Long time no see, but here I am again. For some reason I found it very difficult this time to put the finishing touches to this chapter...
14. Struck by Lightning
Lucy delayed her return home as long as possible. At first, she went back straight away, but then couldn't bring herself to actually set foot into the house. The thought of walking in on Wyatt when he was all over Jessica, making out with her, or even worse, was too excruciating.
Maybe she should have accepted his offer to use a hotel after all instead of letting him taint her own home. How was she supposed to live there from now on when she knew that Wyatt and Jessica have found their way back to each other in this very place?
Undecided what to do next, Lucy had been sitting in her car for quite some time already when Florence began to get awfully cranky out of boredom. Startled, Lucy hurried to get up and attend to her daughter's needs.
"Sorry honey," Lucy said as she freed her from the restrains of her seat. "I was a little distracted, I guess."
"Daddy!" Florence at once shouted with glee, pointing behind Lucy when she scrambled down onto the sidewalk.
Alarmed, Lucy wheeled around, afraid that Wyatt had caught her lingering around in front of the house for what felt like an eternity. But he was nowhere to be seen, so Lucy assumed that Florence simply had recognised her surroundings and knew that she would find him here.
It broke her heart thinking that he probably wouldn't be staying with them much longer after today, and that Florence soon would have forgotten a life in which both her parents were living in the same place. She had no doubt that Wyatt would spend as much time as possible with the little girl, especially now that he apparently had come to full terms with his unexpected fatherhood, but it wouldn't be the same anymore. Lucy was sure that in just a few weeks Florence wouldn't expect to see him here anymore when they returned home.
The thought saddened her more than she dared to admit. Tears were starting to run down her cheeks again, and Lucy quickly grabbed Florence's hand to drag her away from the house. "We are not going home yet," she told her determined, brushing the tears away just to make room for new ones. "How about we are going for a little walk instead? To get some fresh air?"
"Okay," Florence mumbled as she went along cooperatively, but stumbled several times over her own feet as she continued to look back.
Lucy felt awfully guilty that she was making the little girl wandering aimlessly around the neighborhood at this late hour, but she couldn't face Wyatt yet. And not just because she dreaded the confirmation that he and Jessica have rekindled relationship, but also because the tears were still coming, and there was no way she was going to let him see how upset she was due to all of this.
At first Florence didn't seem to mind their unexpected stroll, and even insisted on walking on her own, but soon she got tired and Lucy had to carry her.
About an hour later, Florence had fallen asleep in her arms already, Lucy was pretty exhausted herself and longed for her comfortable bed. It was also getting rather cold all of a sudden and the tiny hands around her neck felt like ice by now.
"Okay," she murmured defeated, gently changing the sleeping girl from one side to the other, "That's it, we are going home."
xxx
It was getting late and Wyatt's initial worries had grown into real fear over the curse of the last hour. Where was she?
He tried to call her again, but like his previous attempts, she either didn't notice, or she was ignoring him. He hoped it wasn't the latter. Not that he would blame her after his behaviour, but it didn't seem like something she would do and therefore only added to his worries.
When the time approached 10 pm, and he still hadn't heard from her, Wyatt contemplated to call Carol instead. He wondered if Lucy would spend the night at her house without telling him. Or had she told him and he just didn't pay attention? After all, he had been a little distracted this morning.
It didn't really matter, he decided, he would get it over with and call her mother, accept the lecture that surely was in store for him, and then would demand, or more likely beg, that he could talk to Lucy.
Not exactly happy with his plan, but determined to get through with it anyway, he turned around to look for Carol's number in the office, and immediately jumped in fright.
"I can't believe that you actually made the cookies," Lucy remarked astounded.
"God damn it, Lucy!" Wyatt gasped, clutching his chest as if that gesture would help calm his wildly beating heart down. "Stop sneaking up on me like this."
"Sorry," she mumbled sheepishly.
"It's okay," Wyatt said breathless, staring at her as if he was seeing her for the very first time. And maybe that wasn't that far-fetched from the truth either, he certainly had never seen her with this unwavering certainty that he was completely in love with her. Her cheeks were slightly flushed as if she had spent quite some time in the cold, and her hair was an unruly mop, possibly due to the wind. In other words, he thought she looked stunning. He wanted to tell her that, but when he opened his mouth, something entirely else came forth.
