...I was checking through my iTunes for suitable song lyrics, and found some severely dodgy lines.
So dodgy, they don't even make it IN. It would be even more disturbing. Primus, the main culprit dares to play now, messing with my mental stability- I'm going to pause it and return.
(smashes Jetfire/Ratchet laptop with a large hammer)
I'm a big girl! I had a Hep. B jab the other day, and I got a sticker because my mummy's a nurse- other sixteen year olds don't get Heppy the Hippo stickers and certificates for Bravery. xD
Anyway, now that you know how amazing my life is, onto more interesting things.
I had a random thought the other day: I completely forgot about Jolt. I wonder if this is because he didn't say anything in ROTF? No matter. We don't need him. (Sorry, Jolt. VIPs only.)
Well, I listened to the beautiful people, and I feel like speaking like Soundwave all of a sudden. (Mmm, satellites.)
Longer chapters; Kibble endeavours. Deleted scenes; Kibble delights in scribing them. You want the twins and Prowlie? You GET the twins and Prowlie. POWER TO THE PEOPLE! (cheers)
This isn't all the Team Three interaction you'll receive- it'll continue into the next chapter, but this one needed to have a little progress besides Prowlie-torture. :P
Ewww, progress. Nearly there, everyone!
Wow. I have a marriage proposal. Thank you very much, ShadowedBlossom. But I see you- open your mouth, and remove EVERYTHING. I don't want to be the murderer of your sustenance, or you. And I'd love to marry you, but I'm engaged to half of the mechs in this fic. I'm sorry! They have no choice in the matter. xD
Clumsy Peg, I love you. x3 Be mine. (flails over the Atlantic in a MEGA-fashion) :D Your review gave me squee-ness from head-to-tippy toe.
Safety precautions, gang!
Get rid of your food- put it on the plate or back in the packet, I don't really mind as long as you DO IT-, place your drinks to very-far-away, make sure you're sitting in the centre of your seat, have your oxygen mask handy in case you can't breathe, um... I can't do much about random death. Hurting sides? Um, just stop laughing. If you melt into a puddle of GOOP, stop reading until you have solidified.
(checks through reviews for similar syndromes)
I think we're good. Just put on your safety belts, and we shall ride! xD
Sideswipe woke with a jolt. It wasn't hard to guess why; the agonised howl raging through the base was horrifyingly loud and excruciatingly painful to hear.
Shaking his helm quickly, he looked around. Prowlie? Check. Sunny? Check.
All was well in the world. He relaxed slightly. "Hey, Sunny, what's-"
His twin suddenly held a golden finger to his lips. "Don't wake Prowlie!"
"As if! He's well out of it!"
"Don't underestimate him! He's like, some kind of ninja or something."
"Not even a ninja can shrug off Ratchet's sedatives."
"Has a ninja tried?"
"...Ninja are full of surprises. Who knows?"
"We should get one and find out."
"Where do you propose we find a ninja?"
"Dey's masters of stealth, yeaah?"
Sunny had his back to the door, but there was no need to wonder who had come through it- even if the voices hadn't announced their identities, Sideswipe's optics said it all.
"Choo won't be findin' no ninja, cause youse too-" Skids dared to look both Corvette twins up and down. "...bright."
"For a moment there, I thought you were going to amaze us with some incredible wit," Sunny hissed, whirling to face the equally vivid twosome.
"Hey, Skids, dat's not true."
"What 'choo chattin'?"
"I's chattin' dat youse can be's brights. Dere's dat ninja dat's orange."
"Orange? Dat's stoopid, Muds."
"Truth!" he confirmed knowledgeably.
"What ninja be this?"
"Me forgets."
"Course you do."
"Jus' de name! ...I knows dat dere be another wit pink hair!"
" Pink-?! Muds, youse makin' dis up."
"Noes, I ain'ts!"
"Come on, den! What else?"
"...Dere be some emo."
"An emo? Emo-ninja? Dere's no such thing!"
"Dey be workin' wit sharp stuff. It be loge'cal!" Mudflap saw his twin's disbelieving look, and tried to convince him further. "Dey has some old guy dat ain't old, too."
"Youse chattin' junk!"
"Noes! He just be havin' grey hairs!"
"Silver, you useless-" Sideswipe managed to control himself. "He has silver hair."
"Dat's even more useless! He be shinin' in t'dark!"
"He ain't shinin'-"
Sunny resolved the situation by kicking them soundly out of the room.
Sides, shaking his helm in disgust, went to sit by Prowl's side. The mech should have looked peaceful in recharge, but had a mild frown crossing his faceplates. He gently placed a hand on Prowl's helm and bit his lip. "He's warm, Sunny."
"Means he's alive, doesn't it?" His twin came over regardless, and felt the spot. "Primus! He is! We should get Ratchet, and Red Alert, and Jetfire, and everyon-"
//NO! FRAG YOU, TWINS! PROWL IS FINE!//
//There is no ailment afflicting him bar being over-worked,// Red Alert concurred. //All he needs rest.//
Sunny huffed quietly.
Silence had fallen, only to be broken by an almost unbearable wail from somewhere in the base, full of emotions they could not pin down.
Afterwards, a subdued voice called out quietly. "Can we's come backs? We's done."
Saying no, you aft-holes would be very thrilling. Both Corvettes glanced at their unconscious senior, then realised they couldn't.
For Prowlie, Sideswipe sighed.
And Prowlie alone, Sunny agreed, then spoke aloud. "Fine. As long as you behave."
You sounded just like our Prowlie, his twin sniffled.
Sunny glanced fondly at the black and white. I tried to.
The younger twins entered, and shuffled nervously. Skids dodged past his brother, and started to move towards Prowl.
This wasn't a good idea.
Sideswipe narrowed his optics. "Don't even try and cross the Line."
Sunny hissed menacingly. "I dare you to try it."
A hysterical yowl shook through the base.
"That wasn't Arcee," Sides muttered, glancing up.
"Somethin's goin' down, boys!" Mudflap declared gleefully.
Skids shoved him. "Dat's obvious, foo'! "
Mudflap edged closer. "Eh... youse two knows what dose wailin's be's?"
"What wailing?" Sideswipe asked calmly. "I can't hear anything."
"Youse deaf?"
"Would I be answering you if I were?"
Sunny smirked, finally pinning down the origins of the sounds they could hear.
