"Why, Daddy?" Arianna has a mixture of confusion and sadness etched on her petite 5 year-old features.
"Honey, it's complicated..." I try to dismiss her and her question, but my daughter is way too smart for that. She puts her hands on her hips and juts one out to the side. Giving me a stern stare, she doesn't even have to say anything before I cave. "Okay, okay, Arianna. I wasn't very nice to Sonny a couple of days ago. I was mad at your Mom, but..."
"But you took it out on Sonny?" she finishes my sentence.
"Yes. I took my anger at your Mom out on Sonny. It's already been a couple of days and he hasn't sent me a text since Sunday night. Plus , now I get the flowers I ordered for him returned. I'm getting the feeling that Sonny doesn't want to fix this." I am calm but dejected. Although I'm used to my romantic relationships suddenly taking a nose dive when I introduce my daughter, I had convinced myself that this time would be different. Well, this time certainly is different; the guy's not running from my daughter, he's running from me.
"Call Sonny," is all Arianna says to me. She still has her hands on her hips and looks so terribly adorable and grown-up.
I pick up my phone and scroll right to Sonny on my favorites. There he is, beautiful smile, mussed, thick hair, and the special twinkle in his eyes he only shares with me. Shared. I set the phone down almost as quickly as I picked it up. "I'm not sure, pumpkin. He might not want to talk to me," and I run my fingers through my hair and lean back on the counter, right next to the still unopened bouquet.
I get an idea. It's not a very good one, and quite frankly is a little on the manipulative side, but right now I don't really care. I need to know why he did this and if our relationship is really beyond salvageable. "Arianna, honey, I am going to take a minute and splash some water on my face, okay? Then maybe I'll try to call." I walk down the hallway towards the bathroom, I turn on the water and then quickly sneak back into the hall. I get there just in time.
"Sonny?" my daughter's voice is slightly timid but firm at the same time. I hear a pause and figure it's Sonny responding, thinking it's me calling him. "Yes, Sonny, this is Arianna."
There's more silence, I'm sure Sonny's at least a little worried why my 5 year old is calling him instead of me.
"I'm fine, Sonny. But Daddy isn't." My daughter doesn't mince words...she gets straight to the point. "He's sad because you sent his flowers back."
I'm still eavesdropping and wishing I could be in on both sides of the conversation. "You did, too. The flowers were just delivered. Daddy put them on the counter without even opening them."
I hurry back into the bathroom to turn off the water and make my way to Arianna in the kitchen. I for sure don't want to miss this next part of her conversation with Sonny. Hopefully my sleuth of a daughter will help me figure out why Sonny didn't want my flowers.
"What?" Arianna questions as I return to the kitchen and pretend to look puzzled.
"Who are you talking to, sweetie?" I whisper, but I already know.
"Sonny." she responds to me simply. "Daddy, open up the flowers and read the card." She points to the box on the counter, and I hesitate and remain in my place. "I won't take 'no' for an answer," she says to me, hands still on her hips. Gosh my daughter is intense...and slightly on the bossy side. But this is my own doing; I knew that if I left my phone sit on the table with Sonny's picture pulled up, my daughter would almost certainly call Sonny herself. She much prefers harmony in her life and isn't afraid, even at the tender young age of 5, to try to right things herself. She is such a gift to me.
Because I seem frozen to the spot, Arianna picks up the box unsteadily and the vase is moved from counter to table. I slowly untie the knot at the top of the plastic and spread it down over the bottom of the box. The overwhelming scent of Stargazer Lillies affronts me, and I reach into the middle of the flowers to retrieve the card.
"Will?" is all I can manage.
My daughter doesn't get it. "Daddy?'
"That's what the card says," and I start to get excited. "The card in this bouquet is addressed to Will! WTF!" It's out of my mouth before I even process what I've said. Hopefully Arianna won't ask what that stands for. I take a large step towards Arianna and hold out my hand for the phone. She nods and gives it to me.
"Sonny?" I say softly, wanting so badly just to hear his voice. "You sent me flowers?"
"And you sent me flowers," he replies, and I can hear the small smile in his voice. "Did you read the card, Will?"
"Ummm, no, not yet," and I pull the note from its envelope. "Dear Will, I am so sorry. Please forgive me. I miss you more than you can imagine. Love, Sonny." I read the card aloud.
