Heroes of Summer 12 in which I have a hangover

VERY IMPORTANT NOTE IN AUTHOR'S NOTE AT BOTTOM.

Rating: (M) This chapter has sexual situations and cursing.

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

~MaraJadeblu

? Outside… ?

Ch 12: Edward

I woke up to rocks pounding against my head. First of all, I rarely slept, so this was strange. Second of all, when I cracked an eye open, I saw sky above me. The clouds vibrated in tandem with the pain radiating in waves from my eyes and ears. Now, why was that?

It turned out no one was pelting my head with rocks. The repetitive sound causing me so much pain was the crashing of waves. I was on a cliff near the beach, and as I thought back, I must have chosen this spot to make sure I didn't hurt anyone on my bender.

Metropolis City, Washington, USA

June 22, 2012 5:30PM

I still couldn't move. "Jerk!" Huh, I expected to feel more murderous... but I just feel, empty. Maybe I'm in shock. "Hey, idiot! Move it!" The carousel slammed into me again, and I blandly considered ripping it from the ground and tossing it across the street. Nah.

That was a night when I really wished I could get drunk. I was ready to try- hard, harder than I had ever tried before, but that was when I got a call from Carlisle. I picked it up automatically, and finally walked through the carousel.

"What's wrong son? Alice texted saying your future just went wild."

The person trapped behind me brushed into me with a huff. I felt a mixture of emptiness and a desire to kill as their scent wafted over me. "She's taken." My voice sounded empty to my own ears, like I was far away from myself. I didn't even register that Carlisle didn't technically know about my crush.

There was a pause on the line. "I'm sorry son. That doesn't change much for tonight's plan though. You still can't hear her, so lets head over to her place and see what there is to see."

I imagined her, coming home in the arms of another- kissing, touching... My vision went red. "What if I kill him, Carlisle?"

"I won't let you. Tonight, I will be there."

I still wasn't sure, but it sounded good. I was trying to process or ignore the swirl of feelings in my gut. Primarily, I wanted to turn back time to before I saw what I saw. Failing that, I wanted desperately to forget what I couldn't forget.

The memory kept playing over and over again in crystal clarity as I went back upstairs, gathered my stuff, and left by rooftop to Ms. Swan's building. I waited on the roof for Carlisle, afraid of what I would do once inside. Of course, I could hear the entire building, and I knew she and her... She and he weren't there, yet.

I was counting the seconds and calculating wind speed based on cloud movement to pass the time when Carlisle arrived seven minutes later. "She isn't here? Good."

"If she were here, I hope I wouldn't be." God, her and I alone? The images made me throb with desire, hunger and fear. I also had a new burning violence roaring inside of me. The image of her wrapping her arms around another man was making me want to vomit, or destroy something, or kiss her. Doing nothing was slowly eating away at me from the inside.

"Come on." Again, Carlisle distracted me, and I was grateful for anything that wasn't the torture replaying in my head. "Alice says she lives on the top floor. There's a balcony."

We checked the sides of the building, found the small cement balcony, and dropped down when we were sure no one was looking. Carlisle stood watch while I prepared to break into her apartment.

Not creepy at all.

The door slid open easily, too easily. It wasn't even locked. She slept here, vulnerable and desirable, and frail, and she didn't even think to lock a door leading outside? My chest clenched with the thought that she needed me to protect her. I could stand outside on the balcony every night and keep watch for her...

Oh yeah, not creepy. At all.

We slipped inside, and the smell wrapped the inside of my lungs. It was a combination of her smell, of honeysuckle and pine, and another more cloying scent of vanilla and lilac. I wanted to live here. I could almost feel her.

She left a tea cup next to the sink with tea residue, Earl Grey, I thought. Most of the decor and odds and ends weren't hers, which was a shame because I was scanning for any way to feel closer to her. Now that I had a taste of her scent in a private environment, I only wanted more.

I almost growled at Carlisle when he stepped into view. For a millisecond, I thought there was an intruder in Bella's apartment.

Yea, there was. The intruder was me.