"I kissed Jess," he blurted out before he could stop himself and immediately cringed after the words had left his lips. This was not how he had wanted her to find out about it. In fact he had debated if he should reveal this faux pas to her at all, even though he knew it was the right thing to do. Hell, even Jessica had known that he would tell her eventually. He just wished he had done it differently.
"Uh, okay," Lucy said, averting her eyes from him and focused them on their sleeping daughter in her arms instead.
"I'm really sorry Lucy!" Wyatt hurried to append as he watched her laying Florence carefully down onto the sofa and wrap a blanket around her. "I swear I didn't mean for that to happen, I was just …" he trailed off, unsure how he should explain himself.
"In the moment?" Lucy suggested, sounding incomprehensible calm.
Wyatt grimaced at that comment. "Rather caught up in the past, I think," he rectified grimly.
"Don't be sorry about it, Wyatt. It was meant to happen sooner or later, wasn't it? After all, you never stopped loving her, and now she is suddenly back in your life," Lucy said hastily, putting up a brave front. "So I guess everything worked according to plan, I mean this is what this meeting today was all about, wasn't it? I'm happy for you."
"Yeah, but … Lucy I…" he breathed. She was right of course, that had been the plan, Wyatt had to admit contritely. Not exactly his plan though, but he did go along with it. And he also couldn't deny that he had been looking forward to it, that he actually had thought for a while that this was what he truly wanted. Until the kiss at least, that's when he knew how awfully wrong he had been.
Lucy neither heard his feeble protest nor did she notice his inner turmoil. "I wouldn't know of course, I've never been in love," she babbled on, talking faster and faster by the minute now and unknowingly breaking Wyatt's heart with her announcement. "So I can only imagine what it is like to love someone like you love Jessica, or having someone reciprocate said love. I guess that must be a great feeling, though I'm hardly entitled to have my own opinion on the matter as I've never experienced being loved by someone so intensely either."
"Lucy, stop it!" Wyatt interrupted her forcefully, not able to endure the way she was degrading herself any longer. He had always hated how she talked so detached about the concept of love as if it wasn't part of her life, but hearing her confirm it now, in this very moment, made his heart clench up painfully. He longed to just shut her up by kissing her senseless, or at least hug her so tightly that she would never feel alone, or unworthy ever again, but all he dared to do was apologise again. "I'm so sorry. It shouldn't have happened."
"Well, she is your wife …," Lucy deflected his apology at once.
"That is the thing," Wyatt groaned in frustration. "In this reality she isn't my wife, but you are!"
"Wyatt, it is okay, I get it," Lucy assured him toneless, her expression distant and cold. "You don't have to explain it."
"No Lucy," Wyatt growled dissatisfied, his voice raised in anger now that she wouldn't listen to what he was trying to tell her. "This isn't right. No matter why, I shouldn't have done that. And she shouldn't have done that either, for Christ sake. For her I am a married man, regardless how phony this marriage might be."
The moment he said this, he already regretted it. He could only guess how these words had sounded to Lucy, but judging by her reaction, it didn't come off the way he had intended it to. His intention had been to tell her that he made a huge mistake, but at the same time, he also wanted to assure her that he was aware that their marriage wasn't real, and she didn't have to feel pressured or forced to be his wife if she didn't want to. But clearly he had done a poor job in doing so, Wyatt realised as he saw her face fall.
To him it didn't make a difference if their marriage was real or not, his feeling for her were, he had never been more sure of it, and that was what truly mattered, wasn't it? But then why wasn't he able to just tell her that? In his mind this conversation had been so much easier. There had been a lot less shouting, for starters, namely none, but a lot more honesty and a few heartfelt confessions. At least on his part.
Once or twice Wyatt had even dared to add a kiss or two into these various scenarios when he played them out while he waited for her to come home.
He gave an exasperated scoff at his foolishness, he should have known this would never happen.
"I uhm, I think I'm going to bed now," Lucy eventually announced sadly, "It was a long day and I'm really tired."
"Yeah, okay," Wyatt said just as despondent. He watched her go and even though everything in him screamed to hold her back, he didn't act on it. He briefly closed his eyes and went over everything he just had said to her. It was a complete disaster, nothing went the way he imagined it would, and it was entirely his fault.
