy. He had mentioned this to Matthew, in fact, during his time as Matthew's management tutor at Cambridge, so Matthew had some insight into this frame of mind.
The two of them remained standing, wrapped in each other's arms, swaying slightly side to side in a comforting way.
"I'm sorry." Matthew whispered into Mary's hair.
"What for?" Mary asked curiously.
"I should never have come here. I should have just gone to my mother's place and left you alone and this wouldn't have happened."
Mary tutted. "Matthew, this was going to happen at some point."
"Not like this." Matthew argued. "You can't deny that there were better ways that he could have found out about us."
"I'm not sure how much difference it would make, to be honest." Mary sighed. Matthew kissed her forehead again and she pulled away from his embrace enough to kiss him. "You should go to your mother's place." Mary gently traced her thumb over his lips.
"I'm not leaving you." Matthew said immediately.
"It's fine. Ash might be home soon, anyway." Mary insisted, extricating herself from his strong grasp.
"Alright." Matthew reluctantly let go of her but took her fingers in his, needing to touch her, for his own comfort as well as hers. "I'm not sure I have the energy to explain this all to my Mum; I might go to stay at my friend Tariq's tonight. I'm meant to be going over there this afternoon anyway to help him settle in to his new place."
"OK." Mary nodded. "Look, I know we said we'd spend tomorrow together-" She began.
"Go to the meeting, Mary." Matthew insisted. "I'm not going to ask you to jeopardise anything else just to see me. Your job's more important." He said, even though he was thoroughly dispirited to know that their idyllic day had been so brutally thwarted.
"My job is not more important than you." Mary said firmly. Matthew just smiled at her lovingly and kissed her again.
"I'll speak to you later tonight." He promised her as they made their way back to the hallway.
…
A/N: so, another emotionally-charged chapter! I wanted to let them have a couple of light-hearted moments early on in the chapter. Things are moving along quite quickly now! xxx