A/N: This chapter contains references to season's one "Blindsided".

Chapter fourteen

Hospital

"Hi, princess," Doug muttered softly. He looked at his friend's face and felt a lump on his throat. Judy's mouth was pale and she seemed weak.

"Hi," Judy said weakly, trying to smile.

"You're doing well," Doug said emotionally. Seeing his friend lying on a hospital bed whispering words was breaking his heart. "Soon, you'll go back home…"

Judy sighed heavily. "Where's Hanson?" she asked.

Doug rubbed the back of his neck. "He'll see you later… He can't be here now, has a lot of work to do, you know how it is."

"Is he fine? I mean, Amy didn't hurt him… Did she?" she asked in angst. Her mother assured her Tom was fine, but she still feared for his safety.

Doug quickly shook his head. "No, she didn't. Tom's fine, really… He can't be here now, but he'll see you soon," he promised.

"You're not lying to me, don't you?" she asked suspiciously.

"Of course not," he said softly. "Look, he's really worried about you… and he will be here to see you…"

Judy smiled. "I miss him…" she said weakly.

Doug frowned. "You should rest… Don't worry, he'll see you…"

Chapel locker room

Doug walked slowly into the locker room and looked at Tom. He didn't want to upset his friend, but Tom needed to see Judy.

"Hey, man," Doug said, standing in front of him.

Tom looked up. "Did you see Judy? How's she?" he asked in genuine concern.

"She wants to see you," Doug quickly replied.

"I'll go tomorrow," Tom said, lowering his head.

Doug knew it was a lie, but he didn't understand why his friend was avoiding Judy. Was it because of Amy or because he was raped? Or both? Then Doug suddenly realized it. Tom had feelings for Judy and he was too ashamed to see her. "You need to see her today," he said firmly.

"Doug…"

"She's deadly worried about you," Doug snapped at him. "She was afraid that Amy hurt you too…"

Tom looked at his friend with wide eyes. "She shouldn't worry about me…"

"But the truth is she cares about you… and you care about her," Doug said, shaking his head. "You two are in love with each other…"

Tom rubbed the back of his neck. "We're friends…"

Doug smirked. "There it is. The look. Like her, you have a twinkle in your eyes. You're in love with her. I knew it…"

"It doesn't matter!" Tom shouted at him. "I can't be with her…"

"Why?" Doug asked, fearing the answer.

"You know exactly why," Tom said sadly. "I'm filthy… I can't do this to her; she deserves better…"

Doug sighed heavily. "You're not filthy… What happened wasn't your fault…"

"I shouldn't go to that clinic, I should've listen to our captain," Tom shook his head. "I was too stubborn to listen to him and I was… Oh God! It was my entire fault ," his voice cracked.

"Do you remember Diane Nelson?" Doug asked.

"Of course I remember," Tom frowned. "What she…" he suddenly stopped. He could remember the raining day when Diane Nelson stormed into his Mustang and offered "Tom McQuaid" $1.700 to kill her own father. Tom started to wonder why a young teenager like Diane would want her father dead. Then he started his own investigation and found out that Diane was a victim of abuse, her father, Captain Nelson, was raping her.

"You visited her in the hospital. You told me the paramedics had to sedate her after you shoot her father… Do you remember what she told you?" Doug asked, looking straight into his friend eyes.

Tom lowered his head. "She was afraid no one would like her again because she was molested."

"I'm disgusting", she said to him and he felt his heart breaking in pieces.

Tom remembered. He could say nothing. He just kissed her forehead, knowing that nothing he would say would console her.

"She was wrong then and you're wrong now. You're not filthy, Tom. Rafferty molested you, he was filthy. You… You have the right to be happy, to find someone," Doug said emotionally, resting a hand over Tom's shoulder. "You're like a brother to me and I won't let you blame yourself for this."

Tom shut his eyes closed. "You're like a brother to me too…"

Doug gave him his bear hug. "Sorry for keep the secret… I didn't know what to do… Forgive me…"

"I forgive you, Doug," Tom said. "I forgive you."