//It must be the ventilation shafts,// he informed Sides.
//What would anyone be doing in there?//
//Your guess is as good as mine.//
A snarl reverberated past, suddenly snapping into a squeal.
//I'll rephrase that. Do you want to know?//
"Youse didn't hear dats?"
"Hear what?" Sunny looked around innocently.
After so many years of not working on Prowlie, they hadn't expected their 'ignorance' to actually be bought by anyone.
However, it seemed that this was not the case.
"Youse can't hear no... yelpin'? No yappin'?"
"No howlin'?"
Sides blinked. "Nope."
"Sounds like someone's been watching-" Sunny caught the sharp glance by his twin and remembered that even accidentally introducing these two to interfacing was going to be a fatal offence. It was taboo, then.
"Watchin' whats?"
"...Too much Discovery Channel?"
Sideswipe cringed. Good one.
A quieter whimper echoed past, followed by someone else's snarl.
"Perhaps you've watched a scary movie recently," Sides announced quickly, talking over the sounds. Sunny, help me out. I can't DO this alone!
"YES!" Sunny caught on. They could just speak over the random noises.
Someone cried out.
"IT MUST HAVE BEEN TERRIFYING FOR YOU TO BE INFLUENCED THIS BADLY BY IT!" the golden mech shouted loudly.
There was a loud growl accompanied by several thuds.
"MAYBE YOU SHOULD GET TO RECHARGE! YOUR PROCESSORS ARE MAKING YOU IMAGINE THINGS!"
//What on Cybertron are you talking about, Sideswipe? If you can't hear those bizarre and honestly- never mind... sounds, then you must need a brutal- I mean. thorough check-up.//
"No!" Sides blurted aloud, then remembered his comm. //Do you want Mudflap and Skids to have an inkling of whatever's happening?//
//My apologies; I thought you were insane. Send them down to Red Alert.// Ratchet sniggered quietly. //I'll inform him that they're hearing things.//
//You're the best, Ratchet.//
//I know.//
Lennox was abruptly woken by some –truthfully enough- unearthly noises. He dived out of his bunk and scrabbled for his sidearm before realising that danger was not imminent. Dang his reflexes.
Instead of shooting holes in random helpless objects (like someone he knew), he picked up the handily close walkie-talkie, dressing as he did so. "Ironhide, you up and about?"
//Certainly. Why?//
Lennox paused. "What the hell are you lot up to?"
Ironhide took his time replying. //...Nothing.//
"Hey, don't think you can lie that badly and get away with it. I know you well enough to-"
The soldier broke off; a loud thud coming from his door indicating someone's arrival.
Lennox retrieved his gun as he walked to the door- you could never be too careful. No one played fairly these days. Back in the good old days, at least being human-sized meant that you could go places huge life-forms couldn't. But no, not anymore. Mind you, it was unlikely that Decepticons would knock.
He opened it to find Sam rubbing his forehead.
"Oh, that's really gonna hurt in the morning, hang on- it hurts now! Oh, Lennox, it's you-!"
The teen sounded surprised that Lennox would be in his own room at an ungodly hour.
"What's up, kid?"
"Nothing much, just, you know, maybe I'm imagining these really creepy screeches and roarinnnngs...?" Sam clenched his fingers into claws and wiggled them in Lennox's face. "And similar sounds to the same effect-"
There was a loud explosion. Sam yelped and crumpled to the floor, claw-hands twitching spasmodically.
Lennox addressed the walkie-talkie. "Hey, Ironhide. If you're gonna blow stuff up, couldn't you give us some warning?"
//Apologies. I was venting.//
Sam grabbed the walkie-talkie, dragged it down to his level and howled into it. "WHAT'S GOING ONNNNN? ...Will, is this working?"
The soldier sighed. "Yes, Sam."
//...The base isn't in danger, and we're all fine.//
Lennox frowned incredulously at the walkie-talkie. Sam looked at him.
"Roger that, Ironhide. We're coming down."
//Not a good idea.//
"I thought you said nothing was wrong, Ironhiiiide."
The black mech smashed his helm into a wall. Why were humans so inquisitive? Why did they contact him? Couldn't they have tried someone who found it easy to make up convincing stories? "I did."
Sam's voice bellowed suddenly. //I'M GONNA FIND 'BEE!//
Ironhide winced, and nursed his audio receptors. He had contacted Optimus, who said that he had already been assaulted by a singed, leg-wielding Wheeljack and was on his way to check out the situation.
//That settles it,// Lennox declared. //Me too.//
Damn. He'd have to cut them off. "If I said it was in your best interests to not?"
//Just what are you doing? Raving?//
There was a dignified silence as Ironhide ignored this stupid suggestion.
His helm snapped up as Megatron's disembodied voice floated past. "You're going to learn from this one, I tell you-"
He was cut off by a panicked screech.
And a hysterical howl.
The latter belonged to Sam, who had unfortunately recognised the voice. //HOLY MOJO! THAT'S MEGATRON!//
Lennox frowned at him. "You sure, kid?"
Sam nodded frantically, head jiggling up and down repeatedly.
"'hide, you heard Sam."
//He must be mistaken,// Ironhide insisted, kicking the wall aggressively.
Megatron unfortunately chose this moment to bellow. "You think THAT will get you out of ANYTHING?"
It was followed by a despairing wail.
There was a short silence, until Lennox spoke thoughtfully. "Sam has enjoyed a lot of time with Megatron. It's unlikely that these personal experiences are 'mistaken'."
//Well, he must be!//
Lennox could have sworn Ironhide muttered something about 'less personal experience that some unfortunates', but he couldn't be sure.
Sam bit his already chewed nails. "I could have sworn it was him-"
"I, MEGATRON, THE LEADER OF THE DECEPTICONS, SHALL MAKE YOU-"
Lennox scratched his head. "...'hide, you still sure?"
There was another explosion.
By the time Lennox and Sam managed to exit the human sector, there were no more alarming sounds.
Just as well, Lennox reflected. Sam was twitching like a squirrel that had mixed drugs, sugar, and caffeine. Very rock and roll, but not very fun to be around.
Ironhide mysteriously materialised before them.
Sam shrieked and ducked behind Lennox, who grabbed him by the shoulders. "Sam, Sam. Focus. It's Ironhide."
The teenager's eyes were decidedly unfocused. Will snapped his fingers right in his face to no avail.
