DC: I don't own it

Thanks to my reviewers!

Chapter 14,

Bella had never been to a public school before. She had seen enough about them in movies to know what exactly they were but she knew that probably wouldn't help much.

"It isn't as bad as the movies make them out to be," Edward said, "at least we don't think so. But then again none of us really make people mad. Except for maybe Alice."

"Oh zip it."

Bella giggled. "So will I have classes with any of you?"

"A few," Alice said looking at her schedule. "Let's see you'll have science with me and Edward, and music with Jasper. Oh you and Edward have lunch together."

"That's good," Bella sighed, "I was afraid I was going to be all alone. What if nobody likes me?"

"Eh just ignore them," Edward said with a shrug. "You're a little socially awkward but so is everyone in our grade."

"I'll keep a low profile then," Bella mumbled.

"Ah don't worry about it," Emmett said as he stretched up on his toes. "Bus is here."

The yellow bus turned the corner and stopped to pick them up. Bella was excited and nervous as she got on. Edward slid into a seat and Bella sat next to him. Emmett took the way back seat like he usually did. Jasper let Alice slide into an empty seat and sat beside her where they promptly started chattering about whatever was important at the time.

"They're inseparable most days," Edward murmured. "He's always been close with Alice, ever since they met."

"Why does Emmett sit so far back?"

"He likes the back of the bus because it's bouncier," Edward said with an eye roll.

Bella giggled and he smiled at her. She was very nervous and she knew it was obvious. The bus was an unusual place. It smelled strange for starters. Plus it was noisy. Kids talked and screamed at each other. After a few more stops the bus was full. Some had even tripled up in their seats. They were driving along through traffic towards the school. In every car Bella saw people with a cup of coffee on their way to work. As they got closer to the high school the people in the cars turned to teenagers. Some were smoking and their windows were cracked, despite the chilly March weather. On the sidewalks people were walking. They were waiting for buses and getting in and out of taxi's. They carried briefcases and mugs with them.

"There's so much to look at," Bella said.

"Yeah, I guess."

Bella back and Alice gave her a wink. Emmett was bouncing along with some friends and laughing. She looked back at Edward and he gave her a reassuring smile.

---

"Don't be nervous," Jasper said as his parting words. Easier said than done. Once Bella was checked in at the office she was assigned a guide to take her to each of her classes. Her guide was a cheery young man with the beginnings of an acne problem. His name was David and he was going to be giving her the tour. The school was average in size but filled with kids that made it confusing. There were big signs above the doors that had the name of the teacher on it.

"Since you're in seventh, you'll be mostly upstairs," David said as he showed her to her homeroom. "I'll show you and then I'll meet you for your first class."

---

Edward tapped his eraser on his notebook. Usually he was quite attentive in math. He was good at math and usually excelled. But he was completely distracted. He found himself picking the brains of the kids around him trying to find Bella. He knew that she was in art, but she didn't know who she was with.

When he finally found her it was in the mind of David Langston, a boy from his own homeroom. She was sitting across from him in the art room with a sketch pad that had been given to her.

She's so intense, the way her eyes are focused on the paper. What is she drawing I wonder? It looks like a person. The proportions are pretty good.

Edward stopped tapping his pencil.

She's cute. Quiet though. Gosh she is so cute though. Mysterious. Sweet too.

Edward I see you missing your homework assignment! Pay attention!

Edward ignored Alice's thoughts which earned an irritated internal squawk from his sister.

Well maybe I can get to know her better while I'm leading her around. I'll be her first friend here after all. That's usually how it goes. I mean she won't know anyone else but me. Then I'll ask her to the spring dance! Yeah. Oh imagine if I could have a cute date like her! Maybe she'll even let me kiss her!

Edward was relieved when the bell rang and he was out of the class. He practically sprinted up to the art room and got to Bella just as she was leaving.

"Oh, Edward," Bella said with a smile.

"Hey Bella, funny running into you here," he laughed. "What's your next class?"