"Daddy?" a soft voice interrupted his dismal thoughts. Startled, Wyatt turned around and, to his surprise, found Florence standing on the sofa, holding herself upright by grabbing onto the backrest. She tiredly blinked at him before she stretched her arms out so that he could pick her up.
Wyatt growled deeply at the sight. They really were the worst parents in the universe. He for once had completely forgotten about the sleeping child on the sofa, and he could only assume that Lucy had as well, otherwise she wouldn't have left the room just like that.
Luckily, the sofa still served as his nightly resting place, so he would have found her there eventually, but the thought alone that she might have turned over in her sleep and had fallen off it in the process, gave Wyatt a major scare in hindsight.
And if forgetting about her hadn't been bad enough already, they also once more had been fighting right in front of her, even though she fortunately slept through it this time. All of this crap had to stop. They really had to be more careful with her from now on.
Feeling immensely guilty, he wordlessly picked her up and hugged her as close as possible to his chest without hurting her. "I'm so sorry, baby girl," he murmured, before tenderly kissing her cheek. "I didn't mean to forget about you! Let's get you to a proper bed now."
Contented, Florence snuggled her head into the crook of his neck, and didn't seem to mind at all that he didn't exactly classify as a proper bed.
"Okay listen," Wyatt whispered into the curls of his tired daughter when he slowly made his way upstairs, "You and I have to be irresistible cute from now on so that we can win Lucy over with our natural charm. And yes, I'm afraid you will have to do most of the work, 'cause, let's admit it, you are way cuter and much more irresistible than I am. But it's important that we both pull together here, otherwise we are going to lose her completely."
"Well, I'm going to lose her," he added as an afterthought, "There is absolutely no chance that she is going to give you up."
x
Lucy felt like he had slapped her across the face while simultaneously stabbing her into the heart and twisted the knife.
Of course she knew that their marriage wasn't real, and that he didn't like her in that way, but it hurt nevertheless hearing him say this out loud. But that alone hadn't even been the worst of it, no, it was the way he said, as if the concept alone was ridiculous to think about.
How could he mock their relationship like this? Phony, he had called it. As if it was only a bad joke to him. And that after she had tried everything to help him get his real wife back.
Lucy was so absorbed in her sorrow that she at first didn't hear the voice through the baby monitor on her bed-side table. His voice!
And when she did notice it, she couldn't make out what he was saying, but he seemingly was talking to someone, which either meant that he was on the phone, or he was talking to…
With a jolt, Lucy sat up in her bed. Florence! She had completely forgotten about her in her need to get away from Wyatt. How could she forget about her little girl? Maybe she wasn't as ready to be a mother as she had thought she was. After all, she had not only forced her daughter to spend an unnecessarily long time outside in the cold today, but then she also forgot to put her to bed. What kind of mother did that?
Who was she kidding? She couldn't do this on her own. If it hadn't been for Wyatt, everything would have gone down the drain by now, probably already at the very first day. He was always there to pick up her slack. She needed him, Florence needed him, they were lost without him. This realisation caused a new flood of tears run down her cheeks.
"This has to stay between us though," Wyatt's voice became suddenly much louder and clearer, probably because he was currently standing right next to the baby monitor. "At least for now. You can't tell Lucy about this, okay?" he murmured.
At once, Lucy stopped crying and started to listen intently. What wasn't she supposed to know?
"Did you know that I actually asked her out to dinner," Wyatt told Florence then, "I mean, well, maybe not in the most obvious way, but my intention to spend more time with her was clear, I think. But then, and I have absolutely no idea what I did wrong, because I had been so sure that she felt something for me, she suddenly bolted." Wyatt gave a short chuckle at that, and Lucy's heart dropped again. "Anyway, I promise you that I won't give up on her," Wyatt continued, sounding very serious and determined now. "I know I have to be careful, but I simply have to try, or I will always regret it. It probably won't be easy, considering everything that has happened between us, but she is worth it."
After that, Wyatt didn't say anything else, and just a moment later, Lucy could hear him pass her bedroom on his way back down.