I had been standing there, struck by her scent and her clothes and her tea and her periwinkle blue sheets with stray brown hairs. It was the fourth time today that Bella Swan left me physically reeling one way or another. I wanted to roll around on her bed and bury myself in her pillow.

"Edward?"

Oh. Carlisle. Right. Why were we here again? "Do you notice anything?" I managed.

"She smells like Forks." This time I really did growl. What did he need to smell her for? "Calm down, Edward. So far, nothing extraordinary indicating why she resists your mind-reading."

I sighed, and finally stepped into the room. I left the door open behind me, afraid of what her scent in close quarters would do to my concentration. "I'll check her diet, and you check her bathroom for medicines." The reason for this split might have something do with my ravenous desire to learn more about her habits. Apparently, she liked tea. Earl Grey, Twinings tea, or Celestial Seasonings herbal teas. I checked other cabinets and found some food staples: pasta, bread, spreads, sauces. So, she cooked, but there still wasn't much food. I remembered her lunch earlier in the day, and my innards clenched. She must need to eat more, right?

She was skinny, and tall, with a high metabolic rate, so why didn't she eat more? I checked for signs of exercise: weights, running shoes, timers-nothing. I did find a stack of movies and cds near the entertainment system that had her scent on them. She listened to and watched an eclectic mix. No romances in the movies, no country in the music, and oddly similar to my own taste. Some of the movies were a little morbid, like Pan's Labyrinth and some classic Zombie/horror movies. Who was I to complain? I was the stuff of horror films come to life, whatever I was. There was a box set of something called "Game of Thrones", which I vaguely recalled was a popular HBO show in the Fantasy genre. At the bottom was an impressive stack of movies from the recent comic book / Hollywood trend. The new Christopher Nolan Batmans, the X-men movies, Spiderman, Superman, Hellboy, Sin City, Watchmen, etc. all sitting on her shelf. It made me nervous, as if she might be more likely to suspect my horrific nature because she was a fan of fantasy action flicks.

The stack had a slight residue of smell. Something subtle underneath everything else. It was leather and denim, very masculine, but underneath that it was damp soil. Who the hell was this?

I sniffed around her room like a madman for a while, trying to find where this scent was coming from, and it had clearly been a male visitor. A flash of the motorcycle jacket over jeans reminded me of Bella's arms around another lover's waist, and I had to step outside to breath before I smashed something.

More importantly, where was the scent located? Obviously, the neanderthal had had his paws all over her movies, but where else had he been? I found a spot on the floor in front of the television that reeked of him, and then... because I was a masochist, I checked the bed.

He had been there.

I couldn't swallow. Something was stuck in my throat. I kept telling my eyes to move, my fists to unclench, my throat to wet, but I was stuck in the small hell of my creation.

Her arms, snaking around his naked torso as they watched something together and "fooled around" on the bed. Her head, thrown back in pleasure as he kissed and nipped at her sweet skin. The indents of his fingers in her side and her thigh, the sound of her sighs, and her fingers clutching the pillow or the headboard-

Riiiiiiip.

I had torn her sheet. I stared at it, contemplating.

"Edward, what are you doing? You ripped her sheet-" My phone started ringing. I didn't move, so Carlisle fished it out. "Hello? Alice, he's right here."

"Tell him to go to Emmett if he has to- but he shouldn't stay there, or come back here tonight."

Carlisle looked at me sideways, "He heard you. I'll stay with him."

"If you can't... if he needs to be alone, tell him to ask Emmett."

Emmett.

Emmett.

Why was that important?

I blinked up at the sky, and tried to figure out what Emmett had to do with my being here. After that, we waited for Bella, not because we had to, but because I refused to leave. Part of me just wanted to see her and know she was safe, part of me wanted to make sure she wasn't with that cave man anymore, and another part of me was afraid of what I would do once I couldn't focus on her anymore.

Carlisle assured me that her eating habits were not something we needed to be concerned about. He was also convinced that the boy had nothing to do with it, and there was no reason to stalk him. Damnit.

We waited until about two in the morning, and finally Carlisle put his hand to my shoulder, "Sorry son, but it looks like she won't be home tonight."

Even lying on the cool rocks, staring up at the sky, I still felt the echo of physical pain at that revelation. She was spending the night at his place. She was "with" someone else. In the biblical sense.

