DISCLAIMER: I don't own the fabulous characters or ideas of Twilight, Stephenie Meyer does. And she rocks. Need I saw more?

Chapter Thirteen: Difficult To Read

After a week of Edward's absence, I lost all aspirations for having the delectable altercation with him. I stopped searching for him, I stopped looking for his car, and I flushed every shred of anxiety I held towards seeing him out of my system. Instead I replaced these emotions with a new one, one of comfort. A smug sensation of catastrophic proportions, for I felt this battle was long won and this war between us was over. His absence meant a surrender, which in turn announced my victory. And this felt better than any quarrel would've awarded me, I was perfectly content with my empty life now rid of Cullen-related drama. I pretended as if his family wasn't there, and as if they along with Edward had never existed. Their lives were the most irrelevant facts to me, and that's how I intended to keep it from now on. I had more important matters to focus on, before it was too late. It was now going on four weeks without food or sleep, not even water anymore. Anything I consumed would make me horribly uneasy, and I would gag it up later. Even worse, my eyes were getting even darker by the second if it was possible. And my once soft, yet chillingly cold illuminating skin is getting hard as a rock. If I bumped things with my arm I could dent them, and it was becoming very frustrating.

But even with these sudden very apparent physical changes, somehow I was beginning to build a very small social life. Although doing so was completely pointless and would most definitely make later harder for me, I made my final goal in my life to have some memories to try and hold on to. Faint pictures of how good things once were, before I was condemned. It was now Monday morning, and I was undeniably aware of both Mike and Eric's attraction to me. The basis of which still puzzles me, but I was very glad when I learned my observations were correct. I was getting better at reading.

To add more to my list of despairs, prom was approaching quickly. It was only a few months away, and some of the students were already freaking themselves out over it. But this was one thing I did not worry myself with. If there ever was a time to mature and start accepting my fate was inevitable, the time was now. So I had to just accept there would be some memories I wouldn't have the pleasure of making. At the rate I'm changing, I won't be anything close to human by prom. Why raise false hopes to gain nothing but disappointment? Besides, even without my unfortunate mishap, dances were never really for me. If I could never succeed at the simplest tasks or sports, or even just walking, I would never be able to dance. That was just logic. To be technical, I'd never danced with anyone other than my parents. So even getting asked on a date, namely prom, would have been too scary an experience for me. Back then, I would've shuddered at the thought. I would shudder now too, just for more reasons than those. So attempting such a thing has forever been, and will forever be out of the question.

This decision was made a long time ago when puberty hit. So it made it that much harder to break two hearts and turn both Eric and Mike down when they asked me. But it was necessary, for them. For their safety. And even though I know I did, they've been carrying on as if my rejection hasn't affected them. This, I'll admit, I was more than happy to go along with. Truthfully, after being so emotionally drained for what feels like an eternity, the short time at Forks High School was awakening these slumbering emotions within me. An experience I did not anticipate.

Feeling the tiniest fraction of contentment with my somewhat life, I walked into biology sort of relaxed. I expected to see the seat next to mine empty as it had been, but I was wrong. Dead wrong. All of those angry, relentless emotions returned to me with fury and vengeance as my eyes fell upon Edward Cullen, sitting in his seat with a smile plastered on his face as if to be some pale happy ghost. His reaction to me was one of downright shock, while my reaction to him was completely different. I smelled his scent in the air and my body locked in a defense-ready state, tensing up at the very sight of him. Bracing itself for whatever would occur. My jaw clenched tightly and it could be heard faintly, how sharp and solid my teeth had become. His presence was tantalizing, threatening, alluring, and angering at the same time.

What made me want to destroy him was that same thing that made me want to be near him at the same time. What was going on? Why, yet again, was he doing this to me? Unwilling to set off an alarm, I walked peacefully to my seat beside him never once taking my eyes off him. He kept smiling. He was testing me, that's what this was. Well I would not give in. I would not lose, and let him win. I pretended he wasn't there as Mr. Molina explained today's lab on Planaria. I could still act is if he didn't exist, just like I disregarded the rest of his family. But he wouldn't let this happen.

He gently smiled at me. "Hello."

I looked up shocked, still holding my breath. (Of course I was taking overcautious procedures.) His voice was so brilliant and confident.

"I'm sorry I didn't get a chance to introduce myself last week. I'm Edward Cullen. You're Bella?"

And he was so gentleman-like. He spoke in a manner that was not common or normal, like he was literally from a different time. I could only compare his strange speech to the old movies my mom made me watch with her as a kid. But this, among other new developments, sent me into the world of shock and confusion I was currently stranded in. The biggest fact being why was he being so friendly now? Where had all the hostility gone? Did he not literally want to kill me a week ago? I wasn't prepared for this. I could barely formulate my thoughts. He made me stutter when I spoke, I wasn't sure of myself or my replies anymore.

I was shocked. "Um…yes."

My mind was still running a million miles a second when I realized he was sliding the microscope over to me.

He started smiling. "Ladies first."

I nodded at this, still unsure of what to make of it or him. Why was I unsure? How had he made me so unsure of myself? Where had all my confidence and clarity gone? Why had my righteousness been lost? I was unable to keep my reserve and hold back my questions any longer.

