Disclaimer: Not mine!
Okay, and moving right along!
Thanks for all the reviews, sorry for the errors (this is usually typed on a palm pilot with no spellcheck and my computer hates Microsoft Word with a vengeance. So, I just upload and hope there aren't many errors in my typing. Sorry!)
Edit: This chapter has been crossed over with the previous one in terms of timing. Forgive the confusion, it should still be pretty clear to follow.
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Risa's POV:
"Hey, when did Satoshi leave?" I look around, expecting to see him appear at any moment. Taro shrugs lightly.
"Guess he had to go. Should you really be calling him Satoshi?"
"He calls me Risa. And why would he leave without even saying goodbye?"
"You got me. Should you really let him call you Risa? It's a level of intimacy that I think only truly close to you people should enjoy..." He leaning in, smiling sweetly. I really don't understand why Satoshi seems to hold such animosity against him! Taro's as nice a guy as they come.
"You're so selfish! I'm not going to make him call me Harada-san just to suit you." I poke at him playfully but he leans back in his chair. He's been a little... odd since we began going out. (Was it only the other night he told me he loved me?) He's all affection whenever Satoshi is around but when he's not, Taro always seems strangely aloof.
Of course I still like him, but... I could do without the weirdness.
And the weirdness of Satoshi! He knows better than to bolt in the middle of a study session without even saying goodbye. Maybe he didn't want to be the odd one out...?
But that's never bothered him before. Maybe I'll go check in on him after we finish up with this. I don't want to leave him thinking that I don't care about him. Even if Taro wants to go out tonight, the movie tickets can wait until afterwards.
Satoshi's more important.
Well, this time anyway. I really want to know what's going on with him…
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Our study session finally wraps up, but I don't know if we knew any more then when we started. Taro's sighing dramatically, since I've just told him that I'm going to go see Satoshi.
Why does it bother him so much? It's not like I'm being uncommonly nice, I'm just worried.
He saw that kiss with Taro and-- I don't know why I even think it would bother him. He kissed me when he didn't love me, right?
It doesn't matter. Our group heads out of the library, Daisuke and Riku heading off in one direction.
"Do you want me to come with you?" Taro asks politely, books slung over his shoulder as he smiles. "Even though he's probably fine. Hiwatari's not one to get upset so easily, he probably just realized he had something else he needed to do."
I blink.
"I never said he'd be upset. I was just concerned because he left without saying goodbye. Did you say something to upset him?"
It's interesting, in a kind of morbid, Satoshi-like way, to watch his face redden.
"Nope. Nothing he would take offense at. He was the one being offensive if anything... the things he said about you..." Taro says, then shakes his head but it's not like I didn't hear that. Satoshi said things about me?
"What kind of things?" Can't stop myself from asking, even though a tiny voice is shrieking that I don't want to know.
"He was talking about how irritating you were, that whiny tone in your voice which only HE seems to hear. He practically welcomed me to you, denied all affection for you; I'm afraid I couldn't control myself and... I told him off. He had no right to talk about you like that. After I did that, I guess he stalked off."
Satoshi... Satoshi disliked me? Insulted me? And Taro defended me... I can feel anger rising in my stomach and have to hold myself back. Not now Risa, not now…
"How COULD he?!" I explode. "I've been nothing if not nice to him! Why does he have to be like that? I mean, he never appeared to..."
Taro opens his arms and I press into them, feeling his heart beat against my head. My nose scrunches up as I fight back the rising tears that belong in some melodrama. It's not fair! Why does he hate me if all I'm trying to do is help him? I even thought... I even...
Bloody footprints from where I'm standing, facing Satoshi's apartment, stream toward the apartment in a haphazard run. Satoshi's...? Well, they're the right size.
I'm thinking about his SHOE size when the guy just said he hates me! Get a GRIP Risa! Why does he have to be such a jerk!
Why did I ever like that idiot?
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I come home alone, Taro had an appointment he had to go to; promising me that he'd check in later, that I 'wasn't to do anything drastic, Satoshi was just wrong was all, he didn't see the side of me that Taro did.' It doesn't help with the scathing fact that when Taro and Satoshi were alone, the first thing Satoshi did was start tearing me apart.
He-he really seemed to enjoy my company at times, when we didn't have spats or were trying to avoid being 'coupled' by his over-eager and over-jealous fanclub. Sometimes his eyes lost the 'lost' look that they carry all the time...