Sam blinked and declared something in another language.
Ironhide leaned closer incredulously.
Noises a human would find difficult to utter were choking forth from Sam. Lennox, worried, wondered aloud if he should call a medic.
"No," Ironhide assured. "He isn't insane. He's speaking a form of Cybertronian."
"Well, that's perfectly normal."
"It's weird," the black mech scowled. "I would guess Ratchet would like to see him."
"Ratchet likes to see people?"
The thought hung in the air. Ironhide decided it would be easier to carry Sam then to have him dive to the floor for no particular reason every minute.
Besides, he realised, at least whilst distracted by thoughts of Ratchet and the medbay, they wouldn't be asking questions about the whole Megatron-Starscream thing.
Ratchet snarled. "What in the Pit is going on?"
Red Alert moved his bishop. "I do not know, Sir. But it sounds rather troubling."
"Let's finish the game first." Ratchet rubbed his chin. "Hmm."
He picked up his castle, and moved it four places when-
A roar burst into life- then broke off into what sounded like a deep, pained groan.
Red Alert twitched.
"Cover your audios, I'll find out what's going on." Ratchet would sacrifice himself for the innocence of his junior. "Fool around with Skids and Mudflap. They mustn't know what's going on, you hear me?"
The ambulance frowned, then nodded. "Good luck, sir."
"You'll need it, not I."
Ratchet wandered around the corridors. Where the heck was the point of origin?
After a loud crash and a decidedly brief whine, there was silence again- oh, not quite. Luckily for Ratchet, his incredibly sensitive audio receptors picked up what sounded like heavy panting.
Primus. Did he want to know what was going on?
Someone screamed. "HOLY FRRRAAAAAAAAAAG!"
It sounded like Optimus.
"STOP THAT! FREEEEEEZE! NO, DON'T FREEZE, IT MAKES IT WORSE-"
The shrieking broke off suddenly. Maybe Optimus had fainted.
"PRIMUS! WHY DOES THIS HAVE TO HAPPEN!? I THOUGHT YOU WERE RESPONSIBLE! YOU KNOW, THE WHOLE-"
Obviously he was still online. Ratchet hurried around another corner, and saw Hot Rod stumbling out of the labs, clutching a trembling Bumblebee.
He knelt down beside them. "Hot Rod-"
"I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S HAPPENING," he yelled, optics squeezed tightly shut. "I'VE BEEN TOLD TO SWITCH OFF MY AUDIOS! BUMBLEBEE KNOWS, I THINK!"
Ratchet, wincing and reeling back from the sheer volume, tried to give him a pained grimace of a smile.
"Bumblebee! Talk to me! What's going on?"
"JOYRIDE- how did it end up like this-!"
Ratchet bit his lip. "You have to give me more than that-"
"Now they're going to bed, and my stomach is sick- I just can't look- you're a pervert!"
"Are they in there?"
"You got me poppin' champagne-! Take this all the way-" The young Autobot nodded, then shook his helm violently.
"They're going to get aft-whooped, whoever they are. Look what they've done to you! I tell you now, if it's-"
Bumblebee whimpered. "He's a scumbag, don't you know...? Mr Inconspicuous-"
"I'm going to go in, okay? Stay here. I'll be back in a minute."
Ratchet disappeared into the room. Bumblebee shuddered. Hot Rod squeezed him comfortingly.
"Bumblebee! Come in, have a look; it's not what you thought." Optimus had appeared at the door, and gestured for him to enter.
Bumblebee continued to shake quietly, and reached for his hand nervously.
"You can open your optics...! It's alright- well, alright-ish."
The small mech was hiding behind the reassuringly large and safe Prime. He felt secure enough to crack open his optics, and saw Megatron and Starscream just... there. Still in the shaft. Same- well, practically the same position, except Starscream looked incredibly battered, and Megatron's interfacing panel had taken what looked like serious damage.
Ratchet watched the scout worriedly. He was shaking his helm, frowning, and narrowing his optics.
He pointed at the Decepticons. "Let me be specific! You suck my battleship- let's do it like they do on the Discovery CHANNEL-"
"Bumblebee?"
"Every penny don't fit the slot- we love our love in different sizes- I can work this thing on top..!."
The yellow Autobot shrieked suddenly, and hurtled towards a window. "And if he's XXL- well, what the hell? We call this the act of mating!"
Optimus managed to grab him around the middle before he managed to reach his target.
"Bumblebee! Calm down! You must have imagined something. It's a somewhat unusual position, that's all-"
Jazz dropped in through the window, and took in the situation. "...Did I miss something?"
Bumblebee twisted round to glare once again at the unsuccessful infiltrators.
"You know, I'd appreciate your input..." Megatron hissed with a smirk.
Was it Bumblebee's imagination, or did Megatron's hips move subtly at this? He couldn't take anymore. Promptly, his processor overloaded.
Optimus cringed as Bumblebee passed out.
Jazz's visor flashed in confusion. "Did I do that?"
"Where the hell were you just now?" Ratchet scowled.
"I was just checking the roof. They did come in from the top down-"
"Wonderful, but that's not so important right now." Optimus handed the limp scout to Ratchet, and glared up at Megatron. "Why are you here?"
"Why do you think?"
"I don't know. It's why I asked."
"ARRG!"
"...Could you possibly get off of Starscream? It's a bit distracting."
Megatron, who was still crouching over the Seeker, growled. "No, I can't!"
"Woah, steady," Jazz sniggered.
"You-!" The Decepticon attempted to explain. "I can't get off-"
"Well, can you get it on...?" Jazz shrieked with laughter as an infuriated cannon blast shot by him.
"I'M GOING TO DESTR-"
Ratchet rolled his optics. "Yeah, yeah. As usual. What's your problem?"
Megatron breathed out deeply. "I am stuck."
"Stuck on youuuuuuuu-" Jazz cackled with glee and backflipped to avoid the extremely fast fusion blast.
Optimus pursed his lips, remembering one of Sideswipe's replies to a question. Above the labs? "Let me guess- a load of wires?"
"YOUR BASE IS IN PATHETIC CONDITION!"
"How do you know that they're not supposed to be there?"
"Whatever, slagger. I'm not going to debate tidiness with you. I cannot get off of this useless piece of USELESS until he unbinds his useless hands, then releases me. Then, I'm going to have to batter him properly for being so useless." He paused and backhanded Starscream as he whined miserably. "Once we are not joined together, this will be simpler. He won't be running anywhere."
