WE ARE BACK! MAJOR SPOILERS FOR TILL DEATH DO US PART.

It's Everything

"Where do you want to be?" She recalls what doctor Burke asked a few sessions ago.

Kate knows where she wants to be. Perhaps she always has. At least now more then ever. Why else would she be sitting here in this office week after week? Sometimes more than once. It's more than just letting her case go, her mothers case, her mistrust. It's finding her heart again. It's been lost. For so long. This gaping hole in her chest. Until Castle weaseled his way into her life, she thought she was okay with it. Was almost blissfully aware...or more like miserably unaware, or so aware she became numb to it.

Yes that would be the correct way to describe it.

She thought she could ignore it, or fill the hole with men she thought she could love, but never truly did. She thought she could ignore it by diving into work. Almost forgetting about that empty space, fogged up by bad memories and misery. And then that hole repaired itself.

Or so she thought.

It started manifesting bricks. It's walls accumulating more and more as the years wore on. She started using the resources around her to help make the bricks. Her mother's death. Her father's drinking. The injustice of the world. Her job, Royce. Castle's Books. Will. The rabbit hole. After while...she couldn't feel it anymore. Just this unbearable weight inside her chest she eventually grew to accept. She lived by her own made up excuses. She used the tragedies of her life to stop herself from truly living. She didn't know any other way. She's been suffering.

Until he came.

She's starring dreamily out the window. A grin sits permanently on Kate's face. Her cheek lays relaxed in her hand, elbow propped up on the arm rest of her chair. She's glowing, and she knows it. From the radiant smile on her face, to the tingling of her skin. She's never felt this happy before, never felt this alive. And she knows, that even though she's not yet with Castle in the most complete of ways, she made another great step towards that. Step towards him, and that full feeling of being truly alive. This is only a glimpse. And so far? She's in love with what she's feeling.

Nothing about the week leading up to Ryan's wedding could turn her mood upside down. The event itself and what the future held for her dear friends, was something that has only made her hopeful. Envious, but hopeful. She saw, as those two said their "I dos", what love is really about. What it looks like. And Kate can't help but picture herself up there one day. She said so herself, to Castle before they linked arms and walked down the isle. (she didn't miss the symbolism in that) that "Who knows, maybe the third times the charm." Did he catch her double meaning? She's not sure, she surely hopes so. But even if he didn't, it still meant enough to her to imply it.

The moments leading up to the actual ceremony were her favorite. She was nervous as hell. Walking into her friends wedding alone. But the thought of Castle having his daughter be his plus one, melted some of that tension. And when she was standing there, talking to someone from Ryan's side of the family...the sight of Castle on the other side of the room literally took her breath away. He looked so handsome in his black tux. She wondered briefly then, if he was thinking about his own weddings. Of course later he expressed his envy in Ryan. Somehow she knew that it was more about Ryan's utter devotion and love for Jenny, that Castle was more envious about, then the actual prospect of the event. Sure it was a nice ceremony. The feelings it invoked were wonderful...but Kate could tell, from the look on Castle's face, that he wished he had done it right. That his two failed marriages weighed on him because maybe he didn't go into them with the same happiness his good friends radiate.

It's what makes Kate a "one and done." Type of girl. She wants to do it right the first time, and only time. No mistakes, just a happily ever after, no end, just always.

"I see you have given my inquiry some great thought." Dr. Burke startles her from her splendor. The door shuts behind him and he looks out the window she was just gazing out.

"I have." Kate replies, unable to wipe the goofy grin of her face, as she pulls her eyes from the beautiful weather outside.

Dr. Burke hums in satisfaction as he walks by, setting a fresh cup of coffee on the table beside her. Kate looks down at her hands, which hold a now cold cup of coffee. She smiles at herself for letting her thoughts take her away like that. But she is not ashamed nor regretful. She flicks her eyes to the steamy cup to her left, and then replaces it with the cold one. Her eyes close and visions of Castle handing her a cup of coffee at her desk, and then in his loft as he makes them breakfast in the morning, flood her mind as she takes her first sip.

"So." he starts. "Where do you want to be, Kate?" Dr. Burke asks, after Kate takes another sip with her smiling lips.

She rests the rim of the cup on her lips, her teeth making a clinking sound as her smile widens. Her eyes un focus, staring off at something Dr. Burke cannot see. Instead of sitting in therapy, Kate is now in bed. The back of her eyelids all she sees. But she can feel a warmth beside her. Feel the press of his hot flesh against her stomach, his breath on her neck, and the rise and fall of his chest against her back.

She turns over in his arms, humming softly before she opens her eyes. She is met with the soft plains of his face, the small smile playing on his lips as he slumbers, and the hair napping on his forehead. She grins, letting out a sigh, and removing her hand from beneath the warm blankets to touch his brow. Her fingers dance across his forehead and into his hair to push his messy brown strands away. But they come back down stubbornly, so she moves on. Now her fingers are at the corner of his left eye, tracing the invisible wrinkles that are normally visible when he's smiling with his brilliant blue eyes. Only now they are relaxed in sleep.

Next she drags her nails gently down the side of his face to his jaw, cupping his cheek and running her thumb over his bottom lip. His mouth parts as he dreams, and a sigh escapes those lips, pushing warm air onto her flesh. Her hand tingles shooting up her arm and spreading to the rest of her body.

The image now changes. She's standing in his shirt and a pair of her pj pants at his stove. Bacon sizzling in the pan, while Castle shuffles about behind her, gathering plates and cups. At the corner of her eye, she spots him placing a steaming cup of coffee down to her right, and then suddenly, as she's pushing the spatula under a pile of bacon, his arms are around her from behind. His lips at her neck. She feels, more than hears him breath her in. His voice rumbling against her skin as he tells her she smells like cherries. She drops the spatula aside the frying pan and turns around, careful not to back into the stove. She goes up onto her tip toes, and presses her lips to his, pulling back just a little to hum against them.

"You taste like coffee." She says, before turning around to finish up breakfast.

Now she's lounging on the couch in the living room. Her head on Castle's shoulder, and Alexis snuggled into her side. Father and daughter are bickering about something in the movie the little family are watching. Martha cuts the two of them off, agreeing with something Alexis said. Kate laughs, and then lifts her head when Castle asks her what she thinks. Her brow raises mischievously while looking between the two red heads and then she pats Castle on the chest, having to agree with his mother and daughter.

She bites her lip at the pout that curves his mouth down to one side more than the other, complaining halfheartedly. "Is this how it's going to be for now on, now that your living here?" And then he mumbles about how the women in his life always gang up on him.

Time moves on a little in her fantasy world. To stolen kisses at the precinct. Late nights, unlocking the door to their loft as quietly as possible. Slipping out her heels so as not to make a sound and tip toeing into his office to find he is waiting up for her, typing away on his laptop. Other times She would her sneaking into bed, sliding under the warm covers. Thinking he's asleep to then have him wrap his arms around her and mumble how much he missed her.

And then there is the proposal. She can't even imagine how he would do it. But she would say yes. They would plan a small wedding, because despite his need to make everything big and extravagant, he would relent just for her. Aside from everything else...Kate does not think about thumbing through bridal magazines for the perfect dress, or the colors and themes, location or the guests they will have. None of that matters to her. All Kate Beckett cares about, is the man standing beside her. What happens next. Everything else leading up to it, is the past. It's far behind them and now they only look towards the future, together with their little family. A family only he can give her, something she hasn't had in a very long time. Not only is it enough...it's everything.

Kate lowers her cup, with a nod in a firm confirmation. "With Castle."

Thoughts? Love? Hate? pleeeaaase let me know!