Sorry again for the lengthy wait, but it may have to be a chapter every week or two in future. On holiday next week and off tofresher's week and uni the week after so everything is a bit hectic. Thanks for everyone who is still reading.
It felt as though she was stepping back in time as she left the Tardis and returned to her cell. Only a few hours had passed since River had left, and a dim morning light was seeping in through the small barred window. The room seemed cold, and the stagnant smell of blood was still faintly lingering.
Having sealed herself in, River closed her eyes and took slow deep breaths. It wasn't easy to be back here, but she wasn't going to let it beat her. As she tried to stay calm she could feel the rough skin of Baines' fingers coiling around her neck, her throat constricting and the words of protest dying before they could reach her lips… But when she opened her eyes he wasn't there. The cell was empty, silent, and she was alone; and for now that was enough for her to hold on to.
The Doctor had tried several times to beg her not to go. It would have been so easy just to give into him, to stay another day or week or month and run away from the past; but River knew that she couldn't. She had to return to this room and relive every moment of that night in her head because otherwise she could never face the fear it instilled within her, and she would have to live with it forever.
River folded the papers and tucked them into the pocket of her dress, feeling the comforting weight of it against her leg as she paced. It was a lifeline, just for now if not forever but that was enough. There were things yet to face, Baines being one of them, but battling Stormcage was an easy hurdle to overcome and after today it would not be looming over her like everything else adding to her worries.
She knew that the Doctor would not have let her come had she not promised that Baines would be nowhere in sight. River knew beyond a doubt that he would not show his face throughout the trial; his message had been a goodbye 'gift', and he didn't need to draw attention to himself on such a public stage. Somehow knowing this didn't make River feel any better. He had the ability to entice fear from within her without even needing to be in the room.
The minutes seemed to be crawling by like hours, each more painfully slow than the last. She eventually gave up and sat on the floor, unable to face the bed at the other side of the room. Even looking at the simple cream sheets made her stomach twist painfully; that was one thing River knew she would never divulge to the Doctor. She trusted him completely, with her life and her heart and everything that mattered most to her, but she knew that it would kill him to know everything. He would never look at her the same way again, and so for both their sakes River decided to keep one more secret.
It was sad when she thought back on it. For a while she had been comfortable, in a sort of routine where the Doctor would dance in and out of her life often enough to keep her happy and she was allowed to pursue her own academic interests in prison. Before that day in Utah River's life by her own admittance had been a mess.
There were parts she couldn't remember, some she didn't want to, and many parts she was ashamed of despite the fact that she had little control over he own actions. The Doctor had forgiven her a long time ago and never even thought of those days she was sure, but it was harder for her to forget.
Of her early childhood River only remembered faint screams, the astronaut suit and always waking up afraid. At some point she had been brainwashed, but most of that was gone now. She knew some of the things she had done, including and preceding Berlin, but really her life had begun when the Doctor whispered those little words in her ear.
Everything after that had been happy, if a little dysfunctional. River had met her parents again, got to know them, and spent half a lifetime with the Doctor exploring the universe; what was better than that? She should have known that all good things had to come to an end in time. Why like this?
Looking in the mirror River could hardly recognise herself. She was drawn, the fear plain to see in her eyes despite her strong demeanour, and every word that slipped from her mouth seemed to be a lie. For whatever reason she couldn't just sit with the Doctor and tell him the truth, the whole truth with every little detail out in the open. Whether it was selfish or selfless River didn't know.
She hoped that after all this was done they could rekindle some sense of those happy times, the blissful years where she could live in the moment and not care about the consequences. In her heart though, River knew that things would never be quite the same again.
'We're ready for you now.'
River looked up to see Charlotte Manton with two armed guards she didn't recognise standing at the cell door. She hadn't even heard them coming.
'Right,' she muttered, standing up and brushing off her skirt. The feeling of the folded paper in her pocket was reassuring, though there were still butterflies in her chest. This won't last long she told herself. You've got her.
Xxx
It was such a simple plan. So few things could go wrong; but that was it, wasn't it? There was always something that could go wrong.
The Doctor had watched River leave with such a pain and longing in his hearts that it was all he could do not to run after her. If there had been another way to do this which didn't endanger somebody's life or give Manton a chance to run then they would be doing it; this was it. He had lingered in the Tardis for a while, watching River until she left with the guards before finally dematerialising and landing at the back of the prepared courtroom with invisibility cloaking his presence.
He noted that there wasn't a jury, which suggested that the verdict had already been decided, though the stands for the public were full. The Doctor spotted cameras and journalists sitting waiting even an hour before the trial was due to begin and it made his blood boil. They were all ready to see her finally put to death over the greatest crime in the universe, clamouring for a picture of the moment River was sentenced. It was sickening.
The waiting was killing him. All he wanted was to burst out of the Tardis doors and proclaim himself alive, to show the world that he wasn't dead and leave River free to walk away. If only it were that simple. If the Silence knew that he was alive, then they would simply take up arms against him once more. The Doctor had accepted his end a long time ago when he had first thought it inevitable, but there were people he cared about who had been hurt last time and he wasn't about to let that happen again.
Not to her. Not after everything she had been through for him. It was that last thought he couldn't quite shake. River was in prison for him, to keep his secret quiet, and if he had been brave enough to face his enemies in the first place then she would have been safe. That fact would always be in the back of his mind every time he saw sadness in her eyes, and the Doctor didn't know whether he could live with that.
