At lunch, Remy finds her and asks after Rachael.
"She left. She had some stuff to take care of in New York, so she can be free Saturday."
Remy nods and looks into her eyes.
"It was good," she says in reply to his silent question. "She came to class with me this morning. She said she understood why I liked it here. And that... I mean, Rae thinks New York is the center of the universe. She has a hard time understanding why anyone would want to live anywhere else. So. I think that's progress." She takes a bite of her sandwich, swallows, and adds, "And I'm pretty sure she doesn't think you're trying to brainwash me."
Remy grins. "Maybe I just brainwashed both of you."
She tilts her head to the side, considering. "Hmm. Well, some would say that this life is illusory anyway, so I might as well take a good illusion when I see one." She eats more grilled cheese as Remy ponders that. "I'm so glad I'm not lactose intolerant," she says, happily.
"Me too, because I don't know what the hell you'd eat otherwise."
"That was always the worst part about touring. No dairy."
"That's a silly rule."
She shakes her head ruefully. "The human voice is a fragile and finicky beast, and dairy is awful for it. Whenever I finished a tour leg, first thing I'd do would be get a cheese pizza. And maybe a joint."
"Well, cher, that sounds like a fine evening to Remy."
"I know all about your idea of a fine evening," she says, bursting with laughter. Logan glances over at them from the other end of the table and smirks. "God, what an eavesdropper," she says. "I guess I don't blame him. If my hearing were that good I would listen to everyone all the time."
Remy's wondered about that himself. He's sure their neighbor must get an earful of them most nights, but Logan's never said anything to him about it. Well, it's not like it's a secret that he and Nori are a couple, and Remy has a bit of an exhibitionist streak. He likes the sounds he can make Nori produce, and it doesn't bother him that Logan can hear-as long as it doesn't bother her.
Nori narrows her eyes the slightest bit. "What's on your mind, Remy?"
"You are," he says, with a broad grin. She gives him a complicated look. Remy's never known a woman who could so easily convey irritation, affection, and amusement with a single glance. "It's the truth," he says.
"And what were you thinking about me?"
His smile widens and he looks at her hungrily. "Maybe I shouldn't say... if other people are listening." She blushes a little and looks down at her empty plate. He loves that she still blushes.
"Well," she says, giving him a challenging look, "I'm going back to our room. Too bad you have class this afternoon..." He watches her leave for a few seconds, admiring her short polka-dotted dress, then quickly follows her.
"You know, class don't start for another fifteen minutes."
She smiles at him. "Then you'd better make them count." In their bedroom he makes two pleasant discoveries: first, that she hadn't been wearing any underwear beneath her dress; and second, that she'd been at least as aroused by their lunchtime banter as he'd been. They make good use of their time. After he pulls out of her, panting, and throws away the condom, she kisses him and whispers, "You need to be in the gym in 1 minute."
"The kids can warm up on their own," he says, leaning in to her slender neck.
She plants her palms into his chest and pushes him back. "No, love, go be a good example. I'll be here when you get back." He sighs melodramatically and she grins. "Go!" He grumbles something in French as he pulls on his track pants and tank top. "Have a good class," she calls, serenely.
After Remy runs down the hall to the elevator, she starts unpacking the backpack that Rachael had brought her. She's feeling sleepy and happy and she thinks this is probably the ideal time to look at whatever pieces of her past are in that pink bag. She pulls out a file folder with some mail and legal documents. A floral-print journal. Her laptop and external hard drive. A binder of CDs, which she flips through and realizes must represent the music Rachael thinks she's missed out on over the last two years. She had tried to catch up online, but somehow she'd missed the new Mountain Goats album. She looks at it and realizes they'd sent Rachael a pre-release copy and it isn't actually out yet. Excitedly, she opens her laptop, a worn silver MacBook Pro, and plays it while she looks through her bag.