I groaned and curled into a ball, which consequently brought me upright. The pelting-me-with-rocks feeling turned into a ringing-my-head-like-a-churchbell feeling as a stumbled a bit for balance. I still had tranquilizers in my system, thanks to Emmett..

North Cascades National Park, Washington, USA

June 23, 2012 2:40AM

I rummaged through his hunting gear, looking like the madman I was. "Will this do it?"

"Geez louise, Ed! How many elephants you want to put to sleep there?"

I glared at him. He knew what I needed them for; it had been his idea! "You're the one with experience! How much do I need?"

"One of those would get me pretty happy." I took two.

In answer to his quizzical brow, I said: "I need more than 'happy', I need to forget!"

Emmett sighed. "Two of those, and you might not remember your own name. Just make sure you drink the animal before it dies from the OD you will inevitably be giving it. I've tried splitting it between two to three kills before, for flavor, and that worked pretty well."

"Thanks, brother." I put my hand on his large shoulder, and tried to convey how much I needed this. I had a plan at the time... six or seven deer. I got on their trial around three in the morning, and I couldn't remember much since then.

Forget? Oh, yes. I had no idea what had happened in the last three to six hours.

I debated going to work for a while. It was already ten, according to the sun. My phone was dead; I could only hope I hadn't broken it doing... Whatever the hell I was doing.

First things first- I needed to go home. Carlisle and Esme would be out of their minds with worry, and Alice too, for that matter. Emmett might have been looking for me as well. I got my bearings: I was on a cliff on the coast near La Push. That meant I was closer to home than Emmett's. I was also filthy, and my clothes were ruined. Esme was going to freak out when she saw the state of me.

Esme was hovering outside of my shower. I thought perhaps she would take the hint, but she was not to be deterred. As the only formerly human member of my family, she felt that her advice was imperative to my survival of this horrible crush. "Are you sure, dear, that there aren't better ways to deal with this than running off to get wasted on tranquilizers and disappearing from us for unknown periods of time?"

"For the last time, Mom, there isn't any other way of dealing with it. She has someone else, and I'm a death sentence to her anyway. There isn't a point in me sticking around and torturing myself."

"Don't talk about yourself that way! You have great control, with only a couple of slip ups here and there."

I laughed bitterly. "More than anything, I want to eat her. I can't afford to have even a minor 'slip up' around her, and she doesn't even want me! She has... someone."

"How sure are you that she's happy? How can you know she wouldn't be happier with you?"

From downstairs, I heard Carlisle mutter appreciatively, "Schrodinger's cat."

I rinsed vigorously in silence, mostly because I didn't have a brilliant response. I already knew those two questions were going to haunt me for the rest of my life.

Torture to stay; torture to go.

At least, if I left, I would be sure she was safe.

Safe from me, but not safe always.

If I stayed, I would be fighting the urge to kill her or her boyfriend day after day.

If I left, I would never be able to answer the questions: "Is she happy? Could I make her happier? Is she safe? Could I make her safer?" Would it be better to leave, never knowing? To not even try?

I turned the water off. It was only because I was a weak man, but I barely had a choice at all where she was concerned, "I'm going to work."

I needed to see if the cat was alive.

The Daily Planet, Metropolis City, Washington, USA

June 23, 2012 12:30PM

Ding.

I had never been so nervous about going to work. The anticipation was an exquisite mix of fear and hope. As it was after noon, the chances of her flaunting post-coital bed head or smelling like him were pretty minimal. It was her indifference that filled me with fear.

My phone vibrated in my pocket as I got into the elevator. It was a text from just about the last person I expected to hear from, and her name stirred up roiling memories that made my muscles lock in fear.

R: hey loser, r u alive?

Oh no. What the fuck, shit, and also no. Had I called her? She would not have contacted me on her own. Had Alice talked to her about me? I groaned, alone in the elevator, and was about to check my recent calls when the elevator doors opened.

I almost dropped my phone in shock. She was near; I could practically feel her like her heartbeat and breath were especially attuned to me.

