Melissa looked silently at her uncle. She and Steven sat next to one another at Mr. and Mrs. Forman's kitchen table. For the last five minutes, since Kitty had broken the news to Bob, he hadn't said a word. He just kept staring at her, his face a bright shade of red, and he huffing like some sort of wild bore. Melissa cast a confused glance at Red and Kitty. They seemed just as baffled as she was.

"Bob," Kitty laughed slightly. "I think your taking this rather well, but you just found out that your sixteen-year-old niece is having a baby. Don't you think you should at say something, anything to her?"

"Hell, Kitty," Red replied. "He's probably still in shock from you running across his yard, carrying a bowl of peas, yelling, 'She's pregnant!' at the top of your lungs."

"I don't understand how this could happen," Bob said after a moment.

"You see, Bob," Steven explained. "When a girl believes that a boy loves her, said girl tends to do stupid things for said boy. In this case, the 'stupid things' involved sleeping with said boy."

"Put a lid on it, Steven," Red scorned, "or said foot will find its way up your ass."

"You were always such a responsible young lady," Bob ranted. He pointed in Steven's direction. "All this started when you started hanging around him. He's a bad influence. Look what he's done to you now."

"Why does everybody keep acting like I'm the one that knocked her up, man?" Hyde questioned, slightly aggravated. "I'm not the one that slept with someone after I told me not to."

"Uncle Bob," Melissa cried. "That's not fair. Steven had nothing to do with this…Well, he did a little, but I'm the one that went overboard. This is my fault, my problem, and I'm going to take full responsibility for my actions."

"Oh, no you don't," he yelled, "You're not telling me what you're going to do. Where's this Peter boy? He's going to take responsibility for this, too."

"Said boy bailed," Steven replied.

Red glared at him again.

"Steven, honey," Kitty shunned. "You're not helping."

"Sorry, I couldn't help putting another 'said boy' in there," he smiled, which faded quickly as Red came toward him. "I got it, man. Can it or a foot in my ass."

"Great," Bob shrieked. "Now, I'm… mad. You're going to be a single mother. Do you realize how hard that is nowadays? How are you going to raise this baby? What do you have to say for yourself?"

Melissa really had no idea how to respond, so she answered with the first thing that came to mind, "Well…the good news is I've learned my lesson and I'm never having sex ever again. Oh, and I should probably go to my room for a while and think about what I've done."

Kitty looked petrified, "Oh, honey, no…"

As Bob yelled, it seemed as though steam was rising from the top of his horrible afro. "That's it," he wailed. "You're grounded for the rest of your life! And I don't want to hear you say anything about s—you know what I said about the S word. You're never to be in the same room with Hyde again!"

"Hot damn, praise the Lord," Red shouted in excitement. "I haven't been this excited since I shot down my first Japanese fighter plane while I was in Okinawa."

"But, Uncle Bob," Melissa cried.

"No buts. Now, go to your room," Bob interrupted, pointing to the Red and Kitty's living room.

"Ummm…Uncle Bob," she raised a brow.

"Don't, 'Uncle Bob' me," he spat. "Get moving."

"We don't live here," she finished, "and I don't have my own room, either."

Hyde nodded. "She's got you on that one."

Bob's face relaxed for a brief minute. "Oh, right," he said, frowning again. "You know what I mean. Go to home, go to Donna's room, and think about what you've done. You're lucky that I'm not going to tell Cliff and Lisa just yet."

Melissa's eyes widened, and she gasped, "That's so not…Fine! Fine! Fine!" She stood angrily and stalked out the sliding door.

Red, Kitty, and Bob stood staring at one another.

"You can't be serious," Hyde laughed, breaking the silence, "she's lucky you don't tell her parents? What kind of a threat is that when you can't even find them?"

"Steven," Red groaned. "Just go down to the basement."

Hyde nodded, rose from his chair, and started walking toward the basement door.

"And Steven," he added without turning around.

Hyde stopped in his tracks, "Yeah, Red."

"You can put that beer back in the refrigerator."

"Oh, hello, sweetheart," Kitty smiled as Melissa slipped through the sliding door. "Does Bob know that you're here?"

