The Messiness of Life
By Victoria G.

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters in this story. Occasional dialogue incorporated from english sub of Mai HiME/Otome, Drama CDs, or Natsuki No Prelude all of which do not belong to me.

Narrative #14: An Ending
Date: December 20, 2013 ... a Friday

Unsure what had woken me, I blinked my eyes while pulling in a breath through my nose. There was a rare mellowness filling me and I nestled against my pillow, intending to enjoy it to its fullest.

"Hey."

"Good morning." My voice was slightly hoarse and I let my eyes stay closed, running a hand over my face delicately. The morning was my least favorite part of the day, though I had long ago accepted that rolling out of bed at nine or ten each morning was a social impossibility. I was rather pleased that my new position allowed for consistent weekends off. Sleep was such a wonderful, peaceful thing… it always seemed a shame to end it so abruptly, especially the deep sort of sleep I tended to fall into after the activities I had been engaged in.

"It's not morning yet." There was a hint of amusement in her tone.

That was good news…it would mean I had a bit more rest in my future. "No? What time is it?"

"Around one." I could feel her eyes on me, so I glanced over in her direction. She appeared playfully annoyed. "It's ridiculous."

I attempted to clear my sleep-fogged mind. "What is it Yohko finds ridiculous?"

"Do you even exercise?" I followed her eyes down to my abdomen, the sheets having fallen to my waist. Tangled sheets were not too uncommon in my bedroom… I was a bit of a restless sleeper. Honestly, the idea of sweating in front of someone else who would also be sweating was unattractive to me in all but one very particular circumstance. Exercising was neither something I talked about nor did in the company of others.

Still, it was a perfect lead-in…"We did just a few hours ago, did we not?" I gave her a lazy smile, while she shook her head. I could not imagine that something as silly as the flatness of my stomach was driving her to insomnia. "Is there something keeping Yohko awake?" I asked quietly, reaching over to touch her leg. She felt tense, which was incredibly unusual for her… almost as unusual as her being awake at one in the morning. So little seemed to ever trouble her.

She shrugged, leaning her head back against the wall, pulling the sheet up to cover her chest…a shame really. What she had to be self-conscious about I could not guess… she was wonderfully attractive. "Shizuru..."

"Hmm?" I turned onto my stomach, gazing at her, the apprehension in her tone catching my attention.

She was looking at me rather intently. "I don't think we should do this anymore."

I was quite surprised, so much so that I did not know what to say in response. Even stranger, a small amount of hurt pricked at me, so I attempted to make light of it. I crossed my arms and rested my chin on them, smiling. "Yohko is not falling in love with me, is she?"

She laughed, but there was still nervousness. "I know better." She dropped her eyes to the white expanse of linen between us. I could tell it was an awkward conversation for her, one she'd rather not be having… it was not a conversation I wished to be having either. I replayed the events of tonight trying to understand. I could not find a single thing that had changed, my mind racing around for a clue and coming up empty. "I don't know if this is good for you…"

"Do you not think I enjoyed myself?" My levity required effort.

"Not what I meant. I think both of your neighbors are well aware you enjoyed yourself."

I pouted at her. "I believe you hold most of the responsibility in that."

"Shizuru, I'm being serious. I think whatever is going on with you and Kuga-san…"

That was the issue? I stopped her. "What would make you think there is anything going on?" There really was nothing, unless something completely one-sided could be considered important… and why would she choose to bring this up now? Why after we'd slept together? She could have just as easily not initiated this. I was not angry, but I was certainly perplexed by her choice of timing.

Concern filled eyes regarded me steadily. "Shizuru…" My playfully questioning look was met with a worried sigh. "You were dreaming about her." I was momentarily leveled by embarrassment. There was no use saying anything witty in response because my cheeks were warming… giving me away. Occasionally I spoke in my sleep, I'd been told so before and each time the idea was equally discomforting. "There is something going on. Maybe nothing comes of it, but…"

I closed my eyes and collected myself, my tone purposefully light. "If nothing is to come of it, that would make it irrelevant, would it not?"

"No." The woman corrected. She did not seem disturbed or jealous, which I would not have expected from her anyway… but she did seem worried. "It's definitely relevant."

