Chapter 14

More than a half an hour later, JR was standing outside of Bianca's door. He hadn't knocked yet or was even poised to, thoughts continuing to train on his mind. It wasn't like he and his father didn't fight a lot but lately they've been trying to start over. A new heir had entered their lives and they wanted to change for the better. His father didn't have any right to tell him who he could associate with, especially when it concerned Bianca. He knocked a little harder on the door than intended. It took but a second before Bianca revealed herself to him and boy did she reveal herself. JR's mouth gaped staring at her state of dress. Bianca blushed at his expression, and JR thought it only made her look more beautiful. She wore a tight fitting, black, strapless dress that flowed down to her knees, hugging all of the right curves. Absolutely breathtaking and that's what she did with him. Bianca took his breath away. He struggled to utter appropriate compliment, "Wow, you look awesome."

She smiled still reaping in his reaction, "Thanks. Come in,"

He crossed into the apartment, while she shut the door behind him. He gazed at her, not being able to function on anything else. "You really do look beautiful, Bianca. I can't tell you enough. Looking at you I actually feel a little under dressed."

Bianca looked down at her dress and saw she did look pretty formal. It was only dinner. She looked back up at JR apologetically, "I can change into something else."

He was quick to stop her, "Don't—don't change. You're perfect."

Bianca felt the heat rising in her cheeks. She didn't want to see herself right now. Thinking of something, she looked at J.R. strangely, "I saw your car pull up a pretty good while ago. Did you have any trouble getting up here?"

He dodged her question by heading over to what had become his favorite chair in her apartment. She blinked at his rashness, "Okay. Did you have trouble before you got here?" She walked over to the chair, taking a seat on its armrest.

JR looked up at her, her concern was evident, "It's nothing for you to worry about."

Bianca chuckled lightly, "What's the point in you telling me that? You know I am," he wasn't making an effort to let her in, "JR, how big of a hypocrite can you be? Yesterday I was willing and ready to push you away but you wouldn't let me do it. I don't want to measure problems but I think I can handle a little extra weight. The more you give to me, the easier it'll be for you."

"Don't make such a deal out of it, Binks," he started, her only comeback was a steel glare, "Alright...my father and I weren't exactly on the best of terms when I left the house tonight."

Bianca nodded, "You two had an argument. I'm sorry." She sincerely was. Stuff like this got to JR, even when he didn't want it to. Fights with his father hurt him more than he would care to admit. "What was it about?"

"You," JR answered, "My admission in court yesterday didn't sit too well with him."

She sighed, "I got the same talk from my mother. I just left it before it could get any worse and we said things we'd regret. Miranda's with her, so I think she'll cool down."

"I don't want to cause a problem between you and Erica. You guys have a great relationship...I always found that admirable."

"We'll always have our disagreements, JR, but this is one thing she has to accept. I'm not going to stop being friends with you." JR tried not to wince at the word 'friends' but he couldn't help but feel a sting as Bianca continued, "No matter how determined she is, you and I are going to remain best friends."

JR rose abruptly, "We can't do that, Bianca."

"What do you mean?" she asked unsure.

He turned sharply towards then softened his eyes when he realized how bold he had just been, "I can't be just friends with you."

"JR--"

He cut her off, "Let me get this out. I know that you don't love me. That you can't feel that way for me but I can't help the way I feel for you. I'm in love with you and I don't think that's ever going to stop. I'm not sure when it happened or how but it's there, Bianca. God, when you opened that door, I felt like--like I was seeing an angel. I'm babbling, I know that. And it's pretty early in the evening to put all of this on you but it's what I've been thinking for the past few months of my life. When you almost died, I already was dead but I felt myself be revived when my baby boy was given to me. That was because of you," he advanced towards her placing his hands at her waist, not breaking the deep eye contact he had started with her. "You brought the life back into me. I don't want to let go of that but I can't settle for being just your friend."

"JR," her voice was soft, "I don't even...know what to say or how to respond. This is so fast. No more than a year ago I couldn't even stand the sight of you." Bianca admitted gazing up at him. They were the only two people in the world right now. This needed to get this out of the way. When Kendall had suggested JR having feelings for her, Bianca had thought it was absurd. But the more she thought about it, the more it disturbed her. Not just the possibility but the chance she felt something too. She just hadn't wanted to acknowledge it until it became too strong to deny.

JR could almost see the wheels spinning in her head. Keeping one hand one her midsection, he lifted the other to stroke her cheek, "It's all changed for the better. I think this is my favorite thing to do to you. Just touching you, the simple satisfaction of touching you."

She leaned her cheek into his hand and placed one of her own hands on his, "I wanted to impress you."

He grinned knowingly, "The dress?"

"The dress."

Gently he replied, "I had a feeling about that. There are so many things we have to discuss but I don't want you to feel pressured."