...or maybe that was just me. But I could swear, sometimes, he cared. He caught me when I tripped, offered to help me, studied with me. The list goes on and on! Would someone who hates me so much go through all that, simply to get me out of their hair? He almost seemed to be doing the opposite; allowing me inside, allowing me to see a part of him that people almost never even catch a glimpse of.
A human part.
The phone makes its way into my hand.
I'll just check.
(divider)
No POV:
-Ring-
... the immaculate, cold-as-steel room is silent.
-Ring-
One piercing blue eye opens hesitantly, burning in the direction of the phone. She's calling, just to be friends. Or to help her plan for a date with Mokuta. How was he sucked into the same problem as Niwa? HOW?! He wasn't so easily manipulated...
An arm rose to shield the eyes from the world again. He didn't want to think about this yet.
-Rr---
It stopped ringing, the cord having been untimely ripped from the wall and lying lifeless on the carpet as if a murder had been committed.
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Risa's POV:
He didn't answer the phone. Disconnected it probably. I have little doubt that Satoshi has caller id, judging by his tone when he picks up the phone. But what do I DO? I can't just leave things this way, hanging in mid-air like a shot fish (do people ever shoot fish? Oh never mind…). I can talk to him at school tomorrow, but who knows if that's soon enough?
I can feel a headache beginning to pound behind my eyes and yank my hair down from the ponytail it's been in all day so I can think better. Calling Daisuke and having him go over to counsel Satoshi isn't so bad, but-- why do I even think something's wrong with him?!
Since when does anyone in their right mind trust the bad feeling in the back of their mind and the pit of their stomach? I'm not connected to him, we have no special "bond", he's just... a friend. One who hurts me occasionally, but a friend. A friend who rips me to shreds behind my back (those are usually called traitors Risa).
Not like a boyfriend. Not like Taro at all.
"Risaaa..." Speaking of Taro, he stands just outside the window now, smiling sweetly. "How are you doing?" He asks, with the perfect measure of sympathy and casual grace.
"I'm doing a lot better. I had some time to think through it and... Satoshi can't possibly hate me. It goes against all his actions so far, so he must have been just in a bad mood." I smile as I say this, both for Taro's benefit and my own. Even as I say it, I can feel that it's true. But there's still that sinking feeling inside me...
Taro doesn't speak for a moment. That's... a bit odd. Then he jumps back in, all wealth and smiles.
"Risa, let's go somewhere special tonight. The moon is full, the night is young, and they're showing a open-air movie at the park. It'll be beautiful, and you need to take your mind off this whole thing with Hiwatari. I made a quick stop-off at his place on the way here and he's fine. His normal, cold, cruel self." With a light shrug, he finishes off the sentence, effectively stereotyping Satoshi to a T.
"I called him and he didn't pick up."
"Well, you know how he can be. The guy's not exactly sociable. And besides," He vaults gracefully inside the window, smiling a bit hesitantly, as if I've done something. "Do we have to talk about him all the time? Sometimes you act like he's more then a friend." He looks hurt and it makes me realize... it's my fault isn't it, for liking Satoshi more...
"No, it's not that! I just... have a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach that he's not okay." It sounds moronic even as I say it and I wish I could cram the words back into my mouth.
"Honey, it's fine. He's fine. And your stomach, well, that'll be fine later."
He just won't talk about Satoshi. Is Taro jealous? I wouldn't expect it from him, one of the top five bishonen of Azumano High, but perhaps he is. With Taro's arm encircling me as we head off to the open-air movie, I can't help wondering how Satoshi really is. Is he truly okay? But why would Taro lie if he isn't? I just don't get it...
(divider)
"Taro?" I ask after we sit down comfortably on a blanket he brought, waiting patiently for the credits to be over so the movie can begin. He turns, looking at me adoringly in the moonlight and smiles.
"Yes?"
I've been planning this question for at least five minutes now and it's still in the processing stage.
"I-about Satoshi, are you... jealous?"
He blinks in surprise, glancing around the crowd
"You want to talk about this here?" He asks softly, raising an eyebrow as if wondering about my choice of settings or my conversation starter. I nod. No one's going to hear this, they're all paying attention to the movie, and no one will see if anything happens. Not that anything will.