I stumbled out of the elevator (or by my standards, I stumbled, by a human's, I probably looked fine). When my eyes came up, I scanned for hers... Honey, and pine bark, and the most beautiful soul peeking through...

No eyes... hair then. Chestnut brown waves with hints of fire in the sunlight... There she was, her head down, looking over some papers by Angela's desk. What the hell was she doing there, looking so glum? I scanned minds and huffed. She should be working on my project- not editing the captions of pictures!

I realized with a wave of guilt that by not showing up to work, I had left her to Jessica, who was in full bitch mode because of all the attention she was sure Bella was going to steal from her later.

Could I make her happier? Yes I could, at least, right now.

I walked towards her bent head, trying to swallow my nerves, trying not breathe and breathe at the same time, and finally, trying to find the right words so I wouldn't ruin everything... "What are you up to there?"

A ripple went through her body, and I saw all of her muscles tense. Great, I had scared the living crap out of her. I saw the inevitability of her jump of surprise, saw the pictures slipping through her hands, and I would have stopped them from falling, except her eyes met mine, and I felt like I'd been waiting to see them for years, instead of hours.

I gave her a crooked smile of apology, and without breaking eye contact, I knelt down to gather up the papers. She looked shocked to see me, and then, happy? A smile twitched across her face, before exploding into a beaming smile. Then, she blushed and seemed to doubt herself. I couldn't help but return her beaming smile, and she seemed to relax and smile again.

I tried to pick up the papers while smiling like a goof, but I was moving pretty slowly, absorbed by her joy at seeing me.

"Oh!" She said in her musical voice, fluttering her eyes. She looked down at the spilled pictures and bent to pick them up quickly. I thought maybe she was trying to kill me by being so adorable. It made my heart ache to look at her.

Our hands touched in her rush to pick up the pictures, and she gasped at the electricity that sparked. I pulled away immediately. If she tried to touch me again, she might realize my temperature was too low, though it might be worth it to get a better feel of her skin.

I squashed that thought immediately before I had to spend another day hiding erections in the bathroom.

These thoughts left other, less pleasant, realizations in their wake. I wasn't even the same species as her. I couldn't touch her, and the closer I got to her, the more I wanted. Staying away from her was only going to get harder.

My smile finally left my face. Now that my thoughts had darkened, I also remembered why I was late to work. She wasn't mine to covet.

She stood up, "Sorry! I didn't realize you were coming in today- I mean, I thought you would, but then you didn't, so..." She blushed furiously. I felt disappointment, nausea, and resentment take over my emotions. Instead of her beautiful blush causing me happiness, the thought that it belonged to someone else twisted my stomach. I had to turn away. Her doe eyes were hurting my chest.

Looking at the opposite wall, I said, "I'm glad you came in. We should get some work done before the party."

I didn't know how she looked when she said, "I'd be happy to help."

We sat semi-comfortably in silence. I assumed she was comfortable, while I was completely preoccupied. I kept trying to look at her without her noticing, stealing glances and hoarding memories of her I could call my own. If I did this shamefully and secretly, somehow it didn't make me quite so angry as the possessive admiration I'd felt earlier.

We ate thai food at my desk. I "sipped" a thai iced tea and poked my pad thai. She seemed to eat hungrily, which made me feel better, but there was one thing that was driving me batty.

"Do you mind if I check my phone? It's sort of a break, and I've been hearing it go off all day."

Ah, so she noticed it, too. "Not at all." Plenty of people were on their phones while they ate, or worked. As long as high quality work got done efficiently, the editors didn't care.

I stole more glances at her as she frowned at her phone. She huffed, clicked, rolled her eyes, clicked, sighed, clicked, furrowed her brow, clicked, and giggled, followed with an afterthought of a frown. With a long sigh, she put the phone away. I was ready to knaw off my hand in curiosity. I'd have walked over coals to be able to smell, hear, or pick from her brain whatever text messages she just read.

I was glaring at the phone like I could set it on fire. She hastened to put it away, "I'm sorry. I know that was unprofessional of me... I was just... worried about a friend."

"You seemed upset." I couldn't help myself; I had to pry.

