"Loki? Guess what?" Krishna rolled over on the floor to peer up at him. He was nestled in one of the windows of the dining hall, and when Krish asked for his attention again, he rested his book in his lap and stared down at her. Krishna: just lying there on the floor.
"What?" He grumbled.
"I'm bored." Krish put her hands behind her head and looked at the vaulted ceiling. She tried counting how many intricate little patches of detailing were up there, gave up after successfully counting five and said, "Hey Loki, guess what?"
He turned the page of his book, sniffed a little, and then said, "What, Krishna?" Without looking up from the page. Krish found this reaction very not awesome, and she immediately pushed his feet down off the window ledge, sat across from him, and got in his face.
"I'm freaking bored." And then, breaking the chain of this back-and-forth conversation with an imaginary axe, added, "Why the heck did you bring me here?" Followed with an over-dramatically grand gesture to the dining hall. It was a whole lot more spacious when there wasn't an entire court of people at the table. The massive windows were carved out to let in the maximum amount of light. They did their jobs well. Morning sunlight was beaming in warmly through the panels to reflect off the golden goblets on the table.
Just tall, thin goblets, though.
No plates. No food.
Which made Krishna want meat that much more.
"Be patient. Your lust for immediate gratification will come back to haunt you." Loki used one foot to shove Krish back to the floor. Once his window ledge was free again, he put a leg on it and left the other dangling down to Asgard far below.
Krish gave a huge yawn. If it weren't for her aching desire to spite Loki senseless, she would have fallen asleep right there on the ground. After wandering around the palace (after Loki had completely played her up and then deserted her) the previous night, she was inclined to give up completely. She had dropped to the ground and fallen asleep in the hallway. Mostly crushing the carcass of her already dead (rather undead and totally mutated) eagerness.
She woke up when Loki gave her one solid "THUNK" of a kick to her back. He, feeling at least the reminiscent emotion of guilt, felt morally inclined to go back to rescue her pathetic frame. The whole palace was then treated to the sound of Krishna kicking and screaming when Loki had thrown her over his shoulder. He carried her to the dining hall, tossed her inside, and commanded the guards to keep the door closed.
Her cries of "I'M A PRISONER! I'VE BEEN KIDNAPPED!" matured into dark threats that had something to do with Loki's innermost organs (very Krishna-ish threats that Loki was building an immunity to) which eventually developed into her present boredom.
Her declarations of maddening idleness died down. But the immediate successor of this was to poke Loki in the ribs, put her face in her hands cutely, and ask, "Can I braid your hair?" Only earning her a look of disgust, another shove to the floor, and Loki's unbridled hatred in saying –
"Stop it."
One intense glare-down and an almost school-girl-slap-fight later, Krishna's questions were finally answered. The doors eased open with thunderous vibrations, letting a slew of servants scurry in with bottles of wine being cradled in their arms. Krish watched skeptically as they each went to go fill a pair of goblets.
"Is this... a wine tasting?" Krishna asked half-heartedly with half-open eyes to match. "It's a wine tasting, isn't it? Congratulations, Loki. You've officially created the most cliché date ever."
"Not a date. Again. Stop calling things dates. I'll TELL you when I take you courting." Loki set the book down on the window ledge and hopped down to go talk to one of the hand servants. Leaving Krishna to flail her arms without an audience. "Stop your impertinence and drag yourself over here."
At first, Loki was the only one who tasted anything. He would take a critical eye to it, swish it around the goblet, smell it, taste it, and then move on to the next one. Occasionally making remarks about the wine to Krishna earned him no bonus points in her category. She was still with all guards up, standing very anti-this-activity at the end of the table.
At one point she started poking at Loki for being so emotionally involved with the wines.
A few moments after damaging Loki's pride, she started making towers with anything nearby. When she tried to use the chairs as building blocks, Loki put an end to that.
The only thing that she finally consented to consume were the pastries in the middle of the table. The sugar cookie things meant to cleanse your palate after each wine.
The second she started leaning out the windows to spit on the passerbys, Loki was officially fed up with her. He decided the next time she said or did anything pessimistic, he was going to force the wine down her throat. Whether she wanted it there or not.
"I don't like your shoes, Loki," counted as pessimistic in his book. So he gripped one of the goblets and walked over to Krishna casually.
"What are you doing?" She asked, backing up slightly. And when he didn't stop in his advances, Krish screamed, "Stay back, fiend! Foul creature of the night!" Even Krishna mocking Loki's dialect didn't stop his pursuit. Eventually, after giving chase around the room, he caught her and held her in his empty arm. All without spilling the wine in his other hand. Even if Krishna wouldn't acknowledge it, Loki thought that was a talent: to not spill wine when dealing with a psychopath. "ARGH! LOKI! LET ME GO!"