This creepy sentence was left an appropriately disturbed silence, only to be broken by a ridiculously cheery Jazz.
"Bind us togetherrrrrrr, Lorrrrrd..."
Megatron's snarl was very final.
Too bad Jazz wasn't in the mood for final.
"I'm bringing sexy back- yeah!"
"...Megatron."
The quietly thoughtful voice intruded upon Megatron's fantasies of tearing the rage-inducing dwarf from limb to limb.
"What, Prime?"
"I have a proposition for you."
"Oh, you do? That's nice."
"Presently, we Autobots are doing something a little different-"
Ah! This must be the SCHEME!
"-and, it might benefit you to join us."
"NNNNNNEEEEEVVVVEEERRRRR!" Megatron roared, jiggling an arm violently in protest.
This movement jostled Starscream, who whimpered unhappily, now unable to object at all.
To his credit, Optimus calmly raised an optic ridge. "You idiot. Not the Autobots."
"Oh. What, then?"
Jazz grinned wickedly, and disappeared quietly. Perhaps it was time to think up some activities.
Ratchet followed, muttering about Bumblebee, Hot Rod and the imagination of youth.
Megatron frowned in concentration as Optimus explained the theory behind the scheme.
His leg was beginning to ache from not moving, so he wiggled it slightly. Finding that he had some leeway, he kicked out a little.
Starscream squawked in feeble protest as his arms were yanked roughly back and forth, and his helm collided several times with the Unicron-forsaken interfacing panel.
Why didn't Primus love him? Why didn't he care? What humiliation. What utter shame.
Megatron snarled viciously from the painful contact with the damaged area, and brutally swung at his second.
Optimus winced in sympathy as Starscream yelped and fell unconscious.
"You were saying?"
Optimus closed his optics. He might regret this. "I think you two should form a team."
"We are a team."
"Correct me if I am mistaken, but you two don't scream team when I see you."
"You're right, we certainly do not. How unthreatening would that sound? Whatever; I'm not being on a team with him."
"You just said you were a team."
"So I lied. Forget it. It's a nancy-pancy Autobot scheme which I shall have no part in. And neither will he."
The flamed Autobot sighed. He could not believe he was about to say this. "...You realise that if you two worked together efficiently, the Decepticon cause would benefit greatly?"
Megatron paused. "How so?"
"Think about it."
Megatron did so. "I concede your point, but no. What would we be doing, anyway?"
Optimus rubbed his helm. "A lot of things are undecided, but there will be a series of challenges to overcome. At the moment, the teams are just getting used to each other by spending plenty of time together."
"...Very well." Clearly Megatron had made a decision. "You obviously won't just let us out of here without consequence, and any consequence that advances the Decepticon cause is acceptable."
"So you'll do it?"
"We will."
Optimus resisted the urge to run around in triumph. "Swear to not kill anyone whilst you're here?"
Darn the mech! "...Fine."
"Or maim anyone?"
"I do." Primus, it hurt to say it.
"Try not to step on humans should you see them?"
Megatron shuddered. "Ugh, humans. You keep them here?"
"I do not keep humans. Some reside here of their own free will." Optimus mentally noted to keep Sam far away from Megatron, regardless.
"Fine."
"Including 'accidentally'?"
"Yes! Happy?"
"I suppose so." Optimus gestured at him. "Do you need a hand?"
"I'm fine."
Seeing the Autobot stare back pointedly, Megatron sighed. "No. I'll just wait for useless here to wake up." He slapped the Seeker, who cringed into consciousness. "Hurry up and untie me, useless."
Starscream shook his helm to try and clear it, and squeaked in pain. Bracing himself, he tried to sit up, but a searing pain shot through him, and he collapsed back with a whimper.
Megatron growled threateningly.
"M-master, I can't-"
"You shall feel my wrath."
"But-"
"It will be painful, swift, and long-lasting-"
"Swift and long-lasting?" Optimus enquired.
Megatron ignored him and narrowed his optics at his Air Commander.
"My liege, I can't-! I-"
Optimus couldn't let this continue. He looked around for a suitable point, grasped the edge of the broken ventilation shaft and pulled himself up.
He crawled over to the Decepticons, and whistled at Megatron's leg. "You sure know how to get tangled well and truly."
"Shut up."
Optimus realised that he couldn't reach Megatron's leg from this angle, and Starscream was blocking the way underneath.
"I'm going to have to lean over the top of you."
"Then hurry up and do it!"
The Autobot carefully crawled as close as he could and found Megatron's aft looming in his face. "...I didn't know you had this etching."
"What etching?" Megatron was confused.
"On your aft. It's in seems to be paint, and says: CAUTION, WIDE LOAD."
"You're making this up."
"Why would I do that? Honestly, it's there, beaming at me."
Starscream choked weakly. This was a big mistake. Megatron snapped his helm down and glared menacingly. "This is your doing."
"I wouldn't do that, my liege...?"
He trailed off unconvincingly as Megatron narrowed his optics and snarled. "You're going to suffer. I'll give you caution."
Optimus kneeled behind his brother. "Here we go."
Ratchet walked back in to collect Bumblebee, who stirred briefly.
Funnily enough, Optimus was nowhere to be seen. Perhaps they had gone-
He glanced up. Ratchet had seen many distressing things in his career. This was plain disturbing.
Okay, so it had been bad enough with Megatron and Starscream, but that was just them.
The disturbing part was his commander mounting his own brother.
"Nearly got it," Prime grunted, straining forwards.
"I can feel it," Megatron murmured, shifting weight from one leg to the other.
Starscream whined and arched his back in anticipation.
Ratchet dropped the wrench he hadn't realised he was wielding- so shocked was he, he could not throw it.
Bumblebee whimpered from the floor. Ratchet quickly dropped to his knees, hoping he wasn't too late, and the scout hadn't been poisoned.
Optimus growled in concentration. "Just a...little further-!"
"Can't we speed this up?" Starscream demanded eagerly.
"You got us into this mess, you glitch. And don't think I've forgotten that you need to be appropriately disciplined."
Ratchet couldn't take anymore. "WHAT THE PIT ARE YOU DOING?"
Optimus jumped in shock and fell over backwards out of the shaft.
Megatron snarled. "Now look at what you've done. Starscream, finish this."