She was hesitant to respond, not a good sign. "Someone I care about pissed me off yesterday. He's trying to make it better." Yes! And damn!

I couldn't stop myself, "Is he succeeding?"

She looked confused before answering, "I don't know. He can apologize all he wants, but it doesn't really change the fact that he'll probably do it again." She blushed, "Well, some of it."

Oh, come on! What did that mean? I couldn't think of a clever way to pry any further, so I buried myself in work. I tried and failed not to think the question over and over and over and over: "Could I make you happier?"

After working in silence for another hour or so, I started to suspect that I was shutting her out, and if anything, I wanted to encourage her. I asked about the work she was doing, and she surprised me by explaining her new line of inquiry. She was cross referencing missing persons with the profiles that fit the deaths, and coming up with new potential victims. It was brilliant work for a human, and I told her so. She lit up her smile for me, and I was back to my original goofy grin as I encouraged her work, and took delight in her growth and happiness. I felt like a plant that had lived my life in shade, and was finally experiencing the sun- like she was changing me on a molecular level with her happiness.

She sat there, glowing, and I continued to pretend to work while I basked in her glow. My doubts about being able to refrain from killing her almost started to seem melodramatic. Although her smell still made my mouth water and my knees weak, her smile seemed to counteract the hunger with pure joy.

It was a new feeling.

I can't believe I almost didn't come to work today. The idea seemed ridiculous when I looked at Bella, but when I looked away, the doubts started to creep in. It was during one of the doubtful times when I heard it. A tapping and scraping sound that seemed entirely out of place. It made my ears perk up, and in that state, I heard the phone.

It was Tanya? What the hell? Had I contacted her too? How many crazy women did I call last night, exactly? Also, what the fuck did I say?

I swallowed and answered, "Hello?"

"Look outside..." She purred in the most sensual way I could imagine. It made me swallow again with fear.

There she was, clinging to the side of the building, and when I looked out the window, she leaned over the glass wall and pointed a long manicured finger up.

Oh hell.

"Wow, I found this very interesting case about-" I jumped out of my skin at the sound of Bella's voice, "a girl..." She finished.

I felt caught between an angel and a devil, and if I didn't have superhuman speed and therefore superhuman capacity for thought and action, I might have just sat there drooling. Tanya was on the roof; but Bella's melodious voice was a siren's call, and I wanted more than anything to hear what she had to say.

"Sorry, I just got a weird text. What were you saying?"

"There's a case of a missing girl, a cheerleader, who went missing five years ago. They never found her exsanguinated or anything, but the three boys who she was last seen with..."

A roaring sound filled my ears. Not this. Don't stumble onto this. Don't put this together- don't even think about it!

"Turned up a few weeks later in the woods, mauled by animals, eaten by scavengers BUT," her flourish contained so much pride. I already felt my throat tightening and stomach twisting at the crushing blow I had to deal her.

"All three of their bodies were exsanguinated." Just the thought of their hot blood running down my chin desiccated my mouth. Bella's scent became burning torture again, until I saw the light leave her eyes.

"You've, uh, seen this case before?" Oh, good, Cullen, destroy her triumph. But I had to, I had to make sure she was discouraged from looking too closely at this one. I had to.

"Yeah," I sounded incredibly bored by her discovery. "Came across it years ago, looks interesting, but it's a huge waste of time. Nothing pans out; keep looking elsewhere." God, I wanted to tell her it was a good find, something to keep her shoulders from hunching like that, but I couldn't. The temptation to comfort her was like a physical force pushing against my common sense. My pocket buzzed. The thought of Tanya was the cold shower I needed to tear myself away from Bella.

"I, um, I have to take this call in private. Keep looking, okay?" Stay down here, stay away from me, stop getting hurt.

Could I make you happier? What about all my other obligations?

I purposefully didn't look at her as I headed towards and up the stairs.

"Tanya...?" I peered around the troughs of bushes and trees. She was playing with me... Great.

When one of us wants to disappear, all we have to do is stay very still. We are the arsenic of living beings, with barely a heartbeat, barely any body warmth, and the ability to remain stone still, we are imperceptible and untraceable poison to our prey.