So he had been lying to her, Lucy realised with a pang, so much for I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done this and I'm not a cheater. Fine, it probably was awkward trying to court your previous wife right in front of your current wife, but it wasn't like Lucy had given him any reason to think that she wasn't supportive of him, was it? So why would he lie to her? If possible, this new kind of betrayal felt even worse than his mocking of their so called marriage, because this time it was really about them. He had always been open to her about his feelings for his wife, but now, all of a sudden, he didn't even trust her with the truth any longer. So what did that mean for their friendship then?
xxx
The next morning, Lucy woke up due to loud cries sounding from the baby monitor. Instantly she was wide awake and on her feet, hastening over to Florence's room. To both her relieve and chagrin, Wyatt was already there, picking the little girl up just as she entered.
"What's wrong with her?" Lucy asked worried, trying to avoid looking too closely at Wyatt, who was only wearing boxers, revealing every toned muscle of his bare abdomen to her.
Maybe it wasn't such a bad thing if he moved out soon, Lucy thought agonized, then at least she wouldn't have to deal with such a torturous sight any longer.
"I don't know?" he said, checking their daughter for injuries. When he couldn't find any obvious source for Florence's misery, he started to cuddle her closer to his body and rocked her gently while whispering soothing words into her ear. But nothing seemed to help.
Florence tried to tell them something between heart-wrenching sobs, but neither Lucy nor Wyatt could make out what it was.
"Here," Wyatt sighed, handing the girl over to Lucy, "Maybe you have more luck with her this morning."
"I doubt that," Lucy mumbled, knowing very well that usually he was much better at calming her down than she was. Nevertheless, she was glad for the distraction. Even if it meant that Florence was loudly crying right into her ears now.
"Lucy, where is this ugly bear-doll thingy?" Wyatt asked suddenly, turning over the pillow and blanket in Florence's bed in case he missed it.
"I don't know," Lucy admitted. "I haven't seen it since yesterday morning. You don't honestly think that is why she is upset."
"Wanna bet?" Wyatt asked grimly, looking around the floor now and even checked the drawers of the changing table and the wardrobe.
"That is ridiculous," Lucy insisted, "Most of the time she hardly pays attention to it anymore."
"Yes, because we keep her occupied during the day," Wyatt said wisely, "But you know as well as I do that she wants it as soon as she is in bed."
"What if you are wrong though?" Lucy asked still unconvinced that a missing toy could cause this kind of reaction. "What if she is hurting somewhere and we are wasting precious time by looking for it."
"Let's find out," Wyatt said determined and took the still crying Florence out of Lucy's arms again.
Curious, but also rather bewildered how he was going to do this without having the actual object of desire at hand, Lucy watched him when he once more cuddled Florence against his chest. But this time he didn't attempt whispering words of comfort to her, but started humming Florence's favourite lullaby, and surprisingly it worked. Florence visibly calmed down and rested her head against his shoulder.
"See?" Wyatt said quickly before he started humming again. "Think Lucy, when and where have last you seen that thing?"
"Honestly, I'm not sure, I … Oh god, I think I left it at my mother's," Lucy suddenly exclaimed.
xxx
And so Lucy was on her way back to Carol Preston with an oppressive feeling. She was sure that her mother could spot right away that something was wrong. Thanks to Amy, she had been lucky enough to escape her piercing look and the sharp questions the day before, but today she probably wouldn't get away so easily.
"Lucy! Please wait!" a voice called after her. It sounded vaguely familiar, but she couldn't place it until she turned around. Lucy cursed her lucky stars when she spotted Jessica on the opposite side of the street, waiting for a car to pass so that she could cross it.
Lucy's first instinct was to pretend that she hadn't heard her and to keep moving, but before she had the chance to actually go through with this plan, Jessica approached her, slightly out of breath.
"Jessica," Lucy greeted her tersely. Why the hell couldn't she have left a few minutes earlier?
Against her better judgement, Lucy couldn't help scrutinizing her. She had seen her before of course, but the first time, she hadn't known who she was, and the second time, she had tried to get her out of the house as fast as possible before Wyatt would see her. Now however, she unfortunately had the time to look at Wyatt's wife in her entirety.
She was pretty, Lucy had to admit, much prettier than she was herself. But she hadn't expected anything else. She had always assumed that Jessica would be easy on the eyes. A perfect match for him, so to say. But what really bothered her was that she also seemed to be very kind and complaisant as she was standing right in front of her with this guilty expression on her face. It would have been so much easier to despise her if she had been a dumb, shallow bitch.