Starscream twisted forwards and yelped as he yanked something.
Ratchet's optics twitched.
Optimus clambered to his feet, rubbing his helm. "That should be the last one."
Megatron nodded with satisfaction, and got to his feet- forgetting that he was in the remains of a ventilation shaft. He smashed his helm into the upper part, and tumbled to the floor with a crash.
"HAHA!" He sprang to his feet and laughed evilly, clenching his claws impressively.
Optimus would not be outdone. He placed his hands on his hips heroically, and nobly lifted his chin, closing his optics valiantly.
"...Optimus."
He cracked open one optic. "Yes, Ratchet?"
Megatron sniggered suddenly, and relaxed his pose. "You lost! You're losing your touch. You used to last for longer than that."
Ratchet faintly remembered two younglings engaging in varying and annoyingly frequent competitions. A common one was the Hold-Your-Pose-And-Make-It-Good contest.
"Not fair!"
"I always used to win, so don't worry."
It was true. As the elder, with the dignity of age and superiority of maturity, Megatron had more patience than the scarily hyperactive Optimus.
"But I won sometimes! I remember it!"
"I felt sorry for you," Megatron scowled. "The distressed look on your faceplates wasn't worth it."
"We're going to be gracious hosts, Ratch. I'll explain on the way to the medbay." Optimus picked up Bumblebee, and all three turned to leave.
Megatron frowned and paused, feeling oddly incomplete. He whirled around to see Starscream still skulking in the ventilation shaft.
"Move yourself, Starscream!"
"No."
"What do you mean, no?"
Starscream shuffled further away. "I'm not coming out just so you can attack me."
"You'd be wise if you did," Megatron replied ominously, not even bothering to lie. "Get down here now."
Starscream cowered in the shaft.
"Don't make me come up there and get you."
Oh, for a flightless Megatron. The Seeker whined, wings twitching frantically.
Megatron saw the indecision and knew he had won. "Now."
Starscream flattened his wings, cautiously crept to the edge and dropped down, almost landing on his face when an injured leg crumpled beneath the sudden burden, leaving him cringing on the ground before Megatron.
He winced in anticipation of harsh word and blows-
"Good boy," Megatron purred. He leant down and scratched one of his wings affectionately, then stood again. He waved a book in Optimus' face as he strode past. "Always make sure they come to you."
A confused Starscream limped heavily to the door, whimpering with each step.
The odd procession headed down the corridor.
They continued for a short distance, but it wasn't much of a secret that Megatron was not the most tolerant of mechs.
Suddenly he stopped walking, and glared at the lagging Seeker.
"Will you stop your incessant whining?"
"It hurts, my liege!"
"Where?"
Ratchet snorted at the question and continued walking with Optimus. "It's going to hurt him everywhere."
Megatron scowled. "Is this true?"
Starscream gave a tiny nod.
There was a deep sigh from the bigger Decepticon.
"I can cope, my lord, I'll stop-"
Megatron retraced his steps to the quivering Seeker and picked him up.
By a wing.
Starscream screeched and writhed in agony.
Optimus watched as Megatron quickly consulted a book, then adjusted his grip to his scruff.
Starscream quietened somewhat.
Megatron continued walking and passed the Autobots as if nothing was as normal as a Starscream dangling from his hand.
Starscream pouted moodily and kicked his legs pathetically. "Will you put me down? I can walk-"
He was dropped immediately. "Then do so."
Wincing, Starscream attempted to get to his feet, but no matter how hard he strained, his legs would not bear him.
He whined in frustration. Megatron glared down at him for a moment, but then his gaze softened.
He gathered the Seeker into his arms carefully and lifted him properly.
Starscream cringed at the contact before realising that his commander meant no harm, and eventually relaxed and snuggled a little into the arms encircling him.
Damn his pride, he couldn't be bothered with it.
It was some time later that Ratchet found himself with nobody to repair.
Red Alert had already reattached Wheeljack's leg, to his dismay. He liked watching the idiot squirm in pain. Well, it was his revenge/reward for having to put up with that infuriating smile of the engineer.
After giving Optimus sufficient grief and scowls enough for a lifetime, he had repaired both Megatron and Starscream.
He had felt like setting Red Alert loose on both of them, but decided against it; it wouldn't be fair to let his junior get close and personal with Megatron's interfacing panel.
And it gave Ratchet plenty of opportunities to reaffirm his reputation.
Upon first inspection-glance at Megatron's injuries, he had jabbed at the panel roughly with a finger.
Megatron had snarled and twitched in discomfort.
"What on Cybertron were you doing to attain this damage?"
"I didn't do anything. Starscream did it."
"You know what? I don't want to know."
Megatron had smirked. "...I'm not MEGA for nothing, medic."
"I'll give you medic, you overgrown femme," Ratchet had smirked disarmingly right back. "You'll remember that you're in my hands."
He then cracked his knuckles and smiled. Megatron had never seen such a smile.
He felt afraid.
Ratchet yawned and sat down in a plushy chair in Bumblebee's room. The scout was still out of it, but he'd be up and about soon.
They were having a discussion about his mental state.
Optimus waved a hand. "Come on, Jazz. He must have imagined it. There's no way he could have seen anything."
Ratchet concurred. "He's young; they have vivid imaginations."
Red Alert, who had been filled in, had another suggestion. "Or, he could have thought that he saw something."
Ratchet silently agreed. After all, he had thought Starscream, Megatron and Optimus had been up to something.
Ironhide had a different opinion altogether. "Then again, he could be telling the truth."
Jazz paused. "It might not be that he's insane."
Optimus sighed. "Explain that, Jazz."
"Wellll... I exited through the window to check out the roof."
"That doesn't mean anythi-" Ratchet hit himself. "How long?"
Jazz wrung his hands guiltily. "I know I shouldn't have done it-"
"How long, Jazz?!"
"A couple of minutes, five at the most-"
Even the Head Of Special Operations couldn't dodge the incredibly accurately and forcefully thrown monitor that an irate Ratchet had just hurled. "YOWCH!"
Ratchet grabbed him by his audio receptor. "You stupid, idiotic- I thought Optimus had been in there from the beginning!"
Optimus stood, hands spread pleadingly. "I must be missing something...! Fill me in, somebody!"
Ratchet snarled and shook the mortified mech, lifting him off of the floor. "Why don't you explain, you responsible type?"
