Title: Half Life - 13/?
Author: Elise/Ringred
Date: 4/16/2007
Rating: M or R for violence
Category: AU, Angst, Drama, possibly with some humor mixed in.
Warnings: Angst, Language, Violence
Spoilers: Anything that's been aired in the US. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!
Pairing: Most likely Lee/Kara, but not anytime soon. Lee/Dee are still married. Sam/Jean are also married (or think they are). Helo/Athena are still married. Hints of Roslin/Adama.
Word Count: Microsoft Word says…
Disclaimers: Alas, I own nothing...but we all have our dreams.
Summary: Starbuck died tragically over five years ago. The Fleet mourned and moved on with their lives. What happens when the lost daughter is returned to the Fleet? Will she ever find herself again? Is there anywhere she belongs?

Notes: Okay, I got this chapter up fairly quickly and it's a long one. I hope you enjoy it. It was hard as hell to write (I read back over it about fifty times), but I think I'm almost satisfied with it. I'm never completely satisfied, but when I finished writing this one I was smiling. I can't wait to hear your opinions! Feedback is, as always, extremely welcome. PLEASE let me know what you think.

Here goes…

Chapter Thirteen

Lee knocked loudly on the hatch before reaching down to open it. He carefully balanced the tray of food on one hand as he maneuvered his way through the doorway and closed it behind him. His eyes scanned the room and settled on Kara. A smile tugged at his lips. The blonde spitfire was sprawled out on her bunk shuffling a deck of triad cards. "I guess that explains how Athena got out of here in one piece…good old-fashioned bribery."

Kara snorted, but didn't change positions. She continued shuffling the cards and tapping her foot on the side of the bunk.

Lee wondered if she'd noticed he was late. His fight with Dee had not been totally unexpected, but Lee would've preferred it come at a more convenient time. Dr. West said Kara needed stability. It bothered Lee to know he wasn't there when he'd told Kara he would be.

Walking over to deposit the tray full of food on Kara's table, Lee rolled his eyes at his own absurdity. Kara had never been the stickler for punctuality he was. He'd lost count of the number of briefings she'd stumbled into late over the years. If she deemed him worthy of speaking to, Kara would probably tell him to stop brooding and pull the stick out of his ass.

Lee grinned. He could practically hear Kara's voice in his head saying just that. Still, he felt the need to apologize. "I'm sorry I'm late, Kara," he told her sincerely.

As expected, Lee received no reply. He turned away briefly to hide his disappointment. Would he ever hear that maddening, infuriatingly wonderful voice again? He was so glad to have Kara back, so thankful to have another chance to make things right, but the knowledge of what he'd lost was like a physical ache in his chest. What wouldn't Lee give to have her throw him one of her cocky Starbuck smirks and a mocking one-liner?

The sound of shuffling pulled Lee from his thoughts. He turned back to face Kara and noticed she'd climbed to her feet. Her expression was troubled, guilty, and she was staring at the floor directly in front of him.

Lee frowned. He had to gain better control over his emotions. The last thing he wanted to do was burden Kara.

Suddenly Lee noticed her eyes flicker to his chest and back to the floor. She frowned and her expression darkened further. Then she did it again. Lee looked down and froze. Without even realizing it, he'd lifted a hand and started rubbing his chest. It was one of his tells, an obvious gesture of emotional pain. Kara had pointed it out to Lee years ago while comparing him and his father. She'd smiled sadly at him and asked if he thought he had an open heart scar too. Lee's reply at the time had been a bitter look and a yes. He could still remember the pain in Kara's eyes as she'd made a hasty exit from his office.

Lee immediately dropped his hand. He didn't want to cause Kara anymore pain. He didn't want to bring up bad memories or cry about the past. He wanted to build a future. He was determined to build a new relationship with Kara, one that would last.

Ignoring the tension in the air, Lee forced a smile and motioned toward the tray. "I come bearing algae." His expression turned thoughtful as he examined the food. "I think they're calling it meatloaf today. Gods help us."

Kara threw an exaggerated grimace toward the food. She took her time, stretching her arms over her head and giving a silent yawn as she made her way toward the table.

This time Lee's grin wasn't forced. "I think you might be getting out shape if crossing the room takes this much effort, Kara."

Kara held up her hand and looked at it. She bent her fingers into a decidedly crude gesture and smiled sweetly.

A laugh escaped Lee's throat. "I just meant we might need to resurrect our morning runs, you pain in the ass."

Kara dropped her hand. Her smile widened and turned genuine.

Lee matched it with one of his own. The thought of being able to run side by side with Kara again every morning made his heart beat faster. Damn, but he missed their old routines. "I'll talk to Dr. West, but one of the objectives on her latest 'Operation: Fix Starbuck' list was for you to start getting out of these quarters. I'm sure she'll give us the okay."