I really did not wish to talk about this, so I made an attempt to end the conversation by utilizing a new tactic, straddling her with slow, deliberate movements. "Yohko is truly a woman of principle." I cupped her cheek, infusing as much sincerity into my voice as I could.

She rolled her eyes at me and smirked. Always so immune to my attempts at seduction, yet so clearly attracted to me physically… an unusual combination. "I might be the only one." She accused gently, a tiny puff of air escaping. I slid my hands over her ribs. "Are you even listening to me, Shizuru?"

"It was just a silly dream." A dream I remembered nothing of and really did not want to talk about… so I nuzzled against her neck in a way I knew she found pleasurable. The splendid little cloud of relaxation I'd been caught in when I woke, was very quickly dissipating.

"I don't want to take advantage of the situation or you." She spoke as if there weren't a naked woman breathing on her neck.

"I was under the impression Yohko liked taking advantage of me," I whispered close to her ear, a comment that she tried to ignore.

"I also don't want this to become anything other than the two of us having fun."

I felt my eyebrow lift and nibbled at her ear. My method of distraction did not seem to be overly effective, but it was sufficiently enjoyable on my end. I made a go at picking the meaning from her last statement. "Do you think that I would imagine you to be someone else? I would not."

"You called me Natsuki." I nipped at her and she yelped. That was not very nice.

"I did no such thing," I whispered to the smarting skin of her neck. It was one of the few times I'd been distracted enough not to think of Natsuki. I'd not had any thoughts outside of what was happening at the moment. It was one of many things I found enjoyable about sex.

"I don't want you to either." I very suddenly found my hands pinned to my side. "You are not making this conversation very easy." She was looking up at me, her tone dry, her face irritated and more attractive for it.

"Kanin-na." I said innocently.

She clearly did not consider my apology genuine, which was fair, and her eyes were already drifting along my skin. My heart sped. "It isn't a question of me wanting you because I do." She was studying me in the way she tended to before she proceeded to mercilessly strip away nearly all the composure I possessed.

I shored up my defenses to hide how much that particular facial expression impacted me. It was difficult when I knew exactly what she was capable of. Another attempt to avoid the conversation, though I'd had no success thus far. "Perhaps then Yohko would be willing to let my hands go so that I could apologize properly."

"Shizuru…" She was warning me in the gentle way she always did, yet already her body was closer. When she realized, she backed away a little. "I really don't think this is a good idea." She said and then shakily, she let me go. "It feels wrong."

I turned my head away, strongly disliking that she had chosen to use that particular word. I suppose if she thought it was the truth then it was appropriate of her.

Some bit of understanding flashed in her eyes. "Not us. Like I'm doing something wrong, personally. I don't know what is going on with Kuga-san and you, but I don't want any part in ruining it." She looked at me meaningfully. "I know you don't like talking, but I'm pretty sure you have feelings for her."

I laughed softly, eyes closed, almost a giggle… as if it were absurd because my heart shrank. "Yohko has become such a hopeless romantic." Feelings for her…had I let myself slip that badly? If anyone was capable of dragging such emotion from me it was Natsuki… but I did not want it to be true. It would be too problematic. Attraction was one thing, feelings were quite another.

"I could say the same thing about you." She answered with the confident smile she always responded to my teasing with. "You're my friend, Shizuru. I just want you to be happy, and if this even has a chance of getting in the way of that, I shouldn't be doing it." She stared at me, appearing rather remorseful. "No matter how gorgeous you are or how much I love sleeping with you." She paused, considering her words and her eyelid fluttered, mouth slipping into a frown. "God, that came out terrible."

I was watching her in disbelief. It was touching, strangely one of the sweetest things anyone had ever said to me despite the phrasing. I suppose I needed to accept her concerns because I did not wish for things to turn sour between us ever. Unable to resist, I leaned down and kissed her gently on the lips, not too deeply. "Ookini. For being so sweet."

"You thought that was sweet?" She laughed incredulously.

"I did." At my bright smile, she shook her head at me in shock. Each time we were together, I had never been certain it would happen again. It was not as if this had happened all that often, but nonetheless, I was nervous about losing it… unhappy even. Thankfully, I was able to keep it hidden. The loss was not her fault…apparently it was mine. I climbed off her, sitting against the headboard beside her, my thoughts swirling.

