They get their feet wet pulling the swan boat up onto the shore. Takeru doesn't really mind - after all, at least there's land underneath them now, and it's warm enough that they can take their socks and shoes off after walking up the beach. There's another forest ahead of them, but he's pretty sure he needs to rest his legs before going in.
The girl flops down onto a log, and stretches her legs out in the sun.
"We should sit down for a bit," she says. "I don't know about you, but all that pedalling really wore me out."
Takeru nods, and carries Poyomon up away from the water. There's something strange about this beach. He can't explain why, but suddenly he doesn't feel safe at all.
There's a building up ahead, a large, blockish thing that stretches across the beach. When he points it out to the girl she stares, open-mouthed.
"Do you remember this, Takeru?" she asks.
He looks the building over, taking in the wooden walls and assortment of things lined up outside it. He's sure he knows what they are, even if he doesn't seem to have a word for all of them. There was certainly nothing like this at the cottage.
He takes a step forward, but the girl grabs his shoulder and holds him back.
"Wait, Takeru," she says, and he turns to see that she looks worried about something. "It might not be safe. Last time…" She stops, and sighs, looking down at her feet.
"Last time?" he asks.
"Poyo!"
The girl nods, and looks at Poyomon, who is hopping up and down. She sighs.
"I…don't think I can tell you, Takeru. You have to remember. Like you remembered me glowing, and Ya- your Onii-chan. But I know you can do it. Just… try?"
Takeru stares at the building. There is something sort of familiar about it, but he can't really tell what it is. It sort of reminds him of the cottage a little - it's got one floor, and there's lots of stuff. Will it have a jumble of furniture inside, like his home?
But he doesn't think the girl wants him to remember the cottage. And his head is aching with how hard he's trying - and how is he meant to just remember something, anyway, without any help, or any idea what it is he's meant to remember? It's just so hard, and it's not fair. It's not fair that the girl knows everything and he doesn't. It shouldn't be like that: he should know things. He should know more than her, shouldn't he? She's new, and he's been here all this time, and now here she is, telling him what to do, and where to go, and that there's all sorts of memories in his head that she knows and he doesn't, and it's just too much!
He grits his teeth and runs, darting off into the forest without a look back - without Poyomon, even. His head is throbbing and his eyes are blurry with almost-tears, and he can hear the girl and Poyomon behind him, following and calling for him, but it's no good. He can't do this. He can't remember, and he doesn't know who the girl is, and he just wants to go back to the cottage where everything was the same all the time. Where there's food, and friends, and he knows how things work. Where-
Takeru comes to a halt as the trees runs out, and he finds himself in a clearing. In front of him is another house - one that he's sure he does remember, although the memory is strange. The upstairs looks almost like a face, with windows for eyes, and a door for a mouth, and curling eaves that look like hair. The more he looks at it, the more he realises he has seen it before. He's sure he found this place with Poyomon once, and that his companion made such a fuss that they left without getting too close.
But Poyomon isn't here now. It's just Takeru, alone, and his head is hurting so much he hardly notices that he's walking closer and closer, wrapped up in the pictures inside his head. He's running down a corridor, and there are loud bangs, and he's so scared, and then that corridor turns into a different place - a cave, with a giant swing. The white thing is there, grabbing his hands and swinging him through the air, and then he's falling, falling down and down. The girl is there, and they're both screaming, and he's sure it's the end but a voice tells him not to give up - and he knows that voice, he's sure he does. Bright yellow light erupts nearby, and he trips, landing hard on the doorstep of the house.
He's walked all the way up to it without even noticing, distracted by dreams which come when he's awake. He can hear Poyomon and the girl now, calling for him from somewhere nearby.
"I'm over here!" he cries, and turns to the doorway. Now that he's here, he's not sure he wants to go inside. But at the same time, he can't seem to look away. Why does it look so familiar? Why does he feel like he's almost remembering things, only for the memories to get away from him before he knows what they are? It doesn't make any sense at all.