"Dear Sonny, you have every right to be frustrated. I'm being a stubborn jerk even though I know that you are only trying to protect me. Call or text if you are willing to give me another chance. I miss you like crazy. Love, Will," Sonny finishes reading my card to him and sighs heavily into the phone. "You sent stargazer lillies."
"So did you."
"I thought you returned them to me - rejected my apology gift. When the delivery person brought them into the shop, I thought it was over. I've never felt that heartbroken before, Will."
"I know. The delivery person dropped the flowers off, and I couldn't even speak I was so devastated." My emotions are still pretty raw and my voice cracks reliving that moment when I thought Sonny had refused my flowers. "I'm such an ass..." and I hear my daughter give a little gasp at my use of a 'bad word'. Truthfully, I had kind of forgotten she was still there. "Arianna, honey, why don't you go into your room and play?" My daughter gives me a look that I can only imagine I will be seeing surface again often during her teenage years; it is a cross between contempt, repugnance and resignation.
"Daaa-dddy..." she says very sweetly. This tone, too, I envision hearing again frequently over the years.
"No arguing with me Arianna." I am a sucker for my daughter, but I want now more than anything to just focus on Sonny, to hear the relief in his voice and the anticipation and promises of our reconciliation.
"Fine. Can I at least tell Sonny bye?" she squints her eyes at me and pouts, arms across her chest. It's still not working.
"Yes you can," and I hand the phone to her, assuming Sonny has heard the exchange I've just had with my daughter. Arianna holds the phone to her ear for several seconds, her eyebrows knitting together in confusion.
"Sonny?" she's obviously interrupting him. I hear her pause. "Okay. Well, I wanted to tell you good-bye." More silence and she's nodding her head. I hope that's not her answer to a critical question. I still think it's cute everytime she nods or shakes her head believing that somehow the person on the other end can see her response. "Bye!' and the phone is suddenly back in my hand, Arianna's hair flying behind her as she runs to her bedroom.
I put the phone up to my ear. "Hi again honey," I whisper seductively now that little ears are no long present.
"Will?"
"Who do you think this is? Your other boyfriend?" I tease him but secretly make myself nervous for just a second considering the possibility.
"No, he's out of town this week," he quips back at me, knowing that is NOT what I want to hear.
"Sonny..."
"Just kidding, my love." I'm so relieved to hear him call me that. I can't help but allow a giddy grin to take over my face. "But you could have given me a little bit of a warning before putting your 5 year old daughter on the phone."
"I thought you heard us! She said she wanted to tell you good-bye, so I let her."
"Well, I'm afraid she might have heard a few words children her age shouldn't know just yet," Sonny says apologetically.
"Oh God, Sonny. I'm so sorry! What might she have heard?" I am curious for two reasons: I want to know what I might have to deal with should Arianna decide later that she wants an explanation AND I want to hear from my sexy lover, who I have missed terribly over the last few days, the wonderful sweet nothings he intended for me to hear.
"Ummm, well, I think I said something about not being able to wait to caress you and feel your hard body against mine."
"It could have been a lot worse, babe. At least you weren't...uh...too obscene. You didn't address specific hard body parts did you?"
"No! No, Will, nothing like that! Although it's not because I'm not thinking about it..." his voice takes on a husky quality, and I shiver at the thought of skin on skin, hardness to hardness, Sonny's face as I watch him, how it distorts when my touches make him cry out with pleasure.
Swallowing, I manage breathlessly, "yeah, me too. I keep remembering the night...and morning we spent together before our stupid fight."
"Well, keep focusing on that babe. Because the next time I see you, I am going to rip off your clothes and have my way with you."
"Is that so?" I can only whisper and try to catch my breath. I'm there now, in my dreams, knocking on his door, attacking him with passionate kisses as we grab at each other, trying to close his front door and make it to the bedroom without passing out from all of our pent up desire.
"Daddy?" Arianna scares the crap out of me, and I lean in closer to the counter trying to hide my arousal.
"Just a second, Sonny," I pull the phone from my ear and smile at my daughter.
"I have to go potty."
