UPDATE: 7/11/2019

A/N: To any old readers who may be rereading this, I decided to do something different. Madison can speak German and she uses that ability of hers. Starting from this chapter, any conversation she has in German will be in English italics. It's convenient and easy for all involved.

When silence took over, she opened her eyes. It was dark, silent, and she knew that she had been crying, confirming it herself when she lifted a hand to her cheek. She could feel the wetness mixing in with the dirt.

With eyes wide open, Madison found herself observing where she was at. She was in a foxhole with Lipton and Luz. She remembered that had just been with Skip and Alex just moments prior, right before their untimely demise.

Warren Muck and Alex Penkala were dead.

Lipton, Luz, and Madison were all sitting in the foxhole, shivering. It was freezing, especially with no winter coats. Moments after the three soldiers realized what had happened, there was a sudden, high pitched whistle coming down towards them. Madison closed her eyes, hoping that their death was quick. They were going to die, at least, she hoped she would die.

The odds were not in Madison's favor. The shell that had hit their foxhole was a dud, not exploding upon impact.. Lipton, Luz, and Madison all stared at it in silence.

Madison began to cry, quieter this time. She felt someone wrap their arms around her. She didn't push away. Instead, she buried herself against their chest, crying.

It was much later when everyone gathered around Skip and Alex's foxhole. Madison could only stare at it in silent horror, clutching to the remains of Skip's rosary in her left hand, which was snug in her pocket. She wasn't going to let it out of reach. That was all that was left of Skip, as he and Penkala were blown into bits. That was something that Madison was not going to forget easily.

Luz's screaming was finally starting to sink in Madison's brain. Muck and Penkala; Skip and Alex...they were gone. The thought brought tears to her eyes instantly. No more...she—

"Has anyone told Malarkey?" One of the men asked. Madison's head snapped up, looking into the distance, eyes wide and bloodshot. Fuck, she was so wrapped up in her own grief she had forgotten about Don.

"I'll tell him," Madison spoke up. All eyes turned to her.

"Are you sure?" Lipton asked her. He thought this was too much for the young woman. She's lost a good portion of her friends in such a short amount of time. He was wondering if she was even functioning properly at the moment.

"I'll do it," Madison answered gravely, a certain edge in her voice. With no more to say, she marched away to find Malarkey. It didn't take her long, as she had found him standing off to the side of a jeep, smoking a cigarette. He looked well, but that was going to change quickly.

"Don?" Madison found herself asking, her voice hollow as she walked towards him. Her grip on the rosary in her left pocket was as strong as death itself.

Don looked up, ready to greet Madison but he saw that devastating, traumatic look in her eyes. She was shaking, and Don knew that it wasn't from the cold. Something was wrong. "Maddie?"

Madison stared at him. She gave him an uncomfortable smile, then a nervous chuckle. This was going to be bad.

"Well, Don," Madison could feel her throat tightening up, her voice quieter. "Something...something happened to Skip and Alex."

Don's eyes showed his alarm. "Are they alright?"

Madison shook her head. This was going to be hard to say, but she had to say it now.

"No," Madison said, swallowing thickly. "No, uh...Don...Don, they, they're...they're um—"

"Madison, what happened?"

"They died," Madison said hastily before covering her mouth with her right hand, tears flowing freely as she let out an ugly sound. It all happened so fast. Saying that her two friends, her two brothers, saying that they died...it reopened a wound too raw.

"Don, I'm—I'm so sorry. I was—I was there and-and—"

Madison was beginning to hyperventilate. She couldn't speak clearly. Malarkey was quick to move and wrap his arms around her, pulling her into him as she cried. As Madison cried, Don was silent. It would be much later, no one was sure when, until his own tears over the loss of Muck and Penkala were shed.

I should have been there with them. I should I have died. I should have died with them.

These thoughts plagued the young medic's mind as she found herself leaning against Luz. She had a hard time closing her eyes. She was having trouble sleeping.

She was there - right there! She was right in that foxhole with them. She had missed death within seconds. She had gotten lucky, her friends didn't.

No more Skip and Alex. No more Muck and Penkala. No more of them poking fun at her. No more of them telling them stories of home. No more of the rowdy trio, the rowdy quartet. No more hope. No more talk of Ruth, of sweet Faye Tan—

Oh, Jesus. Skip was an engaged! He was supposed to marry the girl of his dreams! He—

Madison couldn't take it anymore. She started to choke up; crying so hard that she was shaking.

"Dorothy?" Luz asked.

"Shut up!" Madison yelled. She had thought Luz had said "Ruthie". Ruthie, Skip's younger sister who was the same age as Madison. Ruthie, who would never see her big brother again. It was all too much for Madison.

Luz was silent for a moment before he spoke up again.

"I'm sorry," Luz whispered, but Madison didn't register his words. She was too busy wrapped up in her emotions.

"Hey, Madison. Maddie. Hey," Luz was trying to grab the young girl's attention but was failing to do so. He couldn't get her to listen with words. Eventually, he grabbed the arm closest to him firmly, but not too rough. Madison's head whipped in his direction.

"What?" she snapped, sounding desperate. "What do you want?"

"Talk to me," Luz requested. "Tell me what's wrong."

"You know what's wrong," Madison bit.

Luz gave her a pointed look, something Madison thought she would ever see. The young medic couldn't help but shy away from it. She didn't want to look at him.

"You're thinking about them," Luz stated.

"Is it that obvious?" Madison asked, still not looking at him.

Yes, Luz thought, but did not dare to say it out loud.

Madison sniffed. "Skip was supposed to get married," she said. "But he's gone...him and Alex both."

It was quiet between the two friends. Luz watched his petite friend, waiting patiently for her to say more.