Jazz drooped mournfully. "...Oh, no, that's alright, you ca- ow! Okay!" He seemed to shrink into himself as he addressed Optimus without actually making optic-contact. "...Uh, boss, before you arrived on scene, there was a tiny, little, weeny, miniscule, itsy bitsy- please don't shake me-! ...There was a brief period in which ."
Optimus blinked. "Pardon?"
Ratchet gripped Jazz's scruff firmly, and hoisted him higher into the air. "This excuse for a senior officer left Hot Rod and Bumblebee alone in the same room as Megatron and Starscream. For five minutes."
"Five max...!" Jazz wailed. "They technically weren't in the same room! They were above...?"
Optimus blinked again. Looked at the motionless Bumblebee. Looked at the blank Hot Rod, who was staring holes in the wall.
"JAAAAAAZZ!"
"It wasn't like they did anything! They couldn't move! I reasoned that they couldn't have attacked-"
"You left Bumblebee and Hot Rod in the same room as the two most dangerous Decepticons-!"
"It's not just that that I'm worried about," Ratchet glowered.
Optimus frowned at him.
"Think about innocent young processors, Prime."
Ratchet sighed with relief as Optimus snapped his fingers in realisation, then continued to berate the saboteur. "...Exactly, Jazz! You know how violent they can be towards each other! And especially if Starscream can't get away-"
Ratchet shot a disbelieving glance towards Red Alert.
Ironhide's sigh was momentous.
Even Jazz managed to frown at Optimus incredulously in the middle of his reprimand.
"You'll be lucky if this night hasn't scarred their processors forever-"
Bumblebee woke up screaming. "GOD KNOWS WHERE WE STUCK IT!"
Sam, who had been stretched out asleep next to the mech, howled, snapping awake as his ears were assaulted.
He didn't howl in English.
Megatron burst through the door dramatically. "Who is that speaking? I do not recognise them!"
Optimus slammed down a hand on the bed in an attempt to hide Sam.
"NO ONE is speaking but us," he declared as the human wriggled past him and narrowed his eyes at Megatron.
"Why is he wearing a nappy?"
There was a silence as the Cybertronians consulted the internet.
Megatron glanced down at his freshly-meshed pelvis.
Optimus swallowed a giggle. "He's right, you know. You could be sporting a nappy."
Lennox groaned from his position on Ironhide's shoulder, and pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes. Didn't the kid have any common sense?
Megatron growled and glared at the teenager. "HOLY FRAG! IT'S HIM! I'm going to grasp him so hard that he bursts and his juices flow-"
Sam finally seemed to realise that it was Megatron, and hurled himself off of the berth in an attempt to escape.
In this case, it wouldn't have been very successful, as he would have broken himself in the collision with the floor.
Handily, he had some Autobot friends.
Optimus scooped him up in mid-drop, and held him protectively.
Megatron twitched, then had a sudden processor wave. "Squeeze him."
"Wh- no, Megatron!"
"No, seriously! This isn't about our personal grudge-" With this, the Decepticon's evilles ascended to a new level of Evil. "-honestly, just squeeze him. It's the best fun."
"We'll discuss your hobbies another time," Optimus frowned. "You need to get out more."
"Whatever, youngling. I was partying way before you were even speaking properly. I'll show you-" He lunged for Sam.
"As if!" Optimus clutched Sam to his chassis.
"Give him here!"
"No!"
"Give!"
"Shan't!"
Ratchet and Ironhide were catapulted back through time as they watched the commanders squabble.
Reminiscing was all well and good, but a squashed Sam wasn't.
Ratchet snuck up behind the Decepticon and, unnoticed, tranquilized him. "Megatron, why don't we go and sit down?" he asked, soothingly.
Megatron blinked. "...No. I want the human."
Ratchet upped the dosage and tried again. "How about now?"
Megatron swayed blearily. "Hoo-muhn!"
Rolling his optics, Ratchet injected him yet again, then pushed him towards the door.
This time, there were no complaints. An oddly docile Megatron pattered with Ratchet down the corridor.
"Come on, Megatron," he sighed. "I've things to do tonight."
"'m tired, Ratch," the huge mech yawned, toddling with him.
Yes, toddling.
"I bet you are," the CMO replied.
Megatron suddenly stopped and stared through a window into someone's room.
"What now?"
Megatron's face lit up and he pressed his hands against the glass in awe. "Wowwww..."
"Is it the candyman?" Ratchet wondered dryly.
"Noooo!" Megatron pointed excitedly and clapped. "Ratch, can I have one? Please, please?"
"Have a what...?" Ratchet peered through the glass and saw Starscream lying in the berth. "No, you can't."
"Pleaaaase- I'll be good! I'll look after him!"
Ratchet sighed and tried to tug him away. "He can look after himself, you know."
"But-"
"No buts, Megatron." Ratchet heaved on the arm, but he didn't budge. "Come, now. Don't you want a lie-down?"
"I can lie down in there," Megatron pleaded.
"Definitely not." Ratchet had inspiration. "You can't have him; you've got to look after Optimus, remember?"
Megatron hummed fondly. "Course I do, the little glitch."
He allowed himself to be pulled away into the room next door, where he bounced on the berth excitedly.
Ratchet tucked him up in the blanket, at the same time wondering if he had given the mech tranquilizers or painkillers. Or just drugs of general insanity.
He was about to exit the room when Megatron called out. "Nightnights, Ratchy."
"...Goodnight, Megatron."
He returned to Bumblebee's room, passing Red Alert in the corridor, who was off to check on Wheeljack.
"I hope he's not in pain," the other medic smiled.
Was it just a smile, or was there a slight tinge of glee?
Ratchet shook his helm and opened the door. Could today get weirder?
Ironhide was scratching his helm. "Why, Prime? Why invite them onto our base?"
Optimus, standing at the open window, tilted his helm back and looked to the stars. "...I'd like to think that Megatron still has some goodness within him. Maybe this will help."
Jazz pursed his lips. "You've got to be kidding."
There was unchecked sorrow in his next words. "...I can't just give up on my own brother, Jazz. Would you?"
Jazz thought of all the mechs he considered his brothers. "No, Optimus. I wouldn't."
Ironhide gestured at the sky. "Don't you think you've given him enough chances? Enough endless time and effort? Wasted enough hope?"