"He told you, didn't he?" Jessica asked rueful, avoiding Lucy's piercing stare, but didn't even wait for her reply. "Of course he did, I knew he would. But just though you know, I kissed him, not the other way round. And he immediately pushed me away, I swear."
Lucy was sure that wasn't true. But she couldn't blame Wyatt for that. In fact, she was surprised that he had pushed her away at all. And Jessica, well, Lucy probably could blame her, but she also knew first hand how Wyatt could be around women if he wanted to. So no wonder she thought he was attracted to her.
"Jessica …" Lucy wanted to play the incident down, to make things less awkward between them.
"No seriously, Lucy, I'm so sorry! I didn't mean for this to happen. It's not even that I like Wyatt that way. Well, at least not anymore. But yesterday, the way he looked at me, it brought all the feelings back that I once had for him. You know, when we were back in college."
"College?" Lucy asked bewildered. She hadn't known that Wyatt went to college. To be completely honest, she also had never asked, but pretty much assumed that he didn't.
Jessica immediately got defensive, probably misinterpreting Lucy's bewilderment as provocation. "Well, yes, before he met you," but then couldn't help herself also adding a snarky, "Obviously."
"Obviously?" Lucy repeated slightly annoyed, mimicking her intonation. She really didn't have the patience to deal with the history of their relationship at the moment.
Jessica narrowed her eyes at her, "You do remember that I met him first, don't you? If it wasn't for me, you probably never would have met him."
"Yes of course I remember," Lucy said at once, feeling guilty all of a sudden. So it was true, Wyatt and Jessica had been together before she came along, and then she somehow had messed up everything between them. It didn't sound like her at all, or like Wyatt, but their other versions might have been different in this regard. "I just didn't realise that you had feelings for him," Lucy continued conciliatorily, hoping that this comment didn't sound ignorant.
Jessica grimaced, "Of course you didn't, I wasn't stupid enough to mention any of this after the two of you clashed heads."
"What do you mean by that?" Lucy asked with bated breath.
"Are you serious now?" Jessica started to laugh all of a sudden. "You know, it was actually hilarious watching the two of you falling head over heels in love, without either of you even noticing it. Have I ever told you that Wyatt tried to deny it at first?"
Lucy automatically denied the question, causing Jessica to laugh even harder, "No, seriously, he actually told to me that he can't stand you. He argued that you are an annoying know-it-all and way to bossy for his liking. God, he was so in love with you from the very first moment he laid eyes on you."
"And you," Jessica shook her head in amusement," Do you remember how you lamented non-stop about what a self-righteous, reckless hothead he was? Honestly, the two of you couldn't have been more obvious. I'm just glad I wasn't stupid enough to try things with Wyatt first, because I so would have lost out to you. I just know he would have dropped me like a hot potato after you came into the picture."
"Anyway," Jessica continued, "The thing is, I was, no actually I still am, jealous of you and what you have with him. That is what I want to, someone who loves me so completely like he loves you."
Lost for words, Lucy stared open-mouthed at her. If all of this was true, then the Wyatt of this timeline had chosen her over Jessica, his lighting bolt, his only-one. This revelation made her light-headed and giddy at the same time, until she remembered that her Wyatt didn't do any of this. He was being forced into this relationship with her, and he just gave up on his chance to be with Jessica because of it. To spare her feelings, or whatever other noble attitude had caused him to do that.
But then all the awful things her mother had said, or at least suggested about Wyatt came back to her mind. The supposed fights, Wyatt's often absence, her mother thinking that he wasn't good enough for her. Suddenly disenchanted, Lucy couldn't help but burst out, "Are you two having an affair?"
"What? No!" Jessica exclaimed aghast, "Didn't you hear what I've just told you? I have no idea where that kiss came from, but I swear, Lucy, that is all that happened between us. Wyatt loves you, only you, I just know it. As for me, yes, I once had feelings for him, but that was a very long time ago. You have to believe me Lucy, all I feel for Wyatt these days is friendship."
