Part 14 – Lily's Secret

Severus followed Lily over to a table where she put her books down with a false cheerfulness.

"Why does Bella dislike you?" he asked after a moment of hesitation. A part of him still hoped that maybe the older girl's venom towards his friend stemmed from a reason other than Lily's birth.

"Bellatrix doesn't dislike me," Lily answered in a quiet but harsh tone that Severus had rarely heard her use before. "She hates me."

"But why?" Severus pressed on. He still didn't want to reveal what he suspected and hoped against hope that perhaps his guess was wrong.

Lily shrugged and refused to answer the question. Severus tried again but Lily just avoided his gaze and buried herself in her books.

Dave looked as puzzled but Severus had a feeling that Veronica knew the truth.

"Veronica?" he asked with a glare that could rival Professor McGonagall's.

Veronica paled and looked at Lily who gave her an equally intimidating stare before scowling at Severus.

"Lily hasn't done anything wrong," Veronica whispered with a nervous glance at Lily who was now looking studiously at her book. "It's because of what she is."

"Because she's a Gryffindor?" asked Severus, knowing even as the words slipped out that he was clutching at straws. It wasn't as if Bella went out of her way to befriend people in other houses, but neither did she seem to hate them as much as she did Lily.

"No." Veronica shook her head. "It's because Lily's a -"

"Leave it!" Lily hissed at Veronica, cutting her off.

Severus felt certain he knew what it was that Veronica was going to say…a muggle-born. He wondered why Lily had stopped her friend from speaking. Then he realised that there were plenty of people in the library, in earshot, who would not know anything about Lily or her parents. It seemed that Lily wanted it to remain that way. She had found out about the prejudices and Severus had the distinct impression that she was angry with him for not telling her about them when he'd had the chance.

He knew he had to speak to Lily and try to explain but it would have to wait until he could speak with her alone…and until he could think of a way to explain his lie.

Picking up his books and looked towards the clock. "It's almost lunchtime."

"Yeah," said Dave standing up. "I'm starving. Same time next week?"

Severus nodded and looked at Lily. He did not want to carry on with the group today, as they had initially planned. The atmosphere was too tense for any of them to work in. Veronica looked down at her books. Lily however met his eyes and shrugged. "Sure" she said before picking up her own books and walking out of the library ahead of him.

Lily remained surrounded by her friends whenever Severus saw her again that day. It almost made him wish he were back in the hospital wing so he could speak with her alone.

Eventually he realised that he was not going to get the chance to speak with her that day and returned to the common room alone.

He hadn't been in the room more than a minute when Bellatrix approached him.

"So how was your date?" she asked with a sneer.

Severus scowled and ignored the question. His stomach lurched as he realised that Bella had been more observant than he had thought. She had seen him with Lily.

"I told you before," Bella hissed, "you don't want to be mixing with her type."

"Why not?" asked Severus with calmness he did not feel.

The sneering look of distaste disappeared from Bella's face and a look of surprise took its place. "You don't know?" she asked.

"Know what?" Severus snapped with a bite of impatience. This was it, the moment when he'd find out for sure what it was Bellatrix had against Lily. He knew what she was going to say but still half hoped that she'd reveal some other transgression that his friend had been a party to.

"You don't know what she is?" Bella laughed. "Of course you don't! You didn't sit with us on the train did you? That was when Lucius told us."

Severus glared at her. He hadn't forgotten that she had laughed at him during that unpleasant journey. Eager to change the subject he decided to ask once and for all the question he wanted answered. "What is it about Lily that you hate?"

Bella looked thoughtful for a moment before answering. "It's not so much about her as her parents. They're…" Bella looked around her as though she was about to divulge a huge secret "…muggles."

His last hope vanished with her words. Severus realised that he'd been fooling himself ever since that day in the hospital wing…maybe even longer if he were to be completely honest with himself.

"Sorry to disappoint you Severus." Bella tried to sound sympathetic but failed. "I guess you liked her. But, well, she's just not your type is she? Better you know now so you can stay away from her in the future. Even as a half-blood you're too good for the likes of her. It used to be they never let mudbloods like that into Hogwarts but things have changed." Bella sighed.

Severus looked down at his books. It didn't make any difference to him who her parents were. She was smart, pretty and kind. It didn't matter to him that neither of her parents could do magic.

But even as he knew it didn't matter to him he quickly realised that to Bellatrix Black and the rest of the Slytherins it mattered very much, and they were the people he had to live with.

"You're right!" he said with a false bravado. "How was I to know she was a mudblood?"

Bella smiled in approval and slapped him on the back as she wandered back to her seat by the fire.

Severus had heard the term mudblood before but had never used it himself. He hoped that Lily would never find out that he'd spoken it today in reference to her.

He recalled a conversation that had taken place earlier in the term when Lucius had spoken about how his father was complaining about mudbloods being allowed further into the wizard community than ever before. He hadn't joined in the conversation himself. He knew that as a Slytherin he should believe in the same values as Lucius and his friends. He should think the same way.

So why didn't he?

He pushed aside thoughts of speaking to Lily about the problem. He was reluctant to draw her attention to the lie he'd told when she'd asked him whether her being a muggle-born made any difference.

As he sat in the common room staring unseeing into the fire he slowly talked himself out of speaking with Lily about the matter.

Severus frowned in concentration and made his decision. Now he knew for sure what the problem was between Bella and Lily he would just have to be more careful. He had no intention of breaking off his friendship just because of who her parents were. All he had to do was make sure that none of the Slytherins knew that they were friends…and make sure that Lily never discovered that he had called her a mudblood behind her back.

How difficult could it be?