"I need time, also this night was supposed to be about us helping each other with the trial," she commented.

JR pressed a chaste kiss to her forehead, "Exactly. Plus I'm kind of hungry, not completely in the mood for chatter."

Bianca laughed, "Oh yeah, dinner." He gracefully tugged her off of the armrest and led her into the kitchen. He saw the various sized pots and pans on the stove and raised a brow towards her, "Did you cook?"

She swatted him on the arm, offended by his hidden meaning, "I do have culinary skills."

"I wasn't questioning them. I always thought of you as a takeout kind of girl."

Bianca smiled up at him.

The dinner went smoothly. The pair talked about nothing and everything, cliché but it was true. There was no tension; they were just comfortable to be around one another. Two hours later the two were back in the living room, this time lounging on Bianca's sofa. JR's back lied against the end of the couch while his long legs traveled down the length of it. Bianca rested in between his parted limbs, her back to his chest. She was playing with his callous fingers obviously in deep thought.

He discreetly smelled the top of her head, a vague scent of vanilla and sugar pleasuring his senses, "What are you thinking about?"

Bianca paused, "Babe."

"Sorry I asked," he mumbled.

Bianca had heard his comment but went on, "I keep waiting for the day I run into her."

"I hope you kick her ass that day," he joked.

"JR."

"Sorry."

She turned her face up to him. JR was shocked by the sight in front of him. Her eyes were watering; dry tears stained her face while new ones streamed down. His thumbs quickly began working to brush them away, "Sweetheart, don't cry over her. She's not worth it."

Bianca sniffed lightly, "What am I going to do, JR? This is a small town and it's a slim chance I'll never pass by her again. I've already confronted her, she's been tried...she doesn't pay for the hurt she's caused me. I don't think I can stand that. I'm not used to holding a grudge and breaking isn't an option for me. People have always treated me like a china glass, surrounding me with their bubble wrap. JR, I don't know to do."

JR wrapped his arms around her torso, "Neither do I. Most of the time I want to yell out at the world until I get an answer. You wouldn't be human if you didn't feel the way you do. The hard part is realizing that you can't lose yourself. Bianca, you're so strong. This is not going to take you down. Don't focus on punishing Babe or reeling in the pain she put you through. You had a great life before her and you'll have an even better one after. Don't let her make your path, you decide what you do. Don't live to avoid Babe Carey, you're already better than her. Stick with that."

Bianca looked at him utterly amazed, "That was very...sensitive and inspiring."

He chuckled at the expression on her face, "I have my days."

Bianca paused, something popping into her head, "What about Adam?"

Confusion etched JR's face, "What about him?"

"You have thought about custody right? Babe's not going to give up so easily. Crazy or not, she's attached to that child." Bianca inquired.

"My lawyers are already working on it. She'll never be near my son again." He stated.

Bianca let out a soft yawn, running a loose hand through his silky, spiky hair, "I hope you win."

"I will," she yawned again this time a little louder, "Tired?"

"Exhausted. I haven't been sleeping well lately." Bianca replied.

"Florida?" he questioned. She nodded in response and JR looked at her with empathy, "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I thought I'd get over it."

"I'm not going to keep you up any longer. I'll leave and let you get to bed,"

She shifted and JR grunted at the sudden movement, Bianca didn't seem to notice it, "You don't have to."

The suggestion excited JR. He actually thought over the notion for a good while. But when he looked down at her face he saw she was struggling to keep her eyelids up, "You don't know what you're saying, Binks."

Her voice muffled by his chest she responded, "Just don't move."

"You're so out of it," he half-whispered.

She let out an incoherent moan. That didn't help things. He gingerly maneuvered to get out of the couch. He was almost successful until he heard her quiet voice again. "What are you doing?"

"Turning off the lights. I'll be back."

That seemed to be enough for her. He did as he said his footsteps soft as he went to and fro. When he returned to the couch, JR found Bianca fully asleep. Careful not to wake her, he tucked his arms under her and strongly lifted her from the couch. Moving around the living room, he carried her off to her bedroom. He'd never been in there but he somehow he knew where it was. The bed was high from the ground but he managed to get her between the sheets, making sure to first take off her shoes. He tucked her in but he felt something tempting him. He looked down at her mouth. Her lips were taunting him, pouty and slightly ajar. One kiss was all he need but JR resisted. She hadn't slept well in weeks and he wouldn't be the one to take advantage of that. He wanted to give her this one thing. There was no denying how bad he wanted to climb in there with her but he promised her no pressure and he meant it. Reluctantly he left the room and returned to the room he had previously occupied. He looked at the couch with dread but crashed on it anyways. For tonight this would do just fine. JR heard a light snore in the distance and went to sleep smiling to himself.