"Well, you know where the bathroom is...go ahead and go. You know I've told you that you don't have to ask or tell me when you have to go. Just...go." Sometimes I find this endearing. Right now, I am feeling embarrassed, like she just busted me reading a dirty magazine.
"Okay, Daddy. Are you still on the phone with Sonny?" She doesn't let me answer. "Why doesn't he just come over?"
"Because, pumpkin, Sonny is at work right now. He can't just leave."
"But he's the boss," she replies stubbornly.
"Arianna Grace!" I interrupt her sternly, "didn't you have to go to the bathroom?" I try to get her back on task.
"Oh yes!" and she's off just as fast as she came.
I pull the phone back to my ear and can only hear the sound of Sonny chuckling openly and heartily. "You know, your daughter is adorable, Will."
"Usually I'd agree...right now, not so much." But I can't help but chuckle at my precocious but still freaking adorable child. "We were just getting to the good stuff," I whine into the phone softly.
"Don't worry. When you come over tonight, we won't be limited to just talking. We can properly make up." I start to breathe a little faster and feel some tingling below my belt.
"I-I'm coming over tonight?"
"I hope so. Can you find someone to watch Arianna? Because I really, really want to see you badly, Will." His voice is raspy and suggestive, and I'm almost hard once again.
"Yes." I say without a moment's hesitation. "Yes, if Gabi's not home then I'm sure my Mom and my sisters would love to have her sleep over."
"Good. I don't want you to have to leave later. I'm planning on wearing you out so much you won't be able to anyway."
"Promise?"
"Promise." There's a peaceful, dreamy silence when we both stop to think about what the night holds for us. "I'm off at 7. You want to meet me at my place at 8?"
"How about 7:30?" I respond boldly. A half hour does make a lot of difference.
"Even better. Okay, Will, I'll see you then."
"Okay. Hey, is there anything I can bring?"
"Just your tight, sexy ass. And maybe some serious stamina."
"Done." I laugh at him, remembering that he is still at work and hoping he's taken this conversation to his office or at least the stock room.
"I love you so much, Will. I can't wait to see you." His words soothe my aching heart like balm on a wound. I hate when we fight and vow to never do it again. It's just too painful to be without Sonny for even one day.
"I love you, too, Sonny. See you at 7:30."
(^(^(^(^)^)^)^)^)
"Are you all packed and ready to go, pumpkin?" I poke my head in the doorway to Arianna's bedroom, watch her grab Mama E and her favorite short-haired Barbie and zip them up into her overnight bag.
"I am Daddy! I am excited to have a sleep over with Grammy Sami and Sydney and Allie and Johnny!" Her blue eyes light up in anticipation. Just then we hear a knock on the door, and we both rush to let my mom in.
"You be good, Arianna!" I pick her up and snuggle her to me, kissing her cheeks and nose and the top of her head.
"I will, Daddy," and she squeezes me back with equal enthusiasm. "Daddy?"
"Yes, dear,"
"I think you are soft. Sonny says you're hard, but I don't think so."
"Well," I stumble just a second and try to recover, "that's because I cuddle with you in a very special way, and I don't cuddle with anyone else like that."
"Oh, okay." She's pacified but my mother is not. She raises her eyebrows at me.
"He means muscular, Mom. You know like 'rock hard abs'?" Her eye roll lets me know that she does't buy it for one second.
"Okay, Will. Sure." She grabs Arianna's bag with one arm and takes Arianna's hand in hers, leading her out to the car. "Come on sweetie. Allie and Sydney and Johnny can't wait to see you!" And with that my daughter practically skips down the sidewalk to the driveway.
"Good bye honey!" I yell at my daughter. "Have fun at your sleepover..." I certainly plan to have a great time at mine.
Mom gets her buckled into her booster seat and turns back once more to wave at me. "Be good Will. Oh, and have fun working out those rock hard abs." My mouth flies open in complete surprise at my mom's audacity. She smiles more to herself, settles into the driver's seat, and navigates her way out of our drive. I give one last wave to Arianna and head back inside to shower and change.
"Oh Mom...I'm not sure about the being good part, but I can guarantee you I will have lots of fun 'working out' with Sonny. In fact, I'm hoping to be a bit sore in the morning..." I mumble to myself as I grab a towel and start the water. "Sore and tired...and satisfied." I step into the shower and start getting ready for my own sleepover.