"Drink the wine, Krishna."
"YOU POISONED IT. I CAN JUST FEEL IT." She wailed dramatically. "YOU WANT ME DEAD."
"Krishna, it's just wine." As he brought the cup to her mouth, he added, "Drink it or I'll throw you out the window."
Krish gave a few more attempts at breaking free, but nothing was going to stop a dedicated god. He was super focused on his mission. Krishna gave her last valiant effort at release. And upon failure, gave in to drinking the wine.
Valiant effort, Krishna. Valiant failed effort.
But after she swallowed what little she allowed in her mouth, she cringed and made a retching noise that a dying cat would be completely jealous of. "That is NOT wine. That's hand sanitizer. How do you drink that stuff?"
"Alright then." Loki casually set it on the table and selected another one. "Try this."
Krish, still very much imprisoned in his grip, was seeing red. She wasn't just seeing red, she was seeing scarlet. Crimson. She tasted the next wine with homicidal intent. As much as she hated thinking it, however, it tasted better than hand sanitizer. It actually tasted divine. Loki set it back on the table, but Krishna snatched it with one hand took a deep drink from it.
"I'm keeping this one." She said, her voice reverberating in the metal as she put her face in the goblet. After that, Loki's problems were solved. From that point forward, Krish was lenient to trying the other wines. Once they reached the sweeter varieties, Krishna was starting to even go as far to enjoy the not-a-date date.
Right when Loki was thinking the morning might have been salvaged after all, (and he didn't even have to throw the girl out the window), someone took a candle to it and lit it up in flames all over again.
Who was that someone? Well, that someone was Thor.
"Ah! Wine, is it?" He declared loudly, storming into the room in the pompous way that only Thor could. "I was not told that you were drinking wine in here, brother." He walked up to Loki and slapped one hand on the back of his neck. "All you told me is that you were preparing something in order to impress your black haired friend." And then finally making the realization, "Oh, she's here too."
Krishna stopped eating a sugar cookie mid-bite. She set it down on the table slowly and looked at Loki with thinned, mischievous eyes and a dignity-crushing smile. A smile that, when paired when Thor's embarrassing words, lit the fuse on making Loki's face burn. He tried to turn away to hide his reddening cheeks, but Thor only rotated him back.
"Tell me, Loki. Did it impress her at all?" He asked, slapping Loki on the back again. Krishna rested her elbow on the table and her face in her hand. She watched Loki gently, not deciding whether she found his embarrassment hilarious or adorable.
"Oh, it definitely impressed me." she said before Loki could fail in creating an excuse. Loki looked up at her, shocked that what came out of her mouth was actually (mostly) genuine. And when his look turned from 'shock' to 'thanks,' Krishna added, "He's been very charming recently, Thor. I don't know what's gotten into him."
"Interesting." Thor pondered, turning his gaze to Loki as well. "Interesting indeed…"
"Stop looking at me." Loki demanded, dropping his own eyes to the floor. Krishna watched him for a little bit longer, sighed through her nose, and then went back to the wine in front of her face. It was mocking her, begging her to go back to the alcohol, and she was more than willing to give in.
"Anyway. While this is cute and everything, I'm getting back to what this thing was supposed to be about." Krish hummed, swishing around the wine. But her statement brought something expected (unwanted, though) out of Thor.
"I do not think delicate maidens such as yourself should be drinking wines such as these." Thor chuckled. Loki looked up at him with panic in his eyes.
"No, Thor, don't insult – "
"Delicate?" Krishna repeated slowly. "Did you just call me delicate?"
"Krishna, please don't hurt anyone – " Loki pleaded, but before he could finish, Thor had shoved him out of the way (he wasn't an important part of this conversation, anyway) and took another few steps toward Krishna.
"I bet," Krish started, leaning back and folding her arms across her chest. Loki muttered 'here we go' in the background and hit his face with his palm. "That this delicate maiden can drink more wine than you."
"Is this a challenge?" Thor chuckled. He looked back at Loki, who was banging his head against the wall. "Brother, you did not tell me this girl was one for challenges." Loki was going into bouts of maniacal laughter. So Thor ignored his verging insanity and looked back at Krishna, who was already holding one of the goblets. "I accept."
She downed its contents, cringed, and reached for another one.
xXxXx
"Krishna!" Loki reached out again, stretching his fingertips as far as they would go. But she avoided his attempt at reaching her like nothing and continued running down the corridor. While Loki chased the girl, fearing that he would become exhausted before she did, he realized two things.
a) He needed to get in shape.
And…
b) Alcohol affected Krishna in some screwed up ways.