"Uncle Bob's let me out on good behavior," she replied, returning the smile and taking a seat at the kitchen table.

"So I take it he's not at home?" Kitty asked, opening the refrigerator door and retrieving a pitcher of orange juice. She poured a glass, walked over to the table, and sat both items on the table.

"Yeah," Melissa nodded. "He's gone to the grocery store to get some stuff to make sandwiches for lunch, dinner…and breakfast tomorrow."

"Oh," Kitty said, frowning, "you must be starving. I can re-heat the left over casserole from last night, so you just sit there and drink your juice." She hurriedly walked over and took a giant, mustard-color bowl from the refrigerator and then turned on the oven. "And after you eat, you can go down to the basement," she giggled, putting a finger to her lips. "It'll be our little secret."

Melissa was moaning and groaning as she attempted to make it down the basement stairs. She felt as though she were going to be sick. She cursed herself for having finished that whole bowl of casserole. She could have just said no when Mrs. Forman kept insisting that it was essential for her, "little tummy to be so full that it feels like it's going to pop" because she was now eating for two people. She let out another groan as she walked down another step.

"What's that noise?" Eric asked as he cut his eyes toward the ceiling.

Fez muted the television and everyone stopped what they were doing to listen.

"Dude, it sounds like you're mom and dad are getting it on," Kelso laughed, listening some more, "on the stairs! Your mom and dad are making it on the stairs! Wow, man, your mom's a moaner."

Eric grimaced. "Kelso that's just disgusting."

"I think it is beautiful, Eric," Fez grinned. "In my country, a woman's moan of pleasure is considered a sacred gift while love making."

Steven glanced up from his magazine.

"In this country, Fez," he began. "If the woman moaning is your mother, it's considered disturbing…" He closed his magazine and listened to the sounds coming from above them and then added, "But you see, this moan sounds more like groaning. Ten bucks says Red's lying on Kitty's hair again, and she's too afraid to say something out of fear that it'll break his concentration."

"Guys," Eric shrieked. "Can we please not talk about my parents' sex life?!"

"Oh, my God," Melissa whined as she finally reached the bottom of the stairs.

"Oh, it's just the whale," Kelso rolled his eyes.

"If I wasn't so full right now," Melissa grumbled, sitting on the couch next to him, "I'd hit you or at least think of a wicked burn that would take you ten minutes to realize that it was a wicked burn."

Michael looked at her dumbfounded, "Huh?"

"That was like an ingenious indirect burn, man," Hyde laughed.

"So, Melissa," Eric began. "Like…umm…You're here because?"

"To see Steven," she replied.

"Well," he smiled sarcastically. "You've seen him, so off you go."

"Forman," Hyde spoke up, casually looking at his magazine. "Let her go. She's not touching anything, man."

"Yeah, she is," Kelso disagreed, "her big, fat, whale butt is on the couch."

Steven shook his head.

"I thought you were grounded," Fez began, turning the volume up on the television. "You, not to mention Hyde, will get into trouble if Bob finds out."

"I would like to see what he'd do," Melissa said in a huff, folding her arms. "The only thing he can really do is put me on a bus back to Hashlords and that's about it."

Hyde's brow raised in interest, "Hashlords? I'll have to visit there sometime. I bet they have great…brownies."

Eric giggled, "Hashlords."

"I bet Leo is from there," Fez laughed.

"He probably founded it," Melissa added, laughing as well.

"Okay," Kelso looked around at each person, "what's so funny about Hashlords?"

As the gang attempted to explain to Kelso the hilarity behind the name of Melissa's hometown, a thunderous sound of feet racing down the basement stairs distracted them.

"Missy, Bob's just pulled into your driveway," Kitty informed breathlessly.

"Oh, crap," Melissa cried, jolting up from the couch. "I've got to get home!"

"I thought you didn't care about Bob catching you here?" Steven questioned.

She nodded. "I said I didn't care about it but it doesn't mean I want him to actually catch me. He'll probably freak out and put a padlock on the bedroom door."

Melissa thanked Mrs. Forman for lunch and bolted out the basement door.