He was snapped from the depths of these thoughts as the room erupted with noise, and he ran to the screen in time to see the judges and Stormcage Board take their positions at the high table. Manton was one of the last to take their seats, fiddling with her hair as she sat and looking flustered. She had no idea what was coming, and that was enough for a small smile to creep across the Doctor's face.
When River entered the room the roar of the crowd was even louder. Cameras flashed everywhere as she took her place on the podium behind a panel of thin glass, and people shouted inaudibly in her direction from the stands. Her expression never changed, a look of focused determination never wavering despite the increasing level of noise.
The Doctor could hardly breathe. She was flawless, as always, and keeping it together with a strength he couldn't begin to understand. The room was silenced as Head Judge Palladino stood and put her hands in the air. She had greying hair and soft features, hardly the look of an average high profile judge, but her eyes were as cold and dark as steel.
'I call the trial of Doctor River Song to order,' she proclaimed, her voice echoing around the silent courtroom. The audience were hanging on her every word, as if they had no idea what she was going to say next.
'Doctor Song, the charges brought against you are not new in their origins. 12,000 life sentences were awarded to you at the closing of your last trial, and should this court rule in your favour these will still stand. Do you comprehend the meaning of this?'
'I do, Your Honour,' River said in a simple, monotone voice.
'We are here today to decide whether, under the guidelines of the Millennium Agreement, your crimes warrant a death sentence. Let's start with the prosecution. Mr Marsden, do you have any new evidence to bring to this case?'
A scrawny young man, barely 25 years old and wearing a faded grey suit, stood from the benches on the left side of the room.
'There is no new evidence Your Honour,' he stated quickly, his tone fraught with nerves as if it were his first case. 'The prosecution believes that the eye witnesses and Doctor Song's original confession are withstanding and warrant no further investigation. It is clear to the court that Doctor Song is guilty, by her own admittance, and the severity of her crime is not covered by the Millennium Agreement. Therefore it is clear to us that the new sentence should be implemented without appeal.'
The Doctor wasn't sure whether to be relived or horrified. The prosecution had made no attempt to change or reiterate their case, knowing how water-tight it had been first time around; they had even allowed this under-qualified child to present their argument. It was pathetic that they didn't think this worthy of a fight, assuming they had already won, though at least they had not made life more difficult.
'I see,' the judge mused, 'you can be seated. Now to the defence. Doctor Song has chosen to represent herself in this matter. Legally, there is nothing preventing this court from changing your sentence here and now from 12,000 lives in prison to death. Do you have any evidence or argument which would prevent this from being implemented?'
The Doctor could hear both hearts thumping against his ribs so loudly it had been difficult to work out what the judge had been saying. River looked down for a moment, and for him the second before she spoke seemed to last a lifetime.
'No, Your Honour.'
He couldn't believe it. Neither could anyone in the courtroom, or in fact the judge herself.
'B-but…Doctor Song, without a defence you understand that you will be sentenced to death and removed to await the implementation of this sentence?'
'I do, Your Honour.'
'Well I…I suppose if all of the council is in favour?' Each member of the high table in turn gave a curt nod before Judge Palladino brought the gavel down.
'Doctor River Song, I hereby sentence you to death by lethal injection. You will be taken to a secure facility where you will be given the usual courtesies and your rights explained. The sentence will be carried out one week from today at 3.00 pm. If we are all in agreement, this trial is over.'
The Doctor watched in awe, is brain not quite able to take in everything that was happening. Guards were taking River and handcuffing her, pushing her roughly from the witness box towards the back door as journalists screamed over each other to get a picture. River was calm, walking slowly but surely and not a hint of worry in her expression. It was wrong, all so wrong.
When his body caught up with what his eyes were seeing, the Doctor ran to the doors of the Tardis and found them shut.
'NO,' he screamed, pounding against the wood, 'NO YOU HAVE TO LET ME OUT. YOU HAVE TO LET ME SAVE HER.' The Tardis would not budge, refusing to allow him to leave. But the Doctor kept on hitting the doors with every ounce of energy he had until his hands were raw and tears were streaming down his face. He couldn't understand. She hadn't even tried, not even put up a fight…Was this her way of giving up? Had she planned this from the start? No, that wasn't the he person knew. That wasn't the woman he had married.
But he had to know. He had to see her, to ask her, to tell her everything would be okay and that they would figure it out somehow. Above all he just had to know. When he couldn't fight any more, the Doctor slid to the floor and let his head fall into his hands. But the Tardis had worked it out. One word lit up the screen as the courtroom faded away.
Teselecta
Xxx
It didn't take River long to realise that something was wrong. There was a silence pervading the air, as if something were going unspoken that needed to be said. Charlotte was ahead but the guards walking alongside wouldn't even look at her, and she found it strange that these two seemed completely unfamiliar when she knew pretty much everyone who worked at Stormcage.
They turned left at the end of the corridor, and that's when River's heart sank. She had been to the courtroom a few times, a block right in the centre of the prison used for internal legal affairs, and they were walking the wrong way.
'I'm pretty sure we were supposed to turn right back there,' she said tentatively, adrenaline coursing through her veins.
'Oh don't worry,' Manton answered, grinning to herself, 'we're going exactly where we need to be.' The guards each took her by the arm and started pulling her, their grip tight and forceful.
'You thought you had me there, didn't you Doctor Song?'