Feelings for Natsuki… I wanted Yohko to be wrong for many reasons, paramount of which was my fear that I was incapable of loving someone in a way that was healthy for either person involved. Loving someone… at the mention of feelings, my mind immediately leaped far ahead of where it should have landed. I did not want to risk attempting such a thing. Irrespective of my concerns over myself, all signs seemed to indicate that Kuga Natsuki was uninterested in women and potentially involved with that gentleman… regardless of whatever Yohko saw floating in the air between us. My feelings, besides being dangerous, would quite possibly be completely unwelcome, upsetting to her in the worst of cases. All of this would mean that if I was indeed developing feelings for her, they would need to be held under tight reins and that was sure to be unpleasant. I did not want it and knew I would not be particularly proficient at it either given how difficult I was finding it to contain my attraction to her.

"Are we okay?"

I glanced over at her, my hand in my hair, pushing a smile. "Of course."

She was watching me very intently, too intently… "Are you sure?"

I nodded, looking toward my feet. "I am certain." I knew that if I smiled again it would concern her further. I was not upset with her… her reasons were too considerate, she was too considerate and our relations had never involved emotion. Our friendship was much more affectionate than the sex we had ever was. Not that I minded that in the least...

"Good." She seemed relieved, her eyes and smile both… but it did not last. "Maybe I should leave…"

That was totally unnecessary. "Do not be silly." She studied me again and then nodded.

It was never meant to be love, neither of us held any such illusions. It was never meant to be a realization of my secret impossible hopes. Still, I would miss what I had found in this, outside of the friendship. Not just an excellent lover, though she was, but someone who I wanted and wanted me openly in return… no adoration, no desire for anything other than a delicious night, no strings attached. It was something that did not feel terribly wrong afterward… someone I'd never hurt… and her touch, us together had comforted and relaxed me. I could wake up next to her assured that she would not regret, not question, that her face would never say this was a mistake or that she was ashamed of what we'd done, ashamed of having touched me, or of allowing my touch. Somehow, her lack of guilt in all this made me feel less like a flawed person, more like the things that I wanted and who I allowed myself to be were not completely disgraceful. I understood that this was the only type of relationship I could safely allow myself… more than likely it was the only type that I belonged in… but these were not things I could say to Yohko. I was painfully aware of the fact that what we had was rare in its lack of complications… that the combination of the two of us, our respective capacities for unattached passion, were the only thing that made this work.

I felt the heat on my chest again as my thoughts continued to wander. If my dreams were going to ruin something like this, the least they could do is let me remember them. It was all I would ever know of being with Natsuki in that way. Sadly, it was not unusual for me… I had never remembered my dreams, not even as a child, which perhaps was what made my sleep talking so unsettling for me... that whomever I was with could know more of what my mind imagined in the night than I did. In truth, I was not sure I even wanted to know what I'd said. The embarrassment was still clinging to my insides, so I did not ask. The profundity of it decided for me that I needed a trip to the washroom... a splash of water on my face perhaps... a moment.

As I slid my legs over the side of the bed, I heard her voice from behind me. "Shizuru…"

"Hmm?" I was almost frightened to imagine what would come next.

"What's with the arsenal in your living room? Stockpiling for the apocalypse or something?"

The question was unexpected and absolutely terrifying to me... but, perhaps it was time I told someone. I saw no other way to explain the boxes of guns and swords and other assorted weapons short of pretending to be some sort of survivalist, which would not be particularly believable. Again I'd been caught with my guard down. I should have hidden those items before she came. My thoughts forcing themselves to the surface was a physical sensation, uncomfortable and disconcerting. They pressed against my chest… like reaching the limit of your strength before the seal gives, a pressure felt down to the bone. When they finally came, the words popped up like the lid of a new jar. "My father passed away. He was a collector of antique weaponry and left them to me." I could not drop my smile when I spoke… it must have been such a strange contrast.

"God...I'm sorry, I had no idea." She slipped a hand over mine. It was soothing enough that I felt compelled to pull away. A gentle squeeze first, but I had to retreat before I allowed myself something unforgivably weak, like crawling into her arms. I still could not think of him being gone… not without that ache that felt like sickness.

