Chapter 14

The ride home from April's is quiet, both contemplating the events from the past two days.

As they arrive home, they both agree to go change and meet back downstairs. Arizona is finished getting ready before Callie and decides to light the fire. She goes and grabs a bottle of wine and some glasses. She grabs a clean blanket from the closet, makes sure they have the TV remote for a movie later, and then she sits by the couch in front of the fire.

Callie walks down and sees what Arizona has done. She gives her a small smile as she walks over to sit next to her.

"Hey. Would you like some wine? I don't know if it's still your favorite, but I thought it might work for tonight." Arizona holds the bottle up to show Callie.

"I'd love some, thank you. And yes... it's still my favorite."

Arizona fills the glass and hands it to Callie. Callie takes the glass in one hand and then reaches to hold Arizona's hand with the other.

"You don't have any idea how much I have missed this." Arizona leans further into Callie

"This right here used to be our favorite thing to do," Callie says. Arizona looks at her and smirks.

"Hmm, I don't know about that. I think our favorite thing to do used to involve... how should I say it, less clothes?"

Callies bursts out laughing. "Well, I see you still have a one-track mind."

"Well, Calliope, it seems you bring out that side of me. I can't apologize for it, because I could never be sorry for that," she laughs.

"We used to spend so many nights laying here with a fire. In the winter, it is what I really looked forward to... coming home and snuggling up with you."

"I see where your son gets it. He seems to be quite the snuggler."

"Yeah. He really is. It's one of my favorite things about him."

"You know, he is a really wonderful little boy. You have done an amazing job with him. He is loving, smart, has a great sense of humor, and has your amazing smile. And those dimples... oh my goodness, Arizona. I don't know how you tell him no on anything," Callie admits with a soft smile.

"Well, I have to say, he does get by with a lot, but not usually with me. It's usually the grandparents and Tim that those dimples work on. I can resist them."

"I think you are stronger than I am then." Callie squeezes Arizona's hand as she laughs. "Those Robbins Dimples are hard to resist."

Arizona laughs and then squeezes Callie's hand before she sits up straighter and looks at Callie. "I believe they are Robbins-Torres dimples, Calliope."

Arizona considers her statement. "Calliope, about Zac's name..."

"Arizona, I already told you, his name didn't upset me. He is your son, and I don't blame you for giving him an "I" name to go with Isaiah and Isabella. We always said we would keep finding I names. I wouldn't ever expect you to not do something because of me."

"I didn't know how you would react to that though. I was afraid it would be a painful reminder. I debated it long and hard when I chose his name. After we decided on Isaiah and Isabella, before we had the babies, Isaac was always in the back of my head. It would have been my second choice. When I found out Zac was going to be a boy, it just seemed right."

"It's a beautiful name. What is his middle name?"

"Daniel. After my dad of course. Colonel didn't seem to fit," Arizona says laughing.

"No, I'd say not. It's not that I don't like it, but why didn't you quit using my last name?"

"We are still married. There was no reason for me to quit using it. And of course, I wanted Zac and I to have the same name. It honestly has never felt right to just go back to Robbins. You are a part of me now. It will always be who I am. Even when we have been apart, you are so much still here," Arizona replies with her hand over her own heart.

After debating with herself, she decides she needs to tell Callie the whole truth about Zac.

"Calliope. There's something I need to tell you about Zac. And I know you will probably have some mixed feelings, and that's ok, but I need you to know."

"You used the same donor that we used?"

"What? How did you know?"

"I didn't, until now. I kind of suspected. You had always said if our pregnancy didn't take, you wanted to keep using the same donor until we it did. You always liked that he looked so much like you."

"How do you feel about it? Are you upset?"

Callie takes a moment to gather her thoughts. "No... You and I thought that was the best donor out of all the ones we looked at. And there were a lot that we looked at. I wouldn't expect you to ever pick someone different. I wouldn't want you to have anything but the best."

"You really aren't upset?"

"I'm really not. No matter how many kids we had, you always made it known you wanted them to have the same donor. And even if it would have been you and I, I would have done the same thing."