Steven had not seen Melissa in about three weeks, not that he was at all worried or that he cared, but it he had to admit that her not breathing down his neck was a bit strange. Now that the two were on speaking terms again, he had expected to have her sticking to him like a blood-sucking leech every time she got an opportunity to sneak out of the house. He picked up a Playboy magazine, muted the television, and tried to focus his thoughts elsewhere. When naked pictures of beautiful women weren't enough to divert his attention, Steven knew he had a problem.

A solo-circle was an alternative option; however, he had already preformed five solo-circles in the last week. Hyde didn't want to make a habit out of it. Besides, circles were totally lame without his friends. He then began to wonder what would happen if Melissa was initiated into the sacred circle. He remembered Jackie's first circle, which had been interested to say the least. Steven laughed to himself at the thought of Melissa being as high as the Empire State Building.

"Steven!" Red yelled as he crouched down at the top of the basement stairs.

Hyde jerked slightly and his daydream dissolved to him sitting in the basement.

"Yeah, man," he responded.

"Kitty's been calling you for the last fifteen minutes," Red snapped. "You have a phone call. Get off your ass… and quit acting like you're on dope."

Hyde waited until he heard his footsteps retreat and followed up the stairs.

"There," Red gestured to the mustard-colored kitchen phone on the wall by the door. He gave Steven aggravated stare before disappearing into the living room.

He stared at the phone and hesitated a moment, remembering the last time he had had a telephone call. It had been from his mother, Edna, telling him that she was abandoning him for an on-the-go life with some truck driver.

"Yeah," he answered.

"Stevey!"

Hyde arched a brow, "Missy?"

"I've got no time to explain. He'll be back any minute," Melissa continued. Her voice was at a slight whisper. "Can you come over? The spare key is beneath the mat."

He stood confused and had no time to question her before she hung up.

"Whatever," he shrugged and hung up the phone.

Steven's better instincts told him to go back down into the basement and finish watching his television program, but he couldn't ignore that sound of desperation in Melissa's voice. That sudden twinge of empathy was more than he could stand. He growled under his breath and stormed out the sliding door.

His frustration had reached its peak by the time he had reached the Pinciotti's back door. Steven kicked up the door mat and retrieved the key. He rushed through the kitchen, into the living room, and up the stairs.

"Melissa, I hope you know that I'm missing Wonder Woman kicking ass in slow mo," Steven yelled as he stomped down the hallway toward Donna's room, "so if this isn't important I'm gonna be super pissed."

"You're here!" Melissa shouted happily from within the bedroom.

"What the hell is this, man?" he asked, jiggling the padlock that had been installed on Donna's door.

"It's Pinciotti Prison," she replied. "I'll explain later. Just get me out of here." Melissa listened for his response and heard nothing.

She banged on the door, "Steven, let me out. Let me out!"

"Cool it," he spat. "There's no way for me to get you out of there without a key, man. Where does Bob keep the key?"

"With him," she replied in dismay. "I'm going to go crazy if I stay in here any longer. Please, hurry!"

"Don't get your panties in a wad," he responded, walking back down the hallway. "Stay there. I'll be right back."

"Don't even think that you can go back to Wonder Woman while I'm trapped in here," she warned, banging her fists against the door again. "You'll live to regret it!"

"I doubt it," Steven grumbled as he walked slowly down the stairs while Melissa continued to yell his name.

Steven returned, within a few minutes, carrying Mr. Forman's screwdriver. He began to remove the screws of the hasp and carefully took it from the door. He looked at it momentarily and then tossed it to the floor.

"Free at last," she cried as Steven opened the door. "Thank God Almighty and Steven Hyde, I'm free at last."

He quickly stepped aside when he saw that she was ready to race into his arms.

"Yeah, that's wonderful. Can I go now?" he asked.

"Wait," Melissa tugged on his arm. "You came all this way."

"I live next door. That's not exactly long distance."

"I'll treat you at The Hub."

Hyde thought a moment. "That's cool. I could eat."

She smiled. "I have to tell you the real reason I called you over here."

"You're not gonna start telling me you love me and crap, are you?" he groaned.

