Paper Mario X

Chapter 13: A Mountain of a Time

The party chugged along, all of them getting anxious to get off the cramped train. Goombario occasionally tried to squirm around to get some air, but Link adjusted himself as well and Goombario was stuck again.

"This is so not fair…" the Goomba groaned.

"It's for the best, we had to make room…" the swordsman retorted. Bombette used Link's knee to look out the window. While they were examining the scenery, Kooper turned to Mario.

"Do you think we're going the right way?" he asked. Mario responded with a nod. "Good. I kinda hope we'll see Kolorado…the last time I saw him, he was getting ready to do a desert expedition."

"Are we there yet?" whined Goombario.

"No! Just shut up until I stand up, and you'll know we're there!"

"There's just one little problem- I CAN'T BREATHE!"

"Oh wah."

Goombario would have grunted, but he couldn't, of course. Kooper started to get hot, and he fell into an gasping episode on Mario. Mario retorted in surprise, accidentally smacking Link in the face. Link's leg jolted up from the shock making Bombette nearly fly out the window. He reached out to grab her, giving Goombario a brief moment of air until Mario pushed Kooper onto the Goomba, causing more suffocation.

"I'm bored!"

"Are we there yet?"

"I'm getting claustrophobic! Oh no…passing out!"

"Oh, with the drama Kooper! Move so I can sit on Goombario!"

"NO! Be a pal Kooper…even though you replaced me!"

Mario: Chill out!

"Mario talked!"

"We all can see that Bombrat!"

"You wanna go, you edible nuisance! ?"

"GIVE IT YOUR ALL BOMBETTE! YOU TELL THAT FUNGUS!"

"BOOM!"

"MY FACE!"

There was an explosion in the backseat. Goombario's face was near blasted off, Kooper was having a seizure, Bombette was twitching in anger, Link was cheering, and Mario was getting ready to have a moment.

Mario: Who's idea was this? !

"Uh, yours…"

"Wah…" was all Kooper moaned before he fainted.

"Attention passengers. We are arriving at our destination!"

Everyone immediately sat down and was silent. Kooper was perfectly fine, Bombette sat dignified, Link patted Goombario and Goombario smiled, and Mario couldn't believe how fast everyone had pulled themselves together! Once the train stopped at the station, the gang burst out the moment the door opened. Goombario was so airless he tripped while getting off and wheezing at the same time.

"Worst moments of my life…" Goombario grunted.

Mario quickly led his gang away from the train, hoping that it would be quite a while before they had to get on it again. The Toad waiting there told them they could get to Dry Dry Desert by going through Mt. Rugged.

"That's good…" Kooper sighed, relieved.

"Let's head up!" Link urged. He held his sword high in the air, ready to locate the next Star Spirit. Mario smiled at his eagerness and lead the way.

. . .

They had hardly made a dent in their hike when another familiar voice was heard.

"Ah…no…Confound it! Where could it be…?" it asked. Mario recognized it and quickly turned around to look for the voice, only to have Parakarry bump into him from behind. They crashed and both men were knocked down.

"Oh! Sorry folks! So very sorry! I was looking for something and not watching where I was going…" he explained. "Aren't you Mario? Why, you are. You're THE Mario! Hello there!"

"Sure is! And I'm THE Link!" Link added, refusing to be ignored.

"The name's Parakarry. I deliver letters. Um…I'm normally a letter-perfect postman, but I'm having a bit of trouble with a lost letter. Wouldn't you know it-I dropped it on Mount Rugged and now I can't find it. If you happen to stumble upon a letter around here, please tell me all right?"

"Sure!" Kooper told him.

"My job will depend on it!"

Mario and the group headed into the next area. Link spotted a slide with coins on it, and he and Bombette slid down immediately. They ended in a heap on the ground, but had fun nevertheless. Goombario told them to quit playing around and they pouted. When they came back up, a mole popped out of the ground.

"Finally! A fight!" Link exclaimed. He then look at Bombette and softened up a bit.

"And this creature is…a Monty Mole " Goombario read. "Monty Moles are rock-throwing moles, big time mischief-makers. Ugh. They have kind of scary looking faces. They're pretty weak, though. Maybe they wear sunglasses because they have really sensitive eyes. Or maybe they're just hip."

"Koopa Troopas had sunglasses, and they certainly we're not hip," Bombette scoffed.

"Whatever, they have three HP, an attack of two, and no defense. Go crazy."

Mario and Kooper started off with Mario bonking it on the head with his hammer, then Kooper tossing his shell. The first mole was knocked out on the spot. The second mole threw a rock at Mario, doing two to him. Link let Bombette go first and she detonated next to the mole, blowing it to bits. Once the moles were defeated, they headed down into a hidden area where there was a block. Mario broke it with his hammer and a Whacka appeared.

"AW! It's so cute!" Bombette gushed.

"Whack it, Mario! It'll release a Whacka Bump! That's another tasty treat!" Goombario explained.

"Tasty treat? I'm in!" Link cried, dashing over to the blue mole, sword ready for a bashing. He stopped dead in his tracks when Bombette yelled,

"Don't hurt it! If you bonk it too much, it'll die!" Bombette sobbed.

"But Whacka Bumps are sooooo tasty!" Goombario protested.

"You heartless jerk!" Bombette snapped, shoving Goombario. "How can you say such a thing? What if we whacked you just because your pain tasted good?"