Arizona nods. "Thank you. I wasn't sure how you would feel about it. I mean, I look at him and watch what he does and things he says, and I can't help but think what the babies would have been like. If they would laugh like him, or if they would have had your laugh. I wonder if they would have had your temper or if they would have been easy going like Zac."

"I can't believe you think I have a temper..." Callie says acting offended.

"Oh, you do. But it can be very… sexy."

"There you go again."

Arizona just laughs as she runs her thumb along the back of Callie's hand.

"I always wonder if Isabella would have had your smile. I love your smile and always hoped I would get to see it when I looked at her."

"I always wanted them to have dimples like you. I knew odds were against blue eyes, but I really wanted them both to have your dimples. I think that's why when I look at Zac, I don't think I could ever tell him no. He just looks so much like you and it just melts my heart."

"You and the dimples," Arizona says smiling. "You know, it's hard to believe the babies would have been in first grade this year." Arizona wipes the tears that begins to fall as she says it, giving Callie a small smile.

"I know. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about them. What they would have been like, how much fun we would have had, how amazing it would have been just watching you with them."

"I have the same thoughts. Every day."

They sit in silence for a few minutes. Both quietly reflecting. Both wondering what the other is thinking.

"Thank you. For talking about them… I know it's hard. It helps me though… to talk about them."

"I'm sorry I shut down on you. I wasn't able to see it until now. But I did. I completely shut down. And you are right. I was depressed and I was wallowing in self pity. Arizona, I can't believe I just walked away from you ..." Callie starts crying as she continues to talk.

"I walked away from you when I should have been clinging to you. God, I don't even know what I was thinking. I just, I blamed myself and really thought that all these years, you did too."

"Callie, I told you I didn't blame you. It was an accident. But, I know you were grieving. And when that happens, we can't always think clearly."

"I went to therapy, you know, when I left. I knew I needed help, but after I went, I just, felt worse. She was telling me the same things you had been telling me. And I just, I couldn't understand that it wasn't my fault. So I quit after a few sessions. I wish I could do it over and would have stayed with it."

Arizona was stunned that Callie had done that. "I wish you would have stayed here. We could have went together. I could have helped you."

"Arizona, I think it took.. me coming back six years later to see what I couldn't see then. I'm sorry. I'm so, so, so sorry it has taken me this long. I truly thought I was doing what was best for you. I blamed myself for losing our babies and then when they told me I couldn't have any more, I felt like I was letting you down again. I felt like I was a failure and I shut down. I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry."

Arizona pulls Callie to her and holds her as she cries. For the first time in years, she cries and lets go." Arizona continues to hold her and soothes her.

Callie, finally, after what seems like forever, pulls back and looks at Arizona.

"I am so sorry Arizona. You deserve so much better than how I treated you. I was so, so stupid for walking away and…"

"Yeah, you were incredibly stupid for doing that. But you were grieving. I could barely understand it at the time, because I was too. I was so frustrated with you. And when you came back the other day, I couldn't believe you were still as infuriating as before, still blaming yourself."

"The past two days, Arizona, you have shown me that everything I thought you believed about me, isn't true. I never thought you would want me around any kids after that. And you just, you willingly let me be part of everything. You didn't push me, you just showed me through every thing you did, how much you love me."

"Calliope, I'm not going to lie… I have been so mad at you. I know you were grieving, but you made some stupid decisions. And... and I was so, so mad. But more than that, I still love you. More than anything."

Callie just starts crying again. Harder than she cried a few minutes ago.

"Arizona…" she says shaking her head. "There are things I need to tell you. And I'm not sure how you are going to take what I have to say, but I'm asking you, to please, please let me explain."

"Ok," Arizona says sitting back apprehensively.

"You need to know, that when I left, it wasn't because I didn't love you. I loved you so much and I only thought I was doing what was best for you. And I can see now how wrong I was. I am so, so sorry. But, I want to spend the rest of my life making it up to you, if you will let me. I love you and…"

That's all it takes for Arizona to cover Callie's lips with her own. Arizona can't wait another second. This is what she has wanted to hear for so long.