"Oh...um...music," she said looking at her schedule.

"Oh how nice. Do you mind if I walk with you?"

"Not at all," Bella said, "David was just showing me where to go."

"Yeah, hey David how are you?" Edward asked not really caring even a bit. Good thing Jasper was in music with her to keep an eye on her. He didn't like the thoughts he was getting from David.

"How are you liking public school so far?" Edward asked. He was going to monopolize her attention whether or not David liked it.

"It's great," Bella said with a smile, "so many people and so much to see! I've never taken a formal music class before, or an art class. She never was very good at art. Not like my mom."

"You remember your mom painting?" Edward asked.

"Pottery I think," Bella answered quietly. "I'm not for sure."

"They have pottery classes," Edward said, "you can take it next year if you'd like!"

Bella hesitated then nodded sadly. "Yeah, next year."

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing, um I have to go to the bathroom. You said it was downstairs right?"

"I can show you..." David began.

"I want to find my own way if it's okay with you," she said.

"Bells are you okay?" Edward asked.

"It's my job to..."

"Back off Dave or I'll leave your underwear up your butt," Edward snapped, "now Bella are you alright?"

"I'm fine Edward you don't have to baby me!" Bella said hotly before turning and getting lost in the crowd.

Nice going genius

Edward wished for that moment he and his sister could communicate telepathically. He would have liked to tell her to kindly shut up. Of course that would have led to more bickering as Alice wasn't one to kindly take something like that. She would continue to pester him about it until she got over it. His sister was a stubborn thing like that.

Edward sighed and continued on his way to class, miffed and concerned.

---

"I'm sorry I snapped at you," Bella said as they grabbed trays for lunch.

"I'm just glad you're okay," Edward replied with a shrug. "Did I do something?"

"No, sorry, I just...it's hard for me."

"I understand," Edward said, "I mean I don't really understand but I understand that you're having a hard time."

"I will forever be thankful to you and your father for saving me, and your family for bringing me into your home. But I want to go home! I want to be in my mom's arms where I'm safe. Esme is so warm and loving but it isn't the same."

"I do know that," Edward said, "nobody can replace a mother. Grandma can hug me until the cows come home but it'll never be the same as when Esme hugs me."

"I'll give you an A for effort anyway," Bella said with a small smile, "I know you're trying to understand what I'm going through."

"Failing?"

"Not horribly. It's so much more than being away from my mom," Bella said poking at her carrots. "It was that I was taken just in a blink. One minute I was playing in the yard and the next my mom is screaming and running after the car I was in. Since the age of four I've been trapped inside. That woman put colored shades on my only window so I wouldn't be seen. You grew up isolating yourself because of your gift, I grew up isolated."

"How did you know?" Edward asked.

"About your gift or your isolation?"

"Both I guess."

Bella shrugged, "Edward you answer people's thoughts. It's natural for you and you sometimes forget to not do it in front of me. I asked Alice and she confirmed it after some prying. She told me about her gift as well and Jasper told me his. As for the isolation, again I could tell just by knowing you. You're the loner type."

Edward chewed his string beans slowly processing what she was saying. He was a loner by choice, he would admit to that. It was bad enough knowing what his family thought of him let alone strangers.

"I can't read your mind," he admitted, "you're a blank. I hate that and yet I find it refreshing."

"Refreshing?" Bella asked in surprise with a fork full of salisbury steak half way to her mouth.

"I don't concentrate to hear thoughts, but to block them. It gives me a headache if I do it for too long. I practice at school, especially in the locker room. I mean I know that I'm scrawny and pale and I don't have any chest hair. I don't want to hear what people really think of me in that moment. The locker room was meant to torment children! Anyway it is easier for me to keep my shields down. Sometimes even better for my brothers and sister. If I had kept my mind open I could have prevented Jasper from having a small relapse. But I hate it when I can't hear your mind at the same time. I don't know what you are thinking, I don't know how to connect with you. I don't know if you're in trouble."