"I was supposed to die...I was supposed to be there. But I-I wasn't and now I'm-I'm—"

Luz wrapped his arm around Madison as she began to choke up again. The young girl leaned into his touch, not pushing him away. Luz couldn't find himself to say anything. Neither could Madison. What can you say to something that was horrific?

Madison was scribbling furiously in her journal when she heard the footsteps crunching in the snow. God, she hated it. The snow, that is. She never wanted to see it ever again but unfortunately, she was still stuck in these woods. (Not to mention that it snowed in the Midwest. If she ever returned home, she was going to have a meltdown for sure.)

"Klein?"

After jotting down the last sentence, Madison looked up to see Lipton. She offered a small, serene smile.

"Hello, Sergeant. How are you?"

"I should be asking you that," Lipton said, as he sat down next to her. "What are you doing?"

"Writing to my boyfriend," Madison said, not missing a beat. Lipton's interests perked up at that. He didn't know Madison had a man.

"You have a boyfriend?" he asked.

"No," Madison answered in a serious tone. Lipton couldn't help but give a small laugh at that. Even if she was suffering, she could still find ways to joke around. "I am writing, though. Writing helps me clear my thoughts."

Lipton nodded.

"I'm fine, by the way."

Lipton knew she was lying but didn't dare to push her. He knew from experience that it never ended well.

"We're going to attack Foy tomorrow," Lipton brought up. "We think it's best if you sat out for this one. Take a break."

Madison said nothing. Not at first.

"Okay," she eventually said, quiet and calm. She wasn't going to fight it. Part of her wanted to, but the other part of her told her to keep quiet; take a break. She knew that Lipton and the others wanted her to take a time out and for their sake, she'll try to do so. It won't be easy, but maybe it would be okay to just sit back. What could happen?

It was rough, but Easy was able to take Foy from the Germans.

In the middle of the fight, Dike was relieved of duty. He was replaced by First Lieutenant Ron Speirs of Dog Company, who had merged in with Easy over the last couple of weeks.

Speirs was a legend, so to speak. Everyone respected him, no questions asked. They were all intrigued with him, especially after he had run out into the field to take over Dike's position. Speirs had even run through the German fire to connect with I Company, before rushing to Easy. That was something you did not see every day.

The men celebrated their victory. They had also collected around one hundred POWs, which Madison was ordered to be a translator for, as well as to treat any wounds they had. It was easy work. She ignored the chatter of the POWs, although they weren't very talkative to begin with.

As Madison was making sure everything with her section was going smoothly, shots rang in the air. Immediately everyone took cover. Madison grabbed the last POW that was still with her and shoved him behind one of the buildings so neither one could get hit.

"Sniper. Don't move," Madison ordered. The POW nodded hastily. Madison took a risk and peered out to see where the sniper was coming from. She couldn't see a thing from where she was at.

"He's in the attic," the POW confessed. Madison looked back to him.

"The attic?" she repeated. The POW nodded.

"Alright," she muttered so low that only she could hear herself. She grabbed the POW by the collar of his uniform. "Walk out there. If the sniper sees you, he won't shoot. We won't shoot you, either."

The POW complied. He walked out into the field with his hands up in a surrender. The shooting seemed to stop with not only him out in the field, but Lipton had run out as well. Madison watched the scene. She watched as Shifty finally shot down the German sniper.

Madison sighed in relief. Thank God for Shifty Powers. He never missed a shot.

Three days later, after taking two more villages, Easy Company took shelter in a convent. It had been two months since Easy was in a building and it was paradise compared to the outside.

The men all sat in the pews of the convent, doing various things. Mostly, the men were sleeping, praying, relaxing, or staring off into space.

Madison was sitting next to Perconte, who was laying on top of a board that was propped up over a few sections of a few pews. During the siege of Foy, Perconte was shot in the ass. (That had to make at least six who have been shot there, which included Popeye, Buck, Bill, and Speirs.) Her arm was propped up on the board; her head propped on her fist. She stared off into space, into the candlelight as she vaguely listened to the sisters of the convent sing. They had beautiful voices.

Madison locked herself away in silence. In two months, Easy Company had lost so many. There were only sixty-eight members left. When they entered Belgium, there were almost one hundred and fifty of them.

Fucking Dike.

Madison hated that man. He was awful at his job; he failed them all. He got a good majority of the men killed or wounded. Madison wanted him to be dead. He should have taken their places. She knew she shouldn't think like this but fuck it. So many good men were dead, and it was because of that man, the man who made no decisions.

It was then when Madison made a vow. She promised that if she ever saw that man again, she would slap him so hard that he would be able to see all the stars in the universe.

Speaking of prayer, Madison began to do so when most of the men were sleeping. She had gotten up from her spot and walked over to one of the statues the convent had. She knelt down and began to pray. She recited all the prayers she could think of, before forming her own thoughts.

Holy Mary, Mother of Christ; God; It's been a rough, rough time. I have lost all hope. I have lost the will to live. It has been a rough two months. Joe Toye and Bill Guarnere both lost their legs. Buck was taken off the line. So many men were killed. So many of them, including Skip and Alex. Those two...they were my brothers. My brothers in every way but blood. God, if you're there, please look after them, and please look after their families. I promise to write to them soon, I'm just not sure when. What do I even say to them? I can't help but feel guilty, incredibly so. I was with them, I was in that foxhole with them but then I got out. I got out, they didn't. I lived, they died. I don't know how I can live the rest of my life, knowing I should be blown to smithereens with them. Why wasn't I blown to smithereens with them?

We're moving out tomorrow, and I can't help but feel grateful. We are finally getting out of this hell. I've had enough of snow. I never want to see winter again. Not when it's taken so many of my friends away from me.

In the name of the Father, and the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.