Arizona has her hands on the back of Callie's neck bringing her closer. It isn't until Arizona moans that Callie pulls back.

"Arizona…" she tries to say as she is kissed again. We need… we need to stop."

Arizona pulls back worriedly. "This isn't what you wanted? I'm, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have just done that. I didn't..."

Callie cuts her ramblings off by planting another small kiss on her lips.

"No... stop. It's not that. Arizona, I love you, and I meant what I said. I want to spend the rest of my life making it up to you." She sees Arizona becoming hopeful.

"At work, all day, every day, I spend my time editing things. I am always correcting someone else's mistakes and trying to make what they have already done a little better. But now, it's my turn to edit my mistakes... if you will let me. I need to correct all my wrongs. But there is something I need to tell you and you might decide that's not what you want after I tell you."

"Callie, if you tell me there is a chance for us to be together, I will be the happiest woman in the world. Nothing else you say can change my mind on that…"

"Arizona, I love you. So, so much. You need to understand, that when I left that I thought you were better off without me. When I sent you divorce papers, in my mind, we were over. Those papers meant that I had given you up. That was my punishment to myself for what happened. And I know that might not make sense to you, but in my mind, I didn't deserve you. To me, our marriage was over."

"Callie, that's usually what divorce papers mean. I'm not a genius, but I do not know that."

"Yeah, but you didn't sign them. And I kept sending them to you. I had to tell myself we were done though. That signature, was just a technicality in my mind. I know how this is going to sound, and I know how stupid I was being, but in my mind, you blamed me and I thought you were just not signing them out of spite. I couldn't see it was the total opposite. I can"t believe how stupid I was Arizona."

Callie takes a deep breath and closes her eyes. When she opens them, she begins to tell Arizona the rest. "Arizona, I met someone. It's not something I planned. It just kind of happened and..."

Arizona cuts her off, "Callie, I don't care. I went out with someone too. Granted it was only one time and I realized I couldn't ever be with someone else, but still. I went out with someone too."

The fact Callie wasn't smart enough to come to the same realization makes this even harder. Callie realizes that telling her this next part, will be harder than she ever thought.

Callie starts to open her mouth to say something, but Arizona cuts her off. Maybe Arizona is just as afraid of hearing what Callie has to say as much as Callie dreads saying it.

"Callie, can we put this on pause for tonight? I am exhausted. Just, very emotionally exhausted. I am so glad we are talking about things and I have waited for years to hear you say that you still love me. So what I would really like to do is to just lay in your arms for tonight."

"I really have more that I need to tell you Arizona."

"And you can. But later. I am exhausted and it's late and I really have to be able to get up and get things ready for the party tomorrow. I promise, we can finish this conversation. Just, not tonight."

Callie makes sure their wine glasses are put where they won't spill. She reaches back on the couch and pulls some pillows off and grabs the blanket that Arizona had laying there. She arranges the pillows and lays back, pulling Arizona with her.

Arizona lays with her head on Callie's chest. Callie hands Arizona the remote but she just lays it down. "I think I just want to lay here in the quiet. I've missed this so much, I just can't even tell you."

"I love you."

"I love you too, Arizona."

It didn't take long for either of them to fall asleep. Callie dreaded the rest of the conversation. She knew Arizona would be more than hurt by it, she just hopes she can forgive her.

The next thing they know, a phone ringing is bringing them out of sleep. As Arizona reaches for it, she sleepily answers.

"Hello. What? Tim, why would I do that?" Arizona asks reaching for the remote.

"What's wrong Arizona?" Callie sleepily mumbles.

What happens next takes them both by surprise.

One the tv, they hear... " Thanks for joining us here on New York Daily. As we said before break, Cameron Marshall has just announced her engagement to up and coming editor, Miss Callie Torres. Congratulations Cam!"

"Thank you. We are very, very excited." Cameron beams.

"I hear we have a picture of the happy couple?"

"Absolutely," Cameron says, right as a picture shows up on the screen of Cameron and Callie. The screen then flashes to Cameron who is all smiles.

"What the hell, Callie?"

AN: It was only a matter of time... Things always get worse before they get better! But…they will get better!