"It's just, you're always so awkward when Satoshi comes up in conversation, and you say you're all right with him even though I've seen the way you two glare at each other. Are you jealous, or is there something more?" Immediately after I say it, I spot the trickle of sweat running down the side of Taro's face. The next thing I hear is a lie.
"I'm absolutely fine with Hiwatari. We glare because that's the way we discuss, it's easier that way. He's jealous and lashing out at you because you're my girlfriend and not his."
"I've summarized that much. Now I want the truth." I'm going to go out on a limb and pray that I'm wrong. I so want to be wrong, but at the same time I want to be right.
"You went out with me to hurt Satoshi."
As if his nod is a knife, I can feel some of my heart shudder in response.
"Hikari's "Krad" killed my parents. It killed my dad directly, then my mom died of grief. Am I just supposed to leave the icy, inhuman child at that?! He took everything I had, and he never goes to jail? He could've fought it! I studied this, I know these DNA alter ego whatever people don't just appear on their own!" He looks over at me and there's no more false love lurking in his eyes. There's a flicker of sadness, like an iceberg, coated with a steaming lava of anger.
"I hate him!" The accusation is so fierce and full of emotion, his breathing becomes raggedy and he hesitates for a moment, eyes still fuming as he does.
"So I decided to hurt him." He whispers, tragically and yet angrily as his fingers tear distractedly at the grass. "I wanted to hurt him, take away what he loved. But he didn't love anything! Not anyone!" He gives me a sideways look out of the corner of his eye, almost regretting to explain this part.
"Then you appeared. You're something important to him. Actually, you're even more then just 'something important', you're what made Krad appear in the first place. Hiwatari's perfect, beautiful, sacred maiden. He smiled early when you went on your little vendetta of 'being his friend', crumpled easily in the face of your happy influence. His DNA reacted to you. You became to him what you once were to that Niwa kid."
I was... no--! Not Satoshi's--
"You were his purpose. His Sacred Maiden." Taro says softly. I feel my legs turn to pudding beneath me even as I'm sitting and I try to push myself backwards, find something to steady myself against this latest revelation.
"How do you--"
"I know. And you are STILL his most important thing, yet mine as well. The Hikaris are used to it by now; they've always had their treasures stolen. You see, now you're MY purpose--"
"Kiyahhhh!!"
A shriek cuts through whatever else Taro was going to say and diverts our attention to the screen. My first thought... is of Dark. The silhouette of an angel, huge feathery wings and longish, wind-tossed hair. But my second thought knows that it can only be Satoshi. Because even more than I want it to be Dark, I want it to be Satoshi, here to rescue me from Taro's vendetta against Krad, here to make things right... normal.
"Stay away from her." The shadow's wings, looming large over the both of us, dwarf the small form of Hiwatari that I know they grow from, HAVE to come from. His voice is unmistakable, even when choked with something I can't recognize. Almost as if Satoshi is drowning even as he speaks, in something that I could have sworn he'd never experienced.
But it amazes me that he's actually here. Here and ANGRY by his tone.
"S-Satoshi... what are you doing here?" I stutter like an idiot. His next 'glare' is another thing about him I've never experienced. For a full moment, his entire attention is on me and I... I...
...can see the faint traces that he's been crying. Even after that fact shocks me into muteness; his unwavering gaze holds discernable traces of needing, wanting me to want him to be there, even as his burning eyes shriek for me to stay far, far away from him. I never imagined his empty blue eyes could look so sad ...but commanding at the same time. Maybe he can't shield his face from this emotion, because he's never been in this position before.
If what Taro says is true, he's never been in the position where his Sacred Maiden has been snatched away.
"You should have played no part in this plot." Satoshi states in a monotone, abruptly straightening stiffly; as if that moment had never occurred, as if I hadn't just peered into his soul and found a note on the doorway asking for love. He turns to face Taro, still speaking to me.
"He was using you to get at me. My apologies Harada-san." He doesn't turn back once to look at me, steely eyes on Taro, but I can hear the real apology in his voice, verrrry subtle and sneaky.
Very Satoshi.
"It's still Risa." I can't help but mutter.
"So, you've come to the rescue Hikari. Terribly typical, isn't it?" Taro says; a smirk in his voice as he folds his arms.
"I don't know, or care, what you're talking about." Satoshi responds calmly, smooth and icy as usual, despite the fact he came racing in here a moment ago like a cross-country runner inches from the finish line; to rescue me from Taro.
