At the Morgue

It was a clear cloudless day in South Park. The sun was shining, which was rare, the birds were chirping, and Eric Theodore Cartman was on a mission. He'd been trying to do this for the last twenty-five years of his life. Now, today, on this very day, his wish and his mission were about to be realized. He smiled as he walked into the Mortician's office. He rang a bell on the counter, and heard footsteps at the back of the building.

The place was small, and plain looking. It had a small counter with a bell, a stack of forms, and a paper weight. The walls were plain and peeling, looking as if they needed to be repainted over again. The office was the size of a small living room, and the mortician was heading for the counter from a room in the back.

He was dressed in black just like Eric was now. They both smiled at each other. They both greeted each other familially. They'd known each other since they were babies, practically.

"Hello, Butters." said Eric smiling.

"Hey, Eric." Butters said cheerfully. "How can I help you?" he asked as he took a blank form and a pen from the desk. "Who passed away?"

"My mom." Eric said keeping a blank expression. "She was the best mom in the world."

"Oh, dear." Butters gasped. "Are you okay, pal?" he cooed in a familiar fashion.

"She was the best mom ever." Cartman said blankly. "I always told her so. I always made sure she knew. She deserves the best."

Butters started asking him questions. "Is she at your house now?"

"Yes. She's the best mom. So beautiful. So young. She's amazing. She was the best mom in the world."

They kept on going through the form until the form was filled out. Butters looked saddened, and Cartman just had his blank expression. Butters stepped over and shook Eric's hand gently.

"It'll be okay, fella." he said sadly. "Don't worry."

"I want the best for my mom." Cartman said simply. "The very best."

"And you won't be disappointed, Eric, I guarantee it." Butters promised. "She'll be treated with the respect she deserves."

"I love her." Cartman claimed. "You have to understand that. Everyone loved her. She was the very best. She deserves nothing more nothing less than the best."

"I've got you covered, pal." Butters said softly. "Me and my assistant will be by to pick her up in two hours."

"I love her. She's beautiful. Everyone loves her. She's amazing. The best mom ever." Cartman kept on with his aimless banter as he was ushered out by Butters.

"When did she die?" Butters asked as they walked out into the street.

"The best mom in the world." Eric said keeping his expression blank. "I wish nothing more but the best."

"I understand, buddy." Butters said as he led the man to his car. "See you in a bit."

When Butters walked back into his small office, Cartman smiled remembering his last question. When did she die?

"As soon as I get back to my house."