"But you did know," Bella said with a smile. "I wouldn't be here if you didn't."

"Not here precisely agreed," Edward said, "hell before the landlord came and cleaned up the house you probably would have died. I only knew anyway because of that woman's thoughts. The point is I feel protective of you."

"I think David witnessed that first hand," Bella giggled. Edward flushed a bit and nodded in agreement. "Was he really thinking something bad?"

"Yes and no," Edward said. "He doesn't want to hurt you. He thinks you're cute."

"Am I?" Bella asked.

"Well...that's...um...you know...that isn't the point!" Edward stammered. "Look the point is I hear thoughts about you in tones I barely understand sometimes and I don't like it. Look never mind forget it."

Bella nodded and sipped her juice. Edward, a little redder, near chugged his milk and spent the rest of the lunch period focusing on devouring his lunch.

---

"Did the police find them yet?" Bella asked as they helped set the table.

"I'm sorry sweetheart not yet," Esme said, "but don't worry, these things take time. America is a big country."

Bella sighed and put the last plate down. "I wish I could help."

"How was school?" Esme asked, abruptly changing the subject.

"It was wonderful!" Bella said happily. "So many different people and smells and things to see! The tile floors in the bathrooms were different than the ones in the cafeteria. Why is that? They felt different too. A little bit more slippery in the cafeteria."

"It's all about traction," Esme said getting the casserole out of the oven. "How about your classes?"

"Average I guess," Bella said, "but I guess I expected that. In english I was assigned a book I had read already."

"You're reading the same as the other's right?"

"Yes," Bella said taking her seat as she heard the boys getting ready. Alice was already walking in. "It was a good book. Not the greatest but still good."

"I think it's dull," Alice said wrinkling her nose.

"How far in your education are you?" Esme asked.

"I don't know," Bella shrugged, "I read a lot of books and text books."

"That sounded really nerdy right there," Emmett admitted as he walked in. "Nobody picked on you right?"

"That's right."

The family sat down and the topic turned to Alice's desire to skip gym.

"I hate changing for class," Alice said, "that stupid Connie always makes fun of me. She got her first period and she thinks that she's some sort of queen! I mean can you believe that?!"

"Wait she got a punctuation mark?" Emmett asked.

"No her period silly!"

"Sorry I'm late," Carlisle said as he came in. He kissed Esme on the cheek and sat down. "Mr. Glenn decided to code right as I was about to leave. Esme I nearly died in there!"

"What happened?"

"I was the closest doctor when he coded. I had to take control of the situation and instruct the nurses. Scariest moment of my short career!"

"You did well?" Esme asked.

"Yes and no," Carlisle said sadly, "managed to bring him back for a bit but he bled out as I was trying to leave again."

"I'm sorry to hear that," Esme said patting his hand.

"I had to pronounce him and it was the worst," Carlisle sighed, "Tara agreed to tell the family for me and ask for an autopsy. I got emotional."

"Well sure," Esme said, "Mr. Glenn was so nice to you."

"Onto something happier," Carlisle said, "tell me some good news."

"I learned that girls can have punctuation marks," Emmett said.

"It's a different kind of period stupid," Alice grumbled.

"Don't call me stupid stupid!"

"Both of you stop!" Esme said sharply. "Emmett the period Alice is talking about happens to girls about her age."

"It's when they bleed from the vagina," Jasper said.

"Okay is this proper dinner conversation?" Carlisle asked.

"You were just talking about someone bleeding out," Jasper reminded him.

"Yes, but that's different."

The boys looked confused and Esme just sighed and tucked into her tuna and noodles. Bella excused herself to use the bathroom. Carlisle was about to ask Edward how his day was when they heard Bella scream. Carlisle rushed to the scene and Bella screamed again when he saw her with no panties on.

"What is it?" he asked as he tucked the towel she threw in defense.

"I'm gonna die!" Bella cried.

"Die? What in the world?"