She pulls out a packet of press clippings. She struggles to read them and resolves to spend more time practicing reading. She reaches in the bag again and pulls out a DVD, and the clippings make a bit more sense. She remembers giving Julie, a friend of a friend, permission to make a documentary about her. She remembers her following her around on tour, and giving little talking head interviews in her apartment. But after she'd disappeared, it never occurred to her that the documentary would be finished. She examines the case and sets it aside. She doesn't think she has the emotional stamina to watch it alone.
She turns to her laptop, pauses the Mountain Goats, and starts up GarageBand, digging through her old projects. She lays on her stomach, puts in her headphones and is pasting loops when Remy returns, sweaty and tired from training with the students.
He ruffles her hair and she turns sharply and takes out her headphones, relaxing when she sees that it's him. "Hey, cher, whatcha working on?" he says.
"Song," she says. "How was class?"
Remy almost makes a joke, but he senses the mood that's settled over Nori. "Good," he says. "The kids are quick learners."
She nods, then sighs. "Remy, look at all this stuff Rae brought. I... it's hard. To read it." For the first time he takes in the stacks of stuff surrounding Nori and her laptop. He'd be amused by the irony that he's become the literate one in their relationship, if it weren't sad.
"Well, let's take a look," he says. He picks up the DVD first. "Hey, cherie, you're a movie star!" He loves the photo of her on the cover, she's on stage and playing her guitar and looking fierce and alive. He skims a small stack of articles. "Looks like people liked it."
"Hmm. Well, Rae would only give me the positive reviews."
"There are a lot of them. You want to watch it?"
"I guess so..." she says, uncertainly.
"Don't have to if you don't want to."
She cups her chin in her hands and gazes up at him. "You go shower. I'll think about it."
He nods and unselfconsciously shucks off his sweaty workout gear. She smiles, then shoves her papers back in the backpack. She to messing around with her audio clips. Later, Remy emerges from the shower clean and smelling of black tea and cloves, a cologne she'd picked out for him. She adores it, and Remy knows it. He drapes himself next to her on the bed, and she inhales deeply. "Mm, go get dressed. Don't drip on my laptop."
He obliges, then comes back to peer over her shoulder. "What exactly are you doing, cherie?"
"Ah, just messing around with some sound files. I recorded them, you know, before, and I'm just experimenting with how to mix them. So, like, this line is the violin part, and I can put an effect on it or loop it or whatever. But I only learned how to use this software kind of recently... relatively speaking... so I like to just play around with it and see what I can do."
He kisses her cheek. "Looks complicated."
"Not really. Well, kind of." She clicks a few more times and plays her track back. She's lost in her work, and he watches her for a few minutes, admiring her intensity, then peels himself up to get dressed. He lies next to her and nuzzles her neck. She makes a small content sound, but stays focused. Then she sighs and flips the laptop shut. "Well, hell, it's not like I have a deadline, is it?" She rolls over and kisses him. They kiss for a few minutes, but it becomes clear to Remy that her mind is elsewhere, and he pulls away and looks into her eyes. She looks away. "Sorry, Remy. It's just..."
"You don't have to explain y'self, cher."
"Do you miss your life? Before?"
He considers. "Sometimes. Miss the warm weather, for sure. Miss the schedule. But I didn't... didn't really have a purpose. Besides hating Stryker. You did."
"Yeah." He strokes her hair, and she continues, "I shouldn't be such a baby. I do like it here. And I have such a great boyfriend," she says, smiling at him. "But... well, whatever. I can't change it, so I need to accept it. This is my life now." She sits up. "Let's go watch that damn documentary so I can move on. Okay?"
"'Course."
She strokes his hair into place and gives him a wide smile. She takes his hand as they walk down to the living room. Some of the students are in there watching Simpsons re-runs. She and Remy settle down into an overstuffed armchair. They're both slim-hipped enough that they can sit side by side-Nori thinks it's unseemly for her to sit on his lap when the kids are around, though Remy could care less. The kids turn and smile, and Nori waves and says, "Hey, guys."
"D'you mind if we put in a movie after this is over?" Remy asks.
"What movie?" asks Jubilee.
Nori blushes a little and Remy holds up the case. "It's some documentary a friend of a friend made about me. Rae left a copy and I just... I'm kinda curious," she says.