Ratchet scowled. "You've gone further for him than anybody could ever expect-"
"Further than anybody else would go for their brother," Ironhide scowled.
"-and suffered more than most Autobots and Decepticons know. But there's a bit of a difference between the leader of the Decepticons, and-"
"Hope is never wasted, and my decision is final. You know I don't use my title much, but if I have to, I will. If it has to be an order, then it will be given."
"...Prowl is going to fritz, you know that?"
Ironhide huffed. "I'm going to fritz. Megatron and Starscream, and I can't shoot them?"
Ratchet shook his helm. "I hope your faith is rewarded, Optimus."
Jazz scratched his audio receptor. Well, whatever. This was sure to be a laugh.
"Bumblebee, there's nothing to worry about," Optimus announced, smiling at the scout. "We'll set up a meeting or something for tomorrow, just us and Megatron and Starscream. We'll sort this misunderstanding out."
The next day... :D
Jazz cringed as Bumblebee and Hot Rod entered the room, the yellow mech freezing at the sight of Megatron and Starscream.
Hot Rod prepared himself as he waited for his teammate to faint again. "Do it now, Bumblebee, before I forget to catch you."
There was silence as they watched for Bumblebee's reaction.
He continued into the room and sat at Team Two's allocated table.
The awkward quiet still reigned. Jazz left, muttering something about needing to find something, followed immediately by Hot Rod.
Eventually, Bumblebee turned round to face both Decepticons.
His gaze lingered on Starscream, optics flitting up and down his frame.
There was a pause whilst his antennae rose slightly.
"Aiiiiiir hostess, I like the way you dress-"
Starscream hurled himself at the scout, howling dementedly.
Optimus watched this display. "That's a point. When did Starscream get a paint job?"
"...When I gave him one."
"I won't ask- but just one question. Why red, blue and white?"
Megatron shrugged. "It struck me as funny, I guess."
"...Could you restrain him, please?"
Megatron pulled a book from subspace and flicked through.
Starscream threw himself at Bumblebee, who was diving beneath tables.
"What are you doing?"
The Decepticon sighed and lowered the novel. "I'm getting tips on how to handle the state of affairs."
Optimus' cheek twitched. "I didn't realise you were such a comedian. If you're just going to sit there, I'll deal-"
"No, you won't. It specifically states the owner should discipline their-"
Starscream managed to catch one of Bumblebee's doorwings and jumped on him, snarling.
"Hurry up and do something, then!"
Megatron sighed, and stood up calmly, walking to the pile. There was a slight pause as he assessed the situation.
Optimus crossed the room to stand nearby, wondering what he was going to do. "...What is he doing to Bumblebee?"
Megatron held out an arm, blocking his path. "He's attempting to show his dominance. It's perfectly normal."
"Well, no, no, no, no!" Seeing his brother look unconvinced, Optimus thought quickly. "If he manages to assert himself on Bumblebee, then he might think he can assert himself on you."
The Decepticon frowned, then nodded. "True."
Optimus managed to scoop the scout away as Megatron grabbed the raging Seeker by the scruff.
"It's okay, Bumblebee. He's not going to hurt you."
Megatron hefted a wriggling Starscream into the air. "No dominating. That was naughty, Starscream."
The Decepticon scowled and bit him.
Megatron hissed. "No!"
This was punctuated by a hard cuff.
Starscream yelped and tried to twist away, but Megatron shook him.
"No biting, no dominating."
Starscream whined unhappily. "He started it!"
"And I finished it, as always." The commander waited for his subordinate to droop, then dropkicked him. "Get back to your seat."
"One second, Megatron," Optimus appealed as Starscream smashed into the wall opposite. He turned to Bumblebee, who was nursing a damaged arm. "You know why this happened? Because you said something cruel to Starscream. That's what happens when you're bad."
Bumblebee pouted.
Optimus pressed on. "You shouldn't have done it, though, should you? No, you shouldn't. It was mean of you. Say sorry."
Megatron beckoned a scowling Starscream over, and Bumblebee glared at him.
Optimus nudged the scout gently. "Do it."
"...Je ne regrette rien!"
Starscream growled, tensing.
Bumblebee's optics narrowed. "Push it out, fake a-fst- scream-fst- avert disaster, just in time-"
Optimus sighed and turned the yellow mech to face him. "Bumblebee, listen to me. Nothing happened. You imagined it."
"-she didn't want to, he had his way- shut your mouth, we're gonna do it my way-"
Starscream leapt forwards with a snarl, but Megatron managed to grab him mid-leap and threw him to the floor, pinning him there with the mere force of his gaze. "What did I just say?"
"-say who's your daddy, who puts you in your place-"
Optimus uselessly clamped a hand over Bumblebee's mouth. "He doesn't know what he's saying- young minds, eh...?"
He laughed nervously.
Megatron sensed that Starscream was preparing to spring, so he stamped on him. "Stop it."
"Get down, get down- stay down, stay down for daddy!"
Optimus exhaled heavily and shook his helm. "They were too busy attacking each other, Bumblebee. You saw how badly Starscream was injured, didn't you? He was nearly-"
"-talks back to me, and I slap her- she falls unconsciously, and I tap her-"
Megatron raised an optic ridge. "This is getting somewhat ludicrous, Optimus."
Starscream growled and strained to get up from the floor.
"I have an idea," Megatron declared.
"Are you hungry for a little more than what you had before-?"
"I suggest we discuss it without such interruptions."
Optimus nodded, and pushed Bumblebee out of the door. "Bumblebee, I think Jetfire and Wheeljack are doing something with Sam. Running some tests to see if they can work out what's going on in his mind. Why don't you go give him some support? Not to mention bodyguarding from explosions," he added thoughtfully.
Bumblebee rocketed away.
Optimus turned back to Megatron. "What was that book you were reading?"
"Ah, it's my secret."
"Come on...! What's it about?"
Everything, really," Megatron admitted.
"Is it a series?"
"I don't know. Probably."
Starscream whined. Megatron remembered that he was still recovering from heavy damage, so he promptly picked him up and carried him out.
"Where are you going?" Optimus asked, bewildered.
Starscream growled and wriggled, but Megatron didn't let go. "Medbay," he replied.
Optimus sighed, and decided that he'd go check on Sam as well. He might as well see what all the explosions were about.
He was approaching the labs when he heard a sudden shout from the teenager. With a frown, he sped up.