Lee casually pulled out his chair and sat down. He waited for Kara to follow suit. He knew without looking that she was frowning over his mention of her treatment. She always frowned when he mentioned her treatment. But Lee was determined to face this head on. Kara needed help. She was getting help. She would get better. End of story. Lee wasn't going to pretend everything was okay and she was the same person she'd always been. That was Helo's game, not Lee's. Lee wanted them both to face reality. He wasn't about to start building walls between them again.

When Lee heard Kara's chair scrap the floor, he mentally sighed with relief. He was making progress. Slowly but surely, Kara was opening up to him. He just had to control his emotions and be patient. Lee knew he couldn't afford to frak this up.

Lee was just starting to move the plates of food off the tray when another knock sounded from the hatch. He frowned and reluctantly climbed to his feet to answer it. Lee found his father and Dr. West waiting outside the door. "Is there a problem?"

Admiral Adama's eyes narrowed on his son. Lee's irritation at their interruption was obvious. "We need to speak with you, Major."

Lee sighed. It was never a good sign when he was off duty and his father reverted to using rank anyway. "Can it wait? We were just about to eat."

"It can't wait," Admiral Adama's answer was short and terse.

Dr. West eyed father and son with amusement. "Step into the hall and we can discuss it here," she told the Major, "then you can resume your meal after we've finished."

Lee threw one last reluctant look toward Kara. She was twirling a fork through her fingers impatiently, but there was nothing to be done for it. "I'll be right back, Kara." With a jerk, Kara stabbed the fork into a piece of algae-loaf. Lee frowned. He didn't want to think too hard on Kara's fork-fascination.

Pulling the hatch closed behind him, Lee turned to face his father and Dr. West. "What's this about? What did I do wrong?"

The Admiral looked uncomfortable. "Why would you ask that?"

Lee's eyebrows shot up. "You're interrupting my dinner with Kara and you're having Dr. West stand in on our conversation. What did I do wrong?"

"Nothing," Laney jumped in to reassure him. She lifted her hands in a sign for peace. "It's not technically anything you've done wrong, Major Adama. Your father simply has some concerns regarding your recent behavior and how it might be affecting the people around you."

Lee's lips drew into a hard line and his eyes darkened with emotion. Suddenly his father's uncomfortable stance made sense. "I assume by people you mean my wife." He crossed his arms over his chest and glared at his father. "Do you really believe you're in any position to criticize my behavior in regards to my wife?"

The Admiral sighed and shook his head. "I'm not criticizing your behavior, Lee, and I have no desire to become involved in your marital affairs."

"Then why are we having this conversation?"

The Admiral straightened his stance. He rested his hands on his waist. "I received a report that yelling was heard outside your quarters earlier today." When Lee started to speak the Admiral waved him off. "This was only the latest incident of concern, Lee. Your wife is becoming increasingly agitated by the amount of time you dedicate to Kara each day. It's beginning to affect her work and become a distraction to others."

Lee gritted his teeth. "What other incidents of concern are we talking about?"

Laney smiled sympathetically. "Lieutenant Adama has begun to request permission to be added to Kara's visitation list."

Lee felt his jaw go slack. "She what?"

"I believe she wishes to assess Kara's condition for herself," Laney continued, "but as I'm sure you understand, that is not the purpose of Kara's visitors. Kara's quarters are her safe haven. It is very important she feel comfortable and secure in her quarters. We can't risk destroying that safe haven."

Lee forced himself to take slow deep breaths. He clenched his hands into fists. "I completely understand, Dr. West. I will speak with my wife."

Admiral Adama sighed. "Lee, don't be too hard on Dee. This can't be an easy situation for her. She sees Kara as a threat to her marriage. She's only trying to protect herself."

"I understand that, Dad," Lee said. "Dee and I discussed the situation this afternoon. I hope our conversation will have resolved this issue already, but I'll speak with her again nonetheless."

"Good," Laney smiled at both father and son, "then that's settled." She focused on the Admiral. "If that will be all?"

"Of course," the Admiral answered.

"Actually," Lee stopped her; "I wanted to speak to you about something myself."

Laney lifted an inquiring brow. "Yes, Major?"

Lee threw a hesitant look toward his father before speaking. "I'd like to begin taking Kara on morning runs if you feel she's up to it." At Dr. West's curious look, Lee explained. "It was one of our old rituals. I mentioned it earlier to Kara and I think she might be receptive to the idea."

Laney bit her lip thoughtfully. She reached up to tap her finger on her chin. Finally she nodded. "That might actually work, Major. If Kara would be willing to join you on these runs, it might be a good start to her branching out of her quarters. You can keep your route to the restricted pathways on this level to begin with and if all goes well, we can progress from there."

Lee grinned as excitement pumped through his veins. "Great." He couldn't wait to tell Kara.

Laney smiled at his enthusiastic response. "I've also noticed a marked increase in Kara's responses to you, Major. Whatever you're doing, it seems to be working. Keep it up." She bid both father and son goodbye before turning to leave.

