This Chapter:
Situations of attempted self-harm.
M for more vibrant language, more mature themes, and sexually mature scenes. I don't own Star Trek, more's the pity. Only my original characters and plot line.
Loss
Ch 14 - Needing
Standing on the sixth floor of the Sunsphere, a tall, muscular man ran his fingers through his dark bangs. Khan grinned - pleased with himself and with the superiority of his body. While the first round of Sara's drug had knocked him out, his internal systems used that time to build up an immunity to it. By the second time she employed it, Khan simply faked going under. The rest was easy.
Now, awake and free from his restraints, Khan watched Sara make her way back to the hotel. Following her every move as she walked away from the structure, Khan's eyes flamed into the raging hatred he only reserved for those who had betrayed him the most. Sara had made him care, made him weak, and made him admit that weakness. He refused to be subject to it and her any longer.
A safe distance away from the exploding Sunsphere, Khan disposed of the remote detonation device in a rubbish bin. Then his brain went through his psychopath's 'To Do' list automatically: 1) Kill Sara 2) Discover who sent him back into the past and why 3) Kill those responsible – he didn't like people manipulating him and that's exactly what this felt like. As soon as those three things were completed, Khan would be free again to focus on what really mattered – taking his revenge on those who had wronged him in the future. The names 'Kirk' and 'Spock' burned in his brain. He still had his dead crew to avenge after all.
But, first things first. And Sara would come first. Khan took a deep breath and turned his gaze towards the hotel. Looking at the box with the vaccines, Khan debated delaying his retribution with conflicting thoughts. Should he give Sara one last chance to prove that she loved him – even though her recent actions made that doubtful? All Khan would have to do was wait and observe. The thought of what Sara meant to him, what she could mean to him in the future, racked his heart. The swell in Khan's chest made his decision for him. He would wait. He would observe Sara in the morning. He would look at her face – and that would decide her fate.
The thought of Khan being dead had a physical impact on the woman who loved him. Before she could stop herself, Sara emptied the contents of her stomach onto the floor of her hotel room. Any control she once had on her body left as her grief took over. By the time she finished, her chest was heaving in a state of hyperventilation. With what little strength she had left, Sara pulled herself up to the bed and cried herself to sleep – not caring how loud her sobs were.
In the morning, Sara woke up with swollen eyes that didn't want to open. All she wanted to do was wallow in her misery, but she forced herself to shower. The warm water helped to prize her eyelids open and bring her back to some state of normalcy. However, when she looked at herself in the mirror hanging over the dresser, Sara's self control vanished again. Lifting the small desk chair, Sara brought it crashing into her reflection. The chair broke apart; and the woman took a sturdy leg and proceeded to bust anything in her sight: tv, wall art, windows all fell to her rage. When she was done, the room was trashed in a way that only a rock star would approve of; and Sara took several minutes to steady her breath trying her to calm herself.
Sara buried her grief and anger down inside her. In order to do this, she covered both of those emotions up with an icy conviction. She had learned a lot of things from Khan – and this was one of them.
When she was ready, Sara dusted the broken glass off her suitcase and left the room. As she crossed the hotel lobby, Sara muttered to herself, "Nothing. Think of nothing. It's nothing. It was nothing."
Her expression was dead and cold. She couldn't afford to let herself think about Khan now, or she'd break down again. Sara wouldn't allow her mourning to surface until she was in a safe location. Instead, she tried to focus on the new problem facing her.
Now, on top of her other goals, Sara had to find Khan's killer and avenge his death. She knew it would not undo her guilt in his murder – she had left him alone, defenseless, in the middle of multiple bombs – but it was all she could do for him.
Walking like a zombie through the lobby, Sara never noticed the familiar figure staring at her from the shadows. With darkened eyes and grim features, Khan looked down at the piece of paper he held in his hand before crushing it and placing it in the pocket of his coat. From the look on her face, she felt nothing at his death. He also could have sworn Sara said, "He was nothing."
Khan's disappointed began to boil into a rage. He was extraordinary. He was superior. He was Khan. Determined to deal with her sooner than later, Khan hardened his heart toward her. No one betrayed him like this and lived.
Just as he began to stalk after the only woman he had ever loved preparing to strangle her with his bare hands, a man grabbed his elbow. Khan whirled around ready to pummel whoever dared to touch him. But, before he could, an arrogant voice sounded, "I don't know who you think you are, boy; but you're not gettin' away with trashin' your room like that!"
"What?" Khan's eyes blazed with fury – first at Sara, now for the insect who was preventing him from killing her.
"The state you've left that room! I'm gonna call the police if you or your girlfriend don't pay up. I am the manager, Kevin Kee, and the police are on my speed-dial."
"I was not in that room last night." Khan glowered at the clueless human – unaware of how close he was to death.