I was fighting with myself to ask, to even say anything. "You were gone."

I looked into the microscope quickly, half of me mad at myself for even speaking to him and the other half a little embarrassed. Why, I was unsure. Again.

"Yeah. Um…I was out of town for a couple of days. Personal reasons."

Interesting. But I couldn't seem interested. I slid the microscope back to him.

"Um…prophase."

He raised a cheerful eyebrow at me skeptically. "Do you mind if I look?"

I shook my head no. How absurd. I have an extensive background in the study of cells, I've been in advance sciences since junior high school.

He wrote down the answer. "It's prophase."

Oh, you're kidding.

"Like I said."

When he finished writing the answer down, he looked back up at me and he smiled. I felt something when he did this, something quite unfamiliar.

"So you're enjoying the rain?"

I can't explain why, but when he asked this all of my defenses fell and I laughed. Again, how absurd. I felt this laugh, something that I hadn't done since I last spoke with my mom.

He was confused by it. "What?"

"You're asking me about the weather?"

He smiled at the randomness of the question. "Yeah I…guess I am."

Since my defenses were already demolished, I did the unthinkable. I let him in and I was completely honest with him. Something I had done with absolutely no one in Forks. Not even Charlie.

"Um…I don't really like the rain. Any cold…wet thing, I don't really…"

He had me speaking in fragments. And this conversation used up my entire supply of breath I was reserving to sustain me through the whole period. I inhaled his heavy scent at full force. It was a little more bearable than my last few encounters with it, but it was still undesirable. He chuckled at my response as he put the next slide onto the microscope.

Now I was curious. "What?"

He was still chuckling. "Nothing, it's…nothing. It's anaphase."

He looked at the slide for all of half a second, then wrote the answer. Of course I was skeptical, after all this was my grade too.

"Mind if I check?"

He smiled at me again.

"Sure."

I peered at it, and agreed with him.

"It's anaphase."

It was his turn to smile. "Like I said."

He wrote the rest of the answers down.

"If you hate the cold and the rain so much, why'd you move to the wettest place in the continental U.S.?"

"It's complicated."

He gave me the most dazzling smile ever seen. "I'm sure I can keep up."

I hesitated, already knowing what my next action was. I was going to be completely honest with him again, letting him know more of the information he was not supposed to know.

I had to stop this, I could feel what was happening. I was going to get close to him, and he would be added to the already too-long list of those that would get left behind. I had to end this now. Where had all my tenacity fleeted to? Wherever it was hiding, I would need to draw it back to terminate this situation and save this boy. Just as I had saved those kids back in Madison. Just the same as I would soon save mom, Charlie, Phil, Jacob, and Billy. Because alike every other male on my list, he was obviously too stupid to save himself.

"Um…my mom remarried."

"So…you don't like the guy, or…"

He kept pressing. Try to remember how he first treated you, Bella. Remember your first day, your unforgettable first impression of Edward Cullen. Ignore the sudden dignified impression he was leaving now. Even with all of my coaching, I wasn't listening.

"No, that's not it. Phil's really nice."

He reached and switched slides again, then identified the answer.

"It's metaphase. You want to check it?"

I shook my head no, with my current state moving towards absolute astonishment. Stop it, Bella. I told myself over and over. I just wouldn't' listen. Our conversation continued through the remainder of class, and I let him in deeper. So deep in fact, he was courteous enough to escort me to my next class so we could finish our conversation. He seemed genuinely interested in me, and had more questions that you can possibly imagine. Like an amount that would make you wonder how much time he'd spent thinking on the subject. And against my better judgment, I answered every last one.

"Why didn't you move with your mother and Phil?"

"Well…Phil's a minor league baseball player. And he travels a lot. So my mom stayed home with me, but…I knew it made her unhappy. So I figured I'd…stay with my dad for a while."

By now we had stopped walking, and we were standing by some lockers. The lie seemed pretty convincing, he was believing it. Since I knew it worked, it would be my alibi I stuck to. It should have worked, all the time I'd devoted to conceiving it. And it was true, for the most part. So I couldn't be completely penalized for my falsehoods.

"And now you're unhappy?"

I was right. He was trying to get to know me. He had spent a lot of time thinking about this. He was trying to get inside of my head. Why was I letting him, again?

"I'm sorry. I'm just trying to figure you out. You're very difficult for me to read."

As he spoke, I got lost in his gold topaz eyes. A complete change from the empty blackness I saw a week ago. His eyes no longer resembled my own, they were a liquid butterscotch color. Something I noticed at the very beginning of course, but just now worked up enough courage to inquire about.

"Hey, did you get contacts?"

All of the sudden he snapped his eyes shut and acted really nervous and anxious. His tone changed to an evasive one, as if he was searching for an excuse or hiding something.

"No, it's the uh…the fluorescent's. Um…"

And he walked off mid-sentence. How peculiar. He must not of had a complete reply. Or like I suspected, he was hiding something. He didn't expect me to be so observant and pick up on this oddity. As soon as I stepped outside into the rain I inhaled deeply, feeling instant relief from the burning sensation in the back of my throat.