Lucy nodded in acknowledgment, but her doubts didn't go away, nor did her guilt. This was Jessica, Wyatt's great love, there was no way he would rather be with her if he could have his real wife back. And for some absurd reason it also annoyed her that Jessica denied having feelings for Wyatt. He was a great person, he deserved to be loved back by her, so how could she simply say that she didn't feel anything but friendship for him?
For a moment Lucy felt the urge to tell her just that, to convince her that she was making a huge mistake if she gave up on him now. Lucy opened her mouth, but before she could say anything, another thought hit her. What if Jessica was lying?
"The other night, when you were babysitting for us, you told me that you were sorry for cancelling on Wyatt," Lucy said anxiously, "What was that about?"
Jessica frowned at her for a moment, then her face lit up when she remembered the incident, "You mean the night when you came back home dressed up in some weird old-fashioned costume?"
"Yes," Lucy confirmed impatiently.
"Well, I … I mean … come on Lucy, you know," Jessica tried to avoid the question.
"I wouldn't ask you, if I knew," Lucy said through gritted teeth.
"Fine," she sighed defeated, "I promised Wyatt that I would look after Florence that morning, but I, um, I was hung up, okay? I was out with some friends the night before and I guess I had too much to drink, so I overslept the next day. Wyatt was so pissed at me." Jessica blushed furiously at that admission, and Lucy thought that it only made her look even more lovely.
"But you must have known that already," Jessica insisted. "If I recall correctly, you had to cancel your class that morning so that Wyatt could make it in time for his appointment with his boss."
"His boss?" Lucy repeated hoarsely.
"Yeah!" Jessica suspiciously narrowed her eyes on her, but apparently decided to let it go, "Anyway, I'm really sorry, I let you guys down that day, and I'm so glad that you still made at least it to this experimental history workshop of yours. I mean, I don't think that would be something I would like to do, but the costume did look great on you."
"Uhm, thanks," Lucy muttered absentmindedly, Jessica had just provided her with yet another new piece of information that would affect their new life immensely. So Wyatt had some kind of job after all. That was good news of course, and she couldn't wait to tell him.
But first she had to digest all the other things she had found out today. How was she supposed to break the heart-wrenching truth to him that Jessica didn't have any feelings for him anymore? And even worse, that they never even have been together in the first place, let alone married? And it was entirely her fault.
xxx
"Hi, is Rufus at home?" Lucy asked when the door opened. Coming here had been a spur of the moment decision. Whenever she couldn't talk to Wyatt for some reason, Rufus was the next best choice, and there was absolutely no way she could talk to Wyatt yet about everything that Jessica had disclosed to her only half an hour earlier. She really could need a neutral perspective first, and so she decided to delay her trip to her mother and went straight to Rufus instead.
"Sure, come on in!" Eileen said, making room for Lucy to pass her. "How is Amy?" she added.
"Amy?" Lucy asked bewildered, wondering how it was possible that Rufus' mother knew her sister, but then it dawned on her that she was taking about Florence.
"Oh Amy, great, Amy is doing great," she said awkwardly, sure that Eileen could see right through her. "Though her name is actually Florence," Lucy therefore admitted before she could stop herself, and immediately regretted it when she saw Eileen's sceptical face. "You see, Amy is actually her middle name. And we were just using it for a while because it is easier to pronounce," she hastily tried to fix the damage, but realised that she was rather making it worse. Not only had she openly lied to Rufus' mother now, but her explanation also sounded incredible stupid.
"I see," Eileen said curtly, but Lucy could see and feel her disapproval. If the woman in front of her ever had had any respect for her, she probably had lost it in this instance. Ashamed of herself, Lucy averted her gaze.
There was a moment of uncomfortable silence between them, then Eileen turned around abruptly, and called up the staircase, "RUFUS! YOU HAVE A VISITOR."
Standing tongue-tied in the entrance area together, Lucy's feeling of not being welcome grew stronger and stronger by the minute. Fortunately, she didn't have to wait long though, "Lucy? What are you doing here so early?" Rufus called out while descending the stairs, "And where is Wyatt?"
"He is at home, watching Florence," Lucy said, still feeling Eileen's eyes on her. "Can I talk to you for a minute? Alone?" she added, pointing towards the door.
"Yeah sure," Rufus said, letting his gaze wander between Lucy and his stern looking mother before he stirred Lucy back outside with his hand resting on the small of her neck.