The Admiral watched her go before looking to his son. "Lee, I want you to consider giving up one of your dinner days with Kara."

Lee's response was automatic. "No."

The Admiral pushed on. "I've already spoken with Saul, Lee. He's volunteered to eat with Kara on Wednesdays as well as his normal Saturdays."

"I won't do it, Dad."

The Admiral could hear the steel in Lee's voice. "Son…"

"No," Lee forced. "It's not an option." He locked his jaw and stared into his father's concerned eyes. "I understand that you're only trying to help and that you think this is what's best for me but you're wrong. I won't let you start limiting my time with Kara unless Dr. West advises it. Kara is important to me and that is not going to change. Dee will either accept it or my marriage is over."

Lee turned back toward the hatch to Kara's quarters and took a deep breath. "So, Dad, you can either tell the Colonel thanks but no thanks or we can start eating on Wednesdays as a trio. It's up to you." He reached for the handle and only paused when he heard his father call his name. "Yes?" Lee looked back over his shoulder.

The Admiral's expression was resigned and very serious. "Do you know what you're doing, Son? Are you prepared to face the consequences of your actions?"

Lee's eyes darkened with old grief and his smile was bitter. "I'm not prepared to ever lose Kara again, Dad. Anything else, I can handle."

The Admiral watched Lee step back through the hatch into Kara's quarters. He sighed and finally accepted that Dr. West was right. His son was in love with Kara. It left an uneasy feeling inside the Admiral's chest. There were so many complications, so many obstacles in the path before them. After everything they'd been through, the Admiral could only hope that somehow his two children would find their way to happiness. They certainly deserved it.

- - - - - - - - - -

Stepping back through the hatch, Lee fully expected to see an empty plate sitting in front of an empty chair on Kara's side of the table. Her time in captivity might have altered many things about Kara, but it hadn't improved her patience.

Lee was in for a surprise. Kara's plate was still full and resting on the tray beside his. Her fork was still lodged inside the algae-loaf with its handle pointing off at a jaunty angle.

Kara was still seated in her chair, but had apparently passed the time by playing a one-person card game. Lee made a mental note to thank Helo later for giving Kara those cards.

"Sorry about that," Lee told Kara as he stepped forward to retake his seat, "Dad's being concerned and infuriating as usual."

Lee was surprised again as Kara sat aside the cards and started moving the plates of food off the tray and onto the table. She sat Lee's untouched plate and glass in front of him and did the same with her own.

Not wanting to spook her, Lee slowly reached for his silverware and turned his attention to his food. He tried to act like everything was normal. Lee spent the next ten minutes eating and talking between bites about anything and everything. It wasn't until he'd finished almost his entire meal that he realized Kara wasn't eating with him. He finally looked up from his plate and directly into Kara's eyes…those beautiful deep green eyes.

Lee's heart stopped.

Then Kara spoke. "I'm sorry about Dee," she said softly. "I don't want to cause you problems."

All the blood rushed to Lee's head. A huge smile split his face and he reached for Kara's hands without thinking. Kara flinched and jerked them out of reach. It snapped Lee from his euphoric daze but nothing could wipe away his smile.

Lee held his hands up in surrender. "Sorry…I forgot…no touching…my bad." Kara eyes were still wary, but they didn't falter from Lee's. A laugh of pure joy escaped Lee's throat. He had to force himself to take deep breaths so he wouldn't hyperventilate. "I promise, Kara," his voice was giddy, "no more touching, but don't you dare take away those gorgeous eyes."

Kara smirked. Her eyes twinkled.

Lee could barely make himself sit still. It was worth it. All the waiting and the fighting and the heartache of the last few months, all the visits where she stared off into space and he forced smiles and fought tears, it was all worth it just to stare straight into those gorgeous green eyes. He'd do it all over again, start all over again, just to hear that achingly familiar voice. Kara was worth it.

After a few minutes of his staring, Kara blushed and looked down. She rolled her eyes and turned her attention to her food. For a moment, Lee's heart contracted in pain and he wanted to panic. But then she looked back up from her plate and threw him an annoyed expression. It clearly read 'say something, you dumbass!'

And so he did. His face aching from smiling so hard, Lee started to talk. "I asked Dr. West about our morning runs, Kara, and I hope you hit your rack early because I'm dragging your lazy ass out of bed at 0500 tomorrow."

Kara looked up and snorted as she chewed up a piece of algae-loaf. She stuck her tongue out at him before she swallowed.

Lee laughed and grimaced at the same time. "That's what I've always loved about you, Kara. You're so dignified and lady-like."

Kara shot him another crude gesture with one hand while she speared a piece of algae with the other. She twirled the fork through her fingers before yanking the algae off with her teeth and into her mouth. The sounds of her chomping echoed through the room. She was rude, arrogant, and completely unapologetic. Lee wouldn't have her any other way.

End of Chapter