BOOK ONE: STATUS QUO Chapter 14, a gravity falls fanfic

BOOK ONE: STATUS QUO ch.14

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

…...

"-So you think you can fix it?" Asks a hopeful Ikki. Cave Johnson Smiled. "Of course!" He then takes from her one of the many new things she was introduced to at the fair; a "Slinky". He then starts to work on it.

After a couple minutes- "There! It's done!" He exclaims, he sets it down and lets it fall over...It then bursts into flames! Ikki smirks at Jinora. "Told you he'd be able to set it ablaze!" Jinora just shakes her head. "This guy just makes no sense!" She exclaims as she forks over her side in the wager.

Dipper meanwhile having trained himself to react instantaneously to any fire(out of necessity from traveling with Cave). Quickly puts the fire out. Not missing a beat. Cave then converses with Dipper.

"Hey, Dipper! I discovered a new way to warp cheese! Want to watch?" Dipper shook his head. "Sorry Cave, I already told Wendy I'd help her figure out her airbending today." "Oh...okay that's cool." Said a despondent Cave. He than walks off dejectedly...

…...

Pema calmly prepared dinner. Despite the added craziness, the children calming down with her trusty tazer had made things much more peaceful-

RIP!

She groaned, now if Cave could just remember to not walk through the sliding paper screen doors! Cave gave out a depressed sigh. He then turns to Pema. "Mrs. Jinora's mom...Your a girl right?" ..."yes?" She states cautiously.

Cave nods. "Good. Then can you tell me the secrets of girls; so that I may make Dipper happy the way a girl can?" Pema dose a huge spit-take. "I beg your pardon?!" She shouts mortified. Unabated, cave explains.

"Dipper's been spending more time with Wendy lately, and it would seem he's happier and therefore better friends with her than me." Pema tries to comfort the boy. "Oh, I'm sure that's not true cave-"

"It is true! My happy-O-meter, showed me!" He says as he pulls out a weird looking gizmo. "I had to build a new one, the last one overloaded and exploded when I used it to scan Wendy and Dipper!" Cave sighed.

"I talked to Tenzin about it and he said that girls have a natural advantage of making guys happy; but when I tried to get more details...He clammed up and left the room...Apparently, because I don't know how reproduction works; I guess...Which makes no sense to me...I mean what dose the act of reproduction have to do with girls making guys happy? It just sounds like gibberish to me! What do you think Mrs.-"

And that's when Cave saw he was talking to an empty room. Cave sighed. "Dang it! That's the fifth time today!...Man, I feel blue...Maybe an experiment will make me fell better..."

…...

Cave fired up his recently invented SuperBaller Gun and let it fly. The Rainbow ball flopped around on the ground randomly...until it hit Cave!

This caused him to bounce around randomly. WEEEE! Shouted an excited Cave in between having his body smacked around...he hit everything! Cars, buildings, people, girls on motorcycles-

…...

Asami felt like she'd been hit by a car. She suddenly found herself flying through the air and landing in a nearby alley. She quickly looked around and saw a younger boy lying on his stomach scribbling in a note book and talking out loud.

"-SuperBaller experiment #1...duration 5:42 minutes...stability...Adequate...ability to make me forget my troubles...dismal." Cave sighed as he got to his feet. Asami immediately recognized him.

"Hey! Your that kid that was in charge of the Expo!" Cave nodded in a sullen manner. "Yeah, that was me." Asami looked at him concerned. "Are you alright? Do you need to go to the hospital?" Cave waved a hand dismissively.

"No, I've been through worst...I'm just a bit blue is all." Before Asami realized what was happening she found herself as a sympathetic ear. And within minutes she didn't know what to think of this boy. On the one hand he was clearly a genius...On the other hand it was like talking to a 5 year old...a very weird 5 year old...But a sweet, weird 5 year old...That may also be slightly insane.

Still, she couldn't help be swept in by this kids zeal for adventure and exploration. And feel deeply touch by his simple, innocent desire to figure out how to be a better friend. Then Cave suddenly got an idea.

"Hey, wait. Your a girl, right?" Asami looked at him bewildered. "Um...last time I checked, yeah." Cave nodded. "Great! Could I hang out with you? Maybe if I spend enough time with you; I can figure out what girls have that I don't!"

Asami blushed at that last remark. Then considered his words...on the one hand this kid seemed more then a little unstable...On the other hand how often did a person get the opportunity to hang with a guy who temporarily flung an entire city to an alternate earth? She shrugged.

"Sure, why not?" "Woo-hew! Shouted an excited Cave. I'll set up the music!" He says as he whips out his inator.

ZAP!