"Let's put it in now," Rogue says. "We've all seen this one before. It's the one where they build a monorail."
"Well... if you're sure," Nori says. The kids nod and Remy wedges himself out of their chair and puts the DVD in. Bobby changes the TV input and hits play, and Remy returns to wrap a supportive arm around Nori.
The film opens with shaky footage of a tiny Nori playing violin onstage. It's replaced by her in a high school uniform, then a college recital. Finally, it shows Nori wearing tall black boots and playing guitar on stage in front of an excited crowd, who sing along with her:
They ask me if I'm a patriot
But the fact is, well, I'm not
I'll love my country, baby,
The day it loves me back
We'll love our country, baby
The day it loves us back
After the song, Nori looks around and stage-whispers into the microphone, "Ever since the Patriot Act, every time I play that song, I'm afraid I'm gonna get arrested!"
Then it cuts to footage of Nori getting arrested at a protest, and the narrator explains about the annual protest at the School of Americas in Georgia, and how some protesters deliberately choose to get arrested every year. There's footage from an interview Nori gave from prison, where she calmly explains, "The School of the Americas is evil. It is unconscionable that my tax dollars pay to support murderous dictators. I'd rather my tax dollars went to support education for prison inmates." Later in the interview she jokes that all her idols had spent time in prison: "Martin Luther King, Johnny Cash, Joan Baez, even Courtney Love. So I guess I'm on the right track."
The kids are all shocked, and even Remy is surprised.
"You were in jail, Miss Oyama?" Jubilee asks.
"Well, a little bit," she says, lightly. The documentary shows Nori's history of protesting, but it also showcases her technical skill, showing her in the studio and on stage. It also has interviews with a lot of Nori's friends, who speak about her musicianship and kindness. Nori turns her face into Remy's shoulder. They stop the documentary an hour in to go to dinner.
"Miss Oyama, I didn't know you did so much stuff," Kitty says, enthusiastically.
"Um, thanks, Kitty," Nori says. She has her shield up, which Remy knows is a clear sign she's upset. He takes her hand as they walk to dinner. The kids chatter enthusiastically about how cool Nori used to be. She's quiet throughout dinner, and Remy chatters aimlessly to try to cheer her up. The other teachers notice that something is up and they look inquiringly at the couple. Finally, Logan asks, "Everything all right, darlin'?" Nori shrugs and says, "Rae brought me a copy of a documentary that got made about me after, um, I disappeared. We were watching it before dinner and it's just... hard."
Logan frowns. "What are they saying about you?"
"Nothing bad, not so far at least. It's just..."
"You used to be a rock star, and now you're a high school music teacher," Scott supplies.
Nori looks down at her plate miserably. "Well, yeah, basically," she says softly.
"I didn't know you were so unhappy here," Ororo says.
"Oh, no, no, I'm not. I mean usually. I mean it's just... sometimes I miss it. My last life. But I do like it here. I do. Of course I do." She smiles, though it doesn't reach her eyes. "Especially when there's cake at dinner," she adds, taking a bite.
The topic of conversations drifts to the day's news. California was trying to pass a bill to allow for mutant-only public schools, which made everyone nervous.
"It sounds like a good idea at first," Scott says. "But soon it'll be Jim Crow laws all over again."
Everyone agrees, and is uneasy. "Magneto's probably going to attack the California Senate," Nori says, moodily. She's eaten half a slice of cake and is carefully mashing the other half with her fork.
"Have you spoken with him?" Scott asks, sharply.
"Of course not," Nori says. "I just assume that's what he'll do. That or go after the construction site when they start building the school."
Remy nods. "Probably the school, if I had to guess," he says. This puts something of a damper on the rest of dinner, and no one is in a great mood when they take their dishes back to the kitchen.
But Rogue comes up and says, "Miss Oyama, let's finish watching your movie now," and Nori smiles gently and says, "Of course."