"I do not have the slightest idea what it is I will do with them, let alone the car he left to me." Those boxes… I had not been able to get through any of them, even months later…I needed them gone.

She gave another look of pure shock. "He left you a car too?"

"He did, one far too expensive and an Italian espresso machine."

"Huh." She said with a puzzled expression on her face.

"That is very much how I felt."

Brown hair fell in front of her eyes. "Do you like cars?"

"Not beyond their usefulness and certainly not enough to have more than one. I am finding two to be rather excessive, as you might imagine."

She smiled at me gently. "What kind of car is it?"

I only remembered the name because of Alyssa. "An Aston Martin. I was told it is a Vanquish if that means anything to you."

Her surprised facial expression indicated she knew it… she had a rather sporty car herself. "It rings a bell. Are you going to sell it?"

"I have not decided."

"I'm sorry. My mind is way too practical, that was an awful question."

I corrected her. "No, it was something I had considered. I have also considered donating the weapons to a museum."

"You know.. Midori works with a couple of curators over at the history museum..."

"Does she?"

"Let me know if you want me to ask her about it."

"I will." I looked down at my pillow, missing its comfort, when I felt two strong arms wrap around me, pulling me into a warm, still very naked embrace. I did not expect it, or the way my own body seemed to melt as if it had been waiting for this. It was too soothing, her arms…the feeling that someone was willing to take care of me, it made me want to disappear. If this was its reaction to a close friend, what would my body do if Natsuki ever touched me? It was frightening to imagine. Honest touch without any sexual undertone, it found the loneliness in me, spoke to it directly and I was desperate to hide it away again.

"Shizuru, I really am sorry about your father."

"Ookini," I answered, hoping she missed the slight quiver in my voice.

When she pulled back a bit to speak, I could see in her face that there was something worrying her. "Listen, if you need anything…" I swallowed against the force of the emotions straining my chest, forcing them back down as hard as I could. Why was it these people who knew me could see into me without my permission? Reito, Yohko, Chie, even Haruka to some extent... and of course Natsuki, albeit for an entirely different reason, were all able to get inside me to varying degrees.

I gave a smile, keeping my eyes closed. "Yohko really is too kind."

Digression #14: Sanada Yukariko
Date: September 9th, 2013 … a Monday

Sanada Yukariko had been a novelty among the other children in the convent's orphanage. It began when one of the older priests showed her his wooden chess set. He taught her the game and the patterned board, the alternating squares, the strategy, the beauty of it captured her. The other children had come to watch her play, to challenge her, surprised that such a mild-mannered, soft-spoken, congenial child could dispatch her opponents so efficiently. When the old priest died, she had been heartbroken, even more so when his belongings were removed, the chess set among them. The only piece left, forgotten on the floor by his desk, having fallen when the board was carried away, was the white knight. She'd scraped it up, felt guilty knowing she was taking it without permission, but justifying the action by telling herself she was saving it from the rubbish pile. It sat by her bed still, and every now and then she would hold the piece in her hand in the delicate way he had shown her, two fingers hovering with no telling direction while she considered a move on an imagined board. When she turned it in her grip, she would run her thumb across its base where the maker's mark was worn smooth, but the carved relief of the town from which it came… Sveti Vlas was still palpable. It was a town on the coast of the Black Sea named for a famous healer, Saint Vlas, who like many martyrs had suffered torture and persecution for his beliefs. The priest had told her that it was made by a friend of his in one of several monasteries in that region of Bulgaria. Father Greer had studied there when he was a young man.

She grew up in a building run by the convent adjacent to the old Fuuka Hospital, was barely past girlhood when First District Healthcare bought up the property and transformed it into what it was today. She had been quite happy to work in the new hospital's chapel. The work was rewarding, bringing comfort to patients on the edge of death, reminding them that there was something bigger, something waiting for them, someone watching over them. Her work meant a great deal to her. She liked speaking with the family members who came to the chapel in times of need, looking to God, toward the gentle light of his love. Though painful, it was a glorious thing to see, their faces in fervent prayer, hearts seeking, straining toward the divine, held in the cradling embrace of true, honest faith. Then there were those who wanted to believe… who came because they were trying to find a piece of themselves that was missing. Sister Yukariko loved these people too, the lost children of God who cried for their own hollowness, for the sensation of not belonging anywhere, losing touch, alone and unable to believe. She even enjoyed soothing those who were angry with God for taking someone away, for bringing sickness. She understood that they came to the chapel because they still loved God in spite of their hurt and together they could grow from that. Sister Yukariko viewed part of her mission as a good Christian to guide them all back to the sweet love of Jesus Christ, to give them even a glimpse of the truth of his compassion, his devotion to them. God had given her a test though, a test in the form of a thin redheaded woman who was all blasphemy and unrepentant sin.