There's a bad feeling in his stomach but he's so tired of not knowing things that he ignores it, and reaches out for the door handle. He can hear the girl and Poyomon getting closer as he turns the handle and pushes the door open. There's a large hall inside, and stairs leading up. All of it looks familiar - he knows this place, even if he doesn't know why.
But there are no memories. No answers. All he can feel is the flutter of worry in his stomach, and the nagging sensation that something is wrong. Someone's missing.
"Takeru!"
The girl's voice is so close it makes him jump. She's standing at the doorway, leaning on it and catching her breath. Poyomon hops out of her arms.
"Poyo! Poyo poyo poyo!" His friend sounds every bit as cross and worried as Takeru has ever heard him.
"I'm sorry," he mumbles.
"You have to stop running off!" the girl says, her voice gasping and strained. "What if you get separated from us? If I…if we lose you again…" She stops, and hangs her head.
Takeru stares at her. Again? When has he been lost before?
Something flickers in his mind. A spiky-haired boy with a cold smile. An open, sandy place. Dark corridors.
The pain in his head comes back suddenly, each throb bringing a new picture. He feels sick. What's going on? What are all these pictures doing in his head? Who are all these people who laugh at him, chase him, hurt him? Memories strike and fade - the details lost even as the knowledge that bad things happened lingers. He catches hold of snatches here and there - falling into a dark place; being chased by a giant puppet; shouting at a small, white creature who looks achingly familiar; floating in a dark place surrounded by all of his friends, and more companions he doesn't recognise; watching a bright white creature turn to sparkling dust; watching a black creature swoop down on his friends; clinging to a rope while something tugs at his ankle; a face with glasses and a cruel smile looming before him - and then it stops, and he's curled in a ball, and the girl is shaking his shoulder.
"Takeru! Takeru, are you okay?"
He feels horrible. His head hurts, his eyes are sore and aching, and he feels sick all over. What's wrong with him? Shivering, he tries to get to his feet. It's hard just to stand up, let alone walk, and he's glad the girl is there to help him. She leads him out of the house, and stands back as he lurches over to a bush and lets his stomach heave. His eyes and nose are running, and his ears are roaring with the effort of remaining upright.
It seems like forever until he's aware of the trees around him again - until the world peels back from his tiny bubble of pain and misery, and he can focus on where he is and who is with him. The girl is watching him, with Poyomon sat in her arms. Both seem…worried? Scared? He's not sure. Not even really sure who he is any more - the memories almost seem to belong to someone else. Certainly they don't belong to a boy who lives in a cottage by himself with only Poyomon and occasional friends for company.
The girl offers him a handkerchief from his bag - one of the odds and ends he's had tucked away in there for who-knows-how-long - and he manages a weak smile. If this is what the girl wants him to remember, he's not sure whether it's worth the effort. Why does she want him to remember bad things? Why can't he remember good things, or even things which are just 'okay'?
He doesn't say anything as they walk away from the house together. The girl doesn't ask any questions, either. She just walks in silence, carrying his bag, and giving him odd looks here and there. The trees close in around them, forcing them to walk one in front of the other, and he gladly lets her lead. There's too much going on in his head to really think about where he's walking to.
The thought keeps replaying in his head, over and over: if the memories don't belong to a Takeru who has always lived in the cottage, what Takeru do they belong to? What sort of person would he be if he could remember everything the girl seems to think he has forgotten? And why can't he remember it all, anyway?
A.N.:Hoo, boy. This took a while to write!
I'm pretty happy with how it turned out though. It's taken me both more and less time than I had thought at various stages of writing Metanoia to reach this point. On the one hand, I am soo eager to get through the next few chapters and see what everyone makes of them, but on the other hand, I really don't want to rush and spoil things. So, bear with me while I overthink every chapter I write of this fic from here on out.
Props to anyone who catches all the catchable references in this chapter, too! I will warn anyone who attempts it that this time there are a few which stem from the AU nature of this fic, instead of all being drawn from the anime.
And, as always, please let me know what you think! I am honestly so grateful for every review or remark people make.