Jetfire sounded very worried. "Wheeljack, what does it even do?"
Optimus could just tell Wheeljack was giving his Reassuring Smile. "Nothing much."
Unfortunately, Optimus remembered too late that the Reassuring Smile was assuredly followed by Doom.
He entered the labs just in time to see Bumblebee dive in the way of a tendril of light speeding for Sam.
When it hit his armour, it expanded, licking over the metal and spreading like wildfire, heating up and sparking aggressively.
Sam threw up a hand to protect his eyes but found Optimus was already shielding him.
The bots watched, frozen in shock, as the searing blaze suddenly raged around the yellow mech until they could see him no more.
The heat abruptly receded and all that was out of place was the soft blue light dancing- for there was no other word for it- around Bumblebee.
As the light faded, Optimus' fingers slowly uncurled from around Sam, who blinked in the sudden light.
"Oh, bummer..." Jetfire voiced his brilliant thoughts.
"Wheeljack." Optimus bit his lip. "You've got some explaining to do."
Deleted Scene
"Choo won't be findin' no ninja, cause youse too..." Skids dared to look both Lamborghini twins up and down. "...bright."
"For a moment there, I thought you were going to amaze us with some incredible wit," Sunny hissed, whirling to face the equally vivid twosome.
"Hey, Skids. Dat's not true."
"What 'choo chattin'?"
"I's chattin' dat youse can be's brights. Dere's dat ninja dat's orange."
"Orange? Dat's stoopid, Muds."
There was a slight pause. "...Yeah, it is."
Sideswipe sighed. Sunny flung his hands in the air in exasperation.
Skids hit his brother. "You foo'! Dat's not th'line!"
Mudflap drooped. "F'got! I'm sorry!"
Hot Rod yawned. "You have to feel your lines. You're clearly not in character."
Sunny shook his helm. "What the Pit do you mean, in character? We ARE the characters!"
Bumblebee sprang between them. "CUT!"
The twins all folded their arms and glared.
"It's their fault!"
Bumblebee frowned at Mudflap. "Remember the words I wrote to you!"
"Soz, 'bee. I's go through script more properly next times."
Bumblebee narrowed his optics and thrust a script at him. "Check it out now-!"
This prompted a break, and the set slowly emptied, except for the Corvette twins and one other.
Sunny walked to Prowl's berth. "Hey, Prowlie. We're on break, so you can stretch for a bit. ...Prowlie?"
Sides took a look, and gently nudged the unresponsive black and white. "I don't believe this. Is he recharging?"
Sunny gaped suddenly. "IS HE DEAD?"
They hurriedly checked for vital signs, but couldn't find any. "NOOO! PROWLIE! PRRRROOOOOWLLIIIIIIIIIIE!"
"RATCHET! RED ALERT! HURRRY!"
No one came.
"It's too late. He's ...gone, Sides." Sunny covered his mouth with a hand, and his chassis shook with emotion.
Sideswipe bit his lips, then sighed, and went to sit by Prowl. "I can't believe it. He was scowling at us not long ago-! ...At least it's not so bad. At least- he does look happy, Sunny."
"So peaceful," Sunny agreed, gently taking one of Prowl's hands.
His twin took the other, and they sat there quietly for a moment.
"I can't believe I never saw it before. He's so beautiful, Sunny! Just look at him!"
The yellow mech sounded choked up as he responded. "I know, Sides. I know! ...He looks just like he's about to- to frown and tell us off-!"
Sideswipe began to sniffle. "Oh, Primus. Look at me, crying."
"It's okay, Sides. He's happy now...! Just think, he'll be in some kind of office, surrounded by paperwork, and he'll be smiling as he processes lots of complicated data. See him swivelling on his chair, twirling round and round as mountains of data-pads are piled around him, ordered meticulously-"
Sunny broke off in a sob, and Sides quickly grabbed him in a hug. "He'd want us to remember him that way. We'll work through this for Prowlie. We'll make him proud!"
Suddenly, Ratchet arrived and eyed the situation. He frowned and stepped forwards. "...What are you doing?"
"Prowlie's gone, Ratchet!"
Ratchet screwed up his face. "Gone? What do you mean, gone? He's right there!"
Red Alert followed him. "Ratchet took the liberty of sedating him."
"What!? He's on set! He can't be sedated!"
Ratchet snarled at Sides. "Can. He doesn't have any lines, remember? Besides, if he just had to lie there, and wasn't allowed to do anything but listen to you idiots argue, he'd probably self-terminate."
"Bumblebee!" Sunny appealed. "Come on!"
The director shrugged. "...best thing 'bout tonight is that we're not fighting-"
Ratchet sniffed. "Consider it a favour to Prowl, anyway. He's not fritzing, he's not worried, he's doesn't even have to hear you snarl over the top of him. Look. He's not even frowning."
They looked at the second in command.
Sunny sighed, and Sides sniffed. "You know what?"
"What, bro?"
"This all goes to show that we need to spend more time with Prowlie."
"Yep. You don't know what you've got till it's gone."
"We can't lose Prowlie."
"No way... hey, if we're with him every moment, we can protect him from random hazards."
"Agreed, brother."
Ratchet scratched his helm. Oh boy. How was he going to explain this one to Prowl?
OOOOH! GCSE RESULTS! They're coming! TOMORROW! I'm excited. And apprehensive. xD Aaand annoyed at my school. 11 till 1. That's the teeny weeny time period we have to collect them. What REJECTS.
I'm going to set Megatron on them. He'll deal with them for me.
...One of my fingers just died. It simply doesn't work anymore.
And you lazy SWINES, review! I don't put myself to the trouble of writing these finger-killing chapters so that you beasts can just press the tempting X-thing.
*waves flaccid and amusingly limp finger* See? SEE?!
Hmph. (Sulks quietly)
I just had a plot bunny hurl itself at my face, shrieking that I should do deleted scenes for the movies.
(mind drifts)
OMG, yes. One more thing.
I've had plenty of ideas that I can't fit it into this fic. So, so I'm kind of writing a separate piece to compliment this one. I'm thinking of entitling it: How To Take Care Of Your Seeker.
Hm. I wonder what it's about. xD Well, there'll be some dude called Megatron. And a sparkling Starscream. And lots and lots and lots of... fluff and xD moments, I hope.
What do you think? Would you like it up? xD
Speak to me, gang!