"No," she replied, laughing. "I've got to use the bathroom!"

With that, Melissa took off down the hall for the nearest bathroom.

At The Hub, Melissa sat next to Steven at the gang's usual table. Steven eyeballed the tray of food as she began to unload each item. Two cheeseburgers with everything on them, one hot dog, two large fries, and a medium-sized cherry pop sat in front of her. He looked at the pile food and then to her.

"So, what are you going to eat?" she grinned innocently, handing Hyde his drink.

"Yeah," he cocked his head, "I'm not gonna pay for all that."

Steven scowled in disgust as he watched Melissa savagely bite into a burger.

"I didn't think you were actually serious about Bob and the locks on the doors," he said after moment as he watched in shock while she devoured a handful of fries.

Melissa swallowed her food. "He just put them on a few weeks ago. He caught me trying to sneak out, so he went down to the hardware store and started putting locks on every door in the house. The only place I'm allowed to go is school."

"That sucks, man," Steven tried to sound sympathetic, but ended up laughing.

"It's not funny," she pouted. "I mean, this morning he left and forgot to give me a bathroom break. I don't get how giving me a kidney infection is for my own good. I wish everybody would quit saying what's good for me."

"Yeah," he concurred, still laughing. "They told you that sex was a bad idea and look how well that worked out for you."

"Shut up," she giggled, hitting his arm lightly.

She paused for a moment and began to eat her other burger.

"So, what's been going on down at the basement?" she asked.

He shrugged. "It's the same as before. Donna's dating Casey. Forman's still pissed that Donna's dating Casey. Jackie's still annoying. Fez still grabs himself when he thinks nobody's looking…Oh, but Kelso did manage to shoot himself in the eye with a rubber band last week. That's something new."

"I really don't like Casey," Melissa frowned.

"He bought me a beer once," Hyde grinned, "so he's cool in my book."

"Besides being intelligent," she stated, "he's a lot like his brother. If she gets serious with this guy, she might end up…"

Steven was suddenly so uncomfortable that he was about two seconds away from removing his sunglasses and laying them on the table. He hated to see the pain across Melissa's face as she spoke. He arched a brow as that thought just struck him. Steven Hyde hated to see Melissa, of all the annoying people in his life, struggling to overcome her inner conflicts. What the hell was wrong with him?

"Like you," he unwillingly finished.

Melissa looked at him briefly with tears in her eyes as she forced an unconvincing smile. He could tell she was trying not trying cry in front of him again. If anything, this whole unfortunate event was teaching her that crying would never solve the problem.

"Yeah," she nodded, her head drooping down, "like me."

"Have you thought about what's next?" he asked.

Melissa looked past his tented frames and into his eyes. She was stunned by the amount of seriousness in his voice. The Steven she knew possessed a sarcastic tone of voice, and to her knowledge, had never been serious about anything in his entire life.

"I honestly don't know," she replied. "I don't think I'll be a very good mother."

"As long as you don't leave it at the grocery store or abandon it two months shy of its eighteenth birthday," he said, attempting to cheer her up, "then you'll be a pretty good mom. Though, my mom abandoning me was the best thing she ever did."

"Be serious," she giggled slightly. "I have nothing to offer this child. I have no family, no father figure for it, and most of all, no stability."

"I could always get you some part-time work at the Fotohut," he offered without thinking. "It would be easy. You'd get paid to just sit around and do nothing. And when Leo starts talking about fruitcake or whatever, you can sneak money from the cash drawer like I do all the time, so technically you'll make above minimum wage."

"That'd be totally awesome," she grinned. "You think Leo would go for it?"

"If you want the job, it's yours," he replied. "Leo would hardly know you're there. He forgets I work there almost on a daily basis."

"Well, a job's secure then," she nodded, marking that off of her mental check-list.

"What next?"

"Transportation will be an issue, especially when I have to go to the doctor."

"No big deal. I can take you and drop you off."

"You don't mind?"

"Oh, I mind, but you have no other choice. If I let Leo take you, you'll probably end up at some veterinarian hospital in Canada."

"That's possible," she laughed.