Krishna, (surprise, surprise) (literally, though, it was a shock), was the one to come out victorious in the wine drinking competition between her and Thor. It wasn't really a noble win, because they had run out of wine before either of them were ready to quit (and Krishna had been the one to grab the last goblet), but it was a win nonetheless. While Thor only accepted his loss, waved goodbye, and left, Krishna didn't come out so unscathed.
Unlike Thor, she didn't have a tolerance for alcohol. Loki could understand that; he got drunk easily as well. But Krish wasn't really 'drunk.' Apparently, instead of making Krish tipsy, unbalanced, and unfocused…
Alcohol made her sharp, super-awake, as fast as a rocket, and completely, utterly insane.
Which is where we find our estranged couple: Loki desperately chasing Krishna before the latter had the chance to do something horrible. Loki, after losing his chance to grab the girl again, had completely lost her when she disappeared around a corner. All he could do was grab onto the bull and hang on for the ride. He found himself, in desperation, tiptoeing along the remnants of her crazed laughter to find where she went. At one point, her super-keen alcohol-enhanced hearing made her bolt when Loki came yards away from snagging her.
They'd been playing this cat-and-mouse all day (and while Loki knew he was supposed to be the cat, he felt like he was the opposite instead). A whole afternoon and evening slaughtered just like that, all of Loki's previous plans sent up in flames as the ashes fell around him. And ashes falling in your face and obstructing your vision can be a bad thing when you're trying to find a maybe-psychotic-but-I'm-not-quite-sure-because-she's-hammered-beyond-belief woman.
So he tiptoed.
Tiptoe, tiptoe, tiptoe, suddenly a guard's scream ripped through the silence, jogging, running, sprinting…
So help me, if she killed anyone…
Loki rounded the corner to see Krishna in a crumpled heap on the wall at the end of the corridor, with a guard staring at her in a very defensive position. Loki ran up to examine her unmoving body lying there on the ground, then he reared up to the guard and (all fear of being randomly stabbed by Krish being thrown out the window) exclaimed –
"What did you do to her?"
"What did I do to HER? You should be asking what SHE did to me!" The guard wouldn't put away his sword until Loki shoved it down. Having blades pointed at Krishna made him squeamish. It was just blades, though, that made him nervous. "That thing has probably delivered me nightmares for many a moon after this."
"What?" Usually flailing arms was Krishna's strong suit, but Loki enjoyed the feeling. "She's just a girl. Not a monstrous assassin. I mean," he gestured at her. "Look at her."
"It was running at me," The guard panted, "And right before it reached me, it collapsed there on the floor."
"It?" Loki spat back, "And why did you have to give out that bloodcurdling shriek? You are perfectly unharmed!"
"You did not see what I saw. What was running at me down that hallway is not the timid girl you are looking at right here." The guard's justification of his actions didn't really sit well with Loki, who was staring at him with angry eyes. Not only was the prince completely exhausted from a day of running at top speed, he was also being particularly antagonized by the dark light of the night beaming in through the windows.
He didn't know why the moonlight was pissing him off, it just was.
Lots of things were pissing him off at that moment, actually.
Without saying anything else (if he said anything else, he was afraid it would be paired with him stabbing the insolent person that was the guard) Loki bent down to Krishna and picked her up in his arms. Her drunken eyes looked back at him, a dark clumsy smile painted on her face. THAT was the kind of drunk Loki was used to. The kind of drunk that didn't freak the heck out of him. He adjusted her in his arms to make sure she wouldn't fall and get a concussion, and then strutted away from the stupefied guard.
"Loki, pst…" Krishna tapped his cheek gently, which took some effort on her part. His footsteps were like earthquakes in messing up her sense of balance. She tried for his cheek again, and he leaned his face away from her so she wouldn't poke his eye. "Loki where are… where are we?"
"Asgard."
"What do…" Krishna paused to give the most adorable drunk hiccup ever. "Loki, hey, listen to me."
"I can hear you." Loki said, taking a turn down one of the hallways and looking at the staircase he would have to ascend. A staircase that made him grumble under his breath.
"No." Krish tugged on Loki's collar, and pulled his head down. Then, she whispered in his ear as softly as you would talk to a newborn, "I don't want you to hear me. I want you to listen to me."
"I give you my word." Loki said slowly. This was a side of her he hadn't seen before. "I'm listening to you, Krishna."
"Who the hell said they were Krishna? I'm Krishna!" She flailed around a little, Loki struggled to keep his hold of her, and his cursing at her didn't have any effect on her behavior. Eventually she got in the position to perfectly peer over his shoulder, and in her best Mission Impossible voice she grumbled, "Are there any imposters we have to kill, agent?"
Now this? This was the side of Krishna he was used to.
"I believe we're fine."
"Who are you talking to? Ghosts? Are there ghosts around here? Can you see them? Can you teach me how to see them, too? I've… I've always wanted to learn to talk to ghosts…"
"I'm talking to you."