It had started with confessions too horrifying, too flagrantly devilish for her to sit through. Weeks of this torture had brought her to seek the council of the priest who she worked with. He'd enlightened her as to the divine intent behind the woman's appearance… a trial by fire, a test of faith. So she sat and listened to the nauseating tales of lust and promiscuity and debasement, waiting for a sign. She'd learned, by seeing the girl on one of the floors while visiting another patient, that her mother was dying. God had shown her that this child was nothing but a lost lamb and she promised herself she'd guide her back to the loving arms of the lord. This was easier said than done. The girl was incredibly resilient in her denial of God, in her dedication to questioning even the most basic tenants of her religious convictions. Eventually, Sister Yukariko had allowed despondency to creep into their interactions and that troubled her. It just wasn't in her soul to believe the girl was beyond saving.

She had wondered for a moment if the person who entered the chapel a few minutes ago was that Spine surgeon. He kept appearing in the chapel with no purpose other than to speak with her. When she emerged into the main area, it was not him she saw… it was the lamb in lion's clothing. Tonight she was sitting in a pew with her legs crossed, swinging her foot and reading what looked to be a novel. A glance at the title…"The Story of O"… she wasn't familiar with it. "Yuuki-san." The nun greeted, taking a graceful seat beside the girl.

A Cheshire cat grin took her lips and she crossed her arms behind her head. "Sister. Happy to see me?"

Sister Yukariko did not smile because that smirk was worrisome… she knew what tended to follow. "Is it to be confession tonight?"

"You sound thrilled."

Wary, she responded truthfully. "It frightens me to imagine what you'll say."

The grin widened. "That's not very nun-like."

"How is your mother doing? I prayed with her yesterday." Sister Yukariko had been visiting the girl's mother ever since she'd seen them together.

Eyes and mouth fell flat. "Same as ever, almost dead."

The woman shook her head, saddened. "Yuuki-san, why do you say things like that? I know that you care about your mother very deeply."

Those dangerous looking eyes closed. "The truth is the truth."

"You wear a cross… but you're so resistant to opening your heart. If you could, God would help you through this."

She scoffed. "God can't help me through this."

"He can if you believe." Hands were folded against her habit.

The redheaded girl took a deep breath, pushing it through her nose and picking at painted nails. "If God hands out cures he's sure taking his sweet time, isn't he? When he finally gets to her, there'll be nothing worth saving left."

Soft blue eyes watched the person beside her, all heart and empathy. "God does not take away our suffering. He helps us to understand it and heals us through his love."

Yuuki Nao was completely unaffected and shrugged. "So you suffer if you do, and you suffer if you don't. Understanding it doesn't change a thing, does it, Sister? No point."

The nun was baffled and thrown by the response. "Why come here if you don't believe there's a point? I know that you pray when you think I'm not looking."

Another shrug. "Can't hurt, right?"

"But you must believe there is a point, otherwise you wouldn't come here."

Silence greeted her and the gentler woman realized, with a bit of wonder, that her statement had made some sort of an impact. It was another minute before the girl spoke. "She believes."

"Your mother does?"

"Yes. She believes in it... this is her cross." She lifted the necklace she wore all the time, dangling the charm like a golden bell before dropping it. "If she believes, he should help her if I ask for her… she can't. Isn't he supposed to be merciful and loving?" It was a challenge and Sister Yukariko knew the lord didn't work in challenges. This was a self-fulfilling prophecy common among non-believers. She had encountered it many times before. Ask for something impossible, expect a miracle, and use the resulting celestial silence to back the doubt already in their hearts and minds.

"You never believed?"

Her jaw shifted. Clearly, the question affected her. "Only when I didn't know any better."

She did not respond to the taunt. "Do you truly not feel it?"

