Hi all, so yeah I'm not dead and I haven't ditched the story yet, jaja. Joking, I'm really grateful for everybody's who's reviewed and alerted, seriously, you people make my day!

Cyber biscuit winners: FelicityT, the money was fake… such a good answer! (I seriously think someone else won one but my faulty memory, due to fact I smacked my pretty little head on the concrete this morning, joking, I think I forgot, if you won a cyber biscuit and I forgot, plz tell me… I feel really bad).

Oh and… the philosophical question, well it had no real answer, it was just a creativity exercise I got in a class, lol, and I was intrigued to find out what other people thought.

Now… ON WITH THE DRAMA!

Hi, My Name Is… Who?

Carlisle POV

"Hi my name is…"

"What?"

"My name is…"

"Who?"

"My name is," Emmett made a scratching noise with an old Cd. "Slim Shady."

Alice played with the DJ board she'd recently bought while Emmett continued singing. They were both dressed like rappers, their Ed Hardy and Juicy Couture outfits complemented the Nike baseballs hats they wore. The theme was Eminem, though I still hadn't figured why they where rapping in the first place.

"Hi kids, do you like violence?" Emmett sang.

"Ya, ya, ya!" Alice replied.

"Want to see me stick nine inch nails threw each one of my eye lids?"

"Uh huh!"

I finally turned to look at Irene and I immediately understood the reason for the new fetish. Her face was contorted to an expression I couldn't make out as anything but offended and disgusted. I sighed, while the singing was perfect, the performance worthy of and Mtv award, the offending reason wasn't something they could get away with.

I debated both sides of the argument in my mind as I stared at Irene who's face continued to change colours (from green to red and back again). Her new black denim's from Gap finally did justice to her figure, and the red Channel blouse took ten years off her. Alice and Rose had done a magnificent job on her and I think on some level she finally understood their passion for clothes. This on the other hand… I wasn't so sure.

"Come here slut,
Shady wait a minute that's my girl, dog
I don't give a fuck
God sent me to piss the world off."

Why couldn't they sing the clean version? I was sure iTunes sold that version of the song, because God were they pissing people off.

"All my life I was very deprived,
I ain't had a woman in years, and my palms are too hairy to hide,"

"Whoops!" Alice said she was apparently the one in charge of sound effects.

"Clothes ripped like the Incredible Hulk."

"Hachhh-too"

"I spit when I talk, I'll fuck anything that walks."

"C'mere."

Rose sat on the base of the stairs and smirked in an all too knowing way. I sighed again, Irene hadn't missed the exchange, for all I knew she probably had child service protection on speed dial by now, or by the look on her face the Pope was a more likely guess.

"Hi my name is…"

"What?"

"My name is…"

"Who?"

"My name is," Emmett made the scratching noise again before finally ending the song. "Slim Shady."

Everybody started clapping, well, everybody but Irene and me.

"Too stunned to even talk, huh, Pops." Emmett teased with his patented goofy grin; I was too preoccupied with Irene's reaction to even be annoyed by the nickname.

"I'll go with that, I suppose." I finally answered, Jasper's expression was amused and Edward held his usual smirk.

Irene stood up as if her body finally caught up with her brain and walked out of the room muttering under her breath. All six teenagers finally burst out laughing, which I supposed was their ultimate purpose.

"Okay, that was so worth $5634.98 in props." Alice spluttered. "Anyone want to sing another one? I can turn these speakers high enough that people in the next state can hear us."

"Guys, really, could you all be a tad bit more sensible?" I asked them looking around. They stopped laughing for a few moments as if they were actually considering it.

"Hey, how do you want me to edit the song?" Bob asked not bothering to look away from his computer. Everybody turned to look at him, their eyes wide with excitement. Great… sensibility was out of the window.

"What program are you using?"

"Do you need to re-shoot it so we can get a better light?"

"I've got a program on my Mac that can alter that faster…"

Well at least this would entertain them for a while. Edward turned to look at me with a mischievous smile. "Why don't we do this more often?"

Alice started clapping enthusiastically. "Why don't we do the whole Recovery album?"

"Because that would be infringing copy write?" I suggested already knowing it was a lost cause – Alice was back on the board and Rose was reading the lyrics.

"I want to be Rihanna!" She yelled.

"That means you're P!nk, Bella." Alice said.

"Hey, that's so unfair; you so sound more like her."

"But I'm Dr. Dre, Bells." She said slowly, her eyes were wide as she nodded slowly. I suddenly and quickly pulled my blackberry out and took a photo of her. "Give me that phone!" She yelled.

"Nope, Esme has got to see you in a Nike hat that says "Just Do It" in bright purple." I teased just as she pouted.

"A) It's not purple, it's LA-VAN-DER. B) This is so unfair! Why can't you people plan these attacks?" Alice yelled in frustration.

"Because that would defeat the purpose, wouldn't it?" I replied calmly. Everybody in the room, including Bob, wore the same amused expression.

"Fine, but I will have my revenge." She warned but immediately dropped her stance when I raised my eyebrow. "They're going to page you in approximately forty three seconds." She muttered and continued playing with the board wearing the same adorable pout. I went for my jacket and noticed it was replaced by an awkward jumper.

"Alice, where's my coat?" I asked patiently, this was one of those discussions that even after a hundred years we couldn't settle.

"Oh, in some charity." She replied as she quickly swapped cds.

"Should I even bother asking why?" I asked but the only reply I got was a fit of giggles.

"Oh Daddy, don't you realize the winter season has just started and that jacket would no longer do? So instead I got you this chunky, luxurious and totally irresistible knitwear that by the way is called a Frank cardigan. You should really check the Tommy Hilfiger site a bit more often, Daddy."

"Whatever makes you happy." I muttered just as the familiar sound of my pager went off. I put my 'Chunky, luxurious and totally irresistible knitwear' just as they started singing Guilty Conscience. "Why can't you just get along with Irene and sing stuff from Glee instead?"

"Where's the fun in that?" Emmett asked. "And however awesome that show is, nothing about it could piss her off. Now hit it, sis! Meet Eddie, twenty-three years old. Fed up with life and the way things are going."

I rolled my eyes, once again acknowledging it was a lost cause. Well at least it was Friday, only ten days to go…

So yeah, short update, the Hillywood parody really gave me the boost to remind me how awesome Twilight is (I was kinda forgetting, yikes!) Am I the only won who has momentary lapses of Alzheimer's?

R&R!