"Wait, who are you talking to?"
"You."
"Where are you taking me?"
"To bed."
"Bed? Like… like for sleeping or something?"
"Exactly."
"Loki… pst… hey, hey Loki?" Krish held her fingers out and poked each one of them. Then she waggled them around a little. "What are these?"
"Those? Those are your fingers."
Thankfully, Krishna became so enthralled by these things called "fingers" that she descended into silence. Loki took a deep breath through his nose and passed right by his room. There was no way he was letting a stoned Krishna sleep in the same room as him. That was like playing Russian Roulette where there's only barrel WITHOUT the bullet. And that 'one barrel' would be if Krishna decided to spare him. Which, in her drunk state, wasn't going to happen.
Snowball's chance in Hell.
He walked on through the hallway, posture perfect and face deadpan, ignoring any strange looks he was given for carrying the intoxicated girl. All he could think about, really, was putting her in the Warming Room and being able to get something done. The idea of being without Krish for a while opened him up to a million possibilities: magic training, reading, socializing, learning.
But, for some reason, it didn't really seem enjoyable. Thinking about being without Krish didn't make him feel empty (too cliché) but it made him feel… exposed.
"You were too cute for that, anyway." Krish mumbled drunkenly to herself. Then she chuckled and buried her face in his shoulder. Her chuckle was contagious, and Loki actually cracked a smile as he asked –
"What was that, Krishna? What was I too cute for?"
"For me to hurt you." Krish slurred, rolled her head back and stared at him dreamily. "I was supposed to, but...I... the Gods can shove it up their… up their… I forgot the word…" She went through another bout of giggling before adding, "I don't want to hurt you, Loki." Her eyes widened dramatically. "You're like my BEST. FRIEND. EVER."
She didn't want to hurt him anymore. And she also just solidly declared to Loki and the empty walls that he was her best friend. That made him feel like someone wrapped a thick fleece blanket over his shoulders. He stopped in the hallway to relish in that feeling.
"Whoa." Krish stuck her arms out like she was trying to balance herself. Even though she was being held by Loki, completely stabilized. "We're not moving anymore." Loki gave a smile and continued walking for the Warming Room. "There we go…"
"You know what I think, Krishna?" Loki hummed, feeling like he was talking to himself, making these realizations. "I think you're my best friend as well." Krish smiled, closing her eyes and resting on his shoulder as his footsteps started to rock her to sleep.
"You promise?" She asked softly.
"I promise."
"Loki," Krish hiccupped again. There was a long pause as she tried to herd her thoughts back together and piece them into an entire sentence. "I've never had a best friend before. Never really had a friend at all."
Loki looked straight forward and tried to avoid pouting at how sadly she said that.
"Loki?" Krish waggled her fingers. "What are these? I forgot again."
xXxXx
"Have you proclaimed love to her yet?"
"No, Hogun, don't ask that. That's too personal." Volstagg used one massive hand to shove Hogun away, "Loki, has she proclaimed love to you, yet?"
"I am still having issues believing that Loki could make a girl like that swoon…"
"Is she insane?"
"Loki, have you had any romantic encounters with her?"
After all the taunting and teasing that Volstagg, Hogun, Fandral, and Thor had given him while he was walking down the hallway, THAT was what made Loki turn around with the most perfect "WTF" face ever. (It even rivaled Krishna's "WTF" faces)(and Krishna's "WTF" faces were as perfect as they came). He clenched his fists together and tried to stare them all down.
"Ooh, yes. Romantic encounters."
"She seems dramatic. Was it like a dramatic performance?"
"I mean, I did not hear any screaming… but I suppose the walls are thick."
"Would it be Loki screaming or the girl?"
"Excuse me," Loki placed one hand on his chest, interrupting Thor before he could dive deeper into what Loki's screaming might sound like. All while attempting not to shudder and trying not to crack under all the pokes at his private life. "I have to go vomit now. If you'll allow me to do that…"
Then, after quieting them completely, Loki adjusted his robe, tried not to cry with embarrassment, and stormed down the hallway. The Warriors watched him until he turned the corner and disappeared. They could practically see his trail of anger.
"Loki would be the one screaming." Fandral finally said, stroking his chin.
"Definitely."
A/N: I know, usually I put these things on the top. But I thought I might as well make things fun and mix it up. Tell me what you thought about the chapter! Daphii did some fan art of her own of Krishna in her dress, which I still keep getting blown away by. Thank you so much, anyone who does fan art. That is incredible to me.
So how did you like a stoned Krishna? And all Loki's and Krishna's drunk bantering? BEST FRIENDS EVER.
Free cyber cookies to those for reviews! (the super delicious kind). I MADE THEM MYSELF.
-Phan