Asami blanched as weird, uplifting music began to play from thin air. Cave smiled. "Good! It's happy music! Were already off to great start!" Shouted Cave as he quickly dragged the confused Asami (who was already starting to regret her decision) away...

There's no way to say this song's about someone else
Every time you're not in my arms
I start to lose myself
Someone please pass me my shades
Don't let 'em see me down
You have taken over my days
So tonight I'm going out

Asami screamed as they rode a giant dragon/roller coaster that Cave had just built out of tuna cans, Styrofoam peanuts, and black magic...

Yet I'm feeling like
There is no better place than right by your side
I had a little taste
And I'll only spoil the party anyway
'Cause all the girls are looking fine
But you're the only one on my mind

Asami could only laugh as she danced with a giant spider that Cave hypnotized to dance the hokey-pokey!...

La da dee
La da dee doo
La da da me
La da da you
La da dee
La da dee doo
There's only me
There's only you
La da dee
La da dee doo
La da da me
La da da you
La da dee
La da dee doo
When you were gone I think of you

Asami and Cave swam gleefully in the ocean...that was currently being suspended above a very frightened republic City...

All these places packed with people
But your face is all I see
And the music's way too loud
But your voice won't let me be
So many pretty girls around
They're just dressing to impress
But the thought of you alone has got me spun
And I don't know what to say next

Asami was reluctant at first, but now she was glad she let cave shrunk her and let her see the inner workings of a bee hive!...

Cave and Asami mixed a bunch of crazy stuff: Isotopes, monkey paws, question marks, and underpants into a cauldron-

KABOOM!

Asami and Cave looked at each other covered in green goop for a second...then burst out laughing!...

Asami took in the sight of earth from the safety of the artificial air pocket that was keeping them safe on the moon...She didn't know what to feel...

I pretend the night is so beautiful
Take a photo with the bros
La da dee
La da da doo
They won't see through my disguise
Right here behind my eyes
Replaying in my mind
La de da

Asami and Cave jostled their joysticks excitedly as they controlled their 50ft monsters to do battle!...

"Can you believe some silly left this crashed underground and unattended?" Exclaimed Cave as Asami piloted the UFO to make crop circles and tip cows...

Asami and Cave excitedly jumped through hoops in an obstacle course filled with giant jellyfish...

Asami and Cave leapfrogged over a giant guerrilla currently climbing a giant skyscraper...

Asami and Cave screamed excitedly as they rode a giant bomb into a testing site...

Asami and Cave listened to a little franken-lemon make jokes in an upside-down room...

Asami panted in exhaustion and exhilaration. How'd we pack all that in one hour? How is that even possible?! Thought Asami as she came to terms with the best day of her life.

Cave however still looked a bit distraught. He stared at his Happy-O-Meter. "Well, it's official...the only time I've ever had this much fun was with dipper!" "That's good right?" Asked Asami.

"Don't get me wrong, it's great. Really!...But these readings are nowhere near as high as when Dipper and Wendy are together...I'm starting to wonder if maybe the whole "girl" thing has nothing to do with it...And maybe me and Dipper just aren't as great of friends as I thought.

Said a now very melancholy Cave. Asami looked at this unbelievable kid sympathetically for awhile...Ah, what the hey. After today he's earned it.

"I really think it's the "girl" thing. In fact if you come closer I'll show you a "girl secret". Always eager to learn new things. Cave excitedly leaned in closer- Where Asami gave him a nice big kiss!

KABOOM!

The Happy-O-Meter exploded! And the shattered pieces emulated fireworks! What on earth did he use to build that thing? Thought a curious and slightly flustered Asami. Cave however just stared into space in wonder. "It's all so clear now..." he said out loud...

…...

He and Asami walked back to the house where Dipper and Wendy had just returned. Dipper looked over at Cave. "Oh, hey Cave! Where've you-"

Dipper was interrupted by Cave kissing him! Everyone looked at this in shock(plus little nosebleeds for the girls). Dipper quickly got over his his shock and tore himself away.

"Dude! What is wrong with you!?" Screamed Dipper as he desperately licked the ground to get the taste out of his mouth. Cave just looked thoughtful.

"Strange, that wasn't wonderful like it was with Asami...More awkward and uncomfortable really...(sigh) I must not have done right." "Yes! Exclaimed Jinora. You should try several dozen more times!"

"And I'll photograph it so you can use it for reference!" Shouted Ikki eagerly. "What!? No! Get away from me!" Shouted a mortified Dipper as he was chased by Cave, while everyone else laughed...

…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

Also don't forget to give a shout out to my mom's birthday story on my page!

I'm a trife deaf in the ear, might want to review a little louder next time?