"Sorry about that," Lucy muttered when they were outside and a few steps away from the house, "but I don't think your mother likes me very much."
Rufus snorted, "Well, she thinks I helped you kidnap a little girl."
Lucy's eyes widened in horror, "She does what?"
"Relax!" Rufus soothed her immediately, "I already told her that it is just her imagination. Doesn't stop her from watching the news non-stop though, in case anything about a missing little girl pops up," he added as an afterthought.
"Are you kidding me?" Lucy said unnerved, realising only just now how suspicious her stupid comment about the names must have sounded. "Rufus this is bad, if she calls the authorities and we can't prove that Florence belongs to us, they could take her away."
"Lucy, she is not going to call the authorities, I promise," Rufus said, grabbing both of her shoulders firmly. "Besides, even if that would happen, what exactly are you afraid of? Florence is without doubt your daughter."
"But … but," Lucy stammered frantic, "We don't even have her birth certificate," now regretting even more that she didn't make it a priority to look for it and all the other important documents that might come in handy sooner or later.
"Her birth certificate? Seriously?" Rufus snorted again, "I'm pretty sure no one is going to take your child away just because you can't find the birth certificate right away."
Lucy nodded at that. Of course that wasn't going to happen, but she still felt uneasy just thinking about the possibility. Just because she and Wyatt looked exactly like her parents, did that automatically made them her parents? What if a DNA test would prove that they were imposters?
"Anyway," Rufus startled her out of her thoughts, "I'm guessing that is not why you came here, is it? So what else is on your mind?"
Lucy sighed deeply, trying to focus again on the reason why she went to Rufus instead of going to her mother's, to retrieve Florence's favourite toy.
"Wyatt kissed Jessica and…," she started after a moment of consideration.
"He did what?" Rufus cried out, obviously taken by surprise. "When did that happen?"
"Uhm, yesterday," Lucy frowned, wondering why that was important. "But that is not the point," she continued, "the point is that for some reason he didn't go through with it, even though I said it was fine with me." Rufus groaned at that, but didn't say anything else so Lucy went on, "I mean she is his wife, so it was the right thing to do, wasn't it?"
"I don't know," Rufus grimaced.
"But that wasn't even the worst of it," Lucy admitted, "I actually ran into Jessica this morning, and … and she apologized to me."
"Okayyy…," Rufus said slowly, not getting the problem here.
"I feel so awful, Rufus," Lucy said despondent, "like I stole Wyatt from her. Which is ridiculous, I know, but it doesn't change the fact how I feel about it."
"Lucy, that is not…," but she wouldn't let him finish his protest and went on, "I mean technically she is the homewrecker, but the whole time I wanted to apologize to her. I should have been angry, right? But I wasn't, at least not for her kissing my so-called husband, no, I got angry when she told me that she doesn't love him, or better that she doesn't love him anymore. How absurd is that? I actually wanted to assure her that she was wrong about Wyatt, that it is her he loves and not me…"
"Yeah, I wouldn't be so sure about that," Rufus muttered under his breath.
"… I almost begged her to give him a second chance," Lucy admitted then.
"You didn't though, did you?" Rufus asked alarmed. He was quite certain that Wyatt wouldn't be very happy if she had.
Lucy shook her head. "No, I couldn't," she whispered, hanging her head in shame. "I chickened out in the very last second."
"Oh good!" Rufus exclaimed relieved.
Lucy frowned at him. "That is not good, Rufus, I could have done Wyatt a big favor if I had," Lucy started to beat herself up. "When we first came here, to this reality, I briefly had a feeling that Jessica might be back, and I vowed to myself that I would help him get her back, but I …" she trailed off.
"Lucy," Rufus said tentatively, "you are allowed to be a little selfish once in a while. If Wyatt wants Jessica back, he has to do it himself. No one expects you to do it for him."
"Yeah, but…"
"NO, Lucy!" Rufus interrupted her right away. "This is Wyatt's choice, and he has to with it on his own."
"But that is the thing," Lucy retorted, "It wasn't exactly his choice, but the other Wyatt's choice. Our Wyatt is just too noble, or too afraid, or, I don't know what made him reject her, but I know it isn't what he truly wants.