"Oh, I think you do. Your expression gives a lot more away than you think it does. Once, you assigned a name to the sisters, you and that Niwa kid. You called them your "Sacred Maidens", didn't you? That's what she is to you. That's ALL she is to you!"
Satoshi is silent, just watching Taro. And I, as usual, seem to have no idea what's going on.
"Risa is your Sacred Maiden! That was your secret wasn't it? " Taro continues, green eyes glowing brightly with what he just yelled. People are staring at the yelling boy, the white-winged angel and the silent girl watching them both. I can feel my face starting to flame, even as Taro continues to yell, increasing in volume.
"But you stole too much from me... Krad stole the life of my father... and you are Krad! I'll steal the only thing you love, Krad Hikari!"
A visible shudder runs down Satoshi's body. A real, physical shudder that begins right after the words "You are Krad". I've never seen anyone really dealing with so much rage they actually shudder. But Satoshi's next words are the most icy I've ever heard him speak.
"I'm. Not. Him." He whispers, blue eyes boring bottomless holes into Taro's own angry ones. At the moment, I wouldn't be surprised to see electricity appear between them, like in an anime where two characters are glaring at each other. It's obvious Satoshi's fighting to control himself and Taro is anything but calm.
"Krad was sealed away with Dark. There is no more Krad and your revenge is pointless. It won't bring back your parents, only shame their memory. You would be smart to remember that. I am sorry for your loss, but your actions were wrong." His gaze turns into the color of the sea at midnight, a fuming, roiling sea.
"You stole something precious to me, and treated her as a prop in your game of revenge. She is not a toy to be given or stolen. She is not a piece of Hikari art and she's not my possession. This is the wrong way to 'hurt' me. It's a coward's way. Your father would be ashamed."
"NO!" Taro yells. "You block of ice! Don't you dare talk about my father! NEVER! I'm doing this all for him!" His voice is shattered, cracking and pain-filled as he backs up from the confrontation, looking as if he's about to cry. The tremors trace up Satoshi's spine again as he looks down at Taro.
"I'm sorry. But no one can have revenge on Krad." He says softly, but with that same warning undertone. Taro stares up and him and then just... passes out. Strangest thing I've ever seen, I can't imagine if it's exhaustion or what!
I move over to him quickly but he's completely out like a light.
Satoshi turns and I hear his quiet footsteps begin moving away from the two of us on the soft grass. People are still staring curiously, though some of them are turning back to the movie now that the interesting bit is over and the instigator of it all is leaving.
Wait a minute...
He's... leaving...
Before my mind can really kick in, I leap to my feet and yell out:
"SATOSHI HIWATARI, YOU GET BACK HERE AND HELP ME RIGHT NOW!"
That stops him in his tracks. I can almost hear the audience's heads all swiveling as one to look back at us. Satoshi blinks at me in apparent disbelief.
"What?"
I can only cover my mouth and try to pretend I'm perfectly calm and sedate.
"Mokuta-kun... we should take him somewhere else. I can't carry him on my own you know." I say softly, staring intently at the grass. A little ladybug is crawling arouind, somehow not having been squashed in all the commotion, and I watch it with interest as it makes it's way across several blades of grass in the dark.
"He wouldn't want my help. He wants to hurt Krad. He'd pull a knife on you if it would get him his revenge."
"No he wouldn't! Satoshi..." I bite my lip, looking up at him (away from the bug), and see him... blushing.
What did I--
The honorific! I guess I did forget... I blush as well, shaking my head quickly.
"Sa-Hiwatari-kun, even if Krad was the one who hurt his father... you can help him. As you've said before, you're not Krad..." I look back at the silent, but now crying and frustrated Taro. I can feel Satoshi's icy blue eyes on me.
"Do you... love him?" He asks softly.
It only takes me a few seconds to think about it. Do I...?
I love the way he makes me feel. I love his kisses. I love his attention. But do I love Taro himself?
No...
I shake my head mentally, clearing it of these strange thoughts, and I kneel beside Taro, supporting him as I force him to stand.
"Hiwatari-kun, it's selfish to be thinking of something like that when Taro needs help." I say without thinking. Satoshi stares at me and I can catch the faintest glimpse of pain and panic in his eyes, then his mask goes up again and nothing can be seen but apathy.