Except, of course, that Bella doesn't seem to have a hard time sniffing you out.

Shut up, me.

I sniffed the air. Tanya had been still for a while, but she had traveled far, and there was quite the breeze at the top of this skyscraper. Would she try to stay downwind? Where were her thoughts?

I opened myself up to the flood of mental images and desires and listened for Tanya. There she was, giggling.

She had hidden, so to speak, in plain sight. She was in one of the wooden lounge chairs facing the view off the building. I walked over to her. "Tanya, how are you?"

Her mental response was... sexually expectant. "Not as good as I hope to be." Limbs tangled, cool breaths, sounds of pleasure, and tugs on hair all flashed through my head. I tried not to look as repulsed as I felt.

"About last night..." disappointment from her, doubt, and determination. "I don't really remember..."

"Oh, you were... forward. It was very unlike you, pleasantly so." I gulped and relived the blur of her memory- her surprise, her realization that I was somehow intoxicated, her brief seduction of me, my cavalier response. Thank god we stopped short of some kind of... ugh, phone sex.

"I don't remember trying to seduce you..."

"Well you don't remember anything, ah, but that is moot now isn't it?" She stood, and easily matched my height. Her Valkyrie looks would have been so beautiful as to be intimidating to any man attracted to her. Fortunately, I was not.

Or was it fortunate? A small voice piped. I became more confused and frustrated. Sure, part of me wished I could be attracted to Tanya- to someone with whom a coupling would be natural, easy, and uncomplicated. I hesitated, clearing my throat, "So, why are you here?"

She sensed my weakness and closed the distance between us. She smelled amazing! Like rain and chocolate and iron. "You asked me here. You said you wanted to 'try again'."

"You wore blood?" She looked smug at how unnerving this was to me. "Where did you-"

"Please, dear, don't be insulting. Snatched it from a blood bank on the way. This is all that blood is good for anyway, but it gets the job done." Her hand snaked up to my shoulder and buried it my hair. She pulled me closer to her, to the dabs of blood behind her ears that I couldn't stop thinking about.

A ripple of revulsion almost made me shiver away. Why was I so hot and cold? I did ask her here, asked her to seduce me, so why wasn't I giving in to her gentle tug? Why did it disgust me?

Is this what people do? Is this how they feel? Is this how she feels? Is this what they do? And it clicked, everything Tanya imagined, anything she attempted with me, I was imagining as something that Bella might have... already... My stomach turned, but I knew now that it was not Tanya's fault. I relaxed into her grip, and gave her control.

Make it stop. Show me what it's like for her. "Show me." I whispered.

Her lips closed around mine. I could see in her mind that she was going to take it slow with me, that she didn't want to scare me away. The kiss was light, gentle, seeking a rhythm, and learning the shape and musculature of my own.

It was pleasant. Was this what she felt with him? My stomach knotted in jealousy, and dropped in terror. Could I make her happy? Could I do this? I tried to respond, opening my lips slightly, mimicking her.

She growled, spun me, and sat me on the chair, then she pressed against me and kissed harder.

Where do I put my hands?! Her thoughts supplied me many suggestions and desires, but how could I put them somewhere relatively neutral? Not... there, and DEFINITELY not there. I laid them softly on her back, not brushing anything erogenous.

She growled again in frustration and pushed her body closer. We were still kissing with slightly open lips. I felt her tongue brush my bottom lip, and then she bit down. It didn't hurt me, but it didn't really arouse me either. I was still feeling sick with jealousy. Did Bella do this? Did Bella like this? Maybe I couldn't make her happy.

Tanya pulled away, sighing in frustration. She searched my eyes, thinking, are you trying or not? I felt an extra stab of guilt that I was doing this to her, but she knew what I was, and how convinced I was that this was not going to work.

I tried to find an excuse that would make her feel better, "it's just, this is where I work..." I saw how unconvincing this was through her eyes. I wasn't even looking at her.

She sighed again, licked a finger, dipped behind her ear, and the smell of blood quadrupled. Both of our pupils dilated in response. While locking eyes, she twirled her finger on the tip of her tongue, her eyes becoming almost black. Hr breathing sped, and I could smell the mix of blood and her as our faces neared. My fangs descended just as our lips connected, and she forced mine apart, plunging the tip of her tongue to meet with mine.

