62 Things the Avengers are Not Allowed to Do.

Summary;
Coulson starts to make up rules as to the things that the Avengers are not allowed to do. 62 of them in fact.

This fic shall include all the Avengers and known S. H. I. E. L. D agents.
Loki is not in it.
Sorry about that.

Disclaimer;
*Insert SPECTACULAR disclamer here*

To the curious ones...here is your answer. x'''D

As Fury was speaking, he noticed something flash and then drop over in Tony's direction. His one eye narrowed. It wasn't the first time he'd seen it. He hadn't really been keeping count, but if he'd had to guess, he would have said it was roughly the twenty-second time he'd seen it.

Banner had also noticed it, but he was more than happy to just inwardly sigh at his science bro's antics and try to ignore it as best as he could without smirking or laughing outright. He had seen Fury glance at Tony suspiciously a few times and was surprised that the Director hadn't said anything.

Then he saw why.

"-and so your mission is to go into the enemy base and retrieve the jade hairpin without being recognised." Fury finished.

"Whhy don't we..." Tony started, slurring his words slightly. "...jusst go in there...fuck their asssesss and give them sssssomething to go and cry to mommy about, tsakethe hairpin, and go to ssssschwarma."

Natasha quietly facepalmed.

Barton narrowed his eyes at the genius in disbelief. "Stark, have you been drinking since we got here?" He asked, staring at the Tequila shot which was totally visible in Stark's hand from where he had made the 'what' gesture.

The philanthropist numbly turned his head to look at the glass. "Whoopsss..."

Steve's jaw locked and he stood up. "I'll be right back." He growled through gritted teeth, taking the glass from Tony's hand and putting it on the table before none too gently grabbing a fistful of Tony's hair and pulling him upright, dragging him out.

The other's were left slightly stunned as Tony's drunken protests echoed from the hallway.

"Go momma Steve..." Banner remarked, making Natasha giggle quietly into her hand.

"What is the good Captain going to do to him?" Thor questioned in his odd way of speaking.

Clint grinned wickedly as he stood up. "S'what I'm gonna go find out."

Sprinting out of the Bridge and following the direction Steve had taken, he was surprised to find that he was led to the empty canteen, which was devoid of everyone, even the cooks. With a curious frown he followed the sounds of still slightly drunk protesting. As he leant against the kitchen doorframe, what he saw, was the last thing he had expected.

Steve's hand was still clenching Tony's hair, but the same hand was forcefully pushing Tony's head into an ice-cold sink of water. The genius's own hands were pressed against the edge of the sink, feebly trying to resist the pressure in his drunk state.

With a slight wrench of his hand, Steve allowed Tony to resurface, spluttering and slurring his words all the way. This was repeated a good many times until Tony was still slightly under the influence, but was sober enough to form coherent thoughts.

And curses.

"Fuck! Fuck...Fuck it Rogers." He gasped as he resurfaced, spewing ice-cold water off of him. "This hurts my brain. Stop it."

"Good. Maybe you'll learn not to drink on a mission or during a debriefing. Because I'll do this as many times as I need to just to ensure that the message sinks in." Steve snapped, merely pushing Stark back into the water with an angry glare.

Tony gasped as he was allowed to come up for air again about twenty seconds later. "Shit that's cold. Steve, please, I wasn't that drunk, I ju-" The rest of his sentance was cut off with garbled words as he was forced underwater once more.

"Oh I know." Steve growled out in his clipped tone. "Last time I had to sort you out like this, you were cutting up a pineapple in the lab screaming 'Spongebob I know you're in there'. So for god's sake, let's hope you learn this time."

Clint quickly clapped a hand over his mouth to stop himself from laughing as he stopped recording and fled back to the other Avengers, bursting out into hysterics the moment he got there.

"You guys have got to see this." He managed to choke out.

Rule number 17: There are to be no shots of any kind during debriefings.

Actually loved writing this one. I was sat here laughing hysterically to myself. X'''D

Kai XxxXxxX

(P.s; Cookies to anyone who got the Jade Hairpin reference as a BBC Sherlock reference. ;D)