"And I don't give a good God-damn. I know you checked in with that crazy-ass woman." He shook his head in disbelief, "I never knew a woman could be so destructive."
"Wait. You say she destroyed it?" Khan's eyes began to cool slightly. Why would she destroy it if she felt nothing at his death?
"And how. That little minx packs a punch.
Khan's eyes cooled and narrowed. "Show me."
The smell hit Khan's senses before the door was fully open. He went to stand behind the window but at a distance to where Sara had been sick.
"I don't know what kind of party you had here last night, but you need to git that girl some help. Whatever she's on, boy, it cain't be good. It's bad enough she's trashed the place, but with the complaints we've had, I know we've lost a couple of long time customers."
"What complaints?"
"Cryin' and wailin' last night right after the explosion – which might be understandable if she was a nervous gal. But, then this mornin' she was breakin' everything and makin' a huge noise."
Khan walked to the bed and ran his fingers along the pillow Sara had used. It was still damp with her tears. The moisture made him smile. All the classic signs were there – the physical illness, the tears, the rage. Sara truly did love him and was mourning him. For the first time, Khan hated himself – just a little – for making her believe that he was dead. But after Sara's actions in the Sunsphere, Khan had to be sure of her – without question. Now that he could trust her again, Khan pulled out the crumpled paper and committed the address, date, and time to memory. He would do as Sara asked and take a month to discover who did this to her and locate them for her. Together, they would get their revenge.
"Hey, son."
Khan turned and gave his attention to the manager. Lost in his thoughts, Khan had tuned the annoying insect out.
"I said I guess you're gonna pay for this."
Khan's attitude was detached, "I will not."
"Well, I'll just have to charge the damages to this little psycho bitch's credit card."
Khan turned in an instant. Instead of coldness, a rage took him as he grabbed the man's neck, picked him up, and slammed him against the wall.
"You will not speak of her disrespectfully. She is superior. You are nothing more than a cockroach compared to her." Khan growled at the man who slighted Sara.
"Jesus, boy, you've got it pretty bad." Kevin huffed out trying to get air back into his lungs.
Khan thought a moment before releasing him. "Credit card. You have her details on your computer."
"Yes." The manager squeaked.
"Take me to your office."
As Sara drove west out of Knoxville, she was forced to pull over before her desired exit. She needed them - now. She searched through her handbag and found some pills she had to settle her nerves. She hadn't needed them in a long time. Now, her guilt overwhelmed her, and Sara broke down again. When a steady stream of rain started falling, Sara was thankful – at least it shielded her from prying eyes. A crying woman always drew attention and that's the last thing she wanted at this moment.
Suddenly, she snapped; and a frantic Sara emptied out her handbag.
"Fuck, fuck, fuck! Where the fuck is it?"
For an instant she thought she had found it, and that all would be well. She pressed her fingers down on a cardboard holder and tried to drop the cold metal into her other hand. But instead of finding her last, secret, hidden razor blade, Sara found a note written in Khan's scrawled handwriting: 'You have me now. You do not need this anymore.'
Tears blurred her vision as she laid her head on the steering wheel and sobbed.
The manager pulled up Sara's details. Khan watched the computer pull up not only the transaction for the room but also an earlier purchase.
"How can you pull up her history of purchases?"
"The hotel buys the software in order to process credit cards – this just happens to be part of the program. Look, as manager, I even have it on my smart phone." As soon as that last confession left his lips, Kevin cursed his stupidity.
Khan's right side of his lips smirked upward. "How convenient. And why would a manager need that capability?" Khan took a menacing step towards Kevin.
"Well, I..."
"Wouldn't be skimming from your unsuspecting customers would you? Let me look." Khan took the phone and scrolled through it. "Tut, tut. You have over 5000 credit card numbers in here. I wonder what the police would say to that?"
"Now just wait a minute." Kevin quickly became defensive.
"No. I will not wait. I am going to take your phone, and you are going to erase Ms. Trevathan's details from your main system."
"Look here, I'll call the police."
"I do not think so, Kevin. Not only would you open yourself up to criminal charges, but I can easily find you again – here or at your house on 162 Dogwood Cove. I believe that is your home address."
"Boy, I don't take kindly to threats."
Khan quickly curled his fist around Kevin's neck. "Be thankful that you have given me some information that has put me into a good mood. I have killed many people for far fewer infractions of which you are guilty. Now, do I have your complete cooperation?"
Kevin could only nod. And his only option was to nod, 'yes'.
"Or would you rather me crush your windpipe and leave your dead body rotting on the floor?"
Kevin could only shake his head, 'no'.
"Good. Now I need your assistance in acquiring a transport device."
"Transport? You mean a car?" The manager's voice was raspy after Khan's ministrations.
"A car, yes – a Subaru to be exact."
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