"Look! Look!" she said holding up the toilet paper. Carlisle felt his heart restart.

"Esme! Your assistance!"

"What in the world is going on?" Esme asked walking in. She saw the bloody toilet paper and knew instantly what had happened. "Oh, sweetheart that's nothing."

"But I'm bleeding!"

"That's just your first period," Esme said with a smile, "it's completely natural."

"That's what it is?! I don't want this! Eew! Eew! Eew!"

"It's alright," Esme said. "Carlisle why don't you go back to the table."

"Already gone," Carlisle called down the hall. Esme got some pads from the closet.

"Okay sweetie it's okay," she said, "it's okay here's what you do. You take this and put it on your underwear, like this."

Esme put it on and Bella watched. "That's it?"

"That's it," Esme said, "congratulations Bella you're in puberty."

Bella looked a little afraid but went with it. She washed her hands and went back to the table. Alice looked over at her. "You don't want one," she assured her.

"Dad," Emmett said quietly. "Is Bella gonna die?"

"No son, she's just growing up."

"Dad am I going to bleed too?"

"No Em you're a boy."

"Oh good," Emmett sighed in relief.

Dinner was quite uneventful after that. It was Edward's night for dishes and Bella helped him collect them. After that was done the kids were dismissed to their homework. As per usual Edward finished his first and when to help Emmett who struggled in math. Bella and Alice took turns reading from their book no matter how boring they thought it was. They ended up laughing and joking about it back and forth, abandoning the assignment.

"What are you girls going on about?" Carlisle asked with a smile.

"Nothing," they giggled.

"Alright sure. Shower time, Alice you get to go first tonight."

"Fine," Alice sighed.

"Bella you'll go after her okay," Carlisle said. Bella nodded and he gave her a smile before leaving.

---

"Dad grandma wants to talk to you," Edward said, interrupting a homework lesson.

Carlisle nodded and took the phone, "hi mom how are you?"

"Tired," Mary sighed, "always tired. That's why I called I promised I would try Carlisle, but I don't want to continue this. I'm going to stop chemo."

"Mom..." Carlisle began.

"No, Carlisle," she said sharply, "I know you love me and want to keep me around longer but it isn't working. I'm in pain constantly."

"How long?"

"It's all in the lord's hands now," Mary said. "I'll see you this weekend. I just turned on the news and saw what was going on. I figured Alice would have seen it and they would be safe but I still worry."

"I understand."

"You're crying now aren't you?"

"No," Carlisle mumbled wiping some tears away.

"Baby please don't cry," Mary pleaded, "close your eyes."

Carlisle obeyed. He tightened his arm around Alice. Mary sang a soft lullaby through the phone. Carlisle rested his cheek on his daughter's head and sniffed. After the lullaby he spoke again, "I love you mom."

"I love you too Carly," she said, "now go take care of your daughter."

"Alright, take care, I'll call later."

"Alright, bye bye dear."

"Bye."

Carlisle hung up and sighed.

"She wanted to tell you herself," Alice mumbled, "she already told her doctor she was stopping. It's going to be okay daddy."

"How long? Do you know?"

"No," Alice said sadly, "but I know it's what she wants. She wants to see Uncle Robbie soon. She's hoping that her husband will be the man she once loved on the other side."

"I'm scared," Carlisle admitted. "I don't know what I'll do without her. She was always there for me. Always so patient and understanding. I never really understood why until I had you and Edward."

"Why?" Alice asked.

"She loves me unconditionally."

"What's that?"

"No matter what I do she loves me," Carlisle said, "she patiently watched as I rebelled against them in high school. I told them that I didn't need them. But when I was on the sofa crying when Lizzy was pregnant and I didn't know what to do she was there with a warm hug and a tissue for my tears."

Alice squirmed a bit and Carlisle let up his hold. She got out of his arms and jumped down. "I gotta pee."

He nodded and stood. He walked into the bedroom where Esme was folding laundry. He closed the door and took the shirt from her hands.