An eyebrow rose at her. "What?"

The nun closed her eyes, breathing in the love she could feel from her savior before she turned her gentle gaze on the girl. "Loneliness Yuuki-san. That space inside us that comes from denying God, from denying the connection we all share, the compassion our Lord placed in each of our hearts. It becomes an emptiness that feels like separateness... it's only his absence."

She saw the words sink into those eyes before they hardened again. "I don't feel like that."

Hands were taken into her own. "All lost souls do because we all want to believe in something, we all need to believe. We are all his children. The loneliness is your heart aching for the heavenly father's love."

She looked away, breath unsteady, drawing her hands back quickly. "Nothing aches." Sister Yukariko was certain in that moment, she'd been speaking to the lamb buried deep within the girl.

"You're not alone. He loves you already Yuuki-san, you've just forgotten how to feel it."

The lamb was quickly retreating. "Look, I'm not lost. I don't need any guiding light or God or whatever. Save it. How about he gives some of that compassion to her?"

"She doesn't need it. Your mother has everything she needs because you already take such excellent care of her, you already love her so much." Their eyes met, distrust and almost hidden pain filling one set while the other was serene. She handed the young woman a string of rosary beads. "Please take these, they were my first set. If she believes, having them nearby may bring her some comfort." The girl reached out a hand that trembled slightly before closing around the sacrosanct object. "I'll continue to pray for her."

"Good night sister."

"Good night." She looked into the young woman's eyes, conveying as much of the empathy and love she felt for her as she could and the girl backed away from it as if spooked. "Oh! Yuuki-san, don't forget your book!"

She gave a worrisome smirk and even more concerning wink… the lion had returned. "It's a trade. You might like it." With that, she was gone and Sister Yukariko stared down at the novel in her lap, an ominous feeling coming over her as she curiously opened to the first page.

Aside #14: Two Guys at a Bar (Conversation)

"Tell me Yohko…" Reito was sitting at the bar beside her, swirling his second bourbon. "What do you think is going on with Shizuru?"

She smirked, cradling her third gin and tonic. "You mean the thing with Kuga-san?"

"That is one of the things, yes."

"I don't know. My opinion is there's something there on both ends. Did Kuga-san say something?"

"It may shock you to learn she doesn't confide in me concerning her personal life." There was a smile in his eyes. "Still it's rather obvious, those two."

"I was wondering whether you noticed Kanzaki."

"She is different around Shizuru certainly. I wasn't convinced my fellow possessed the capacity to speak in entire sentences before our friend came along."

The nurse shrugged. "She says what she needs to. She's not a talker though."

He shrugged. "Nonetheless, I can certainly understand her interest. Kuga-san is a beautiful woman."

A laugh tumbled from Yohko as a memory hit her. "She came charging into the locker room in a full leather riding suit one night, and I mean skin tight. I thought Shizuru was gonna have a nosebleed."

Reito paused, staring at the counter. "I can imagine."

The nurse realized the alcohol was making her more forward than she would normally be, but the man beside her was used to that. It produced similar effects on him.

Her thoughts then traveled to another, more recent memory that kept popping into her head… of a dreaming Shizuru waking her with a murmured name and a bit of Kyoto-ben. It was... absolutely precious… but the second utterance of that name, there was something about it, the softness there. The emotion buried within worried Yohko because as logical as she was by nature, she did think there was some truth in dreams. It was that bit of potential truth that led her to break off something she really enjoyed.

In reality, despite its impact, the name was not the part that kept coming back to her. It was what immediately followed because things had quickly turned from precious into something she felt very guilty watching. She'd kicked the bed frame lightly and then pretended as though she wasn't totally flustered while Shizuru did nothing to help her. How much of the dream did the other woman remember? She had hardly reacted at all on waking, but with Shizuru that didn't necessarily mean anything. It made her wonder what must have been going on in that woman's head...made her think about it more than she would've liked. "It's kind of sexy actually."

"Kuga-san?"

"The two of them." She corrected and he nodded. Indeed…it was very 'sexy', the two of them.

The surgeon and the nurse drank together with some frequency and it seemed they always gravitated toward a particular topic. The conversation seemed to have arrived there early on this night. "Perhaps you can convince her to join you and Shizuru."