"That sounds really weird…" Koopa trailed nervous, only to shut his mouth when Bombette gave him a testy look.

"I'll only hit it once, and I gotta have a taste!" Link moaned.

"Just. Once." responded Bombette coldly.

Link cheered, whacked it with his sword, picked up the bump, and had a hearty bite out of it. It definitely beat the Super Shroom! As he gave Bombette a bite, he wanted more…

"No more Link! You promised!" she growled.

"Okay, okay…" a disappointed Link sighed.

"Come on! No more dawdling!" Kooper said. The group unanimously agreed and went back to the main path, in pursuit of a letter also. In the next part of the mountain, Kooper spotted the letter on a ledge. Mario climbed on a ledge parallel to it, shot Kooper over, and snagged the letter. He then continued forward, thinking about how to get the badge way over on the far left…Mario would have to come back later. Instead, he'd have to focus on the Clefts he just ran into.

"Okay now, Clefts, Clefts…" Goombario rambled, flipping rapidly through the pages. "Cleft. Clefts are pretty strong, so you'd better be careful. Their specialty is pretending to be rocks, so watch your step on the mountain. You'll get hurt if you jump on the spikes on their heads. You know, there's courage in running away sometimes...its HP, attack, and defense are all two…"

"Let us go first Mario!" Link begged. Mario let them, and Link started off with a slash that did nothing.

"Dang."

Bombette waddled smugly over and pulled out the Thunder Bolt, getting a good amount of damage dealt to the Cleft. It died on the spot as the duo exchanged a high five. While dancing around, the two noticed everyone had run on ahead. They then followed their friends up the mountain.

"You guys are so mean!" Bombette called.

By the time the two caught up with their gang, they had already navigated a difficult path and found a letter to Kolorado!

"The nerve of some people!" Link growled.

"You're too slow!" Goombario mocked. Link glared at him and sent Bombette on an exploding montage. Goombario ran away screaming like a girl while Bombette was blasting him to a pulp. Mario whammed his hammer into the ground to get them to stop and pointed forward. The three muttered something and tagged along. They came to another slide that Link, Bombette, and Kooper happily slid down, and ended up back in the area of where Link and Bombette were ditched. Mario led them back where the fork was and this time, they went right. They ran right off the side of a cliff where a bridge was out. Kooper found another letter. Link groaned very loudly when he found out it was for Goompapa back at the Goomba Village.

"So many painful memories…" he recalled.

Mario and co. bounced on the spring to get back up. Since they hit a dead end, they decided to give the letters they found back to Parakarry. On the way there, they had to deal with mobs of Monty Moles and Clefts, causing Mario and Link to gain some much needed fighting experience.

"GUYS! Parakarry ahead!" Kooper shouted, indicating that they were back at the confused mailman. Parakarry was ahead, still floating around not even trying to find his letters.

"What a potato!" Link exclaimed quietly. "No! I got it! He's like a bag of mail he's so lazy!"

Goombario, Kooper, and Mario moaned like cows again while Link and Bombette cracked up. Parakarry heard their noises and turned around. Mario handed all three letters to the Parakoopa.

"Now I've got all the letters I've lost…today. Oh, thank you so much! You're a life saver! I wish there was some way I could repay you for your help…" Parakarry explained. "Actually, to be honest…I haven't lost letters on just Mt. Rugged. I may have sort of dropped some all over the Mushroom Kingdom while I was flying. Heh heh…yeah. You're good at finding letters. Do you think you could keep an eye out during your travels. In return, I'll offer you whatever help I can…"

"Here we go again, just join us already!" Goombario shouted.

Parakarry cheered and thanked Mario about a thousand times. Goombario grumbled again.

"You shall not regret this!" Parakarry exclaimed.

"Oh no! That's what Goombario said, and look where we've been!" Link guffawed, indicating a flashback-

"NO! No, do NOT go there!" Goombario screamed.

"You two have some issues…" Parakarry exclaimed.

"It's not my fault he's so impossible!" Link cried.

"Well, anyway, I can carry you over shorts gaps if you need me to…" Parakarry told them, trying to get back on track.

"That's perfect! There was a bridge out way over there and we need some help crossing!" Kooper realized.

"Let's get cracking, shall we?"

Mario agreed instantly and he, Kooper, and Parakarry hurried off. Link, Bombette, and Goombario realized they left and sped after them to the bridge out.

Place Where the Bridge is Out-

"This was hindering you guys?" Parakarry chuckled. "I'll have you guys over this gap in no time!"

One by one, and starting with Mario, Parakarry flew everyone over the gap, safely bringing them to the other side. Once all five of them were over, Parakarry sunk to the ground and started panting.

"Whew…you guys are heavy!" he mumbled.

"Hey! That was your idea. Besides, Link's weight is in muscle!" Bombette giggled, cuing Link to strike a pose. They turned and crossed the bridge that wasn't out, but before they made it any farther, a bird suddenly stopped them.

"Hey there! Hold up a second parder!" it said. "Jest a dern minute. I've seen you somewhere…"

"Work on your vocab dude!" Link called out. The bird pulled out a poster and took a look at it.

"Yep, very similar! You look a lot like this feller Mario who's on Bowser's wanted poster…Now give! What's yer name?"

"He's Luigi, sir!" a squeaky voice shouted. The gang looked past to see a little pink ball bounce over to them. Link gasped, as he recognized the pink puff.

"KIRBY! ?"

"HIIIIIIII!"