Harry opened his eyes. He, Ron, and Hermione were in the forest where the attended the Quidditch World Cup during the fourth book.
"WTF Hermione why are we here?"
But Hermione wasn't listening. She was standing over Ron, who had a chunk taken out of his arm.
"Harry...Ron got Splinched!" Hermione cried, a look of horror coming over her face.
"LOLZ!"
"It's not funny, OMG!"
"But really Hermione, why aren't we at Grimmauld Place?"
Hermione sighed. "DUH Harry. J.K. Rowling changed the rules to avoid plot holes, and now that Dumbledore died, we're all Secret Keepers! And Yaxley grabbed onto me when we were Apparating, so now he knows the secret! Oh noez!"
Harry thought for a moment. "Oh, I guess that makes sense."
Suddenly Ron woke up. "I'm hungry. Hermione, get in the kitchen and make some food."
Hermione set up a tent with a bunch of magical enchantments so that none of the bad guys could get in. Then she set off to find food.
When Hermione came back, they ate some mushrooms, which pretty much pissed Ron off. "I want a steak!" he complained. Tears came to Hermione's eyes, and she went to go keep watch outside the tent.
That night when Harry had his turn keeping watch, he kind of fell asleep.
"Give it to me Gregorovitch!"
"Seriously Voldy, some kid stole it like a million years ago."
"Who is this kid?"
"The hell if I know. GTFO of my shop, you ass."
"Nobody talks to the V-Dizzle that way. AVADA KEDAVRA!"
Harry woke up with Hermione standing in front of him. "Seriously Harry!"
"Yeah I know Hermione, Dumbledore said no!"
"Umm...actually I was going to say you're a moron for falling asleep while you're supposed to be watching, GTFO."
Harry shrugged and went back in the tent.