He takes Taro from me, one eyebrow lifting as he realizes there is only two ways of carrying Taro, one being bridal-style and the other being on his back. Satoshi sighs dramatically and hefts Taro onto his back.
It's all I can do not to laugh.
"That actually looks... funny, Hiwatari-kun."
"Wonderful. I'm so happy you're amused." He says dryly. Taro lapsed into sleep, having used a lot of pent-up energy, and everyone stopped watching the show a while ago, so it almost seems to be Satoshi and me, walking down the long hallway.
"I... haven't seen you in school the past couple weeks. Were you sick Satoshi-kun?" I ask, trying to make some kind of noise to fill the dead silence around us. He nods.
"In... a way."
I don't find it hard to believe. He's thinner, not that Satoshi was ever anything but slim, and his hair isn't combed. I smile faintly and reach up to try and brush it into place. Satoshi watches my hand in bemusement, smirking faintly.
His hair is silky. I'll never be sure how he got blue hair when everyone else I know has hair colors that actually make SENSE. Well, except Dark-san. Purple does NOT look natural.
Satisfied with my hair-fixing, I leave his hair alone, walking in silence with him again. He seems about to say something, a breath being taken just before he realized we've reached our apparent destination. He pushes open a metal gate and gently sets Taro down on the front porch. It must be Taro's home, because an elderly maid opens the door, accepts the sight of her master unconscious, lifts him with surprising strength, and disappears indoors. There's not a word said throughout the entire transaction.
Satoshi pivots on his heel to leave, my arm suddenly in his hand.
"We can leave now." He informs me emotionlessly. "The servants and his older sister will take care of him, and all he needs is sleep. And a new direction in life." He shrugs, heading over and pushing open the metal gate, holding it open for me. I walk through, coming to walk beside him, trying to look into his empty eyes. Come on Satoshi, you obviously don't hate me, and I'm not even going to verge trying to understand who Taro really was now so…
"Satoshi-kun, why did you come back to school if you were sick?"
"There was something I needed to say."
"What was it?"
He stops walking and I continue for a few steps before I realize he's not going to start again and I turn.
"Do you love Taro?" He asks, for the second time. But this time, I'll give him an answer.
"No."
"Do you love anyone?" He asks; his voice oddly soft. I smile, fighting to contain my rising energy. It's harder than anyone would think, not to smile when you're dying to, because I've figured this out now and Taro was right.
Satoshi DOES get insanely jealous.
"Well, it's kind of a secret" I say happily, batting my eyes. Ah, the little seductions I know… are pathetic, yes, but they get Satoshi to blush, something he quickly turns his head to avoid me seeing. But I know it's there.
"I love you." He says suddenly.
Oh.
Well.
That was sudden.
Does the world really work that way? One moment I've just broken up with someone who wasn't who I thought they were at all, and the next someone is in love with me? Someone I've… well, been a jerk to? For quite some time?
"I don't like boys with glasses!"
"Dark-sama... I love you..."
"Aw man, I have to sit next to Hiwatari. Daaang."
"Dark-sama"
"Would you go out with me?"
"Do you love anyone Dark-sama?"
Whirling, I press my lips to Satoshi's for a moment, just a peck really, and his face explodes in a blush. Silence abounds as I skip a bit ahead of him, taking mental inventory of my feelings. I can tell by kissing that Satoshi is different from Taro. That was light and fluffy, Satoshi and I could be something… much more.
I smile back at him.
"Let's give it some time. Let our relationship have purpose."
"Purpose again. You're really obsessed, aren't you?"
"Only when it's important. And I believe this is."
He smiles and it's like watching the first crack in a thick sheet of ice over a lake. Spring is coming, and I'm going to help it dawn.
The end.
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Ok, so I should've warned you it would be overly sappy. Oh well! None of you died... right? Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed and read this!!! You are all very nice and kind and wonderful to put up with writer's block, weird updating sprees, typos, strange storyline, ooc-ness, my own very strange writing style, and short chapters! It's people like you who keep fanfics and this pairing alive! XD
Edit: SORRY THAT TOOK SO LONG. Like almost two years long? Man, I almost couldn't bear to rewrite the last tiny bit of this chapter, my writing style has changed so dramatically. Thanks for trucking on through. Hope you've enjoyed this revision of chapters. I think it made it a lot better.
CrimsonEyedAngel99 aka Lisa