"So, we've got that much figured out at least," Steven said, feeling rather accomplished with himself for having so many useful suggestions all at once.

Melissa nodded. "But we still haven't figured out what to do about Uncle Bob and his fruity-imprisoning-me thing? He'll never willingly let you come within two feet of me, either."

"I can always keep a screwdriver in my back pocket," he answered.

"I can't do this, Stevey," she let out a depressing sigh. "If I keep having to answer to my uncle and try to raise a child when I'm still a child myself, I just…I can't."

He nodded understandingly, and said, "Yeah, guess so, but it's your choice, man. If you think you can't do this because of you or your uncle, then don't. But don't bail out on the kid, at least find it a good home."

"I would so love to give you a compliment right about now," she smiled, stealing a drink of his soda, "but then it would ruin this unusual moment between us."

"Good," he snarled as she handed him back the cup, "keep those disgusting and totally unacceptable praises to yourself." He pushed the cup back in her direction, adding, "I don't want that now that you're drools been on it."

Melissa laughed and the two stood. She walked over and threw away her trash.

Steven stopped just as they reached the door. "Are you coming to the basement?"

"No," she shook her head. "I think I have some things to take care of."

He sighed, following her out the door.

"Why do I get the feeling that you're gonna drag me along?"

Melissa and Steven were sitting at the kitchen table when Bob returned home from his "jog," which was code to say that he was out attempting to pick up pretty woman in the neighborhood.

"What the heck are you doing out of your room, young lady?" he questioned as he walked through the door. His eyes narrowed on Steven, adding, "And what the heck are you doing here, Hyde? I specifically told you to stay away from my niece."

Steven rolled his eyes. "Believe me, Bob," he reassured, rattling something beneath the table, "If I wasn't handcuffed to this table right now, I would."

"Stevey," she reminded. "This is only so you won't try to run again. I'll let you go soon but we both need to face our fears right now."

"I'm not afraid of anything," he snapped. "I just don't like the idea of ending up in the morgue…wearing a freakin' table leg like a charm bracelet, man."

Melissa stood. "Before you start overreacting and your double chin starts jiggling rapidly in rage," she began, gesturing to the chair she had occupied, "have a seat. It's time we talk."

Bob looked reluctant and slowly took a seat.

"Thanks," she sighed, looking Steven, "Okay, Steven, you tell him."

"Come again?" he raised a brow. "Why do I have to tell him?"

"Well, most of this was your idea," she replied.

"So," he retorted, "you're the one with the baby."

"Someone better say something," Bob snapped, "…And it better not be about the two of you getting married, either. If that's the case, I'm getting Red over here."

"Gross," Steven snarled. "Just hurry up and tell him, Missy, or I'm gonna hurl."

She nodded with another sigh. "Look, Uncle Bob, I understand that you're upset with me and you have ever right to be, but locking me in the house cannot change what has been done. Stevey is not a bad influence on me. I brought all of this on myself and I'm accepting that."

"How can you be okay with that?" Bob questioned, forcing a laugh. "You're too young to be raising a baby."

"I know," she replied as she began to pace. "I never said that I was considering keeping this baby. I'm still thinking this entire thing over. Whatever I decide will be the appropriate decision when that time comes. From this moment on, I would like you to recognize that I'm an adult."

"You're not an adult," Bob persisted, slightly upset.

"She kind of is, man," Steven disagreed. "She's got to be to have a kid."

"He's right," she nodded firmly, stopping, "and as my first task into becoming an adult, I'll be taking a job at the Fotohut."

"You're not going to drop out of school," Bob frowned, crossing his arms.

"Of course not," she smiled. "I'll do both. And as of right now, I want you to say that I am no longer grounded. With your permission, I would like to continue seeing Steven and the gang. I have a great group of people supporting me."

Bob was still visibly upset, but he knew that his arguments had been defeated. His face softened and he sighed.

He stared at her a moment and then said, "Well, okay, but I want you to promise one thing before I let you loose."

"Anything," Melissa shouted, jumping up and down.

He stood and pulled her into his arms.

"Don't let Kelso anywhere near you and the baby with anything on fire or sharp objects in his hands," he said, kissing her forehead.