"Carlisle?"

He pulled her onto the bed with him and curled up against her. Esme ran one hand lightly through his hair.

"Baby what's wrong?" she asked.

"Mom's stopping chemo," Carlisle cried softly into her chest, "she's going to die."

Esme held him while he cried. She smoothed his hair like she did with her children. Carlisle didn't say anything. He just cried. The front of her shirt was soon soaked with tears. She grabbed a box of tissues from the side table and handed him one. He blew his nose and she took the tissue, putting it aside.

"I'm scared," he admitted.

"I know," Esme murmured, "I know exactly how you feel. It's going to be okay Carly I promise."

"I don't want her to die," Carlisle cried, "I need her! I need my mommy!"

"She's so proud of you," Esme told him, "Carlisle she is so proud of how you've raised your children and taken mine into your hearts."

"But I need her," Carlisle sniffed, "Esme I'm not ready to lose her."

"I wish I could make it go away.

Carlisle nodded. Esme continued to stroke his hair lightly and snuggle him closer. She kissed the top of his head and held her lips against him for a while. "I love you Carlisle."

"I love you too," he mumbled. "I couldn't survive this without you."

Esme smiled and nuzzled him. He smiled and tilted his head up to return the nuzzle. Their own private kiss. She caressed his cheek and his neck. He looked at her with deep blue bloodshot eyes ringed with red. She traced the dark flesh under her eyes. His life as an intern and a father kept him awake most nights. She traced the lines around his mouth and nose.

"What?" he asked with a smile as she lightly touched his lips.

"I'm just observing every detail of you," she murmured. He smiled.

"And?"

"I'm married to an old man," she teased.

"Oh ouch!"

Esme giggled and touched his face again. She traced the lines of his face and neck. His eyes fluttered open and he watched her. Her eyes flicked up to look at him and she smiled. "You're still the most handsome man I have ever met."

"And I'm still waiting for you to realize how much better you can do."

Esme closed her eyes and touched her nose to his. "Carlisle you are what I want."

Carlisle looked at her. He nuzzled her again and kissed her lips. "Esme I want to have a baby with you."

"Carlisle we can't afford a baby," she mumbled.

"We'll make it work," he whispered back, "we have before."

"Soon," Esme promised, "you'll finish your internship and we'll celebrate."

Carlisle pouted and she kissed him lightly. She got up and pulled him to his feet.

"You know, I could send the children to the park and we could practice."

"I'm not in the mood right now," Carlisle admitted, "but I want to go for a walk."

"I'll get my coat," Esme said with a smile. Carlisle walked out with her and told the kids to behave. He slipped her coat over her shoulders and she smiled at him. They got their shoes on and walked into the night. He took her hand and kissed it.

"So what do we do now?" Emmett asked.

"Homework," Edward answered.

"Yeah okay let's do something that won't morph us into a nerd," Jasper sighed, "ooh! Let's play Trouble!"

Edward rolled his eyes and turned to his english homework. Alice went and got the game out while Jasper and Emmett played rock paper scissors over who got to be blue.

"Do you want to play with us Bella?" Alice asked.

"Not this time," she mumbled. Alice shrugged and put the game down. They set up their pieces and just a few minutes later they were popping to see who goes first.

"What's wrong?" Edward asked crawling onto the sofa with her.

"Nothing," Bella said with a sad smile.

"I don't even need to read your mind to know that's a lie."

"Can we go for a walk?"

"Um, sure," Edward said after looking out to see how dark it was. "Just around the block though."

Bella nodded and got up. She stepped over the game getting an irritated glare from Alice and giggled. The girls stuck their tongues out at each other. Bella sat on the stairs and got her shoes on. Edward had an idea. He grabbed Bella's coat and put it over her shoulders like Carlisle did for Esme.

"Thank you," Bella mumbled with a shy smile. Edward nodded and got his shoes and coat on. They walked out into the chilly night. "I can't wait until it's warmer."