Jessica also told me that they weren't even together in this timeline. Can you imagine that? In fact, according to Jessica, her Wyatt chose me over her. Can you believe that, because I surely can't. So I'm not only keeping him away from her now, but my other self also got into his way a few years ago and prevented him from being with the love of his life. And when Wyatt hears about this, he is going to hate me." Lucy had said all of this very fast, hardly taking a breath between words and sentences, and now that she finally had got all of this off her chest, she was feeling slightly better, but also quite drained. The constant up and down of her emotions were taking a toll on her, and she had no idea how to end this horrible rollercoaster ride.
Rufus looked at her in complete shock. There was so much he wanted to tell her, but he had promised Wyatt to stay out of this, and so he simply said, "Don't be ridiculous, he could never hate you, Lucy."
xxx
"Hey, what are you doing here? I thought you would be busy right now getting ready for your date with Jiya," Wyatt greeted Rufus when he answered the door.
"What the hell, man?" Rufus attacked him immediately, completely ignoring Wyatt's comment. "You kissed Jessica? When exactly did that happen? Was it before or after you told me that you are head over heels in love with Lucy? Because I swear if it was after…"
"Before!" Wyatt assured him quickly, "Definitely before."
Rufus was still fuming, pacing agitated back and forth in front of the door. "Sooo, I guess you talked to Lucy then?" Wyatt probed tentatively, feeling slightly hurt that Lucy would turn to Rufus with something that Wyatt considered a private matter. But once again he was ignored.
"How could you hurt her like that?" Rufus suddenly shot up, coming to a stop right in front of him and glared at him fiercely. Surprised, Wyatt took a step backwards. It was not that he was really scared of Rufus, but seeing him so angry made him actually wary about what he was going to do next.
"I didn't …" Wyatt started, but Rufus wouldn't let him finish.
"Let me ask you a question, Wyatt," he said in a dangerously low voice. "Does being an ass come naturally to you, or do have to work hard for it?"
Wyatt had never thought it would be possible, but in this very moment, he really wanted to punch the crap out of Rufus. "You think this is easy for me?" he asked instead, clenching his hands up in tight fists. "Do you honestly think I want to hurt Lucy?"
"No, but you did a very good job at it," Rufus said through clenched teeth, still glaring him down.
"Oh, yeah? Do you have any idea what it was like for me to suddenly see my dead wife again?" Wyatt wanted to know. "A wife that I loved very much," he emphasised.
"No, but I have a pretty good idea what it is like seeing you and Lucy fall in love with each other, and then having to witness you throw all of this away for a woman that you don't even know, not truly anyway. I just don't get it, Wyatt."
Wyatt flinched at that comment. Had he actually ruined everything with Lucy now? It just had been a kiss for god's sake, hardly more than a peck, and he didn't even enjoy it. Hell, he didn't even want to be alone with her that day. That had been Lucy's idea.
"You know she is not your wife, don't you?" Rufus demanded to know.
"Of course I do," Wyatt spat back, then sighed tormented and ran his hand through his hair, "At least I do now."
He said the last bit in such a defeated sounding way, that Rufus finally took pity on him, "I'm sorry, I know all of this must be hard for you."
Wyatt nodded absentmindedly, but his thoughts had already drifted to something else. "So, Lucy was actually hurt?" he asked guiltily, but also hopeful. If she truly was hurt then that also meant that she had feelings for him, right?
"Of course she was hurt, you idiot," Rufus flared up again. "Although, well…" he added much calmer, almost sheepish.
"Although what?" Wyatt asked nervously, swallowing hard in anticipation.
"I'm not entirely sure anymore if she is indeed in love with you," Rufus dropped the bomb on Wyatt. "She could be, or maybe not. It's hard to tell, actually."
"Rufus!" Wyatt groaned in frustration, "Just yesterday you told me you were sure and now you are suddenly not? What the hell happened?"
"Lucy ran into Jessica this morning, and she said she wanted to convince her to give you another chance," Rufus summarized.
"What?" Wyatt groaned exasperated. "Why would she do something like that?"
"I don't know," Rufus admitted, "That's the problem. I think she either was trying to do you a favor because she loves you, but doesn't think you love her back, or because she cares for you as a friend and finally wants to see you happy again."
"Great!" Wyatt growled darkly, "And how do I find out now which one it is?"
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