We are similar to sharks in that even a mere smudge of blood on the tip of the tongue can drive us into a gluttonous lust for blood. I sucked on her tongue, she sucked on mine, and I began for feel the need... The pleasure... The desire I associated only with Bella. This felt better, the hunger, the pain, the need, the desire in a blinding, overwhelming physical experience. Maybe I could do this. It might be possible.

I allowed my hand to grip Tanya's waist, and I could feel the warmth of her arousal. Mentally, the ache of her hunger added to mine. I nuzzled her when our lips finally separated, the blood's taste fading, and I locked onto her neck, lapping at her skin, and teasing my way to the other blood stain. She focused exclusively on the primal anticipation, and her need finally stirred my arousal as well.

I reached the blood, licking it into a concentrated dose on my tongue. It was hard not to swallow, I almost had to bite down, but Tanya grabbed my face and attacked my mouth with a purpose, grinding our arousals together. We devoured each others mouths, and she made a moan of pleasure.

Finally, this reminded me of Bella, but not in a way that stirred my jealousy. What if I could do this for Bella? Make her moan with pleasure, smell her perfumed blood through her pale soft skin as I...

I could almost smell Bella as I fantasized. I let my hand smooth down to Tanya's rear, grinding her against my now much harder erection. She gasped as I massaged one breast and licked the other diluted patch of blood. We shared the frustratingly faded taste together, and sought for more satisfaction in each other's bodies.

I couldn't reach enough. In a lightning fast motion, I flipped Tanya, whose mind reverberated pleasure in my desire to take over. I tried to block her out. Her thoughts would ruin the fantasy- I couldn't hear Bella's thoughts, and I had heard enough of Tanya's desire to know where to touch her next.

One hand was gripping Tanya's hair while the other one fumbled at her button when my bloodstained thoughts registered human breath.

"...Edward?" Shit, fuck, no. No, no, no. Why hadn't I heard her coming? Because, you idiot, you can't fucking hear her thoughts!

Her feet had stopped, and I heard a sharp gasp.

I didn't want to separate from Tanya simply because I didn't want to face Bella. I heard her step back though, and my shame lost a battle with my curiosity. I couldn't not know how she looked at this moment.

I dropped everything Tanya and stood straight up. Bella's eyes were wide and devastated. I wasn't expecting the depth of hurt and shock I met when I looked into them. She didn't need to cry to show that I had destroyed some beautiful, pure hope she once had. I might have killed her favorite puppy for such a look.

My heart, lungs and stomach discovered a new degree of writhing despair at that look. I wanted to disappear from her sight to spare her the pain of looking at me.

"I just, uh... Sorry. Sorry! I uh, found more info, and you hadn't gotten back... So... So sorry!" She started backing away, bumping into plant trenches. I became painfully aware of her physical frailty, and took a step towards her. Her eyes widened impossibly more, and she held up her hands to ward me off.

"No, no! So sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt, really. I thought... Well, sorry. I'll go back and you, uh, you know. Sorry!" She turned and fled.

My heart was pumping sand...

A/N:

"Geez louise, Ed! How many elephants you want to put to sleep there?"

For many reasons- most of all how closely this follows the original events of Twilight and how unsatisfied I am with doing that at this point, I have decided to change this fic pretty drastically. If I start a new fic and it is too similar to this one, I could be banned from ff, or have my account deleted _

I have decided to post the last three chapters I have written of this fic (this one, 13, and 14) and I will be restarting this fic with major edits under the title:

Mask of Night

This will have some large cuts, especially to the beginning, and although I will be keeping the sort of superhero semi-crossover element, the new fic contains many more original ideas than this one. It is similar enough, however, that I have already been able to cut and paste parts of this fic into the new one when appropriate.

Depending on how different the two fics turn out, I may not have to delete this fic, but I'm planning, by the time I post 14, to know whether or not I am deleting Heroes: A Superfic.

I will keep you, my beloved readers, informed as I post.

Thank you so much for reading and for favoriting, following, and reviewing this fic.