"It will be soon," Edward commented, "it's technically spring."

Bella put her hands in her pockets and looked up at the purpling sky. "I remember it rained a lot where I lived. I have always loved the sound of the rain."

"Alice gets scared by the thunder. So does Emmett."

Bella giggled. "I grew up with it so I guess it doesn't phase me."

"You seem to be remembering things," Edward observed.

"I'm not around that woman anymore, I think that's why. She wanted me to forget my parents."

"I can't ever understand why there are people like that in the world," Edward said sadly. "Why are there people like Jasper's mom? Or like the woman who took you? Hell like my grandpa! Why are people so bad?"

"People aren't bad as a whole," Bella mused, "dad always made sure to teach me that people are basically good."

"Until they grow up."

Bella didn't say anything. Edward was watching the ground with a frown on his face. His eyes were so intent on the pavement. Bella started to wonder what had happened to make him so bitter. What had it been like to be molested at such a young age?

"It could have been worse I know," Edward said quietly.

"How did you know what I was thinking?"

"Lucky guess. I was venting."

"Ah, okay, don't let me stop you."

"If I couldn't read minds I would have just been uncomfortable. But the things he was thinking...if grandma hadn't come home he would have done more."

Bella looked over at him. She saw that he wanted to cry but he was holding back. "Edward let it out. You'll feel better."

"I didn't want dad to hold me or to touch me," Edward mumbled, his fist tightening. "We lost our bond at that moment. I was only six! What kind of sick freak does that to a child?! I just don't...I don't understand...I hate him. I can't keep being so mature and calm! I know what he was planning on doing!"

"I think what you need is to talk to your dad," Bella advised, "I can't help you I can only listen."

Edward nodded.

"What are you kids doing out so late?" Esme asked as they turned the corner.

"I wanted to go for a walk," Bella said.

"Edward? Are you okay?"

Edward nodded numbly as he rubbed his eyes. Esme silently came to Bella's side and took her off while Carlisle hugged Edward's shoulders.

"Hey kiddo what's up?"

"Why did he pick me?" Edward asked. "Why did grandpa do it to me?"

"I wish I could give you an answer," Carlisle said. He wiped Edward's tears with his thumbs. "Look at me."

Edward did. His green eyes looked almost turquoise when he cried.

"I'm so proud of you," he whispered, "you're so strong and so smart."

"I don't feel strong."

"But you are," Carlisle promised him, "Edward you are the parent of the group. You take care of your brothers and sister sometimes better than I do. You are helping Bella in ways I could never. You have such a big heart. But you try to do too much. It's okay to cry and it's okay to be angry. You were hurt and if you want to scream until you're hoarse then go ahead and do it. I am always going to be here for you. Until the day I die you will always have my shoulder to cry on and my arms to keep you safe."

"Dad I hate him. I hate him so much and I wish grandma would have poisoned his dinner."

"There you go," Carlisle said drawing him into a hug. He rubbed his back and kissed his head. "Don't bottle your feelings up so much."

"Bella must think I'm a freak," Edward mumbled.

Carlisle smiled and chuckled. "You like her," he observed.

"She's a good friend."

"You really like her," Carlisle said with a smile.

Edward shook his head and pulled away. "No way. Girls are so gross."

"Oh believe me you won't always think so," Carlisle laughed ruffling his hair. He put his arm around Edward's shoulders. The kid was getting bigger. His head was already level with his chest! Carlisle remembered when Edward came up to his knees and looked up at him with wide eyes and a big grin. "stop growing up so fast."

"Soon you won't be able to tell me that I'm not big enough."

Carlisle laughed and kissed his head again. "I'm going to miss that. I'm going to miss a lot of things when you grow up."

"I have a while yet," Edward reminded him, "so you don't have to worry."

Carlisle nodded and squeezed his shoulders.

It's never going to be long enough for me

TBC

I absolutely love writing scenes between Edward and Carlisle.