She gave him an admonishing look that was mostly bluff. "What kind of woman do you take me for?"

"No?"

"Besides the fact that Kuga-san would never do it, I wouldn't feel right about it. I think there's something there."

"If two absolutely beautiful women offered themselves to me, I must admit, I would not give much consideration to the hidden feelings they may or may not be harboring." He commented with a grin.

"No one offered anything and you're terrible."

"I am but a mortal man."

She lifted an eyebrow. "What about that girl you've been seeing?"

"An excellent point." He raised his glass in concession. "Three beautiful women then."

She laughed, rolling her eyes. "That's your version of morality? Bring her with?"

"Beauty is beauty and the beauty of fantasy is that morality is a non-issue."

A wry look was thrown his way. "How'd we go from talking about Shizuru and Kuga-san to a foursome fantasy?"

"Were you hoping to make it a fivesome?"

She smirked, playing along with a joke that had already gone off the rails a bit. "You may have been, but I think after three it's just all out debauchery."

He chuckled. "Too Roman for your tastes?"

"Best not to mix work and pleasure, especially in large groups."

"Have you and Shizuru stopped then?" She lifted her eyebrow at him, holding her drink by the tips of her fingers, but her slight frown answered the question. "I doubt you'll have any difficulty finding yourself another willing participant."

She glanced down at the bar top. "I do fine."

"Ah, the young man from housekeeping next, is it?" He would prefer she find another female playmate but knew that was unlikely.

"He's not that young."

"Shizuru is significantly more attractive." He commented. "And you're right. It's quite possible he's already graduated high school."

"You're not cute Kanzaki." She responded sending him a playfully reprimanding glare. "I knew you'd think she was a better choice, and for the record, I agree with you, Shizuru's better looking."

"It is a much better mental image as well."

She released a heavy sigh, shaking her head. "Why do we always end up talking about sex?"

Reito chuckled. "Some sort of latent, unspoken yearnings perhaps?"

She scoffed, smiling crookedly at him. "We talk like two guys at a bar because we secretly wanna sleep together? I'd rethink that."

He nodded. "A fair point."

"It's the woman who runs that little shop that you've been seeing, right?"

"Yes."

"She's pretty. So, is it going well?"

"It's going surprisingly well. Though it's early, she does seem to be exactly who I thought she was. A rarity, in my experience." He stared at the mirror behind the bar as if trying to understand his own words, smiling to himself before turning to face Yohko. "It does surprise me you think Kuga-san wouldn't participate in that sort of activity."

A raised eyebrow. "Why?"

"Because she seems emotionally distant and somewhat deviant."

She laughed. "She's not emotionally distant. I can't picture her ever letting anyone who she didn't care about close enough for that. She's an attach-er."

An intrigued expression crossed his face. "An interesting theory. What makes you believe that?"

"It took two months before Kuga-san and I had an actual social conversation, you still haven't had one with her."

A slight nod. "This is true."

"Emotionally distant is different than wounded defensive. Kuga-san is wounded defensive. I don't think she would ever consider being with someone unless she was already attached."

He spared a glance at her. "Are these categories your own invention?"

"They work."

"Under which category do you file Shizuru then?"

"She's got her own."

A knowing smile. "A wise choice."

"Gonna tell me why you're so concerned about all of this?"

"I would not say that I'm concerned about it, Yohko."

She jetted air through her nose, glancing over at him. "So what would you say?"

He took a deep breath in, his mouth settling into a frown that seemed out of place on him… he tapped at his glass. "I'm worried about Shizuru, I suppose. She has not seemed herself lately."

"You don't have to pretend you don't know."

He watched the woman beside him. "I'm not sure what you mean."

"You know exactly what I mean. She told me about her father, so stop. You should've told me so we could have sent a sympathy card or flowers or something." An irritated frown was shot his way.

He placed his drink down, resting a hand over his mouth, staring at the woman beside him. "Shizuru's father passed away?"

"You knew that."

"I did not."

She stared back at him for a moment. "…you didn't?"

The tight-lipped look of concentrated worry on his face rendered him unrecognizable. "She said nothing to me."

"Huh." The two of them sat silently beside one another, lost in their thoughts, further concerned by the revelation, sipping their drinks in perfect synchronization.