The rest of the school's teachers crowd into the school's large living room for the second of half of the film, which focuses more on life after Nori's disappearance. It's full of sad remembrances and conspiracy theories. Finally, it ends with a few live performances. Remy adores watching his girl on stage. She looks so comfortable there. It's a little hard for him to reconcile the Nori who performs for hundreds of fans and stares down the police at anti-war protests with the one sitting by his side, the one who jumps at broken plates and still wakes up in the middle of the night whimpering about William Stryker at least once a week. Watching the movie makes him realize, for the first time, just what's been done to Nori, and he hates it.
The kids seem oblivious; they're thrilled about the minor music celebrities who turn up in the documentary. After the movie Rogue asks Nori to play a song, and she just shakes her head and says, "Sorry... not tonight. Maybe tomorrow." Then she says goodnight and scurries out of the living room like a scared mouse. Remy trails behind her, nodding goodnight as he leaves the room. He catches up with her and wraps his arm around her shoulders.
"Let's go outside, cher," he says. She comes along without protest, and he walks her far out into the garden, almost to the woods. "Okay," he says. "Now let down your shield."
"What?"
"Let it down. You need to let out your power. Come on, Remy can take it."
She laughs a little, then turns into his chest and wraps her arms around his neck. Slowly, she takes down her mental shield, and he's overwhelmed by the strength of her sorrow and guilt and anxiety. His knees actually buckle from the force of it, but he quickly straightens his knees and tightens his grip on her. "Shh, you're okay," he says, gently. She's sobbing, now, but her projection is already calmer. Lightly, he runs his hands up and down her hair and shoulders.
"It's so selfish," she sobs. "I'm so selfish."
"You're not selfish, cher. It's normal you'd miss your old life, 'specially seein' it played out in front of you like that." She says nothing, and he continues his gentle caresses. "You're... you're not always this unhappy, are you?"
"No," she murmurs. "No. Love you."
"Love you too, cherie, but... tell me, are you so sad here? Do you want to run? I'll run with you, anywhere."
"No. No, here is good. I just..." She's taking deep breaths and calming down. "Guess I just needed to get that out," she sniffs. "Thanks, Remy."
"Any time, ma mie." He holds her until her breathing returns to normal. "You want to go inside?"
"No... can we stay out here? For a little while?"
"'Course." She sits down on the grass and leans back on her elbows, and he follows her lead.
"You can see so many stars here," she says, peacefully. "Do you know any constellations?"
"Can't say as I do," he says. He'd always spent as many nights as possible indoors. And even the nights when he'd slept on the streets, well, it was hard to see too many stars against the bright lights of New Orleans.
"Me, neither. Look, those ones kind of look like a teapot."
He kisses her forehead and says, "Look, a gator."
"Your eyes are so beautiful in the dark," she says, twisting to stare into his face.
"And they're not in the daytime?" he asks, with a pout that earns him a wave of fabulously irritated fondness from Nori's empathy.
"Always fishing for a compliment, you are."
"Non, non. Just want to make sure I understand you, is all," he says, innocently.
She nudges him, gently. "Your eyes are always beautiful, Remy, but especially in the dark. Especially right now. Okay?"
"Why, thank you, cher. Awful nice of you to say."
She laughs and rests her head in his lap. "You're lucky I'm used to dating artists. They make you seem ego-free by comparison."
"I'm lucky for a lot of reasons, ma mie." She sighs and sends him another wave of exasperated fondness. He smiles and strokes her hair. They sit like that for a long time, until Remy realizes that Nori's fallen asleep in his lap. She looks peaceful, and he gazes down at her serene face for a long moment. He tries to carefully slip her head off his lap, intending to carry her back inside, but she wakes up and looks at him.
"C'mon, cher, let's go inside."
"Okay," she murmurs. Her projections are sleepy and sweet, and she wraps her arm around his waist as they walk back through the garden. Remy thinks back to his years of taking anyone who flirted with him home from the bar. He doesn't regret those years, not at all, but he never remembers feeling so content. He's clearly gotten soft with age, but he's not complaining. When they get back to their room, Nori peels off her dress and bra and pulls on her shorts and tank top. She curls into a fetal position and Remy nestles next to her.